Alaskan Dave Down Under

Alien Abduction Act XIV The Charge of The Heavy Brigade

2012-01-17T17:36:00.000+10:30

Yes folks, my memories of my time aboard the Alien Space Ship (A.S.S) are starting to come back to me in much more better and fuller colour than ever! Well, a new computer and new 3d software helps too... sorta, kinda.

I'm sure that my long time readers will remember the first 13 acts of my abduction; How I died, came back to life as a lightning-charged, sledgehammer-wielding, brain-eating zombie, was transported up to the A.S.S. and am now roaming the A.S.S (rego number C4P-PFP2012) looking for alien brains to eat. Right?

Oh, you mean some of you just may have forgotten? No worries mates, lemme give you the links to the whole story up till now!

Prelude to Alien Abduction. Nothing to do with aliens though. Just me being stupid.

Alien Abduction Act I. Where it all begins. Plus some pretty hot pics of me and Wifey-Poo!

Act II. This is where I use a meat cleaver to shave with whilst in the pool!

Act III. Buried at sea. And sushi too!

Act IV. Lighting storm reanimates my corpse!

Act V. My zombie self begins to calm down.

Act VI. A sledge-hammer wielding zombie is great to have in the kitchen!

Act VII. Blasting off Earth and towards the A.S.S. !!!

Here's a teaser pic from Act VII

Act VIII. Photographic evidence of the A.S.S. from a passing Chinese spy satellite.

Act IXa. Promotional material for the real Act IX.

Act IX. Alien ship identified!

Act X. My arrival aboard the A.S.S.

Act XI. Very tricky aliens!

Act XII. We finally meet the aliens!!!!!!!!!!!

Act XIII. Charging towards the control room!

At this point as I charge from the signpost in the caverns (holograms, remember) towards what I was hoping was the control room I noticed a change occuring in my surrounds.

The cavern faded and was replaced by what was obviously an A.S.S. passageway, the lighting became more subdued, the stalactite I was carrying became more defined and I became even more studly looking than before! (Ain't new 'puters great?)

And with that I continued to charge towards the control room of the A.S.S.!

Coming soon, Act XV The Battle With The P-Bots!

Don't swoon ladies, I'm human!

Unfinished Bizzness!

2012-01-16T18:19:00.001+10:30

It has come to my attention that I just may, just MAYBE, might've left one or too loose ends hanging around this ole bloggie thingy.

Butt, four at least won of them, there is a guud reazin!

*Psst! Mind-Controlling Evil Alien Abductors to Dipshit dave: CAN THE STUPID SPELLIN' CRAP NOW!*

Do I seriously need to remind all my legions of loyal readers that I was abducted by aliens a while ago? For those of you who know me, this will come as absolutely no surprise and will probably explain a great many things about Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm still human!)

Did anyone notice that approximately eight hundred eighteen thousand six hundred forty-three minutes ago (but who's counting?) that the completely 100% TRUE story of my alien abduction was aborted after Chapter XIII was filed?

Would the one or two of you who noticed the stoppage like to know just exactly why the story stopped abruptly? Wouldja wouldja wouldja??????

It was because of a computer crash. As in seriously, hugely DEAD!

Obviously Wifey-Poo (The Most Wonderful Woman In The Entire World) went straight out and got me a new one (computer, that is) and over the next few days I rescued as much data off the dead hard drive as I could.

And then "other things" started to happen. No, the aliens didn't return and I was not turned back into the lightning-charged, sledgehammer-wielding zombie I had been during my abduction. It was just "stuff".

I also (this is the important part!!!!!!!!!!!) was not able to rescue my dsb daz3D files that contained some rather pertinent information regarding just how I looked whilst I was aboard The Alien Space Ship (henceforth called The A.S.S.).

Fortunately through the miracle of modern technology and some rather late night 3D doodling by Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human!), I was able to completely replicate just exactly how anatomically correct I looked whilst on board The A.S.S.

And not only do I look like I really did, I was able to recreate all the A.S.S. hallways, lighting, windows, controls too! And also too what they looked like!!!!

So everyone puh-leez stay tuned for Alien Abduction Chapter XIV, Charge of The Heavy Brigade! Coming soon to a blog near you.

Alert! Alert! This is an ALERT!

2012-01-01T15:56:00.000+10:30

Ai haz new zoftwear!

Now that both Wifey-Poo (The Most Wonderful Woman In The Entire World) and Yours Truly (that'd be me, don't swoon ladies I'm human) both have 'puters that'll run the latest version of this software, I decided to download the trial version earlier this arvo.

And I just had to of course play with it a bit as I was playing in the kitchen.

I'll just put up a few renders and I'm sure you will be able to figure out what software it is.

The sky is not a backdrop pic and zero post-render work was done.

Playing around with 3d stuff

2011-12-31T15:51:00.001+10:30

Why? Because I can, that's why.

Not sure what I'll do with this, just monkeying around this arvo and thought I'd share. Please click on it to view it full size, the detailing is primo!

Picture caption contest!

2011-12-29T18:15:00.000+10:30

Yes indeedy mates! I know it's been a while since we've had a picture caption contest here, so we may as well have one now!

I'll be putting the picture up via whatever service blogger uses now, along with the flickr pic so hopefully one of them will load for you.

My caption is this: Ah, excuse me sir but it appears that Planet Ulkhurr has installed a brand new, state-of-the-art defensive mechanism and I do believe it's trying to tell us to kindly bugger off!

Of course, that caption just might make a wee bit more scents if you actually saw the picture. Right?

Just scroll on down to have a squizz at the pic, then feel free to come up with your own caption in the comments, no worries.

And don't worry, no one will make fun of you!

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Ready for the pic?

Please click on the pic to get the full sized picture, it's much more better that way mates!

And for those of you who want the flickr pic:

Season's Greetin's From Oz Mates!

2011-12-24T17:35:00.001+10:30

Oi! G'day all me mates! How are ya?

Me? I'm good, no worries. Getting nice and tanned even though it's been a blood-well cold winter here in South Oz!

I tell's ya, if'n I ever find that b*tch named La Nina she'd better watch out!I mean seriously here it is Christmas Eve and it's only 97 degrees Fartenheights in the shade! Phht! If it doesn't warm up soon then I may go loopy! Loopier than usual that is of course.

And the pool! Crikey mates, it's never been this cold even in winter! The other day I jumped in, big mistake mates!As my frigid frozen body was starting to rise to the surface face first, Wifey-Poo snapped a photo of the event!

Wouldja like to see the foto? Of course you would. I shall therefore indulge you...

Cold I tells ya mates, COLD!

*insert scene change here as dave's brain blows it's last remaining fuse*

So happy holidays to everyone and I hope that you all have a great 2012!

Don't worry, there will be a post betwixt this one and 2012, no worries.

Dang do I have some seriously loose blogends posts to finish up! Oof, just may be time!

And if'n any of you kiddies don'ts gets nuthin', then here's da reason why:

Guess what everybody? C'mon, GUESS!

tick

tock

tick

tock

...

Time's up.

Someone has finally accepted my standing invitation to visit! That young bloke from North Pole. Lives in a place called Santa Claus House. Nice digs too. Mrs Claus makes a mean cuppa, lemme tell ya.

Anyways, back when I was in Alaska I told Santa that he's more than welcome to come visit anytime. Perchance just before Christmas to give him a chance to unwind before the big night.

Well, he took me up on the offer this year.

I tell ya, it's a good thing I've been making extra homebrew for these holidays cus that guy sure can put them away.

See what I mean:

We were having a jolly ole time. Trading stories about the north and what not. When that guy gets a few into him ALL the dirt comes out about Rudolph, the other reindeer and all the elves.

I started to get a little bit concerned after a few hours as he showed no sign of letting up on the imbibing.

I was getting worried since it was only 2 pm and he'd gone through a case in only 2 hours.

Let the damn elves deliver the pressies to the brats this year!

How many chillis did you put in this beer?

By now I was getting very concerned for Santa's wellbeing. Perhaps the strain of his job finally got to him?

Remember to tell your kids that if Santa doesn't visit this year that it's NOT because they've been bad. It's because Santa has been bad!

Very bad...

No scents putting this off mates...

2011-12-16T09:47:00.002+10:30

Yes, no scents at all in putting this post off. I've been putting it off for almost 7 weeks now as I've had a hard time finding the words.

Firstly, this has NOTHING to do with the fact it's my five-th hundredth post.

Secondly, I am not giving up blogging.

Thirdly, the reason why you haven't heard from me for a while is that whilst I was formulating a post regarding the compleat historonics and history of The Alaska Foods Co. here in South Oz, a very bad thing happened.

My dad died.

He only made it to 68. He had been in his new retirement house in sunny, warm (compared to AK) NC for barely 14 months.

I have so many wonderful memories of my father and I've been trying to figure out a way to weave them all into a tribute post to dad. There are too many. I can't. I'm not a gifted wordsmith (yes, some of you may have noticed that yonks ago) and as the thoughts and memories of my dad careen through me wee little brain they leave no trace for my fingers to track.

You may therefore expect various stories and thoughts about my dad peppered throughout blog posts at whenever I feel like it.

I used to drive my dad's freight truck in Anchorage so he could take his entire summer off and sail around Resurrection Bay and Prince William Sound. But that's all a story for another time...

My dad was superman. If you don't believe me then just check this out. It is a four (4) part story of my dad (that'd be superman) rescuing his entire family (mom, me, brother).

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

As words are failing me, I shall leave you with some pictures of my dad and the brood. I'm sure you can guess the only one of the pictures that is NOT 40 years old.

I'm the short one in this pic btw.

Any longtime Alaskans recognize that shirt and what it means?

Lookin' pretty darned good at 67!

And what did I look like way back then?

Goodbye dad. You are missed mate!

Something Seems Odd...

2011-09-25T16:56:00.003+09:30

... about this picture.

Can you find the oddity and also the meaning of it?

And there is a perfectly logical explanation for the oddity too, also.

From Wifey-Poos Store of Useless Information

2011-09-04T16:01:00.003+09:30

And before any of you get upset at that, I'm not the one who calls it that! She does. I tell her it's not useless! Nothing with Wifey-Poo is ever useless, trust me on that.

Now if she's reading this then I won't have to sleep on the couch tonight!

First though, how's abouts a birdy pic from the backyard? Kids, don't try this at home!

Just HOW do they do that?

Back to the information from Wifey-Poo.

We were watching a show on the telly the other night. The show was from the year 1981 and I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out by reading what Wifey-Poo said whilst we were watching it.

Wifey-Poo: Did you know the lady playing Trillion was married to Peter Davison and they had a daughter named Sophia Miles who was engaged to Tennant so she was not only the wife of The Doctor but also almost his Mother-In-Law?

Yours Truly: Ummmmm... Yes dear.

I made some more braided bread the other day. Some of you may have seen this on me twitter timeline, but it may to new to many of you:

Pretty cool looking, eh?

Another Year Has Flown By!

2011-08-28T16:27:00.002+09:30

Yes folks, another year has gone by. Flew by! Shot by! ZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMED by!

I blinked, I missed it. Darn.

Yes, it is my birthday today, Sunday August 28th 2011.

I wasn't expecting anything this morning as our plans for overnighting somewhere (anywhere EXCEPT the house!) were shot to shit 2 weeks ago. Spent the last 2 weeks helping BIL with his PHD thesis AND helping him grade biology lab reports for 1st year uni students.

Is there anything his daveness can't do? Full disclosure: his daveness is what one of my twitter girlfriends calls me :-} She also wants a clone of me. Or at least someone to cook for her!

Don't swoon ladies, I'm human!

Anyways, wifey-poo and I are gonna get away, it'll be a late birthday pressie for me.

And even with that I did get some pressies this morning! I did have to make my own cake, but I'm pretty good at that.

BIL picked out a great card. It is the BEST BIRTHDAY CARD EVER!

Hey, off topic but can anyone guess whereabouts in South Oz this picture was tooked?

Now by now I'm sure that perhaps just one or two of you are about to inquire as to my current age. Well, you don't need to ask cuz I'm gonna tell ya!

I am now 2.6914 x 10^52 Planck time units old.

And I feel every single one of them at times!

For those of you who have a hard time converting Planck time units into the arcane "year" measurement, I have this to say:

nanner nanner nanner

Koala pics and vids!

2011-08-27T17:23:00.002+09:30

Too busy to actually put up one of my world-famous, hilariously funny blog posts. So y'all are gonna have to make due (in do time) with some pictures.

And a video.

That Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human!) tooked 3 days ago whilst Wifey-Poo and I literally dragged MIL out the door to have a picnic up at Belair National Park.

Remember, these are wild koalas.

The first one is a koala running (yes, RUNNING) across a field! This is NOT something you see everyday folks!

And just how's abouts a video of that koala? Yes, I'm good *wink*

Zen and The Art of Sleeping

I have a lot to learn...

I'm impressed!

And finally...

Yes, my ass is very comfortable wedged betwixt these two branches. Why do you ask?

Isn't Someone Going Help That Poor Man?

2011-08-23T11:06:00.003+09:30

"Hush Harriet, that's a sure way to get him killed!"

I'm sure that all my regular readers will know exactly what movie those two lines are from and what situation it pertains to, also.

But when I hear those lines I think of something, shall we say... Different!

Perhaps maybe something like this picture...

Whoops, looks like someone doesn't wear her wig at home!

And feel to click on the pic to bring it up fullsize!

A Public Service Announcement from Yours Truly!

2011-08-20T13:14:00.003+09:30

Y'all knows that UV is bad fer ya, right? That'd be the UV radiation you get from sitting out in the sun too long, BTW. Now remember that you do want to get out in the sun regularly as you need your vitamin D, but over-exposure can be, well, bad.

Not only do ya run the risk of skin cancer, but it can make your skin look yonks (YONKS I tells ya!) older than what it really is.

Butt don't worry cuz if you're stupid enough you don't even knead to be over-exposed to the sun to get those wonderful skin problems! Tanning beds mate, tanning beds.

Hocked by hucksters to the most vain segment of society, these "beds" just bathe you in nasty UV radiation. And do you think ANYONE who uses them puts on sunblock, shirt, and a hat? What a silly question!

And there is now fotogaffic evidence of just what can happen to the skin of a "person" if she uses a tanning bed for a decade or two, consumes diet pills and Red Bull routinely and then shows up at a State Fair where anyone can see her!

Let's face it, no amount a makeup can hide THIS!

And if that "person" were to perhaps continue on this path to skin destruction, it certainly won't be long before a picture like this is taken of her:

Fortunately, I don't have any of those skin problems as a very recent photo of Yours Truly has surfaced like putrid gas rising through swamp waters...

Meanwhile, somewhere on the Fleurieu Peninsula, a marsupial contemplates life...

The best laid (snicker) plans...

2011-03-22T11:26:00.003+10:30

... can certainly go awry.

No, that doesn't mean the trip sucked. In fact, it was AWESOME! We found quite a few places down on the Fleurieu we didn't know existed, and saw some we knew existed butt hadn't been to yet.

Here's a teaser pic of Around The Fleurieu (ATF) --multipart blog post series thingy coming soon to a blog near yew.

Please click on it to see it full size, you'll love it! The pic is a closeup of the sunset over Gulf St. Vincent as seen from Normanville, South Oz. The only thing I did to the pic was to resize it (that means shrink it down a ways). Absolutely ZERO computer enhancements were done.

Yes, it was Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human) who tooked this photo. The camera helped a wee bit of course.

And for those of you who'd prefer the flickr pic...

If you can't see all of the flickr pic, just click on it and it'll take you to it's flickr page where you can view it at any size you'd like, no worries.

Much more soon so stay tuned campers!

♫Plannin Out a Route We're Gonna Take Real Soon♫

2011-03-19T07:53:00.002+10:30

How soon? In two hours from now! How's that for soon?

It's the 12th Wedding Anniversary betwixt Yours Truly and Wifey-Poo. I must say, it still only seems like yesterday... *happy sigh*

Anyways, we're heading down to the Fleurieu Peninsula for 3 days. It's been a few years since we've been down that way even though it's practically the backyard for us.

I'll type in our quite changeable itinerary which is subject to change without notice. Except for where we are staying each night.

Heading out of here at 10 AM Sat. Which means closer to 11, of course. Stop off at Clarendon Oval for a nice cuppa and start to relax. Probably pick up a pastry at the wonderful, vintage, been-there-forever, Clarendon Bakery. Yes, I know it's only 23 minutes along the road through the hills (and I can get there in 49 minutes on the bicycle, but it's a good place to relax.

We'll then leisurely drive through Blewitt Springs on the way to the Maglieri winery in McLaren Vale. Pick up a bottle of Shiraz to go with the lasagna I've already made for dinner Saturday night. Also lots of pics will be taken of Maglieri. I plan on doing a photo tour of it for you, especially for http://twitter.com/#!/WarpdElfAtYrSvc since I'm the one who turned her onto the Maglieri wines and she has to special order them as she's in the US.

Then into the heart of McLaren Vale to pick up some goodies for lunch (at the Myponga reservoir lookout) at The Almond and Olive Train

Across to the coast for Aldinga then south to Sellick's Beach. Stopping for pics anywhere along the way we want to!

Down to Myponga Reservoir for lunch, a drive over the damn, then down to Carrickalinga and then a quick jaunt to Normanville. Should be around 4 PM at this point. We're staying at the Jetty Caravan Park right on the beach in one of their cabins. Drop stuff off then head down past Rapid Bay and Cape Jervis. Never been all the way down to the Cape. Not much there but it's the ferry terminal for Kangaroo Island (next trip). Back up to Normanville, wine, dinner on the beach, hopefully get some great sunset pics.

I'll skip the evening entertainment and leave that to your fertile imaginations.

Brekkie of sausage and eggs Sun morn. Outta Normanville by 9 or so. Head to Victor Harbour via Inman Valley (get some fresh apples there -- it's all orchard country). We've done Victor Harbour enough times that we won't stay long there, but I'll get some pics of the horse drawn tram that goes to Granite Island for ya. Head to Goolwa and Hindmarsh island, gonna see how many of the barrages that link the inner islands together are open. Hopefully good pics. Looking out for water birds in the wetlands. Head up to Milang via Currency Creek and pick up a bottle at the winery there for after dinner at Milang. Get to Milang around 2 PM.

Milang is a wonderful, sleepy, quiet little town on Lake Alexandrina. We've stayed there before. Once we check in we'll have the rest of the arvo to wander through the wetlands and get some awesomely great pics for you. And we'll hit The Railway Cafe. They are only open on the weekends and they serve a wonderful Devonshire Cream Tea.

Dinner at the Pier Hotel in Milang. It's supposed to be a hidden gem of a restaurant on the Fleurieu. If the night is clear we'll be star-gazing (ZERO light pollution down there!). And since it faces East over the Lake we'll get sunrise pics the next morning.

Monday brekkie is eggs and sausage again, no huge hurry to leave but probably heading out of Milang around 10 or 11 AM.

Head north to Strath via Langhorne. A stop in Strathalbyn at the main park for tea. Hopefully many great parrot pics from there. Little Corellas nest there by the thousands.

Continue north to Mt Barker (it's getting too big, no reason to stop) and to Hahndorf as I need a new hat from a special leather/hat store, only found in Hahndorf. Grab some fresh produce at the market there, then back to Sturt via Stirling and Upper Sturt.

Hopefully back at the ole homestead in Sturt around 5 pm Monday. Chinese takeout plus fresh veggies for dinner.

How's that sound for a trip?

And the car just got serviced, plus a bunch of work done. We're SET!

Outta here in 1 hour and 40 mins.

The Butt of All Jokes

2011-03-07T10:24:00.002+10:30

I really did mean to get these monarch butterfly pics up for you, butt recent circumstances did knot allow me to.

Butt I'll explain that later. And you get another story of Unkie Dave hurting himself. Butt this is NOT from his youth, this is a story from his oldeth instead.

Butt first, how's abouts some monarch butterfly pics?

