Sunday, August 16, 2009

Levi Johnston Spills The Beans...

... about Kathy Griffin and her sex habits!!!!

Oh boy, am I gonna get in soooooo much trouble for this. I sincerely hope that Rex Butler has a much better sense of humour (or ANY sense of humour) than Sarah Palin's attorney, Mr. Van Fleabag.

Y'all remember when Twatter, oops I mean Twitter, went down last week? Firstly I'd like to state for any potential court record that IT WAS NOT ME! I swear it wasn't! Hell, I wasn't even in the area! Hell I wasn't even in the vicinity of this solar system! Oops, wasn't supposed to mention that...

Anyways, I didn't do it.

But I did manage to piece together quite a few private, direct messages via the Twatter network (which I didn't hack!) betwixt a certain 19 year old hunk from Wazzula, Alaska and a few of his homies. I also found --I mean some other alien found-- a twat (oops, tweet) from a certain very liberal Hollywood celebrity and a certain ex-governor of Alaska who just happened to abort her term as governor in the late second trimester (2.5 years into a 4 year term translates to 11 days and 6 hours before her third trimester as gov would have started --it's called mathematics! Do they still teach that on this planet?)

Of course I'm taking this all on faith from some very reliable sources. Remember: I DID NOT HACK INTO THAT TWAT! I mean Twitter, of course.

Now, here's the picture in question, and my captions are a re-slut --I mean result-- of my (someone elses!) sleuthing through various private twats --I mean twits.

Levi to his homies in Wazzula: Duuuuuudes, you ain't gonna believe what these Hollywood MILF's do! Did you know she's able to suck a golf ball through a hundred feet of garden hose? She told me one of her gay friends showed her how! WOW! Don't worry if I'm walkin' funny, it's all good.

Kathy to Sarah Palin: Hey honey! You'd better keep on hiding cus I'm smiling like this for a reason! After what Levi told me about you and your family I'm never going to have to write comedy material again! Just the truth about your family life is more than enough to keep all us Hollywood liberals entertained for a long time! Ta!

And here's a candid picture from an intrepid paparazzi photographer showing Levi and Kathy in a sexual fetish act!
levi and kathy
Oh yes Levi! Deeper! Faster! Oh yes, keep that toe in my ear!

And all Sarah Palin can do is glare at them from her undisclosed fortress after aborting her term as Governor of Alaska:
glaring sarah palin
Hey! Somebody better pay attention to meeeeee!!!!

I'm just putting up these next two pictures to give someone in ADQ the heebie-jeebies.

more lories
We're watching you Ish...

Keeping a sharp eye out for any Fishsticks...
pretty birdie
Mmmmmm, Ishmael's fingers are tasty...

1 comment:

Fizzgig said...

YOU HAVE to admit she is smart about getting herself in the headlines!