The Adelaide Hills has a very stable population of monarch butterflies, and when they are migrating through the Hills you can see loads of them. A few weeks ago this just happened to be one of those days. And Wifey-Poo had her new camera! Her new one is a FujiFine Pix HS10. It has a 30 to 1 OPTICAL zoom! And twice the dpi as our ole S6500fd (which I was using)

Needless to say, we both got some pretty darned good butterfly pics that day!

Here are some of mine first. Enjoy!

This pair had just landed and were folding up their wings to get ready to feast on pollen.

Same pair, slurping away with wings folded.

Same pair. Most of them folded their wings up whilst slurping nectar.

I finally found one bloke (yes, this one is a male) that left his wings open whilst feeding!

And then there's the best pic I was able to get of him!

You are now about to see the difference when you double the dpi and triple the zoom. BTW, Wifey-Poo's new camera goes from taking supermacro to taking 720 mm zoom shots without changing lenses.

She was still learning the colour balance and all the nifty controls, but the detail is just amazing!

We both took pics of the bloke who left his wings out whilst feeding. Just compare the detail!

This one is cool since you can see his tongue!

Butt that's enough of butterflies!

Let's move on to the next subject, ME!

Story time! Yes, I know it's been a long time since you've heard a story about your Unkie Dave hurting himself, butt let's just end that right now! I'm sure you all recall the time I left my face on the pavement (6 yrs old), broke leg in scissors swing thingy (5 yrs old), broke arm 10 yrs old, left 10 foot long bloody skidmark on pavement from summer roller-skiing accident at 15 yrs old, did a faceplant... oh, HECK! I'm sure you get the idea! I had a fun childhood.

Growing up wild? Yeah, that sounds about right. Nearly smashing my eyesocket with the back of my hatchet? Yup, that'd be me mate. I should write a book titled Growing Up Wild.

Anyways, I tell you this cuz not only are all those stories in my blog archives *cough cough*, butt also to tell you I know a wee little bit about pain.

As in the pain difference betwixt a sprained ankle and a broken ankle. The pain of multiple broken bones as opposed to a cracked rib or three.

I tells ya mates, when my skeleton is dug up and examined by future archaeologists they are gonna think I was tortured from 4 yrs old to 45 yrs old. Nope, I just had fun.

Butt two and a half weeks ago I was not having fun.

Oh sure, I was cleaning the pool (which is always fun as it means I'll be jumping in) butt it wasn't exactly what you call "fun" as in the "fun" of creek climbing. BTW, the creek climbing story is in the archives, just have a squizz through some of my early posts.

I was standing on the edge of the pool. The edges of the pool are very hard tiles over concrete. The edges are also a crisp, clean, 90 degree edge.

As I was finishing vacuuming the shallow end of the pool, the end of the pole became slightly tangled in the vines that grow over, through, and around the fence.

Here's a pic of the offending vines:

Here, lemme just scribble all over the pic so it'll make scents to y'allns!

I'm totally sure that explains everything!

Back to the story. When the top end of the vacuuming pole caught in the vines, my first, and natural, reaction was to pivot to my right, reach out with my right arm and free the pole.

Sounds simple, right?

Ha!

You have to remember that I although I am rather strong (smelling) I do have to take care of how I move and lift due to my back. Don't ask, long story mate.

So as I pivoted on my right foot whilst reaching to the right with my right hand and holding onto the pole with my left hand, my left foot decided that if it pivoted whilst remaining stationary that my back would be not very happy.

Hence, at that point, my left foot decided to step forward in order not to piss off my lower back too much. There was, needless to say, a slight problem with that particular maneuver: a step forward was a step into the pool.

Don't get me wrong here, I'm NOT a klutz. Besides, if my batteries would've been fully charged then I'dve just walked across the water. Alas, I neglected to plug myself in the previous week as I did not anticipate any walking on water in my near future.

So my foot started to sink rather rapidly.

You know how when you are falling there is always the quite natural, instinctual reaction to try to arrest the fall? As in, you try to bloody-well catch yourself mate! Butt if I had been thinking (HA!) then I'm sure I would've just gone with the fall and went splat into the pool. Well, DUH!

Butt no, instincts took over and my body tried to arrest the fall well before my brain had a chance to engage (it was in idle, so it's excused).

What happened is that I tried to grab onto the pole with my right hand, my right foot slipped to the right (I'm glad I'm flexible as I did the "splits" without warming up) as my left butt cheek landed directly on the REALLY FUCKING HARD edge of the pool. Oh, and somewhere my left hand tried to cushion the fall and jammed it's own wrist -stupid left hand.

After my left butt cheek landed SOLIDLY on the edge, the rest of my body slowly slithered into the pool. The whole operation took about 0.001 seconds, butt it felt like an eternity.

My first thought was "Well, didn't need that tailbone anyways." Butt then the shaking set in. Then the nausea set in. Then my legs didn't really feel like working.

Yeah, I kinda knew something was wrong. Perhaps the nausea inducing pain from my left glute MAY have had something to do with it. Maybe.

About ten minutes later I was able to gather the strength to extricate myself from the shallow end of the pool which happens to a whole whopping 2 feet deep. I slowly made my way up the two steps to the pool door and whimpered my way into the kitchen to puke into the sink.

Since Wifey-Poo and BIL were in the kitchen at the time I do believe they figured out rather quickly that something was, shall we say, wrong. I threw up in the sink, then told then what happened.

I gotta tell y'all something. If you want some serious sympathy then you may want to consider cracking your pelvis and getting your glute muscle torn and separated from the bone. Oh sure, you'll be in a lot of pain, eating ibuprofen by the handful, icing your butt with multiple ice packs, and generally being miserable. Butt dang I tells ya mates: Serious Sympathy!

Of course after you've been laying on one side all day which causes your previously compressed lower back disks to go wonky you may not be too happy. That's why I recommend sending your BIL to the bottle shop for a case or four of tequila. And keep it in your bedroom!

As many of you have been following this blog for yonks now, you may have come to realize that I have left my scents of embarrassment long behind me. Therefore it really shouldn't surprise you that I have taken daily pictures of My Butt Bruise!

And I'm sure you're all just dying to see them! Ha. No, I didn't take them in ultra-high fidelity like the BUTTerfly pics. In facts, these were all taken in low light in a mirror. And I shrunk them waaaaaaay down.

And since they were taken by Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human) in a mirror you'll notice the pictures are "mirrored". Trust me when I say that it's my LEFT butt cheek that has the bruise and broken parts.

I therefore do not think there is any reason why you all won't just LOVE to see this really awesomely cool bruise throughout a 12 day period. It kinda looks like I chased a rainbow butt the rainbow smacked me on the ass. Either that or the leprechaun has a really warped scents of humour.

Butt if you are easily offended (yeah, like any of my readers are!) then you may knot want to scroll down any farther. Oh, I've already shared these pics on twitter. One person said they've never seen a bruise like that outside of an emergency room! So weather or knot you view these pictures, please keep in mind that my bruised, naked, butt is already world famoose.

Without any further ado...

Here is the Butt Bruise Pic Day 1!

What comes after Day 1? Why, day 2 of course!:

Day 3 usually follows day 2:

Day 4:

Day 5 follows day 4:

I neglected to take a day 6 pic. I think the codeine didn't let me wake up. So here's Day 7:

Let's zip to Day 9! The dark line is from the impact (it hurts a bit):

Getting some really cool rainbow colors now!

Butt some things always fade away... Day 12:

Lastly, since you've read this far, I feel safe in telling you that I'm so very glad I'm right handed because I couldn't even begin to imagine the agony if I tried to wipe with my left hand!

Back From The Abyss!

2011-01-28T10:49:00.003+10:30

Well, no not really. I didn't go anywhere. I didn't do anything.

"So why the bloody-hell din't ya post anythin' ya lousy wanka?" Yes, I heard you say that. From all the way down here too, also.

Why not? I always try to post something funny, or humorous, or punny so as to give all my readers some enjoyable entertainment and perchance a giggle or two. And just maybe an opportunity to forget about all the crap going on around us all.

Unfortunately, my phunny bone hasn't been very ticklish lately. Heck, Wifey-Poo will tell you that I'm not ticklish at all so the phunny bone not being tickled should come as no surprise.

See, lately every time I've sat my lazy ass down to type in a blog post, it seems like I've been forcing the humour. And I'm sure you can all relate to just how painful it can be when you try to force out a large blockage!

I do believe I've found a nice, natural, re-laxative. We'll see just what and how much of it hits the fan!

Basically, I'll be typing in whatever I want, putting up whatever pictures I want to with whatever caption I feel like putting on them. So, yeah, not much has changed, eh?

Befour you get to the pictures though, I'd like to share with you a brief conversation I had with Wifey-Poo as I can't remember the long ones.

As always, YT is Yours Truly -don't swoon ladies, I'm human! WP is of course Wifey-Poo -otherwise known as the most wonderful woman in the entire world since she puts up with Yours Truly.

*YT walks in from the cooker outside, and it's nearing dinnertime*

YT: Honey!

WP: Yes dear? *oh crap can't I get ANY writing done without his stupid interruptions?*

YT: How steamed would you like your cabbage? Just a bit steamed or really really pissed off?

WP: Just a bit, thanks. *Is there something heavy nearby I can throw at him?*

Now that you've read all through my above tripe (mmmmmmmm, menudo soup... delish), how's abouts some pics?

The first one is of me. Does that surprise you? It's a self-portrait pic I took of meself with NO mirrors and I wasn't holding the camera out in front of me pointing it at me.

So, no mirrors (or smoke) and the camera is pointing away from me yet I still managed to get a self portrait! And no, there wasn't any reflective surface nearby.

How'd I do it?

Any guesses?

H
e
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e

i
s

t
h
e

A
N
S
W
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I realize many of you up north may not have figured out how I did it since y'all probably ain't seen your shadow since winter started... Ahem.

Sew to help brighten a cold, dark, windy, snowy, dreary winter for all my Northern Hemisphere readers, I present to you the following picture. It was taken on Australia Day (January 26th).

I was cleaning out the webs around the front of the house the other day, and I spied a really really neat critter. No, you don't need to run away screaming and all like that! Sillies. This is NOT a picture of a spider.

But it is a picture of a critter that has an exoskeleton.

And is very pretty.

And was clinging upside down under the eaves out front.

Ain't she the purdiest thing y'all ever saw?

I tried to get a few front on views, but she was getting pretty skittish and I didn't want to "bug" her. But I did get this one though.

Well (and that's a deep subject), that's all I have for you today kiddies. Don't worry though, you won't have to wait another month for a post from moi, no worries!

2011 Tour Down Under may be canceled

2010-12-30T09:05:00.003+10:30

Adelaide, South Oz (via dave's fake news service): The race director of Adelaide's Tour Down Under has just made a startling announcement. There is a very real possibility that the 2010 Tour Down Under in January could be canceled due to weather.

"As many of you are aware, Adelaide has not had our usual, summery, oven-style heat this November and December," stated Mike Tartarsauce, race director for the TDU. "Seriously, visitors and riders from around the world come down here to challenge themselves in the heat in January. If we can't provide the proper furnance-like temperatures then why would any of them show up?"

"We need at least 3 weeks of 40 C and above to pump some heat into the region and hope for 45's during the race, otherwise we may just have to cancel," continued Tartarsauce. "I even tried talking to a local tribal elder about the possibility of human sacrifice to appease their weather gods. Unfortunately he walked away muttering something about 'crazy white fella'."

The reaction from teams and riders has been swift upon hearing the news.

Lance Armstrong "I live to suffer. I suffer better than anyone. It's how I won 7 TDF's, by suffering better than all the other riders. This will be my 3rd TDU and if I can't suffer in blast furnace heat for a week then I'm not sure what I'll do. Maybe just stay in the hotel and flog myself."

Anna Hanson "Tee-Hee, and I was so looking forward to seeing Vienna with Lancey-poo."

Andre Greipel "Ya, da heet. I love eet! Da pansy-boys wilt in da heet as I stomp all ohvar dem. Vat? No heet? How vill I beet da pansy Manxman?"

Stewy O'Grady's "It's been rough mate. I had to wear leggings, jacket, and booties this morning. And that was just to light the fire! No way am I going out riding in that cold weather."

Robbie McEwen "Bloody hell, this is worse than a Belgium spring."

Tom Boonan "Good! I fucking wasn't planning on being down there fucking anyways. Besides, the fuckers down there would actually arrest me if I wrapped my fucking ferrari around a fucking street sign."

Mark Cavendish "Where is that place again? Doesn't matter to me as long as I get to kick some big German's ass."

Alby "As you know mate, I've been in every TDU. I'm proud of it but seriously thinking of not giving it a go this time around. Too bloody cold mate!"

Vincent Lavenu "Sacre Bleu! J'ai pris mon équipe ici chaque année pour durcir mes coureurs français. Que vais-je faire maintenant, les emmener à Sri Lanka?"

ASO "Nous avons essayé de dire McQuaid vieux que cela pourrait se produire par lui tente de mondialiser le vélo, mais at-il de nous écouter? Non!"

Jose Luis Arrieta "Si a mí ya mi equipo no puede pasar el rato en la playa y recoger todos los rubios, bronceados, chicas bikini australiano, entonces no vamos!"

UPDATE

It appears that the local weather gods MAY have taken pity after hearing the crying and whinging from Mr. Tartarsauce as Dec 31th is forecast to reach 43 C in the shade. The South Oz cycling community has breathed a huge sigh of relief!

The Day After Christmas: Chainsaw Day!

2010-12-26T08:07:00.002+10:30

Yes folks, it is that time of year again! It's the Day after Christmas! And y'all should know by now what that means...

No, the the big Boxing Day Test Match betwixt the Poms and the Crims.

No, not the start of the Sydney To Hobart yacht race.

It's...

Chainsaw Day!

Yes, that time of the year when the Grinch finally WINS! Don't you just hate it that the ole Grinchie always, without fail, wusses out at the end? I expected better of the Grinch in the Jim Carrey version, buuuuut noooooo. He wussed out in that version too.

But he did get the buxom, rich, long-legged babe in the end (of the movie, not the other end you perverts!), Martha May. So perhaps there's hope for all us hairy, middle-aged, beer-gutted, crusty old farts everywhere --don't swoon ladies, I'm human.

Fortunately, I'm not one of them as I already lucked out with Wifey-Poo!

Butt what the movies nor story don't tell is just what happened the day AFTER Christmas. Being down in Oz means that I'm a day ahead of all my "friends" in North America. So therefore I KNOW what happens the day after Christmas while it's still Christmas.

Not being a very talented writer (butt you already knew that), I have, of course, as usual, quite naturally decided, instinctualtively, to let Wifey-Poo tell (type) you all about what happened the day after Christmas so you won't be shocked tomorrow (yours, not mine as it's already tomorrow hear) upon hereing the news from Mount Crumpit.

Remember gentle readers, do not blame me for this as Wifey-Poo wrote it. Blame her. Bring your own pitchforks and torches as I'm fresh out from the last riot I started.

As always, I paste in the previous preamble from previous years gone by.

*start here*

2009 preambulation

Yes, it's that time of year again. The time of year when I post my first post after Christmas! Longtime readers and lurkers and stalkers know just what this means. *insert evil grin here*

For not only does the Grinch FINALLY get to win, but you also get a brief glimpse into the mind of Wifey-Poo. You'll all know why I married her after you read the whole post. BTW, it took her all of about 20 minutes to write the verse from scratch --she is a professional writer, dontcha know *wink*.

Sooooooo, here the post I put up a year ago. And the year before that. And the year before that, too, also.

------------------------------------------------

2008 Preambulatory

This poem was written by WP two years ago, I take zero credit for it.

This is told with the absolute greatest respect for Dr. Suess, BTW.

But... just what would've happened HAD the Grinch won?

Here's the original post I put up two years ago today:

2006 Prebulation

Some of you may (or may not) have surmised that I am a BIG fan of the Grinch --ok, if you weren't hanging out with me in Squarebanks during the holidays yonks ago then you wouldn't know this, so TOUGH!

Anyways, every time I've watched the original Grinch cartoon (circa 1963) I've always hoped that maybe, just once, the Grinch would WIN. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the holidays and I love getting folks presents that are quite unexpected... But really now! Can't the Grinch win just ONCE????

DISCLAIMER: when Dr Suess passed away, we held a wake for him in our favorite pub in Squarebanks; so there! I'm not a Grinch (shhh, don't tell my dad, he'll be so embarrassed!)

So, like... what would it be like if the Grinch were to actually win?

The following is best read using Boris Karloff's voice in your head:

Oh, wait a sec: if you want to link or re-post this, then you've really, really, really, got to make sure you tell folks where it came from:

This Is An Alaskan Dave Down Under Original Poem! Please accept no substitutes! Ok, I lie... my wife wrote it... (really!)

Now you can turn on your Boris Karloff voice in your head:

The Night after Christmas

Twas the night after Christmas and Whoville was rocking
With the kind of wild party that brings people flocking.
The noise and the booze, all the singing and dancing ...
The racket and rumpus, the shmoozing and prancing ...
Would drive to the point of starting a riot
Any poor fellow who just fancied quiet.
And you already know who was sane by an inch:
Poised on the brink was the poor old green Grinch.

By nine in the morning even Max was vibrating
With the jackhammer jollity; it’s not overstating
That not even Max could endure so much ‘cheer,’
No matter how snockered one became on Who beer.
And by two in the P.M., oh, Maxie was worried,
For the Grinch looked so manic; the beast who’d been buried
Beneath fudge and tinsel, and the charm of a child
Had clawed back to the surface ... and my, he was wild!

All the popping and bopping, the preening and prancing,
The swinging and zinging, and -- oh, the break-dancing!
Were more than the Grinch could guess how to endure ...
And then, all at once, he envisioned a cure,
For there by the Christmas tree, flat on the floor,
Was one lonely present. A forgotten chainsaw.
And the Grinch had no sooner set eyes on that tool
Then he said to himself, “Grinchie, you’ll been such a fool,
To think you could bear all this ruckus and humbug,
This rumpus and dumpus, this scampus and scumbug,
This noise, noise, noise, noise, that these Whofolk call ‘fun,’
While the stores are all closed and you can’t buy a gun --
There isn’t a fowling piece (nor even a pheasant),
But one of these idiots forgot his best present!”
For under the Christmas tree, left on the floor,
Wrapped up in red ribbons lay a brand new chainsaw:

All shiny and sharpy, all toothy and jagged --
Just begging for gasoline! So, out the Grinch swaggered
With a light, empty gascan and a bag full of quarters,
To the gas station downtown, with a brain full of slaughters ...
There wouldn’t be any Who left to make noise!
They’d be peacefully absent, the Who girls and boys.
The Who-guys and ladies would be quiet as the snow --
And Cindy-Lou Who’d be the first one to go.

For the Grinch could envisage the headlines tomorrow,
When no Who in Whoville survived to feel sorrow --
Here was a task to which the Grinch felt quite equal
(And MGM’s already contracted the sequel):
GRINCH II: WHOVILLE CHAINSAW MASSACRE.

The Masses Have Spoken!

2010-12-16T15:02:00.002+10:30

And it was much more of a whisper from two very nice ladies than the voter turnout I was hoping for. But hey, no worries mates. I tolds ya I'd make up me own Holiday Feast Menu if I needs ta.

And food is one thing I's guud at. Along with the shoppin', plannin', cookin', and such like.

Beefour you get to read the menu, I thawt I'd tells ya a few things dat I's tankful fer.

A walk-in pantry.

2 refrigerators.

3 freezers.

Gas stove top.

Gas oven.

6 burner outdoor barby with a 7th side burner.

Ok, I think that sorta just about covers it. Well, foodwise it does.

Onto The Holiday Feast Menu of 2010/2011!

We'll be starting on the summer solstice of December 21th. That'd be the winter solstice for my non-Southern hemisphere readers and it'd be December 20th since we're a day ahead of you. So there.

It will last till January 5th, that'd be Twelfth Night, BTW.

Why? Why not?

And as a bonus for you I've sorta kinda like halfway grouped the dishes into various categories. Sorta. Kinda. Like.

You may also notice there aren't enough main courses to get us thru 17 days. Nor are there enuff side dishes. Plenty of dessert though! The lack of enugh mains is because of the magic of "Leftovers". If I was on Iron Chef and the theme ingredient was "Leftovers" I would seriously kick some serious butt. Seriously.

And side dishes seem to take care of themselves so I didn't feel the need to right down every single one, just some of the special ones.

So pull up a chair and bring your appetite cus here, we, go!

Mains (not an exhaustive list of course)
Polynesian Pork Ribs
Roast Chook
Various Sushi Platters
Grilled Basa Fillets
Banana Leaf-Wrapped Marinated Pork Shoulder
Homemade Pizzas (great way to take care of leftovers)
Mexican Feast (leftover pork shreds great!)
Maple Syrup & Pineapple Glazed Ham
Numerous cold platters
Beer n Brats

A few of the planned side dishes
Candied Sweet Potatoes
Char-grilled Eggplant
Green Beans n Red Bell Peppers in Peanut Sauce
Potato Salad --both hot and cold varieties
Herbed, Baked Potato Pieces
Lots of green salads
Marinated Onion n Cucumber Salad
Homemade Teriyaki Beef Jerky
Toasted Chilli n Garlic Almonds n Peanuts
Nacho Platters (DUH!)
Various Cheeses, Feta, Camenbert, Bleu, etc
Dolmades

Dips
Hummus
Miti
Guacamole
Lots of different gravies
Tzatziki
Hot Fudge Sauce

Desserts!
Satan's Trifle --h/t to Michelle for the name of the dish
Frozen Peanut Butter Cheesecake with Hot Fudge Sauce
Champagne and Strawberries with choc sauce for dipping
Devonshire Cream Tea
2 or 3 loaves of Cinnamon Bread
Pineapple Pie
Waldorf Salad (me mum's secret recipe)
Pineapple Sherbet
Banana Tarts
Pineapple Dip/Topping
Highland Oatcakes
Shortbread
Irish Whiskey Fruitcake
Christmas Pudding
Pineapple-Coconut Pie with Meringue Topping

Booze
Homebrews (Got a few cases of different varieties ready!)
Father O'Learys Velvet Cream (like Baileys but better)
Red Wines
White Wines
Champagne
Cream Port

I think it'll be a very nice feast this holiday season. What are your thoughts?

Your Vote Counts!

2010-12-06T12:23:00.003+10:30

And just why does your vote count here at this ole blog? Cus you dear reader get to vote on what this year's Holiday Feast! Why is there a Holiday Feast at the ole hamstead down unda? Read on... read. on.

This here whole tradition goes back to when I first arrived in Adelaide. Firstly, you knead to know there is no Tryptophan Overdose Day down here. That means no Thanksgiving. So I decided that I'd whip up a nice Holiday Feast. And I'd do it with fairly non-traditional foods that my Aussie (formerly border-country english) in-laws wouldn't know how to cook or eat.

It has since grown. I now include some very traditional Holiday foods.

Why do I call it The Holiday Feast instead of Christmas dinner? Because this lasts two weeks. Why two weeks? Cus it starts on the summer solstice of December twenty-oneth and goes for two weeks till January threeth or fourth. Or whenever we are too full to eat.

Down here betwixt Christmas and New Years there's really only one day of work, and not that much gets done then anyways. Why is that? Getcher calender out and I'll 'splain it to ya.

25th is a Saturday this year, 24th friday. Now no one really wants to work Christmas Eve so last real day of work is the 23rd. But since that's full of office parties and the like let's count that as holiday too. That leaves Dec 22nd. But since solstice in the 21st, how's about we just start the festivities then? After all. South Oz is known internationally as The Festival State.

Boxing day (26th) is a Sunday. The Official Christmas day holiday is Monday the 27th, so the Official Boxing Day holiday is Tues the 28th. Dec 28th is also Proclamation Day for South Oz. Boxing Day is also the start of the Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race, so not much to be done till at least the 29th. Boxing day also starts the Boxing Day Test Match (cricket) which goes on for 5 days. New Year's Day is Saturday, with New Year's Eve being Friday. Since no one works New Year's Eve, then Dec 29th and 30th would be the only two days of work. Screw that, there's a yacht race and a Test match on, why should Adelaide work? Then Monday the 3rd is the Official New Year's Day holiday and if you're lucky enough you'll be in a place that also celebrates The Day After New Year as a holiday.

All in all, you gots nothing to do betwixt Dec 21th and January 4th. So why not cook, eat, watch cricket, watch a boat race, lay on the beach, drink lotsa beer, and gain 15 pounds?

What I'm going to do here is paste the Holiday Feast from years gone by. That'd be 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009. You'll notice there are some dishes that appear throughout and these dishes will be cooked. And also my extra special Frozen Peanut Butter Cheesecake with Hot Fudge Sauce will be made. Otherwise I'll be sleeping on the couch all of 2011.

So vote in the comments for the dishes you'd like. Vote for as many dishes as you'd like, or as few as you'd like, no worries. If there aren't too many folks voting then I'll call the vote an abstention and make whatever the heck I want from the lists. But if LOTS of you vote then I'll go with what y'all vote for. Including the "always to be made" stuff.

Ok, here we go!

WAIT! How's about a picture of a sleeping koala first?

And followed up with a sushi platter:

Alrighty then! Let's have a squizz at the previous menus!

2006 Holiday Feast blog post:

Saturday, November 25, 2006
Guy Fawkes Down Unda!
Ha! Didn't that title fool y'all? I'll bet right now everyone in the US is busy googling the name Guy Fawkes. What? You're not? Damn, oh well... I guess I'll fill ya in.

In 1605 AD (Before Dave--The "A" is just a typo) a bloke named Guy Fawkes was arrested for trying to blow up the English Parliament on Nov 5th, 1605, BD. He didn't succeed, but there is a sort of unofficial holiday for either "Guy Fawkes Night" or "Bonfire Night".

So, now you know... But why/how do I know this? Cus the Most Wonderful Woman In The World (my wifey-poo) was born the day before on the 4th of Nov --yes, she is now 401 years old but doesn't look a day over 250. It just MIGHT have something to do with me being able to see in the dark and those two little scars on my neck that don't heal... Feral yellow eyes at night, geesh, doesn't everyone have those?

"Dave, just tell us the 'supposed' relevance of Guy Fawkes and today's post, thank you." Ah! I heard you think that.

Burning down Parliament requires fire. A by-product of fire is ashes. The Ashes Test Series is going on right now down unda (that's aussie pronunciation of 'under'). The Poms are going down in FLAMES!

Now do you get it???

I can take solace in the fact that in the previous Ashes up in the Old Country the Poms got the sh*t kicked outta them in the first test, then battled back and won the Ashes for the first time in yonks. Go POMS!

Since 99.99% of my readers are in the USA, I figure this has been a great lesson in what's happening in the rest of the world, eh?

No story today but I will share with you my Yuletide and New Year Holiday menu with you. In fact, each post from now till the 22nd of Dec, BD (I'll be busy cooking after that) will have a recipe from the menu.

So, without further intellectual wanking from yours truly (that means I'll shut me trap), here's the menu for my Holiday Feast:

Remember: a recipe from something of the menu follows, so read on:

This is in no particular order, I've still got to organise it on a day to day basis. Oh, everything is homemade from scratch.

Holiday food:

Panforte (type of a christmas cake)

Polynesian Lamb Spare Ribs

Cinnamon bread (2 or 3 loaves)

4,5 or 6 loaves homemade white bread

Polynesian Ham

Pineapple Pie

Pineapple Sherbet

Pineapple Topping --for the ice cream

Banana Jam --for the ice cream

Homemade Ice Cream --for the above toppings to cover

Charlotte Rouse

Pineapple-Coconut Pie

Miti

Roast Chook

Roast Pork Leg --persian style seasonings

Lots of Stuffing

Candied Sweet Potatoes

5 types of Gravy

Guacamole dip

Chunky Mild Salsa

Hot Smooth Salsa

Apricot Cobbler (at least 2)

Herbed Potatoes --oven roasted

Sushi Platter --6 or 7 varieties

Dolmades

Herbed, Buttered, Pumpkins Chunks

Waldorf Salad

Potato(e) Salad

Beef Roast --seasoned with either egyptian or morrocan herbs

Advokaat Cheesecake --Advokaat is a liquer made from brandy and egg yolks

Baked Cheesecake --either strawberry or blueberry, freshly picked

Tzatziki dip

Homemade Corn Chips

Homemade Potato(e) Chips

Green Beans and Red Capsicums (bell pepper) with bacon and nuts

Champagne with strawberries

Garden Greens Salad

Marinated Onion and Cucumber Salad

Champagne (case)

Sherry -one bottle for cooking

Beer (2 cases variety of types)

Red Wine (one cask)

White Wine (one cask)

Tequila, White Curacuao (triple sec), lime juice --for margaritas

Sake (1 or 2 bottles)

Advokaat (one bottle)

Brandy (1 or 2 bottles)

Aaaaannnnnnnnnddddddddd........ Today's recipe is....

MITI

Miti is a coconut dip from Fiji. The miti that I make is a variation from a traditional recipe tailored (or seamstressed) for ease of use of westerners. Oh, I have made it the traditional way, but it takes a while and (as you can tell from the menu) I'll need to shortcut where (wear) I can.

What you need:

1 cup (237 mls) dried coconut
1 tbsp (15 mls) fresh lemon juice (if you don't have a lemon tree out front then snag a lemon from the neighbors lemon tree)
1 fresh red chilli (chili) finely minced
1 small (small) onion, finely minced
1 1/4 cups (296.25 mls) boiling H2O (water)

What you do:

Chuck everything into a bowl. Let it sit for 2 to 4 hours. Strain the liquid into a bowl. Then take the leftover solids in your hand and SQUEEZE the heck out of them to extract the rest of the juice (do this over the strained liquid --you'll figure it out).

You can toss the SQUEEZED solids, or use them in a stir fry, or freeze em, or add em to rice while cooking the rice, hey: whatever.

The resulting liquid makes an awesome dip for dave's special homemade corn chips (stay tuned for that recipe).

Oh, you can use lime juice instead of lemon, they both work grate (great).

*****************************************************************************

Next up, the 2007 Holiday Feast blog post:

Saturday, December 22, 2007
THE Holiday Feast Down Unda

I'm a little late getting this years holiday feast typed in. In fact, we've already started on it --3 days ago! Some of you may notice it's a wee bit similar to last years feast; that's cus we've got many favorite recipes. Also, I've some new ones, and some that are just too darned expensive.

This is in NO particular order, but it'll feed four adults for two weeks. Oh, we're having a pool party and barbeque on the 28th, so the 4 or 5 kilos of snags are for the sausage sizzle.

Unless otherwise noted, everything is homemade by yours truly, or adapted (by yours truly) from recipe book --of which I have LOTS.

If'n any of you'd like a recipe for any of the following, just let me know via a comment, no worries.

Highland oat cakes

Shortbread

Peanut butter cheesecake with hot fudge sauce

Polynesian pork spare ribs

Pineapple pie

Cinnamon raisin bread

Polynesian ham

Pineapple sherbet

Chocolate mint ice cream with choc chips

Banana jam

Pineapple-Coconut pie

Miti (it's a dip)

Charlotte rouse

Banana leaf wrapped pork roast

Roast chook (at least 2 of em)

Candied yams

3 apricot cobblers (had one of em last night)

3 kinds of stuffing

4 types of gravy

3 types of salsa

Guacamole

5 kilos of sausages (for the bbq pool party)

2 kilos onions (for the above sausages)

Herbed spuds on the grill

My special homemade Dolmades

Waldorf salad

Tzatziki dip

One of my special sushi platters

Maple syrup candied pork roast

Corn chips and potato chips fresh made

Green beans and red capsicums with bacon and peanut sauce

Champagne with strawberries

Buttered roasted pumpkin pieces

2 cases beer

2 casks red wine

1 cask white wine

spicy marinated onions

Tequila, triple sec, and lime juice (mum-in-law has requested my special margaritas)

1 bottle brandy

1 bottle Father O'Learys Irish Cream

1.5 liters bourbon and coke

1 bottle dry cider

1 bottle sweet cider

Hot fudge sauce

Fudge brownies

Mince pies (lots)

Banana tarts

1 homemade bottle of chilli pepper and honey mead (I'll be the only one having that)

I think that should pretty much cover it. Remember, if you want a specific recipe then just ask.

****************************************************************************

We follow that with the 2008 Holiday Feast Post:

Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Yes, it's that time of year again. Christmas and New Year! Gotta start planning for it early, doncha know.

It appears that summer may actually have arrived early this year, it's 95 F in the shade and 134 F in the sun. The pool in at 80 F. Tomorrow is actually supposed to be warm, so fingers crossed that I can take off the flannel shirt and bunny boots soon.

This years' menu will be forthcoming, but first...

You know how they say a picture is worth a thousand words? Yeah, that means I'll shut up...

Before I begin typing in this years menu, let me tell you that this is to feed the brood from dec 23rd to Jan 3rd. Yes, life pretty much comes to a halt for 2 weeks down unda.

Now, I still haven't decided what's gonna be served on which day, and there'll be a couple of days of leftovers spaced throughout. I also reserve the right to add any menu item I want to. Hmmmph!

Please note, with the exception of the Christmas fruitcakes and the puddings that have been in the pantry for 6 years, pretty much everything is made from scratch. No, I don't go out and milk the cow's for the cream... you know what I mean!

At this point there is no particular order, or rhyme or reason to anything; I'm just jotting down the stuff that I plan to prepare.

Holiday Feast 2008/2009 Menu

Peanut Butter Cheesecake with hot fudge sauce (does this surprise you?)

2 Christmas fruitcakes

2 Roast chooks with all the fixin's --that includes stuffing, gravy, spuds, etc

Dave's Polynesian Pork Roast --yes, it's wrapped in banana leaves and slow roasted

Souvlaki chicken with tabouli and tzatziki

BBQ Roo burgers

Teriyaki Roo burgers

Dave's extra special chips

Homemade pizza

Grilled Basa fillets

Homemade crumpets and cream

Charlotte Rouse (you'll love it, I'll put up pics of the process)

Potato Salad

Coleslaw

Candied Sweet Potato with marshmallow and cherry topping

Waldorf salad --with mom's special dressing

Herbed, baked spuds

Pineapple glazed ham

Herbed, baked pumpkin

Roasted pumpkin seeds

Mexican buffet with all the fixin's (let your imagination run wild on this)

At least 2 sushi platters

Various chocolates

Hummus

Many salsas

Banana jam

Pineapple sherbet

Pineapple topping

Pineapple tarts

Pineapple Coconut pie

Pineapple meringue pie

Chocolate mint Chocolate chip ice cream made with fresh choc mint from the garden

2 Xmas puddings

Fresh plate of homemade dolmades

Pitcher (or 4) of margaritas

case of Cascade's

case of Boag's

Strawberries and cream

Champagne and strawberries

A few cases of vino

Apples and bleu cheese

some champagne

Devonshire Cream Tea --made from homemade scones, fresh whipped cream, and fresh picked strawberries.

I'm sure I've left something out, but you kinda get the idea... If I don't gain 15 pounds this year then I'll consider this holiday wasted!

Oi mate! What about the sunflower seeds?

*******************************************************************

And finally here is the 2009 Holiday Feast:

Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Holiday Feast 2009 --Keeping It Simple *UPDATED*

Yes, this year I've been told to keep Dave's Annual Super-Awesome Holiday Feast down to a more, shall we say, reasonable level than in years' gone by.

So to help with that, I've started making tofu.

Yes, tofu.

Turns out it's very quick and easy to make! Very cheap too AND you get a big batch of okara leftover to make things like fake burgers, fake roasts, fake pork, fake roast chook... well, you get the idea.

And then there's all the neat things you can do with tofu! Marinate it, smoke it, grill it, stuff it, feed it to someone you don't like... See? There's so much you can do with just some plain soy beans and magnesium chloride!

In fact, I have decided that this years' feast will be meat free and all the meat dishes will be made with my own homemade tofu!

Bullshit.

But I have started making tofu. It will, however, of course, have practically NOTHING to do with any of the food this holiday season.

Many of you may be familiar with my previous menus, many of you may not. Just keep in mind that all but a few dishes on the menu are homemade. By me.

And the pots and pans are home cleaned. By me.

Yes, it's amazing what I go through, sigh...

Oh, if you want to learn how to make any of these, then just lemme know and hopefully one of these recipes will appear (like magic!) on my food blog.

And don't worry, there'll be a funny pic of dave at the end of all this, so please read. And keep in mind that this is meant to be spaced out over 3 weeks. And it's in no particular order. And no food is wasted.

And.

Here.

We.

GO!

holiday feast 2009

stout beer n brats w onions

homemade pizzas

peanut butter cheesecake w/ hot fudge sauce --I've been told if I don't make this each year then I'd better sleep with one eye open.

3 sushi platters

homemade chocolates

homemade tofu, marinated, smoked, grilled, etc.

roast chook w/ all the fixins

baked pumpkin

roasted pumpkin seeds --from the above pumpkin

toasted chilli n garlic almonds & peanuts

pork roast wrapped in banana leaves and slow roasted with polynesian
seasonings.

highland oat cakes

apples n bleu cheese

various homemade cheeses

1 xmas fruitcake

1 xmas pudding

pineapple & maple syrup glazed ham

candied sweet potatoes

fried worms

cinnamon raisin bread

many loaves of white and wholemeal bread

grilled basa fillets

many servings of my extra special chips (thick fries)

advokaat cheesecake

1 bottle of advokaat for above cheesecake

lots of homebrews; stout, lager, dark ale, regular ale, chilli beer, etc.

garden greens salads

marinated fish & onion & cucumber salad

4 kilos of sausage --if we have a pool party

onions for above sausage

1 apricot cobbler

mexican buffet with all the fixin's

champagne n strawberries

green beans n red capsicums w/ bacon & peanut sauce

panforte --awesomely great xmas cake

souvlaki chicken w/ tabouli & tzatziki

devonshire cream tea

pineapple sherbet

pineapple topping

pineapple tarts

pineapple coconut pie

banana jam

charlotte rouse

O'Leary's Irish Cream

brandy

cask of red wine

cask of white wine

shortbread

hot fudge sauce

waldorf salad

herbed, baked spuds

hummus

whipped cream stuffed crepes w/ dark chocolate sauce

*UPDATE!*

How could I forget my Polynesian Hibiscus Water?

*END UPDATE*

See? I've kept it simple this year! Harumph.

And now for a bit of foreshadowing...

I'm quite sure many questions leap to mind.

"Why is the ladder in the pool?"

"Does dave know about elektrikery and water?"

"Is there a happy ending? Cus I hate sad endings, but in dave's case I'll make an exception."

Why don't YOU come up with your own questions for the pictures and put it in the comments?

*****************************************************************************************

So, that's it! Loosen up your typing fingers and start typing! Use the comments vote for loads of goodies! Please, PLEASE vote for LOTS of stuff!!! I'll give y'all till Friday, December Tenth, and then I'm gonna start cookin'!

G'day All! And Happy Thanksgiving from Down Unda

2010-11-25T15:06:00.003+10:30

Turkey day is a holiday specific to US and Canada, but I really don't think the canucks go all out bonkers over it the way US'ns do. I've been asked by a few Aussies what Thanksgiving is all about and at first I did my best to explain how it all started. Ended up with puzzled looks from many an Aussie.

Nowadays I just say it's just another excuse for Americans to pig out and watch football!

Now that they can relate to! It's much like the way a cricket test match is just another excuse for Aussies to sit in the sun 5 days straight whilst drinking beer.

Anyways, in honor of Turkey Day you may have noticed that Alice's Restaurant Massacree playing in the sidebar. If you don't like it then tough shit. No, actually, feel free to pause it, no worries.

Have I used enough commas yet?

Quick aside before we gets back to me ramblings... How's abouts a picture?

Moth or butterfly? What's your guess?

Getting back (or front) to me --cuz it's all about ME! Is anyone the least bit curious why I hadn't posted since like maybe sorta since very early October? Anyone? Actually I think many of you are as many of you have sent me mean nasty emails and tweets telling me to get up off my lazy ass (your words, not mine) and post something. A few of you have even wondering aloud on your own blogs whether I'm dead or not. You know who you are and just make sure you're very careful next time you're out in the woods, jus' sayin'.

So... Why the break?

Last post I put up what I had thought was such an awesomely great picture of a momma and baby koala that I quite -rightly I obviously mistakenly- believed that I'd get many ooo's and ahhh's in the comments. A few days went by and no comments. Oh heck, I'll give the buggas till over the weekend, I thought.

A week went by, still nothing. But then a funny thing happened... my visitor numbers started going up. Like well over doubling! I then decided that once the numbers go back to normal (waving hi to all 3 of you! I joke of course. I'm not waving, I'm typing) I'll put up more stuff.

But the numbers haven't dropped. So by not posting anything for 52 days (but who's counting) I have effectively tripled my traffic! Woo-Hoo! Who knew laziness could do such wonders?

Then something went wrong. Apparently y'all have now had enough time to squizz through my archives that you now hunger for fresh babbling from Yours Truly --that'd be me, don't swoon ladies I'm human!

So you have now all shamed me into psoting. Truthfully though, all the "please post something dave" emails and tweets have been very flattering. So, just like any normal bloke, you just found out that flattery will get you anything you want with me. Unless Wifey-Poo is watching.

Did you know there's some folks out in the ether that think I'm funny? Whereas some of you know that I'm just funny looking.

Wait! Don't go yet. I've got some pictures and puzzles for you.

Can you find the koala?

And if you couldn't then you won't like knowing that my 80 yr MIL could find it from her wheelchair:

Once the little fella realized we weren't a threat, s/he went right back to doing what koalas do better than any critter on earth.

Seeing all them wild critters made me hungry later that day...

Try to guess what type of snags those are. Go on, GUESS!

When they was all cooked up they looked like this.

No, I won't show you a picture of what they looked like the next day...

Oh, just remembered something. A few of you have mentioned how much you like The Lord and Master of All He Surveys, Protector of The Weak, Defender of The Innocent, His Royal Highness, Prince Bagheera. BTW if I don't give him his full title each time then he shreds my legs.

Anyways, see if you can find The Cat:

Here's a closeup of him. Obviously he's all tuckered out today after chewing on my leg all night.

I suppose I could have also used the excuse of my ancient 6 yr old P4 finally dying, buying a new supersystem, rescuing data from old hard drive, installing programs on new system, and playing with more 3d stuff as to why I didn't post in a while, but you probably wouldn't believe me. Right?

Baby Koala Picture!!!!!

2010-10-04T15:32:00.004+10:30

Yep, the baby koalas are now big enough at this time of the year to see them out and about with their mommy. This mommy/baby pair was only around 15 to 20 feet up a gum tree so, needless to say, I got some awesomely great pics of them.

Would you like to see one of them? Of course you would. I'll put the flickr one up first at 640 by 480. You can click on it to be able to see the 1600 by 1200 picture. The other one will be the blogger picture embed and you can click on it too to bring up the full size 1600 by 1200 picture.

And here's the same pic via blogger's picture engine:

I stepped outside the other day and found some aussie wasps busy starting a nest.

Needless to say, my next stop was to Bunnings to get some wasps nest killer. Sorry guys, but building your nest right next to my grill is THE WRONG THING TO DO!

Hey, look! A thistle flower!

You can also view this at 1200 by 1600 if you so desire, no worries.

Have you ever been out camping in the middle of nowhere? Perhaps on a small, rocky ridge overlooking a foggy valley as the moon rises over the mountains in the distance? Well if you have then I'm sure you know to keep a VERY close eye on that fog cus you just never know what is gonna come sneaking up the slope to your campsite to feast on your brains!

Here's what I mean:

At full size it's 1514 by 855 so just click on the flickr pic to bring it up.

Or you could just embiggen this one:

Have fun camping, campers!

The Solar Powered...

2010-09-26T13:54:00.002+09:30

...CAT!

And after his batteries are all charged up he then has plenty of energy!

Obviously he's conserving battery power till dinner time.

Speaking of dinner, some *cough, cough, TwoYaks cough, cough* may knot believe that koalas actually do move. They do, but only when they are eating.

And even then they don't muchly move.

Australian Flora and Fauna Pictures

2010-09-22T15:55:00.007+09:30

Plus a few other pictures. Why? Why not! It's my blog and I can put any pictures of anything on it. So there.

Firstly, how's abouts some closeup pics of roses? Everyone loves roses, right? These were taken right after a rain shower and I tells ya that you just gotta click on them to embiggen. It. Will. Be. Worth. It.

Download, use as wallpaper, tell your friends, no worries. Full size they are 1600 by 1200.

Firstly is a peach colored rose with dew drops.

Seriously, Puh-Leeze click to make it bigger. Pretty please?

Here's a red rose with dew drops. You can magickly make it a full size of 1600 by 1200 picksuls too! Feel free to purr-loin this photo too, no worries.

And just how about this bloke?

G'day mates! Didja know I gots bi-knock-you-lar vision?

Now, at this point I do feel the need to add a slight editorial comment/advice for me blog blokes and blokettes way up north. In Alaska, of course.

Didja all know that very soon you will be looking at this and feeling the minus 60 degree Fartenheight temperatures that inspired this photo?

Please click to make it slightly larger. And it's another freebie from Yours Truly --don't swoon ladies, I'm human!

It was made in Bryce with 6 different terrains. The terrains were all made in Terragen Basic and exported as 8-bit .sgi pngs, imported and played with in Bryce to make the mountains. Lots of atmospheric effects too. I'm pleased. It looks DAMNED COLD!

See, she agrees with me.

Don't even THINK of moving me to that climate!

I shall now go take a nap as that seems to be one of the myriad things I'm good at. Plus I like taking naps... Hello little nap, where shall I take you?

Perhaps I'll take one over here instead.

Nope, changed me mind. This is the bestest nap-taking spot!

The Hatchening of Sarah Palin

2010-09-15T09:40:00.002+09:30

Didja ever wonder where Sarah Palin came from? Was she hatched from an egg or born live? Or did she spring out of pixels, processors, and programs in a 'puter way back when?

Hmmmmmm. Well, no matter as I happen to have a picture of Sarah Palin hatching from an egg. So now you know: She hatched from an egg. Proof:

Please click to embiggen the picture, you'll be happy!

But how did this start? It first started with me playing around in Bryce 7 Pro. I was learning the terrain sculpting tools and came up with the main "egg" and also the "top" of the "egg" overturned to the side. The material used is actually a sea ice material with some coloration changes to make it look cracky.

After that I went over to DAZ and made a cool looking Ice Dragon whilst applying various add-ons, textures, bump maps, etc to get what I wanted. I also went WAAAAY overboard on the bump mapping of the skin, horns, teeth, etc as I knew the dragon would be used in a long shot in Bryce and that Bryce has a tendency to "soften" the DAZ textures. I had to forgo the glasses as she didn't start wearing them till she was all grown up. Some would argue that she still hasn't grown up.

Here is a close up of the dragon in DAZ. Compare it to the dragon in the finished picture and you'll see why I had the bump mapping in DAZ turned up to "bloody-well high, mate!" as I knew it would soften with distance in Bryce. As always, please click to embiggen.

How's abouts them blueish sparkley things around her body, wings, egg interior and egg top? They were easy. Each one is actually a squashed sphere with a texture applied. No lights were needed and it makes for a very cool effect.

I'm going to show you a screen capture of the Bryce workspace showing the meshes for everything. You'll note that there is a squashed sphere on each wing, one large squashed sphere in the middle of the egg, and a smaller one of the egg top that's been tossed aside. Click to embiggen, of course.

The blobs on the far left and the far right are the other two eggs in the picture. I did those as object instead of terrains. Since they aren't hatched there was no reason to sculpt them, right? You may have also noticed the two yellow lights in the middle. The lower one lights up the egg interior along with the dragon body, and the other lights up the head from below. The light falloff is logarithmic so it's not "fakey" bright and the top one has a very low intensity as I only wanted it on her head. The size of the light mesh has NOTHING to do with the light itself, it just makes it easier to find in the jumble of meshes.

We'll now move to a left side view. You'll see just how far back the unhatched eggs are and you may also make note of the 2 light positions to illuminate the egg interior and the dragon properly. Make the picture larger with a click.

Notice the top red line that is just below the dragon? That's a layer of thin clouds. Go look at the very first picture and you'll notice some thin clouds just above the fog. Now you know what the red line is. It's a flat plane with a thin cloudscape applied to it. Oh, the low fog is an atmospheric effect so there's no mesh to see for it.

The top view is interesting as you'll see two things. The unhatched eggs aren't in the shot cus they are soooooooo far back. I made them huge and placed them waaaay back for two reasons. One is that the haze atmospherics will be more visible and the other is so the "eggy" textures look right. Small sized ones placed just behind the main egg DO NOT give the illusion of depth. Trust me, I tried.

The other thing to notice is that the terrain texture appears flat from above since you are viewing the terrain as a mesh. Valuable little tidbit to keep in mind, that is. Don't forget to click the pic.

I'm going to give you a cool shot of the back of the Ice Dragon rendered in DAZ. Why? Because I think the tiger strips look sooooooo cool! I think it looks neat at full size. Do I need to tell you how to bring the pitcher up to full size? No, didn't think so.

The last bit of nuts n blots for you: I made the scene on my old, decrepit P4 with 2 gigs of ram and a crappy video card. It was rendered on a modern quad core with 4 gigs built in ram, 4 gigs external ram, and a 1 gig video card. It still took 7 hours to render! Why? The sea ice texture used for the eggs is very complex (so's the blue sparkley stuff) and we cranked the rendering options sky high. However, if I had it set for total, top-of-the-line rendering it would have taken DAYS on the quad core. Just another example of software ALWAYS being light-years ahead of hardware. Well, at least affordable hardware.

Bye for now, time to go make some planets.

Don-nah worry! Bee Happy.

2010-09-11T10:26:00.001+09:30

Springtime in South Oz. The pacifica blue in the backyard is blooming and you know what that means! Besides lots of sneezing, of course.

Fire Dragon Fight

2010-09-09T11:38:00.003+09:30

So, like, you know, here's the thingy I've been working on.

3d thingy. Get your minds out of the gutter you perverts! 'Sides, you're blocking my view from the sewer.

The 3 critters were all done in DAZ and everything else done in Bryce 7 Pro.

Whatcha think?

Oh wait, here's a larger version, 1680 by 1050.

Getting Bristol to wrap around momma's tail took a while. There are over 65 individual segments to bend, twist, and wrap.

I think this captures the spirit of Lake Lucille quite well. Momma Sarah showing young Bristol just how to properly bully someone. What do you think?

Oh, here's another one you can click on to embiggen too.

Not including the time it took to learn Bryce and to figure out how lights work in Daz, the whole thing took a total of about 30 hours spread over a few days. 12 of that was rendering time!

**************************

Looks like spring may have actually arrived in South Oz! My peas now have 3 pods, many many more on the way, and I need to put more wiring up for the snow peas to climb. Just planted seeds for tomatillas and red capsicums (red bell peppers). Just about time to hit the garden centre at Bunnings and get tomato seedlings. My chillis are doing fine as they are perennial if you have the right variety, climate, and gardening skillz.

Strawberries, cucumbers, and basil are all on the list for planting this year. No need for rosemary as there is a monster rosemary bush in the yard. Also wild onions, chives, oregano, and plenty of sow thistle and dandelion leaves.

And a pool. Did I mention the pool? Maybe this will remind you:

No, The Cat did not kick the bucket!

2010-09-09T10:28:00.002+09:30

Rumors of the death of His Royal Highness, Protector of the Faithful, Guardian of The Rift, Defender of The Innocent, Wielder of The Sacred Claw of Anor, Lord and Master of All He Surveys, Prince Bagheera are just that. Rumors.

I didn't even realize the wording of the previous post might cause some of you to think that The Fanged Terror had met an untimely demise. I was referencing a rock song from waaaaaaay back. Back when rock n roll meant the guitarist knew 3 chords instead of only one like nowadays.

Here's proof!

He's a little more animated in this picture

Yes I know. It just looks like I took a cat carcass and tossed it around. But really, he DOES move. Just knot when I have a camera handy.

Basement Cat...

2010-09-05T14:36:00.001+09:30

... Bought the Stairway to Heaven!

And he's guarding it from Sarah Palin

Video of wild koala climbing tree

2010-09-04T11:46:00.002+09:30

Shall we just cut to the chase and show you the vid? Of course. This bloke was around 70 to 80 feet up, handheld camera on full zoom.

Hey look! Mean ole Sarah Palin is poking her beady little head around Todd's butt to glare at the neighbors!

Just so you don't think I'm neglecting my new toys (ooooh baby!), I figure I'd better give you a picture of a work in progress in Bryce 7 Pro. I'm sure that all of smart readers will instantly be able to figure out what it is.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to figure out what I'm going to make for dinner tonight...

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

New Toys!

2010-08-29T18:38:00.003+09:30

For me birfday!

Thought I'd put up a work in progress. I'll be making a new terrain backdrop, put in a lava lake, etc. Also I've got a few hours of work still on the main bloke. Loads of detailing still to do on him, lighting, etc.

But I figured I'd better put something up so y'all didn't think I was blowing smoke about all the cool software goodies I got.

Please keep in mind this is in NO WAY complete. Just click on the image to embiggin it.

Step Right Up and ALL Your Questions Will Be Answered!

2010-08-26T13:30:00.004+09:30

Yes indeedy all you little ladies! Just step right up to the Imaginarium of Doctor Dave and all your answers will be questioned!

or something like that

Can anyone guess what film we watched last night? Anyone? Just leave a comment. HINT: It really plumm-s the depp-ths...

Butt I do have two answers for you --don't swoon ladies, I'm human-- instead of only the one you may or may not have been expectorating.

Firstly: why my but was sore and bruised. It has to do with my back. And pressure points. Yes, I had a visit to my chiro a week before my birthday. Wee-Hoo!!!! Happy Birthday to me; here dave, go ahead and treat yourself to a sore ass!

Butt no, it really did help. She had to do some serious work on the pressure points of my right glute with her elbow in order to get the swelling and pain to go away. It worked! She really is amazing, dontcha know. Heck, I can even go in for stuffed sinuses and a few deftly applied thumbs to the top of my neck and all the sinus pressure is GONE.

Alice is cool. Ummmmm, that's Dr Lay actually.

Much better than modern drugs. Butt that's just me.

*********************************************************************

Next answer: My age.

It's sorta kinda like gettin' up there. *wink*

In fact, I am now 2.659009203 *10 ^ 53 planck time units old, and my back with its 4 compressed vertebrae, off-kilter pelvis, off-kilter shoulders, and twisted neck vertebrae feel EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of those planck time units.

I suspect that 3 (three) of my readers can figure out my age. The rest of you can go bugga off mates!

Ha-rumph.

**************************************************************************

It's been a while since I've put up some pictures of Australian wildlife. I shall fix that problem.

I think this lorikeet had it's neck lock. I can relate.

Dude, just give Alice a ring! She'll fix it!

It's quite common for Aussie ladies going au natural to ask me if I think their butt is too big. Here's proof.

Ooooh dave, does my butt look too big?

Wouldn't you just hate to wake up with this bloke staring at you?

The other day I noticed this critter. Not sure whether it's an ant pretending to be a spider or a spider pretending to be an ant. Either way, I wasn't gonna get any closer!

Judging by the eyes, I'm guessing spider.

There's a koala asleep here somewhere...

Oh, why look! Here it is:

This flying bloke picked just the COOLEST LOOKING plant to hang out on!

Just now many cats can YOU find in this picture?

As always just leave your guesses in the comments to anything I may or may not have mentioned, no worries mates.

One last thing... As I'm sure you have all already sent birthday presents/offerings to me (don't swoon ladies, I'm human) I have, most regrettably, yet to receive any of them. Therefore I've decided that all the birthday pressies I receive from you, my loyal readers, shall be put under the tree for Christmas.

Just remembered!

A conversation with Wifey-Poo!

Just a reminder, WP is Wifey-Poo, otherwise known as The Most Wonderful Woman In The Entire World, and YT is Yours Truly --don't swoon ladies, I'm human.

*YT walks into mission control (the 'puter room) carrying his best steel wok*

YT: Honey?

WP: Yes dear? *crap, what does that idiot want now?*

YT: I need to check my tags. Do you know where they are?

WP: ??????????? *????????????????*

YT: You know, my hunting tags.

WP: I'm totally clueless with this one. *can't he EVER let me work without some dumbass conversation?*

YT: I just need to make sure it's the right time of year for this.

WP: For what?

YT: Well, I need to season the wok!

WP: *SOB*

********************************************************************

And on a final note... If none of you ask where I got or why I use the fraze "don't swoon ladies, I'm human" then I'm just gonna... ummmm, errrrrr, KEEP USING IT!

So there.

3d Stuff and A Sore Butt!

2010-08-23T16:32:00.003+09:30

We'll get to the 3d stuff, but first you get to hear about my bruised and sore butt.

Did I do this to myself accidently like wiping out on a bicycle? No.

Did I do this to myself on purpose? No.

Did I pay someone to do bruise my butt? Yes.

Was she tall, statuesque, and have big Ta-Ta's? Yes.

Did it involve her elbow? Yes.

You all should have all the information you need to make an educated guess in the comments. Just keep it clean --just kidding about that last part!

****************************************************************

I have some new software arriving for my Birthday. I share the date with a washed up actor from a 70's buddy cop show and also with a not washed up actress from a late 90's and 00's sci-fi tv show. Any guesses?

****************************************************************

Whilst waiting for my new software (Bryce 7 Pro with all the obj imports and all the other bells n whistles, and the full version of Millennium Dragon 2 for DAZ which includes the chinese dragon) I played around with World Machine 2 --the free, basic version-- to get some erosion effects on a terrain that I then loaded into Terragen.

I'm pretty pleased with how the renders turned out. Just click on a pic for a 1280 by 800 version!

First, a view from the magic helicopter 5000 metres above the ridgeline that is 500 metres above the frozen water --also know as ice.

Then the magic helicopter drops down to 1000 metres above the ridge.

And then the magic helicopter runs out of fuel which of course causes it to crash onto the ice. But not before this final picture was taken:

*********************************************************************

I've never been accused of having a big mouth, but there are times it'd come in handy...

Fine! So there! Happy Early Birthday to ME!

2010-08-19T15:08:00.004+09:30

Haaaaaaaa-RUMPH!

And no one even made mention of the song. So I've deleted it. So there.

*tttthhhbtbtbttbthtbttthhtbt*

*hmmph* gonna go take a nap or three.

It may come as a surprise to some of you, but I do age! No, please... don't swoon ladies, I'm human*

Fortunately, as I plan to live well into triple digits, I am not middle aged yet. But I will tell you that I share a birthday with a few famous people. Any guesses?

I shall now go hide in a tree.

I also know some of the pressie's I will be receiving! Ha!

2 of them involve new software. I've already downloaded the how-to's and what-it's of one of them and am currently studying it.

Another involves a DOWN UNDA margarita party in honor of ME --don't swoon ladies, I'm human*-- for which I've just bought the supplies! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

I shall now go toss fleas in your general direction.

*For the last few years that I've been using that expression, not ONE of you have ever asked me about it. Does that mean I'm awesomely studly-like?

So what do you all think of...

2010-08-18T12:18:00.002+09:30

... the new song that's playing in the background on this ole blog?

Don't worry, I won't leave it up too long. I promise, you betcha! *wink*

Some of you may find one of my food recipes tasty: Bananas wrapped in bacon slices with chocolate sauce poured over the top!

I made it. Seriously. It tasted good. Seriously good.

Here's the post from my food blog --which, by the way, is now more popular than the blog you are reading now!

*****************************************************************

Bacon Wrapped Bananas with Chocolate Sauce

And doesn't that just sound AWESOMELY delicious? I know it does "it" for me! Seriously, what dish can't be improved by adding bacon?

I got the idea for this from a yoga teacher in New Zealand who has a cool food blog called Couscous & Consciousness. In one of her posts she asked folks about what trio or trios of food combination go well together. One of the ones I mentioned was bacon wrapped chocolate that gets battered and deep-fried. She thought it sounded ok but suggested some with bananas to go along with the bacon and chocolate.

Hence, this beauty of a recipe was born!

I made it last night, we all loved it. And that includes BIL who has a very fussy palate. In fact, he licked the plate clean!

Dingo Dave's Original Bacon Wrapped Bananas with Chocolate sauce with thanks to Couscous & Consciousness for inspiration.

What you need:

For the bananas and bacon:
One banana per person
1 to 3 slices of bacon per banana depending on size of slice

For the chocolate sauce:
175 grams of dark chocolate --that's 6.141592654 or pi+3 ounces
2 heaping tbsp butter
1/3 cup cream
1/4 cup cream port (or regular port, or a sherry variety)
1/4 tsp cinnamon powder
1/8 tsp cayenne powder (I usually double or triple this, but that's for when it's just me)

What you do:

Put everything for the chocolate sauce in a small, thick-bottomed saucepan. Your saucepan should now look like this:

Put the saucepan on the lowest heat possible and stir or whisk it while it heats. Make sure nothing sticks to the bottom and that it's well mixed. This should only take a couple of minutes.

Turn the heat off and cover it.

Now to assemble the bacon and bananas. Ummmmmm, this is pretty simple, just wrap the bacon around the bananas. If you need to secure the bacon with toothpicks the go for it.

Then cook them till the bacon is done to your liking. Be gentle when turning them as you don't want to bananas to break apart.

Remove the toothpicks if you used them and liberally ladle the sauce on top!

Notice how I used one dark plate and one light plate so that the color balance in the photo is way off? Yeah, I did that on purpose. Maybe.

And the obligatory closeup:

Use a sharp knife and a fork for eating. Why a sharp knife? So that you don't mush down the banana as you cut a piece.

You'll have lots of leftover sauce, I'm sure you'll think of some use for it.

Oh, next time I'm going to roll the bananas in brown sugar before wrapping the bacon around them!

Happy Monday Morning To Y'all!

2010-08-16T11:00:00.002+09:30

Ahhhh yes, rise and shine at 6 AM awoken by the chatter of wattle birds. Then the magpie start up, the blackbirds sing, and the parrots show up.

Happy, contented sigh...

KE-RASH! BOOM! BANG!

Suddenly the sound of chainsaws rip through the birdsong! The smell of burnt petrol and diesel fumes permeate the trees.

Needless to say, the birds disappear.

Why?

Cus at 730 AM this Monday morning, this monstrosity and it's obligatory noise and crew showed up behind the house:

Must.

Flee.

To.

The.

Hills!

Baby Australian Possum!

2010-08-14T17:36:00.003+09:30

And they are SOOOOO CUTE!

Please keep in mind they are in no way related to North American 'possums. Jus' saying'.

A friend of ours volunteers at the local fauna rescue centre and she routinely stops by with some baby critters she nurses back to help before they are released.

This little bugga was rescued from the pouch of it's dead mommy --roadkill, but the person stopped to check on the possum and found babies alive in the pouch and called the right folks.

Isn't s/he just the cutest?

There is a strict feeding schedule for the little bloke. Here's a vid of Cathy feeding the little fella.

And all together now: Awwwwwwwww, so cute!

And just in case you need some more cuteness today...

Cute Cockatoos

2010-08-13T12:42:00.001+09:30

In progress

2010-08-11T12:25:00.003+09:30

This is part of a work in progress. I won't be doing anything on it today as I am still sick. Only 2nd day and I'm already sick and tired of being sick and tired!

I feel like I've been shot at and missed, but shit at and hit. Yes, I feel like crap. I am also finding the taste of strepsils (anti-bacterial throat lozenge) to get worse and worse. And pure echinacea extract? Nasty stuff!

Anyways, enough about me. Here's the work in progress.

Mother Earth's Curves

2010-08-09T16:41:00.005+09:30

This is a render for ScienceBloke(z(2^8)+z(2^5))/z. Hope he likes it and it's nice to see him blogging again after his trip.

I still can't believe he'd never seen the ocean...

I think this render is quite "fetching", don't you?

And the large size...

Did anyone get the joke?

Or is no one tuned into the same frequency or amplitude as meself?

Please note: there are now four (4) (quattro) (네) (vier) (quatre) (四) (chetiri) (أربعة) (tessera) (dörd) (nne) (cara) jokes or bad puns in this post. Can you find them all?

Waterworld 3D

2010-08-08T13:28:00.004+09:30

Or bigger...

Some things just...

2010-08-06T13:49:00.002+09:30

... look better with critters!

Just click to embiggen, or have a squizz at the full size flickr one:

Almond Trees are BLOOMING!

2010-08-05T16:02:00.002+09:30

And that means that our frigidly cold winter HAS to be coming to an end soon. I mean, DANG, but I am so tired of wearing pants.

Sigh.

Naturally when I saw the almond tree that's next to the pool blooming today, I just had to get the camera. The reason I grabbed the camera was to take some pictures for you. Of the almond blossoms, of course.

Here you are, and you're quite welcome.

The cat was clearly not amused...

...at having a camera shoved in his face.

Playing with water in 3D updated

2010-08-04T16:20:00.003+09:30

You can do a surprising amount of stuff with just the Terragen basic program. I was playing around with water settings this morning and was very pleased with what I came up with.

I'll be adding some critters to this with DAZ next.

Click to embiggen the image. It's scaled to fit a widescreen monitor if anyone wants to use it, no worries.

Obviously, it's hard to see the edge of the water cus the shore foam blends into the snow. So I then lifted the snow to higher elevations only --and made it thicker. You can really see the water now!

However, there is a HUGE scale problem! The water definitely does not match the scale of the mountains. Since I wanted to keep the water the way it is, I decided to do a eroding and excavating! I also thickened the snow again and brought it down below the water depth.

Presto! We now have a bunch of icebergs and the scale now matches the water.

Pretty cool, huh?

T'was a Dark and Stormy Day?

2010-08-03T11:00:00.002+09:30

Suddenly, a shot rang out!

A maid screamed!

A door slammed!

Snoopy smiled whilst perched atop his doghouse with his trusty typewriter.

Charles Schulz cringed.

His ghost snickered.

And since most of you have absolutely no idea what I'm writing about... I shall now show you.

When you look upwards at a sky that appears thusly:

and your first thought is "oh, so pretty" then you probably don't know this means to the non-city dwellin' folk, "Crap! Storm comin'!"

It wasn't long till the sun was blotted out by the rapidly approaching front...

This winter storm caused lots of flooding around Adelaide, various roofs were not-roofs, and a tornado hit one of the outlying communities.

We don't get tornadoes down here in South Oz. My feeling is that it was a water spout that not only made landfall but continued on for a long time. Just my opinion, of course.

************************************************************************

Anyone remember Highlander?

I am the one!
The only one!
I am the God of kingdom come!
Now gimme the prize!
Just gimme the prize!

And now, just...

Gimme the camera!

Do you remember when I was writing about yellow-tailed black cockatoos a few posts ago? I've got some pics of the Belair flock!

Yes indeedy, this'll prove that I've seen them!

I'm sure you can all tell that these aren't crows. Look at their wingtips and the head morphology. Yep, these are cockies alright. Trust me when I say (write) that they have a yellow tail and yellow wingtips.

Here's a much better picture of them.

This

pic

will

astound

you

with

it's

brilliance,

clarity,

and

whatever

other

crappy

adjective

I

care

to

use.

Are your seatbelts fastened?

Are your tray-tables in an upright, locked position?

Have you grabbed the flight attendants butt (male, female, doesn't matter)?

Check this pic out of a flock a yellow-tailed black cockatoos!

Ready?

Proof! Word, baby!

Love blogging of the ultra hot chili beer tasting! updated

2010-07-30T12:00:00.025+09:30

I am just about to crack the top of the brew now!

update 12 01 PM It's very well pressurized.

update 1204 pm cracked the top. Huge hiss. Smell of chilis instantly permeated the room!

update 1205 pm Carefully pouring. Very fizzy. No head though. STRONG smell of chili!

update 1206 pm the lager has a very reddish tinge to it.

update 1208 pm first taste! hair tingles. eyes water. tongue shrivels. warmth better than a shot of whiskey wpreads throughout my gut.

update 1210 pm *beeeeeeelllllchhhhhh* Holy crap that's strong stuff! Anyone wanna come down and visit to taste some of my homebrewed chili beers?

update 1212 pm 3 sips and my scalp has the serious chili sweats going on. Wifey-Poo says just a whiff of it hurts her sinuses.

update 1214 pm Just took a large swig of it. I *think* I may be getting used to it. Gotta remember this when it's hot weather. What a great way it'd be to cool off.

update 1217 pm Ok, finished with the first 10 ounce glass... only 20 more ounces to go! Ooooo, tummy just love sit, NOT! Wifey-Poo says that if I make myself sick then she ain't cleaning it up (this time).

update 1219 pm Mmmmmm, nice, warm, tingly feeling in my tummy now. Good brew!

update 1221 pm Did you know that birds do not have receptors that react to capsaicin the way mammals do? Just another way the chili plants spread their seeds; bird poop!

update 1224 pm Everytime I take a swig of the brew, my nose tingles. Gee, wonder why? And just why does it seem so warm in here today?

update 1226 pm For some reason my nose is running. Quick, enter it in a race!

update 1228 pm Why is there a lot of pressure in my ears and why do sounds seem muffled all of a suddn?

update 1230 pm *belch* Ahhh, a tsp of sour cream soothed the boiling cauldron that is my tummy.

update 1234 pm I am now 2/3 of the way through the 750 mil bottle of F*CK*NGLY H*T chili beer.

update 1235 pm Just poured the last third. bubbles are continously rising from the dark depths of the glass.

update 1238 pm Is it any surprise to you that afte Santa visited me down under that THIS happened?

update 1243 pm Why is my face feeling puffy? Was it something I drank?

update 1245 pm Holy CRAP! The last few dregs (them cloudy bits of honebrew) are disgustlingly HOOTTTT!

updat4 1246 pm It's a good thing my tonsils were removed when I was young, otherwise they'd be seared now! And I'm feeling oooooooh so warm and tingly inside!

update4 1248 pm *blech* Ahhhh, me feels much better now.

update 1250 pm One tiny amount left in the glass... it smells like haz-mat. Fortunately, it doesn't taste like haz-mat.

update 1255 pm Done AND done! I certainly don't envy my lower intestine tomorrow morning.

I certainly hope you've enjoyed reading this, I know I enjoyed (sorta) drinking it.

update 108 pm My god... It's full of stars...

Countdown... updated

2010-07-30T11:35:00.004+09:30

24 minutes and counting till I crack open the last of my chili beers and consume it.

Update: 21 minutes to go. I SWEAR I've seen the chili jiggle and shack in that last bottle...

http://alaskandavedownunder.blogspot.com/2010/07/in-exactly-19-hours-from-right-now.html

Update @ 11:45 am 15 mins to go. Bottle feels good and pressurised. Chili is wriggling nicely. Should be very very potent. I'll keep you posted, no worries.

update @ 11:52 am The scoville heat unit of the chilli I used is around 100,000. It was fresh and I pierced it before adding to the homebrew bottle for it's secondary fermentation. That was 7 months ago.

udate @ 1157 am. No one else in the house seems to give a damn. BIL is facebooking, MIL is watching Richard Dean Anderson as MacGyver, the cat is asleep, and Wifey-Poo is writing. Just me and the chillis, I guess.

In exactly 19 hours from RIGHT NOW...

2010-07-29T16:30:00.004+09:30

... local Adelaide time, I will be live tweeting and live blogging an event.

Remember this teaser from last post?

*****************************************************************

Next up: A teaser.

This coming Friday, July 30th, at noon local Adelaide time I will be live tweeting and live blogging an event. For those of you who have no idea about international time zones, I'll give you some handy times.

If you are in Alaska, the event will occur at 6:30 PM, Thursday July 29th.

If you are on the US East coast, the event time will be 10:30 PM, Thursday July 29th.

If you are in France, it'll be 4:30 AM, Friday July 30th.

If you are in Sydney, check in at noon-thirty on the 30th, no worries.

Beer will be involved. And maybe yoghurt. Probably a toilet.

The event should last no longer than 30 minutes. 45 max.

Any guesses?

*********************************************************************

Before I let you know what the Event is I need to tell you that we have a new neighbor. And she's young, nubile and very hot lookin'! So don't tell Wifey-Poo, ok?

The other day she gave me one of those over-the-shoulder-come-hither looks that I'm sure all you cranky old guys are used to getting from young girls. Or is it just me?

Fortunately, I had the camera with me at the time!

Here she is, me new girlyfriend!

Well, I guess Wifey-Poo doesn't have anything to be worried about after all.

Next up: What is The Event!

It involves beer, of course. Specifically, homebrew. More specifically, a homebrew that was made 7 and 1/2 months ago!

Remember this post from mid december 2009?

**************************************************************

Variety is the Spice of Life

Yes, it is. Why would you want to do the same boring, mundane thing every single day and then on the weekends do the same boring, mundane thing that you've done every weekend for the last 20 years?

Do something different! Change something! Spice up your life!

Heck, if I'd been content to drive the same truck every day, punch the same clock, receive a really good paycheck with awesome benefits, ride the bike on the same roads/trails as the previous 1231 weekends, teach the same stuff four times a week in the evenings; well, gosh.

I certainly wouldn't be in Australia if I wanted to do the same thing day in and day out.

And I certainly wouldn't have an outdoor pool. I hear they aren't too common up in Fairbanks for some reason.

And I certainly would still be working!

You owe it to yourself to TRY SOMETHING NEW!

Variety is the SPICE of life. And if you don't like spices in your life then you are probably only popular at a Star Trek Trivial Pursuit convention. Jus' sayin'.

Speaking of spices... I happened upon a couple of really nice chilli peppers the other day.

I have tentatively identified them as a sub-species of Capsicum annuum. I do believe they are the cayenne variety.

These puppies are 20 times hotter than a jalapeno and 10 times hotter than tabasco sauce. However, they are only 1/5th the hotness of the thai peppers I grow (got 9 really awesome thai chilli plants this year). But hey, they are still good.

Lookie here if'ns ya don't beeleave me:

To do what I planned to do with them (GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!), I first needed to snip the stems.

BTW, Mundial kitchen shears are da bomb! Hand crafted in Madrid, doncha know.

And I also needed to pierce them full of holes:

You'll notice I don't wear rubber gloves when handling chillis. It's cus I'm not a wuss. Besides, I've got so many callouses from, ah, um, er, other activities that I don't have to worry about and juice stinging.

But what am I planning on doing with these chillis? Weeeeeeelllllllllll, since you asked...

This is a 750 ml bottle ready for BEER! 750 mls is twice the size of wussie US beers, BTW. These are BIG chillis!

They barely even fit!

One with, one without.

Soon to be both "with".

And after a nice lager has been added to do it's secondary fermentation in the bottle

I'll let you know how they taste in about a week from now.

Hey, take a chance! Ya never know!

******************************************************************

Yes, I have ONE, count it twice, ONE of the chilli beers left. And that beer has been soaking up all the chili heat goodness for a long time now! In fact, just the other day I say the chili twitch and the bottle moved.

Tomorrow at noon I will be opening it and consuming it. And I will tell you all about it LIVE as it happens!

So tune in exactly 19 hours from RIGHT NOW to this blog and to my tweeter account! I'll be updating every few minutes so just click the refresh button to get the latest.

Hallucinations?

Sickness?

Giddiness?

Transcendental experiences?

Finding out if there's an afterlife?

Who knows what'll happen!

Just be here. Friday. July 30th. Noon. Adelaide, South Oz time.

Have You Ever Been So Embarrassed...

2010-07-26T12:28:00.002+09:30

...that you have had to go hide your head in shame?

Have you?

I have.

It was, fortunately, I long time ago. Not recently, of course.

I felt kinda like this:

I'm sure glad I don't do things like that anymore, WHEW!

*****insert sound of gears grinding as they shift*******

Did you know that there is a species of Aussie cockatoo that is black? With a yellow tail. They are called, quite unimaginatively of course, yellow-tailed black cockatoos.

The first time I saw one --it was a pair of them-- was early in the morning while I was on the bicycle. I'd gone through Cherry Gardens and past the golf course just before Ironbank. I was on my way out to Lenswood via Deviation Road and was going to loop back via the Onkaparinga road, south to Nangkita and heading back via Kangarilla to head back towards the 'burbs of Sturt. Long day.

Anyways, I saw a pair of yellow-tailed black cockies just past the golf course. The sun was barely up and they alighted in a tree right next to the road. They were beauties! Never have seen them that close since.

There's a flock of them that hangs out in the southern Adelaide Hills that Wifey-Poo and I see every once in a while. I do have several picks of black specks that are them, but no sense putting them up.

I do however have a decent pic of a single one.

Would you like to see it?

Of course you would!

Next random topic: Shrooms! I love me some mushrooms!

Here's one that I twisted out of my shroom farm the other day:

Big sucker! It weighed 150 grams. That's 5.33 ounces, or one-third of a pound. It tasted soooooooo good!

Next up: A teaser.

This coming Friday, July 30th, at noon local Adelaide time I will be live tweeting and live blogging an event. For those of you who have no idea about international time zones, I'll give you some handy times.

If you are in Alaska, the event will occur at 6:30 PM, Thursday July 29th.

If you are on the US East coast, the event time will be 10:30 PM, Thursday July 29th.

If you are in France, it'll be 4:30 AM, Friday July 30th.

If you are in Sydney, check in at noon-thirty on the 30th, no worries.

Beer will be involved. And maybe yoghurt. Probably a toilet.

The event should last no longer than 30 minutes. 45 max.

Any guesses?

This was yesterday's food post

2010-07-23T14:00:00.003+09:30

Since I hived off my food blog a few years ago I tend not to cross post. I think I've done it once before now. So make this 2!

Why? Cus I think y'all will like this.

Australian Sausage Rolls --With BACON!

Cus, like, seriously folks: Doesn't bacon just make any food that much better? I can picture it now... bacon flavoured ice cream... Mmmmmmmmmmm.

Ok, enough of that.

Sausage rolls are very Australian. Like SERIOUSLY Australian! If you are in the US then think of things like this:

mom & apple pie

baseball & hot dogs

nachos & beer

hot dogs & beer

football & beer

burgers, fries & beer

beer & beer

TV & beer gut

Ok, you all sorta get the message! Sausage rolls & Aussies just go together like any perfect combination you can think of.

What is an Aussie sausage roll? Did you know there's this thingy called "google"? They even have an image search function! I suggest you try it!

My homemade sausage rolls are a bit different from the norm (just like me) in the fact that mine include BACON! Bacon, sausage, and puff pastry! Can't beat that!

Here's what you need:

6 thin Aussie sausages (snags or bangers)
6 slices of Aussie bacon (12 if you use tiny US bacon slices)
3 sheets of puff pastry

Nice, short list of ingredients, eh?

What you do:

You first need to half-cook your sausages. If you are using hot dogs (BAD!!!!) then you can omit this step. Here's what a plate of half-cooked aussie sausages look like:

If you are curious, I use Slape n Sons sausages. Tasty, local, fresh.

Let the half-cooked sausages cool, and then wrap each one with a slice of bacon. If you use Aussie bacon, then you'll only need one slice per snag. If you use US bacon, then you'll need 2 bacon slices per snag. Here's why:

Just make sure you trim the rind (skin) off.

Don't forget to make fried worms with the bacon rinds!

Here's what your plate should now be looking like:

Don't worry if the bacon isn't tightly wrapped around the snags. Why? Cus bacon shrinks whilst cookin', doncha know.

Cook the bacon-wrapped, semi-cooked snags on 2 sides till they look something like this:

Let them cool and drain them of cooked bacon/snag fat. Just make sure you keep the drained fat for future use, of course. Once they are cool you get to break out the puff pastry sheets! Wee-Hoo!

Just peel off 3 sheets and put the rest back in the freezer, no worries.

Obviously, let the puff pastry sheets thaw. {insert serious DUH factor here} It shouldn't take long for them to thaw, 30 mins maybe. by the time they are thawed, the 3/4 cooked, bacon-wrapped, Aussie sausages should be cool enough to handle with no worries.

Cut a pastry sheet in half. I use a pizza cutter, BTW. Wrap the half sheet around one of the snags. You'll find there's around about 2 inches you'll need to trim after wrapping the sausage.

Continue till they are all wrapped. Place them some sort of baking sheet or tray.

Do you remember the trimmed off-cuts of the puff pastry that you trimmed after wrapping the 3/4 cooked, bacon-wrapped, Aussie sausages? You should have a nice pile looking something like this:

DO NOT THROW THEM AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Heat some oil up and toss them in the hot oil. 30 to 40 seconds a side. You'll find the puff up HUGELY! A very tasty side snack, they do make.

Put the rolls in a hot oven (220 C or 440 F) until they look like this:

At this point you can just pick one up and eat it --let it cool a bit as they really hold their heat-- or you can put em in the fridge or freezer for later, no worries.

And they taste ohhhhhhh so good!

More Australian Lorikeet Pictures

2010-07-22T12:24:00.002+09:30

Plus some other stuff and quite a bit of rambling from Yours Truly --That'd be me; don't swoon ladies, I'm human! BTW, does not ANYONE want to know where the saying, "don't swoon ladies, I'm human" came from? Anyone?

Well, let's git on whit some birdie pics!

Some folks think lories have evil eyes...

This next pic it NOT a photo of the birdie in flight. It is a photograph of the lorikeet that is hanging onto the chain. Just look at the body angle compared to the feet! It seems to be so "off" that if this was attempted to be sold to a major pic library they'd say it was a piss-poor photoshop job!

Let's change some gears! {insert sound of gears grinding here}

What kind of food does Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human) really like? I mean REALLY REALLY REALLY like?

Why, that'd be sushi, of course!

Contest forthcoming!

Like, right now.

What critter is in this picture and where is it?

I have an announcement to make.

I shall make said announcement now.

*clears throat*

Once Le Tour has finished and Yours Truly has caught up on sleep, I shall be live tweeting and live blogging an event. What sort of event might this be, I hear you ask from afar.

I ain't tellin' yet, but suffice to say it shall, of course, involve beer.

Anyone wanna guess as to the nature of the event?

I Am Still Here...

2010-07-16T14:04:00.003+09:30

... and you are not! HAHAHHAHAHAHAH

I joke, of course.

I think I'll survive July this year, especially since Cadel's got a broken elbow. The Pyrenees are looming... Caffeine is my bestest friend right now.

Got some pics and some kapshuns for you, hope you enjoy them.

Have I mentioned how much I really really really like sushi? If not, then I have now.

Those are my mushrooms, BTW. All the other veggies are local.

I think everyone ought to have these:

This was taken at the beach a week or so ago.

I make the world's bestest homemade chips. Or pomme frites, or steak fries, or french fries.

No, I DO NOT make freedom fries!

My BIL is a very good modeller. He has several articles published about kit conversions, scratch builds, casting his own parts, airbrushing, etc. He also works parttime up at the Flinders Uni paleo lab painting and airbrushes fossil castings. He's pretty darned good. Here's a pic of piece of a cockpit for some model that HE HAND PAINTED!

Yeah, I'm impressed too.

Hey, you'd be looking pissed off too if you had this branch stuck somewhere!

Naturally, a predicament like that tends to attract a crowd and everyone offers their advice for extrication.

I have a new toy!!!!! Guess what it is!

Why, of course it is a...

You just plug it into a USB port, press the switch on the back, hold it in your hand and it massages away all the aches from typing and mousing all day!

It's also very good if your neck it tight or stiff. Have you ever had a little knot in your upper back around the scapula? Works for that too!

In
fact
it
has
a
whole
plethora
of
uses!

A
veritable
cornucopia
if
you
please!

There's one particular use I just LOVE to use it for!

J
u
s
t

s
c
r
o
l
l

d
o
w
n

a

b
i
t.

D
o
n
'
t

w
o
r
r
y
,

i
t
'
s

w
o
r
k

s
a
f
e!

You can tell it works cus of the stain on the shorts!

Guy or Gal?

2010-07-08T11:27:00.002+09:30

For those of you who have either been following my blog for a while, or are a recent arrival and have been so bored that you've trawled through my archives...

Is this big ole sulfie a bloke or a sheila?

I think these are extinct now...

2010-07-06T16:19:00.004+09:30

I saw this bloke at one of the glacial entrances to the Harding Icefield back in '48. I'm surprised the photo turned out as well as it did considering it was a gloomy, overcast day.

I think they've all headed way further north now as all the glaciers have been retreating and these critters really need ice and cold temps to thrive.

Anyone else ever seem em? Titanium just got back from Harding, I wonder if she saw any of them...

You'll also be happy to know that I had one of the first widescreen cameras way back then so the photo is the perfect size for someone's widescreen computer monitor.

Just click on this picture to embiggen it and feel free to save it, no worries!

What? Don't you believe me?

Alien Abduction Act XIII --Charging to Lake Lucille!

2010-06-27T11:27:00.002+09:30

Yes folks, it's time for yet another installment of my completely true story of my very recent alien abduction! Whilst I was a lightning-charged, undead, brain-eating, sledge-hammer wielding zombie, of course.

Confused yet? Don't worry, it happens to me all the time.

Here's something to help you ketchup:

Prelude

Act I

Act II

Act III

Act IV

Act V

Act VI

Act VII

Act VIII

Act IX -preview

Act IX

Act X

Act XI

Act XII

And I'll even give you a quickie text recap: I cut my neck whilst shaving in the pool with a meat cleaver. Wifey-Poo gave me a burial at sea (pool) with my sledgehammer and duct tape. Lightning storm re-animated me. Charged me and sledgehammer with lightning. Whilst I was on the roof, I bonged the pyramid (we really have one on the roof) with the charged sledgehammer which then transported me to the A.S.S. (alien space ship) with the rego number of C4P-PFP2012. Upon my arrival the aliens activated a type of illusory hologram so that I appeared to be in a cave complex and yet I retained my actual appearance!

Just scroll back up and open the links to see real photographic evidence of all these happenings, no worries.

When I last posted, I had just stumbled upon this sign:

Ahhhh, perhaps a nice retreat to a clean, beautiful, serene, sub-arctic lake would be nice... Perhaps it's springtime and there's a few other lakes around with a bit of rotten ice still around. Ahhhhhhhhhh...

Ahhhhh, bliss. Enough to melt anyone's heart...
Ahhhhhh, day-dreaming of Lake Lucille

But wait! What if...

if

it's

the

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Lake Lucille

in Wasilla!

On NO!!!!

Obviously an alien creature that large and powerful must have a HUGE brain! And since I was still a brain-eating zombie at this point, I decided there was only ONE (1) (won) thing to DO!

Would you like to know what I did?

*dee-dee-deet-dee-dee-deet-dit-deety-dee-dee*

CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!

How to be funny...

2010-06-19T14:42:00.002+09:30

...looking!

Ha, ha! No, I joke. Although I have been told that I'm funny looking, this post is not about how to look like me --d*mn*d good thing too!

No, this post is about how to be a world famous, independently wealthy, adored by millions of young bikini-clad bimbos, humour righter! Just like Yours Truly --don't swoon ladies, I'm human.

There's several ways you can make your blog funnier:

1) Don't make lists! Cus I hate them!

Try making up a fictional story from your childhood! Now, all of mine are completely true, of course.

Lie. Except when you aren't.

Poke fun at yourself. After all, everyone loves to laugh AT you instead of WITH you.

Intenshunully missspel werdz! Phonetics kan be phun!

Throuw grammer zpellin an punchooashun write outta da winder

Don't swear goddammit. Cussing isn't funy you dumm shit.

take and post pitchers of youselv doin stupid or funny things --this one is a favourite of mine!

Use sillie captions on pictures. Especially critter pitchers since we all luv to anthropomorphosise critters --Ummmmm, that does mean to be amorous with critters, doesn't it?

Make up knew werds! See whose smart enuff to figure em owt.

Don't use puns! Cuz they ain't punny 'cept to the punster. Besides, you'd faile as I iz way much beter at it then you.

2day you git some eggzampels of phuny pitcher capshuningness!

Ohhhh, ai shouldn't haz had da third pitcher uf catnip margaritas...

Arrrrr! Look lively ya bilge rats! And keep a weather eye out for the never-empty bag of sunflower seeds, arrrrrrr mateys!

Oh Cr*p! Momma always warned me not to look down!

In a victory for evolution, certain subspecies of Australian Honey Bees have developed an immunity to the deadly, paralyzing, toxic sting of the dangerous, lethal and venomous Australian Tree Anemone.

Alien Abduction Act XII --At last we meet them!

2010-06-14T20:43:00.003+09:30

And just when you thought it was safe to go back into outer space! Bwuhahahhahahhahah!

Yes, it's time for another installment in the completely, 100% true story of my alien abduction. Don't you remember? This was after I died after cutting myself shaving with a meat cleaver in the pool and was then brought back to an undead, brain-craving, zombie state from a lightning strike and then was transported up to the A.S.S. (Alien Space Ship) cus I struck the pyramid on top of my roof with my lightning-charged sledgehammer and was then transformed into an undead, brain-eating, hulking beast with a club roaming the cave-like corridors of the A.S.S. that had the rego number of C4P-PFP2012.

Does that ring any bells?

Perhaps this handy list of links will refresh your mammaries --oops, memories!

Prelude

Act I

Act II

Act III

Act IV

Act V

Act VI

Act VII

Act VIII

Act IX -preview

Act IX

Act X

Act XI

Everyone caught up now? No? Seriously, if you haven't read those posts about this entirely true episode in my life then when you read Act XII you'll be even more confused than you are now.

So just, at least, go back and skim them posts, eh? I'll wait, no worries.

Aaaaaaannnnnd for those of you who didn't read those posts, how's abouts a quickie photo recap...

Here's me dead in the pool

Then I come back to life in my zombie, lightning-charged state:

Contacting the A.S.S.

Here I am blasting into orbit

A Chinese spy satellite caught this pic from afar

See, it really is the name of their ship!

I got a good look at the rego number:C4P-PFP2012!

And here I am on board the alien ship!

This was, of course, after they had activated some sort of holographic illusion thingy to make me think I was underground! For some reason they kept my body just as it normally is...

Ok! Is everyone "up to speed" with the story so far? I'm an undead, brain-eating, HUGE zombie on board the A.S.S. (rego # C4P-PFP2012) and I'm just about to step out of the holographic cave and into a holographic cave corridor in an attempt to somehow find my way back to South Oz, become NOT undead anymore, and hopefully eat a few alien brains along the way!

Whew! I need to give my fingers a rest... They are SSSSSSSSS-MOKIN'!

Alien Abduction Act XII

It was at this point I decided to leave the "cave" I was in and try to find either the control room or the engine room! And I felt sure I was to meet up with some aliens along the way and eat their brains!

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Grrrrrrr! Where's the alien brains? I's feelin' HUNGRY! Feed me Seymour, feed me!

I raced down the corridor, hair flying in all directions!

As I rounded a corner...

... I skidded to a screeching halt in front of this signpost!

To say I was shocked would certainly be the understatement of the millennium!

AAAAAAAAAIIIIIII-EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

I quite obviously realised that one way led to the control room, and the other led to the engine room. But which? And why the code and the weird lettering?

As I pondered which way to go, I heard a faint whirring of motors. Like the ones that control a hidden camera!

I. Was. Being. Watched!

But by whom?

And why?

And when was I gonna get to eat the alien brains?

And just WHAT is controlling this whole illusion that makes me see things that aren't there?

And why the cave system? Do they think I'm a mushroom and want to keep me in the dark and feed me b*llsh*t all day?

Who.

Could.

It.

Be?

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Eeeeeeee, hee-hee-hee! I'll get you, my pretty. And your little bloggie too, also! Hee-hee-hee-heeeee!

Stay tuned folks, it just gets better and better!

Meet the new arrival to the household!

2010-06-13T15:56:00.002+09:30

Yes, you read that right! There is a new arrival in the house. Her momma was born here too! Yup, that's us; critters fornicating and birthing right in the house.

And the best part is I don't have to feed it.

Nor walk it.

Nor listen to it yowl at 5 am demanding fish and then going out.

It's quiet.

Keeps the mossies out too.

Isn't it juuuuuust soooooo cute?

Unlike this ugly bugga...

And here's Sarah Palin glaring at Tawd!

Hey! Looks at MY boobs, not hers!

A Typical Morning Down Under...

2010-06-09T12:22:00.002+09:30

...generally starts with me yawning a great big ole yawn!

*Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnn*

As I am now awake, it would please me if you would alert the media!

Gotta get some blood flowing by some early morning stretching!

Hmmmm, do I smell coffee?

Ah! It's a beer! Even better! GIMME!

Don't swoon ladies, I'm human!

Whew! That was exhausting. I think I'll take a nap for the day while thinking about food...

I am so disappointed...

2010-06-06T17:01:00.003+09:30

... with y'all.

Perhaps I have inured you two my scents of intentional tiepoes? Or p'haps y'all are just too damned unobservant? Oh, wait! I know! You are going to take the high rode and say that you didn't want to point out my intentional stupidity during the time when MIL is heelin' up!

Yeah, that's it! You guys and gals are just so saintly that you didn't want to bring to my attention the MASSIVE BOO-BOO I made (semi-on purpose, but that's an long, articulated story) in the previous post as we nurse MIL back to health.

She's doing great, BTW. I've also showed her all of your comments. She loves em! And the bruising is going down nicely. No pics of it today, but expect some sometime soon when you least expect them. She also thanks each and every one of you and had me print out the comments so she can keep them in a folder.

What was the GLARING mistake I made? That once I discovered it after publishing the post --like 5 seconds after I published the post-- I decided to leave up and just see how SMART and OBSERVANT my many readers are?

Ok, I must say that you were probably distracted by my greatness (don't swoon ladies, I'm human) butt that's still no excuse!

Someone SHOULD have picked up on the *slight* discrepancy betwixt the post title and the label. Anyone?

Exhibit A

The post title; Radioactive Red

Exhibit B

The picture of the label;

Ummmm, shall I rest my case?

As I'm so totally quite sure that everyone has completely read every word so far in this post, I shall now leave you with an image.

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And in case the bedbugs bite: Use dynamite! *thank you Mister Dempsey*

And for those of you who don't have a dual 23" monitor setup at work (lucky you Ti, lucky you) here are some little, itsy, bitsy thumbnails you can click on to get the full effect (embiggen) of what might affect you as you sleep...

Stay tuned folks, thar's rapids ahead!

Oh, a free wallpaper to the first person who can guess what movie I was referencing with the Mister Dempsey, bedbugs, and dynamite throwaway line!

Radioactive Red

2010-06-02T17:52:00.002+09:30

Have you ever stumbled upon something (hopefully not my cat otherwise you'd be missing a leg) and thought that it would make the greatest blog post title ever?

Radioactive Red

Yeah, awesome, ain't it?

Butt what does it pertain to? I'll tell you. See, down here in Oz and South Oz there are quite a few (a LOT) world class wineries. And world class graperies. And there are some really cool blends. Shiraz-Cabernet is a very popular one.

Check this out!

See, BIL not only works in the Paleo lab in the Bio dept, but also teaches and is getting his PHD from the Archaeology dept. Which means he gets to go to twice as many parties and functions! And bring back cool stuff like that bottle of wine!

Now, Aussies aren't the pretentious type so I think this description can be taken with a very large grain of salt...

I mean, c'mon! Any wine description that talks of menthol and tannins just CAN NOT be serious! At least I'd like to think so.

What's really neat is that I've been to the winery (and ridden past several time on a bike) where they got the Shiraz, and have actually been to the Coonawarra region where the Cab is sourced near Bordertown!

A mix of the Mclaren Vale and the Limestone Coast!

Didja notice that 14.5% alcohol part?

Apologies Abound...

2010-05-30T16:31:00.003+09:30

...from me to YOU! Yes, you. No, not that other you, butt YOU my faithful readers! Ah, this'd be "you" in the plural sense, not singular. Of course if I was typing this in Deutsch then I'd be using "ihr" instead of "du" and all this silliness of "you" vs "you" BS wouldn't even exist.

Butt since I'm typing this in English, I felt I should qualify the "you" to mean "you all", or p'haps "y'all" for short. Actually it wouldn't be "for short" as yawls are generally not too short for a boat.

Is everyone just as kon-phuzz-ed as I am? Or are "you" knot?

On a side note, I absolutely DID NOT think about the prose I used above. It just came to me. Now I do think about blog stuff throughout the day, but generally (how's abouts always) the thought shoots itself (for some unknown reason, drawn to the darkness, perhaps?) into one ear, bounces around for a fleeting moment or two, and then quickly ejects itself out the other ear --never to be heard from again. Gotta tell ya, this blog would be a heckuva lot more entertaining if you knew what some of those thoughts were. And then we'd both be in jail.

For those of you who know me (shut up, Karl) the above blathering is absolutely know surprise.

Back to my apology.

I haven't had the time lately to surf some of my fav blogs. And the times when I have had a squizz at them I haven't had time to formulate a comment. And that's bad cus there are sooooo many things I want to comment about. I think.

Why has time compressed itself around me? One word: Family. As in the one I married into. And also the other one soon-to-not-be in Alaska.

It all revolves around MIL --that's mum-in-law btw. See (read), she's had this surgery and doctor appointments scheduled for a while now. It has to due with her teeth.

Or lack thereof.

21 left, of which 12 were infected remnants buried in her jaw and of the 12 still showing over half of them were "bad". Bad as in REALLY F*CKING BAD. Why does she have all these teeth and gum problems "you" ask? 60 years (she's 80) of battling Crohn's disease will sorta do that to you. That and the 5 emergency bowel surgeries along with the cancer surgery.

She's a tough old lady, that is for sure. Oh, the best oral surgeon in South Oz said (without batting an eye) she will be so much happier with those teeth gone. He was right, 36 hours later and she really is happy as a clam.

Now she just has to heal up enough for the dentures.

To add to the drama: 10 days ago BIL got an urgent email from the Flinders Biology dept beggin for folks to cook for Australia's Biggest Morning Tea. This is country wide in all hospitals and Unis. Needless to say, I volunteered as every cent raised goes to the local hospital or Uni cancer research dept. My food was a huge success and there were no leftovers.

The Tea was the day before mum's surgery. And the preceding week was spent in various doctor's offices.

When I wasn't taking care of MIL, I was cooking --or, at least, thinking about cooking, kinda like I'm doing right now. To say that it was a busy week would be a rather sizable understatement. Rather Sizable.

Butt everything turned out great. Food was good, and MIL came through the surgery a million percent better than we thought she would.

Except for the bruising.

Did I mention she's a "bruiser" and a "bleeder"? Well, I have now. In fact just taking the tape off of her eyelids after surgery (don't ask) caused a wee bit of bruising. In fact, both the anesthesiologist and the surgeon personally called us to tell us that not only was it a success, but to tell us about the bruising and how shocked they were.

Didn't surprise us. We did tell them, but I don't think the really understood just how easily she bruises and how "interesting" the bruises can look. Yes, I keep a good supply of arnica cream around.

Anyways, when WP and I went to collect MIL, the nurses in the ward were telling us they had never seen anything like it. Apparently they must have been trying to fortify our constitutions for the impending hideousness we were about to see...

Nah, we've seen worse.

In fact MIL was laughing about all the attention, and yes, I've seen her looking worse --long story.

Now for the FUN part! MIL wanted pictures so she could remind herself of what she looked like with no teeth and being something out of a horror flick. And she even wanted to share it with the world.

The world being those of "you" who read this.

And

see

this.

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Just click on the pic to expand it up to full size, no worries!

Toot, toot!

2010-05-24T17:25:00.002+09:30

Now how does that jingle go?

Bean, beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel
So let's have beans for every meal!

My dad taught me that when I was a wee little tyke.

Anyways, this post has nothing to do with that.

This post is about me tooting my own horn!

I put this up on my food blog today, but I figured since I've got 5 times the visitors over here that I'd make you people read it too. So there.

Biggest Morning Tea

Each year, the Biology dept up at our local Flinders Uni hosts what they like to call "The Biggest Morning Tea". It only costs $4 to get in (that's just a couple of Aussie $2 coins). All the cooking is done on a volunteer basis.

My BIL works at the Paleo lab in the Bio dept so he's on their email list. Last week he received an urgent email asking for more cooking-type folks. So far only 4 people had volunteered, and none of them featured any savory dishes.

Mike (BIL) told them about my cooking prowess, and I got in email contact with the lady in charge. She is very thrilled with what I said I could make for them.

Here's the list of what I'll be making between now (monday arvo) and thurs morn:

Cheese and bacon muffins

soft pretzels w/ cheese sauce

mexican chocolate fondue

zucchini bread

cumin seed crackers

wholemeal chia seed bread w/sunflower and pumpkin seeds

morrocan seasoned pan bread w/ grana padana cheese

fresh homemade ricotta cheese (it's easier than you think) to go with the cumin crackers and whatever.

They are expecting 100 to 150 people... This will be challenging, especially as MIL has a couple of doctor appointments this week.

Wish me luck folks!

Oh, the proceeds from it go directly the Flinders Med Centre (right next to the U) for their cancer research.

Alien Abduction Act XI --Smoke & Mirrors

2010-05-22T16:18:00.005+09:30

Yes, it's true! The long untold story of my alien abduction continues! There was a momentary (6 week) lapse in the story due to some soft- & hardware probs, but the brain surgery was a success so it's time to entertain you some more!

Since you may need a bit of catching up...

Prelude

Act I

Act II

Act III

Act IV

Act V

Act VI

Act VII

Act VIII

Act IX -preview

Act IX

Act X

Whew! Is everyone now all caught up with the completely true, 100% factual story of my alien abduction whilst I was a lightning-charged, undead, brain-eating zombie with magic sledgehammer?

Just boggles the ole brain, don't it?

For those of you too lazy to reacquaint yourselves with the story, lemme add the last few pics so you sorta have an idea of how you just may be able to possibly think about perhaps slightly understanding just what the heck is going on somewhere in orbit above Oceania at this very moment, too, also.

Remember, a Chinese spy satellite was tracking my whereabouts at the time and got this great pic!

And as I approached I was able to make out the A.S.S.'s rego number!

C4P-PFP2012??? What could that possibly mean?

And then I materialized inside the A.S.S. (Alien Space Ship)!

Now, this is the point that things started to get a little weird (er). So pay attention kiddies!

I seem to remember that right after I materialized in the A.S.S. that there was an odd shimmering and everything changed to a cave/tunnel network. And, more importantly, I changed back into my normal, mundane, self --except for the fact that I was still craving brains. I quickly reasoned that any space-faring critters should have ample brains to eat. The rego of the A.S.S. which was C4P-PFP2012 had, of course, completely slipped my mind during the transformation.

I also deduced that I was still aboard the A.S.S. and that it was some sort of holographic illusion. Perhaps something similar to what happened to a Starship crew in the episode called "Catspaw" from ST:TOS. Oh, you know, that telly show from the 60's that Gene Reddenbacher was inspired to make (bloody-well stole every idea) from the 1956 movie Forbidden Planet with Leslie Nielson? Ah, now you know what show I'm talking about.

Anyways, I was able to re-create the transformation scene from my memory of the event! Would you like to see it?

Of course you would, otherwise you wouldn't have read this far.

Yup! I'm right back to normal!

Now it's time for me to go cautiously down the tunnel in search of alien brains, the control room, the head honcho, and a way back to Australia!

Stay tuned!

Short Video of Mama and Baby Koala

2010-05-18T10:20:00.002+09:30

Well, there's just not much else needs to be said about this...

No, this was not at a zoo or a wildlife enclosure. Shot this vid while out bushwalking with Wifey-Poo the other day.

Speaking of which, WP and I are heading on out to go hide in the woods for the day. Fingers, toes, and eyes are crossed for some good pics.

Sarah Palin Plotting The Demise of Anonymous Bloggers!

2010-05-16T16:48:00.002+09:30

And oh boy we had all better watch out! The Mean Girl Sarah Palin is definitely on a roll and has her groove back! I also have a candid picture of her plotting just how she'll get us and take over the world!

See, look!

If that's not an face hatching evil plots then I don't know what it is!

Just one glance in my direction of that mean girl glare of hers totally shocked me!

That evening I decided to channel my "inner" Sarah Palin and cook up some critters:

Mmmmmmm, soup stock in the making! I wonder if $arah Palin knows this recipe?

I then found peace and solitude with my chilli plants...

until I noticed one of her spies recording my every move!

Aiiiiiiiigh! Run away! Run VERY FAR AWAY!

*For you newbies here, I named one of the female galahs that hangs around in the backyard Sarah Palin. Not sure where I got the name from, but it sure did make for some interesting visitors to this blog in late 2008.*

Random Australia Pictures

2010-05-12T17:26:00.002+09:30

I'm working on some new 3d stuff to continue my completely, 100% true story of my alien abduction whilst I was a zombie with a lightning charged sledgehammer. So don't worry, you'll get to see how it all ends!

In the meantime...

Do you think I need new cycling gloves?

Noisy Miner Bird begging for handouts.

The two bougainvilleas out front flower all throughout the years.

It's amazing just how comfy koalas look...

Dunno what it is but it comes up from a bulb 1 or 2 times a year. The stalk the flowers are on was 6 feet tall this latest bloom.

The two Bird of Paradise plants out front are flowering, must be winter...

These are the flowers on one of the types of vines covering the back fence and around the pool. I step on them when I need to get to the pool filter. They flower yearround and there are a gazillion of them.

Tag! Splat! I'm It!

2010-05-10T11:07:00.002+09:30

Yep, I've tagged again. Ker-splat! Ti got me again, guess I didn't run fast enough, eh?

I always hated that game on the elementary school playground. Because of my dislike of the childhood game of tag, I usually don't pass them along. Butt I do post the tag. I think I'll pass this one along though.

I'm supposed to go to my 8th photo folder, find the 8th photo in it, and tell the story behind the particular photo in question. Fine, I can do that, no worries. I'm also supposed to pass it along to 2^3 folks. I'll pass it along, no worries. Maybe...

I went with my flickr account sets to find the 8th folder. Unfortunately there were only 2 in it and they were both vids. Since it was a vid folder I then went to the 9th folder which was the axshuual 8th photo folder. Did y'all follow that?

This folder was titled, "Me" so naturally I stood a very good chance of being able to make up some kind of crap about the picture that y'all might believe. Or I could tell the truth... Hmmmmmmmmm, decisions, decisions...

Well, for what it's worth, here is the picture:

Oh yeeeeeeeah!

This t-shirt tied for first place in my most coolest pressie of the Christmas just passed.

Here's what it tied with:

I can shoot water over 10 metres with this baby! Great pool toy!

Back to the t-shirt.

I like t-shirts, I pretty much live in them. Well, ok, sometimes I wear shorts too... Although I don't wear them when I sleep. Nude for me! Whoops, I'm starting to digress; back to the shirt.

Quite a few decades ago, whilst I was at Uni, I received a very nice t-shirt. It was from a girl I knew from hanging out and shooting pool with. And the bowling alley. And the pub. Is it any wonder I spent 10 years as an undergrad? Ole Sarah Palin didn't have nothin' on me when it came to goofing around as an undergrad! Although I never did pull a fire alarm in a dorm so she's ahead of me there, but I am one of the ones responsible for dorm floor parties being banned for a few years at ole UAF --so there, SP!

Anyways... this girl --whose name I've totally forgotten-- went to Disneyland for Spring Break. Naturally I asked her, quite suavely mind you, to "Cool! Bring me back a t-shirt!"

She did (yep, always have had a way with the babes) and here is what it was:

It obviously became one of my most favoritists t-shirts EVAH!

Fast-forward to the present, presently. My precious Goofy t-shirt was totally tattered. 25 years of me wearing and sweating in kinda did it in --and believe you me if you knew my sweat you'd be wondering how it lasted that long!

Around October of '09 one of my nice, kind, wonderful, loyal readers asks me if she can send me anything for Christmas. Since they are in SoCal somewhere I figured they'd know where a Disney store is in their neighborhood. Well, not only that but her niece was actually going to Disneyland soon!

A package arrived in late November. Wifey-Poo (the most wonderful woman in the entire world) made me put it under the Christmas tree. There it sat for a month until it's grand unveiling! I kinda had a general idea of what it might be, but dang this is just SOOOO COOL!

So thank you muchly to SV Meerkat, and I promise those DVDs I made for you will be in the post... tomorrow.

Now I get to tag 8 peoples...

How's abouts...

SV Meerkat
La Isla d'Lisa
Two Yaks
Up In Alaska
All About Her
Silicon Valley to Tanana Valley
Crazy in Alaska
Tundra Tantrum

Please don't feel any pressure on this tag, no worries.

This Is What Happens...

2010-05-07T16:23:00.002+09:30

...to you when you smoke too many sunflower seeds...

Jus' sayin'

Now THIS is my kind of menu!

Go on and guess which two items I'd have! Go'an, goan, guess miss smarty-pants!

Did you know that I like making bread? Making neato-type designs in it:

Any ideas as to how I made the design? If you'd like to make it yourself and ask real nicely-like then I'll tell you. It's axshuuallie simple.

The Cat

2010-05-05T16:14:00.002+09:30

His Royal Highness, Lord and Master of All He Surveys, Defender of The Rift, Protector of The Innocent, The All Powerful, King of The Realm, Defender of The Weak, Champion of The Just, Decapitator of Pigeons, Grand Sultan of South Australia, Bearer of The Fangs of Terror...

The

One,

*insert dramatic pause here*

The

Only,

Prince Bagheera!

Has anyone guessed by now that there is a very special cat that lets us share the house with him?

Whenever he has to go to the vet (this always involves copious amounts of blood loss on my part), the vet he sees ALWAYS remarks about how big his fangs are and how healthy his teeth are. I nervously tell him or her it's cuz he chews on my legs all day. They laugh, not realizing what is about to happen...

This

quickly becomes this as the vet tries to take his temp or give him a shot:

No prizes will be awarded for correctly guessing just WHO gets the shot and whose temperature gets taken!

Needless to say, we generally aren't welcome at the same vet twice. Neither is the cat.

I, however, have learned to live with (wait upon hand and foot) Bagheera. See? He can be nice:

And if has roastingly hot bricks to lay on

or some warm stairs to pose on

or some plants to sleep in

or perhaps a dirt-filled coffin to sleep in during the day

or maybe a lawn to flop on

and, of course, doing kitty porn whenever he wants to

and to pretty much hang out wherever he wants to

will hopefully prevent this

from becoming this too often!

Do you know how he likes to wake me up? Besides the nightly trampoline practice on my stomach at 2 AM, of course. He sits on the headboard above me, carefully puts a paw out, unsheaths an inch-long, razor-sharp claw, and stabs the end of my nose! Just imagine one of these waking you up:

The other day we had grilled lamb ribs for dinner. The cat reached up to the bone plate (without even having to stretch) and grabbed a rib. The next thing I here is the cat cracking and breaking the rib! I kid you not! Just glad it wasn't one of my bones.

He also likes to channel the Headless Horseman! Whenever he gets a pigeon or mouse or rat or lizard or wallaby or bunyip he always bites the head off in one chomp and eats it whole. No blood, no mess, just one very satisfied looking cat.

Switching gears!

Purdy!

Go on and try to guess which one is NOT a rainbow lorikeet!

Does anyone feel like captioning this?

Just How Stupid Am I?

2010-05-02T16:32:00.002+09:30

Oh ho! Yes, I heard that collective laugh from way up north all the way down here! Gots good hearing, dontcha know.

So, like, just how stupid am I? Am I stupid enough to ask you (and all the lurkers) for advice? Well, DUH! Of course, silly. Butt the importance of the title of this post with relations to my stupidity is WHAT I will ask you about.

If you have your speakers on, then you'll've probably guessed it may have something to do with a certain fermented beverage that I'm kinda fond of.

Do any of you remember my posts back in December of '09? No Karl, that's 2009. Specifically, the posts relating to my chilli beers.

Here, let me refresh your mammaries...

Just how the heck did I make this toxic brew?

It can be rather tasty.

And just what does it do to you?

And of course I had to invite a kindly old elf of my acquaintance to partake in some before his big night.

Fortunately, he was able to recover in time to make his yearly rounds.

I'm sure by now not only are you wondering why the h*ll I'm bringing this subject up but that you've torn your speakers into little, itty-bitty pieces and buried them alive --Quick! What movie was that line from?

The movie line I'm referring to is the "...should be torn into little, itty-bitty pieces and buried alive..." Wouldn't want to confuse you anymore than I already have. *wink*

So, why am I bringing this up? I'll tell you. Actually, I'll type it and you can read it.

I was doing some housecleaning today *gasp* and I found a full bottle tucked into a corner of the brew room.

It.

Had.

A.

BIG.

Chilli.

In.

It.

That's right! My last bottle of chilli beer. Bottled 6 months ago. With a six inch chilli pepper in it. Bubbling and fermenting away ALL. SUMMER. LONG. Keep in mind it can rather warm down here; in case you didn't know.

My question to you, dear gentle readers, is this: Should I drink it? And if I do drink it should I live-tweet the drinking or should I live-blog the drinking?

Your opinion really does matter to me so please feel free to use the comments to give me your answers, ta.

BTW Wifey-Poo thinks I should use it for stripping paint. I disagree as it'd probably dissolve whatever is under the paint too, also.

Guardian Of The Forgotten Trolls

2010-04-28T14:37:00.002+09:30

Does anyone remember the little teaser 3d shot from 2 posts ago? And I told you not to worry cus it's gonna be good?

Well, it is good.

And if you can't see the whole thing, just click on the pic below!

Monarchs!

2010-04-27T16:53:00.002+09:30

Yes, we have them down here in Oz. Why look, here's one now!

I wonder what the cat is dreaming of eating...

Pictures by Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human) and feel free to use them in whatever manner suits you --just gimme a credit, eh?

Sorry for the brief (as opposed to boxer shorts) but I'm working on something so very cool...

You know that odd sound in your ear?

2010-04-25T16:53:00.002+09:30

Oh c'mon, you know what I'm talking about. That ringing when you've had too much codeine! Or perhaps that low level hum that sounds just like your fridge running but every time you look at the fridge it's only walking?

But your BP checks out fine. So does your HR. And you haven't been over-imbibing of your favourite adult beverage which contains C2H5OH.

Hmmmmmmmm, just what, I say WHAT could be causing that humming or buzzing in your ear?

By chance you may have noticed your earwax running and being oh so much more tasty than it used to be...

Yes, I can be disgusting.

If you have noticed all of the above crud,

then

there

could

be

a

r
e
a
s
o
n
!

A little known, completely unscientific study down unda came up (or down) with the following conclusion. Please note this has not been peer reviewed in a journal! And since it's so much easier to show instead of tell, how's about a picture of the phenomenon.

You know that joke that goes something like, "There is no such thing as gravity, the Earth just sucks?" Yes, of course you've heard it before. Apparently, this bloke didn't get the memo...

Moving on...

Can you spot the butterfly?

Tick

tock

tock

tick

goes

the

blood-sucking

tick

It's much easier to spot in this closeup:

Good thing none of you are bug-eating birds cus otherwise you'd starve due to your lack of awesome eyesight!

Can you spot this one ten feet away?

I'm working on some 3d stuff that will be So. Bloody. Cool! Here's a peek at the work in progress...

Don't worry, it WILL be very cool lookin'!

And for those of you wondering about the size of 4 pregnant watermelons, the embedded song should just about be getting to that part... maybe...

Oh Baby, Let's DO!

2010-04-23T19:53:00.003+09:30

This will be some random crappola (does anyone know how to spell "crapola"????) as I just want to get up some pictures and also a video. And some 3d stuff.

Hint: the 3d stuff just may have something to do with the title of this post. Maybe. Perhaps.

Saw the hugest koala I've ever seen the other day. It was a huuuuuuuuge, monster koala! A koala the size of four pregnant watermelons.

**Quick, what song was I referring to in the above paragraph and can any of you long-time readers tell me whether or not I saw the performer of the above song in concert or not Comments are open, no worries.**

This koala also had some seriously big claws. Big claws. Really big claws. Her claws were so big I'm sure she was part bunyip! Judge for yourselves...

I'm damned lucky she was 50 feet up in the tree.

Has anyone ever wondered just how fast an emu can emu if an emu had to move? Wonder no further!

Later on she came back with her boytoy in tow. He was off to the left of the frame, but she posed and strutted and preened for me. Um, I mean for my camera of course.

And finally, that which you've all been waiting for with baited breath (pee-yu!), I present for your viewing pleasure that which has been referred to in the title of this post...

*drum roll please*

*no, a LOUDER drum roll*

*thank you*

Oh Baby, Let's DO!

And for those of you with a normal sized monitor (at least that what I heard), then please feel free to click on the picture below to bring it up into it's fullsized glory!

Love Thy Neighbor

2010-04-20T13:37:00.003+09:30

And put up with him. And let him pester you during the day to fix his computer. And help him move in three MASSIVE (bloody-well heavy, mate) rainwater tanks. And let him borrow any tools he needs. And keep an eye on his place when they are out of town.

Why?

Is it because I am a nice (don't swoon ladies, I'm human) guy?

No.

Well, actually, I AM a nice guy (ok, you can swoon now).

Why do I like my neighbor Frank?

He's one of those "salt of the earth" blokes. A country bloke. Tells it like it is. Loudly. Very loudly. But that's not why I like him.

Why do I "love my neighbor"?

Cus of where he (and his family) go during the school holidays. See, his wife --Mary, very nice lady-- is a school teacher and they are all from rural Vic just across the border.

His son, Jess --plays a damned good piano for a 13 year old, helps him out on the property over in Vic when they all head back.

What sort of property is it, you may ask?

He has vines.

As in vineyards.

Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of vines.

I do believe the grapes he grows are all contracted out to a local winery over there.

He brings The Most Awesomely Tasting Grapes back over here this time of year! And he has a permit so there's no quarantine!

Just look at the haul he dropped off yesterday:

Yes, BIL has really fuzzy arms.

These are the most succulent, firm, flavourful, tender grapes I've ever had. Heck, I even make sure I don't wash the 'stash or beard after eating Frank's grapes so that I can suck the juice outta my facial hair at 3 am! Yes, they are that good.

Doesn't that paint a pretty picture? Yes, I thought so.

And for putting up with me babblings, how's abouts some pictures?

Oi mate! Are you eating that piece of bread?

Damn I hate going to the bistro right when the kids get outta school!

Don't turn around mate! That bipedal pervert with the camera is watching us again and we don't want to encourage him.

Hey look! They actually DO move:

G'day Everyone!

2010-04-18T14:20:00.002+09:30

G'day from Oz!

To YOU! Yes, YOU! No, not that other you, butt YOU!

And, of course, let's not forget YOU!

Did y'all notice the poll over to the left of your screen --your left, not the screen's left?

There's a poll, there's a poll. There's a poll on the sidebar!

Go ahead and start thinking about that silly song... There's a hole, there's a hole. There's a hole in the bottom of the sea!

So do any of you have that tune in your head now? Do you think it'll still be there when you try to sleep tonight? Yes, you are welcome.

Back to the poll. I now have had double-digit return visitors for over 30 days straight. And that includes the time when I don't post for a few days too. Gosh, you all must really love me *sniff*! So go have a squizz at the poll and tell me what sort of direction you'd like the blog to go.

There is, of course, no guarantee that I won't laugh at the poll results and do whatever the heck I want to anyways. Jus' sayin'. But hey, it's worth a go, eh?

Do any of you want to know just what the ole Gov of South Aus used to read? Of course you do! How would I know? Lemme tell you.

WP and I were up at the old historic Old Government House in Belair National Park the other day and sauntered through it. The restoration folks have done a great job with it, btw. This was the summer residence of the Gov of South Aus back in the late 1800's. In the main living room there was an antique bookcase with lots of very old books in/on it.

See?

I had a quick squizz at some of the titles. I did a double-take when I got to this one particular book. And then another double-take!

One thing you folks in the US need to remember is that Australia wasn't settled by prudes. And South Oz wasn't settled by convicts* either! Here is a picture of the book in question:

Something tells me that this guy knows all about that book...

Anyways, go have a looksie at the poll and if you feel the need to contribute your little bit of feedback to Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human!) then GO FOR IT!

*When the Poms where shipping convicts to The Antipodes it was more to get rid of the poor and destitute so the prisons weren't overcrowded and neither were the slums. For example, the penalty for stealing a loaf of bread was to be shipped to Oz and when your multi-year sentence (for stealing a loaf of bread to feed your kids) was up you were then free to go. No, you didn't get a boat ride back to the heart of the Empire. Weren't the Poms nice back then?

Nesting Rainbow Lorikeets

2010-04-15T16:17:00.005+09:30

Wifey-Poo and I were hiding in the woods yesterday. Yes, I know, I still need to explain where the saying of "gone to hide in woods" comes from regarding WP and YT. But knot today.

Did you know that rainbow lorikeets (and pretty much all other parrots down here) nest in the hollows of various gum trees? Now you know! You're welcome.

Here's what a typical lorikeet lair can look like:

You see those clawmarks around the knothole? Perhaps you are thinking those are made by the parrots... You'd be wrong! Those are, of course, the claw marks of baby bunyips from when they were raiding the nest! It's true, I swear!

And for those of you perverts who think the knothole and it's surrounds look like something you'd see on THOSE sites. I have one word for you: PERVERT! And, uh, so like, when you gonna visit?

Back to the lorikeets. Here's one of them poking it's head out. I couldn't tell whether it was a bloke or a sheila from this distance.

Sooooooo cute!

In fact, I thought it was so cute that I went looking in some other tree cracks (shut up!) to see what kind of critters were in some of the larger cracks. It was all well and good until I stuck my head in one that had a juvenile bunyip in it! It grabbed my beard and tried to pull me in!

Fortunately my good friend Tom Bombadil was nearby and rescued me from the critters vile clutches!

Really! It's true! Would I lie to you? Well, only if I was paid what some former gov of Alaska who aborted her term partway through was paid... Like $12,000,000 in 8 short months! In that case I'd be more than happy to lie to you!

It Needed a Critter

2010-04-13T16:05:00.004+09:30

There's something rather fun about 3d artwork. Would you like to know what it is? Too bad, cus I ain't tellin'!

Well, ok, I'll squeal for you...

Lighting

Yes lighting. You can do SO MUCH with the proper lighting. And, of course, knowing how to drive the software you are using.

Shall we revisit the 3d sunset? Do you remember this?

Well, I decided that the scene needed a critter. But what type of critter, thought I? Hmmmm, dolphins jumping? Pelicans soaring? A shark devouring a person?

Decisions, decisions...

I finally decided upon something different.

In order to do what I wanted I needed to use Daz along with Terragen. I'm still learning Terragen and I've NEVER made anything in Daz (but I did beta test a tutorial) so I wasn't sure I'd have time earlier today to make what I wanted and still get a nap in. As it turned out, I didn't get my nap.

What saved me (as in this didn't take all day) is the fact that I know 3d lighting very well. I mean really, really well. And I'm also very good with surface specularosity, reflectivity, refractivity, coloring, and such like.

But I'm sure I'm boring you by now, so how's abouts I just give you the NEW sunset with "The Critter" in it. As is per usual on the large sized pics, just click on it to embiggen. It's 1280 by 960 and should resize itself nicely to use on a 4:3 screen for a wallpaper. If you have a widescreen then make sure you use a good program to resize it without the picture getting "the jaggies". I recommend Irfanview. It's free. It's very very very very very good.

Oh, would you like to see the sunset with The Critter? Of course you would. Here you are:

Last night I made stuffed squid tubes for dinner. Actually, everyone else had chicken... But I had my stuffed squid tubes!

The stuffing was brown rice, prawns, red bell pepper, seaweed, shrooms, garlic, chilli peppers and a lemony-wine sauce. I was happy.

Damned Good Just Ain't Good Enough For Yours Truly

2010-04-11T16:34:00.004+09:30

Nope, it is not. Especially when it comes to 3d artwork. And especially if I KNOW there is a way to fix it.

Remember the previous post? Ti mentioned that I did any abso-posi-lutely great job on the sunset. And, well, yeah, it was damned good.

But I just knew I could make the reddish, fiery, cloudy cave that can sometimes appear over the ocean in warmer climates as the sun dips down into the ocean. I know cus I seen 'em.

Needless to say, I learned a lot about 3d stuff today.

May I humbly present to you a tropical sunset which was done 100% by Yours Truly --don't swoon ladies, I'm human.

Click on the pic to embiggen it to 1280 by 960 and then feel free to use it as wallpaper, no worries.

You know, the more I looked at it, the more I thought that I could get the sun just dipping down into the ocean... I then came up with this:

Again, just embiggen it and snag it for your computer wallpaper.

Even then I wasn't satisfied...

So I blew the dust off a 17 year old morphing program --that was light-years ahead of it's time-- and played God as I made the sun set.

Yeah, I'm fairly pleased with how it turned out. Oh, I had to zoom way in on the sun the get the control points placed properly. Yes, I was actually wearing my darkest sunglasses with my nose about an inch away from the monitor.

If anyone likes my 3d stuff and would like to continue to see it appear RIGHT HERE then puh-leeeeeeez let me know. Comments are always open.

*sound of grinding gears*

Switching gears now! Guess what didn't get done today as I played with pixelly pixies? The algae was not getting scrubbed off the pool walls. I admit I have been a bit lax about cleaning the pool as it gets on towards winter down here. Do I really want to go for a swim when the water is 22 C --that'd be 71.6 F for those of you calculationally-challenged folks? Would you? No, thought knot.

I even have proof:

Next topic that I have time to write about before I go made dinner... I have new mushroom spoor for this season! About 4 kilos worth!!!! In about a month I'll have fresh shrooms all winter long! Woo-Hoo! Yay me!

I guess I'll share some with Wifey-Poo.

Ai Izz Uh Phailyur

2010-04-08T17:02:00.003+09:30

Didja eber halve one of "those" dayz?

Ok, I'll stop typing in cheezburger-speak now.

One of those days when nothing seems to go right? Or left?

I was going to dump this sunset render cus it's just WRONG! Didn't come out anything like I wanted. Blech. The undersides of the clouds aren't lit up in red tones, the sand STILL doesn't have the sandy-twilight color, and I totally f*ck*d up with the sun dipping down below the sea level horizon as astute perusers will note a SECOND horizon line halfway up the setting sun...

About the only good thing is that I finally carved some shallows properly so that their is some soft wave action on the beach in the lower right.

Otherwise... this sucks.

Don't click on this to embiggen it or you will be as disgusted as I am. The only reason I'm showing it to you (yes YOU, not that other lurker) is cus cus the d*mn*d thing took 2 hrs 28 mins and 4 bl**dy seconds to render! And I'd like to share with you the fact that I ain't always prephekt.

And I can't even take good caterpillar pics! This should be simple! They don't move quickly! They even pose! Sheesh. Bl**dy stupid cattapliers. grumble Just LOOK! One of the antennae is owt of phocus! Another photo phailyur by Yours Truly --don't swoon ladies, I'm still human.

You'd think that with me being a master chef and all, that I'd be able to make jellied ox tongue easily. Nope. My ox tongue DID NOT jelly-fy. Just look what I had to start with...

This is just won of those days when I decide to just do this for the next 16 hours...

When I Make A Pizza...

2010-04-06T14:44:00.003+09:30

I REALLY make a PIZZA!

Oh, the song you are listened to is one of them old hippy songs. The title is --you may have guessed this-- Everybody's Making It Big But Me by Dr Hook and the Medicine Show.

If you get tired of it, just have a squizz at the left sidebar and, ummmmm, well, gee, uh, you'll figure it out.

Back to the pizza!

When I make pizza, I make PIZZA.

Deep-dish

Thick-crust

Toppings piled HIGH

I gotta tell ya, I could only eat two (count em, 2) slices and have one (count it, one) beer last night at dinner before I. Was. Stuffed!

And to my interweb bud over in Sydney... Frances; what is your screen size?

The Birds 'n The Bees & Hiding In The Woods

2010-04-04T08:37:00.003+09:30

This'll be just a quickie on this Easter Sunday morning. Oh, did everyone in North America know that Easter is a 4 day weekend down here? Yup!

Ahhhhhhhhh

Not that it matters too much to me, ahem. *grin*

After consulting my crystal ball and deducing that the weather for the rest of this week will be utter crap (by Aussie standards, of course, folks in Los Anchorage would love it) we decided to take a day off and go hide in the woods.

So, like, we are, ummmmmm... OUTTA HERE!!!!!

Also this being a Sunday the historic Old Government House up at Belair will be open. So expect lots of cool pics and a write-up about that sometime this coming week.

To tide you over, here's some birds n bees pictures. Cus I'm nice.

Any guesses at to what kind of cockatoo the bloke in the salmon pink coat is?

And now for the bee:

And lastly, I've been trying to get some glacial ice and frozen surfaces using the free version of terragen basic. As you can see, I, quite obviously, still have some work to do:

I could have done some cleanup work to make the shoreline in the foreground look smoother, but I don't have the time right now as wifey-poo and I are OUTTA HERE!!!!

Oh, Francis over in Sydney won the contest from last post. What would you like Franics? Wallpapers? Screensaver? 3d work? Lemme know.

Alien Abduction Act X... Zombie dave Aboard The A.S.S.!

2010-04-02T17:03:00.004+10:30

Butt before we get to that, I have some things I need to get off my chest --like this tattoo that says "I love you, man!".

Y'all 'member last post? Oh, c'mon, the one where I used lots of swear words and was all pissy.

Ah yes, you do remember. Good.

I have been hoping that someone, anyone, would comment about it. Butt no, not a single one of you did. Did any of you try to tell me to lighten up? No. Did any of you offer a shoulder to cry on? No. Did I lose/gain any readers? Nope, not a chance --well, I may have lost some.

Did anyone realize it was one big, bloody joke???????? Not just No, butt HELL NO!

Witch brings me to my next thingy-doo-dad that I was tagged with a while back (just trawl through the last 10 posts or so and you'll figure it out): Just Another Thing You Won't Learn About Me By Reading This Blog!

I'm a nice guy.

Really, I am.

No, seriously! I am!

When BIL (shall we just call him "Mike"?) got his Masters degree just who do you think had the video recorder set up on the tripod so that MIL (shall we just call her "mum"?) could see her youngest obtain serious accolades? Yup, Yours Truly (that's me, don't swoon ladies as I'm human) was not only doing the duties but he also took Mike to a celebratory lunch at a high-class pub afterwards.

Every week I do a mechanical once-over of mum's wheelchair.

Wifey-Poo gets massages whenever she needs them.

I give rides to strangers. Yes, I really do. There was one time when I was dropping off WP and mum at the doctors office when a very lost Nigerian gentlemen asked me for directions to a side street in the area. Once I made sure that WP and mum were fine I tried to direct him to the street in question. I could see that he was not going to be able to find his way so I gave him a lift to not only the street but to the house where he needed to go.

I also fetch items off of high shelves in the grocery store for little old ladies and gentlemen. In fact it has sorta become a habit that when I see someone elderly stopped in the aisle looking up that I do ask if they need anything from up high. 9 times out of 10 they do.

I took Mike grave-robbing so many times for the research of his PHD that I still respond to calls of, "Hey, Igor!"

The last time we moved house it took A LOT of trips in a rental truck. Guess who did the driving and moving without too much bitching? Yup, Yours Truly.

I've stayed up all night for a week keeping an eye on mum when she was going through a "bad patch".

I've rescued orphaned, baby mouses.

And if any of you ever decide to come down for a visit I can promise that you'll have a place to crash at, be fed gourmet meals (unless I'm cooking --I JOKE!), hang out in the pool, have loads of good home brew, and I'll even pick you up from the airport --or the beach if you came by boat.

So do ANY of you really think that I was really swearing and bitching like that in the last post?

**************************************************************************

Next topic...

Pretty birdy picture! I'm sure all my regular readers will immediately recognize this bloke...

Those are some really, seriously, cool-looking claws!

**************************************************************************

As my regulars will also know, I like playing around with 3d programs. Been doing that for almost ten years now. I am, however, still trying to get good glacial ice with, ahhhhh, inexpensive (free) programs. But I do have sunset colours down quite well as the beach faces westward here and we are about a mile from it.

What do you think of this?

Here's a contest for you:

Did dave, Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human), make this sunset in 3d? Or did he actually take this photograph? Or did he shamelessly steal the image from an online source?

The first correct answer in the comment section wins something. Don't know what but I'm sure the winner and I will come to some sort of arrangement.

And now what you've all been waiting for...

Alien Abduction Act X My arrival onboard the A.S.S.!!!!!!!

Just a quickie recap for you, the name of the alien craft is A.S.S. which, of course, stands for Alien Space Ship. Well, what else could it mean? Perverts. And remember that the rego of the A.S.S. is C4P-PFP2012 and in my zombie state at the time I had no idea what that meant.

C'mon, as any zombie I was just wanting to eat some brains!

In case you have joined me late, here's a quick pic recap!

Which, of course, brings us to my stealthy arrival in a corridor of the A.S.S. This was just before I materialized --please note the A.S.S. is parked above Oceania!

And then there's a bright flash!

And I slowly start to materialize...

Hmmmmm, something appears to be slightly wrong with dave...

Yes folks, my smashing of the pyramid atop my house with my lightning-charged sledgehammer whilst in my zombie state had caused the alien transporter beam to become totally discombobulated! It had somehow taken my awesome brainpower and shoved it into my muscles!

And just what type of aliens would I find aboard the A.S.S. rego'd as C4P-PFP2012? And would there be any brains at all for me to eat?

Those 2 questions (and probably lots more) just might be answered soon so STAY TUNED to this channel!

Rantin n Raving, Rootin n Tootin! NSFW --UPDATED

2010-03-29T16:06:00.003+10:30

Sh*t

D*mn

F*ck

Bl**dy-H*ll

P**ce-*f-cr*p

M*th*r-F*ck*ng-*s*l*ss-P**ce-*f-Sh*t

As you may have been able to surmise, I'm not a wee happy camper this arvo. But at least I didn't use the "c" word.

Wifey-Poo's d*mned, stupid, useless, p**ce-*f-cr*p, system has been jacking around and it's up to ME --of course-- to fix the f*ck*ng thing. Ok, no worries. Spend most of the day yesterday up to my eyeballs in software cr*p. No joy.

Fine.

Gonna bring the d*mn*d thing back up on factory specs --after spending all morning backing up a terrabit or two of data along with all the d*mn*d program files. *grumble, f*ck, sh*t*

And then just when I'm ready to do the ole format... MORE SH*T HAPPENS! See, BIL is in the final stages of his PHD and he (for some unknown g*dd*mn*d reason) won't hook up printers to his laptop. Since BIL needs the 3 printers 2nite and tomorrow, guess what I have to put on hold?

Yep, the whole f*ck*ng job of fixin' WP's system. Of course I can't use mine either! Why? Cus WP is!

*Now where the h*ll did I put that d*mn*d sledge-hammer?*

Aaaaaaaaand MIL has to have some scrips from the pharmacy today. Guess who has to go get them? Go on, GUESS! Yep, yours truly. Bl**dy-h*ll. I was hoping to do her huge pharm run on Thursday but, as usual, she waits till she's out before telling me.

%*&@##@$@$*$%^%!!!!!!!!!

*insert sounds of hair being torn our here*

This is how I feel RIGHT NOW!

Or maybe like this...

Don't f*ck with me today!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sometimes I feel like doing this:

Did you ever want to flip off the whole d*mn*d world?

And since y'all have graciously put up with my cr*p today, I have a pressie for you. It's a picture, of course.

I actually feel much better for typing all this cr*p. Thanks for letting me spew for a bit! And I also feel better knowing that none of the rest of the clan will know what I put in their dinner!

BWUU-HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!

UPDATE: Wifey-Poo and I have put our "gone to hide in woods" plan for the day on hold. Why? Cus BIL is sure to need help today with all three printers and getting driven around to various places today.

Blech.

Turning water into ice using Terragen Basic

2010-03-27T16:08:00.004+10:30

As some of my regulars may have surmised, I have not always been down unda in the land of eternal summer, warm water, beautiful beaches, and scantily clad bikini bimbos. And I sure hope Wifey-Poo ain't reading this...

Anyways, I'm from the land of eternal darkness, extreme cold (even in the "summer"), where everyone lives in igloos and dog mushes to work.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I have sort of a passing acquaintance with ice. As in I know what it looks like in various forms and settings. This knowledge naturally leads me, of course, to 3d work.

As in, how the heck to get the water in Terragen Basic ver0.9.43 to look like a frozen over fiord? It's fairly easy to get snow and ice on the ground using various surface mapping layers, but what about freezing the water?

I've even checked out some online galleries to see if anyone else had done --nope. Although I'm sure someone has, I just didn't feel like wasting more than 45 seconds searching.

So I kinda played around with the water on the computer screen to see if I could make the ocean/bay/lagoon look frozen.

Of course I could --duh, otherwise I wouldn't be telling you about it.

I wasn't really concerned with the mountains, snow, clouds, or sun. My main attention was on the water.

Here's what I ended up with. Two pics, one is straight out of Terragen and the other is after I did some post work with Irfanview. Lemme know which one looks better as far as the ice goes, PLEASE!

Just click on each to embiggin them, no worries. For those of you up in "winter wonderland" regions lemme know what you think, ta.

Now for the nuts n bolts of the water settings in case any Terrageners stumble upon this post. Tell you what, how's about I just upload screen caps of the water settings? Much easier than doing a bunch of typing.

Don't worry about a serious post like this becoming a staple (OUCH! It went through my finger!) of this blog as I'll soon be returning you to your regularly scheduled sillyness.

In fact, I've modeled my 3d zombie body with my head on it and am ready to run amok through the corridors and caves of the A.S.S. --Alien Space Ship-- while searching desperately for brains to eat as I was still an undead, brain-eating zombie at this point.

So, like, stay tuned, eh?

Photographic Evidence of an Australian Bunyip!

2010-03-25T09:31:00.003+10:30

And here y'all thought them's wuz mythical kreechurs!

Nope. Bunyips do exist. One just has to know where to find them, what their sign looks like, what they like to eat, and what they aren't.

And what they sound like! The sound you are hearing right now is an actual recording of a bunyip. There's the occasional parrot screech, of course, but the low level grunting is the bunyip. I think there were two of them. I, However, was not about to go into the bushes to count the bunyips cuz they are very very deadly and are the reason that koalas climb very high into the trees!

The first thing to finding a bunyip is finding a nice, dense, eucalypt forest. There are plenty of them down here in Australia which probably accounts for the reason they live here.

Just look for something like this:

You now need to look for some bunyip "sign". Their sign looks like giant, spiny, hollow, moose nuggets! Here's one I saw that instantly told me I was in bunyip territory!

The spinyness of the "sign" definitely accounts for why they are always so pissed off.

Next, we needed to set up some bunyip bait!

It's not that bunyips like sushi and champagne in the middle of the woods, but they like the way people taste AFTER aforementioned people have eaten the sushi and drank the champagne!

Of course you have to deal with all the other critters that are attracted to your sushi bait.

Punk-Rocker emus LOVE sushi!

This is not a bunyip. This is an Australian magpie --about the size of an Alaskan raven and very territorial!

And wherever you see eastern rosella parrots you'll be sure to find bunyips as the rosella make a nice appetizer for a juvenile bunyip.

I knew I had to be getting close to a bunyip lair! I noticed these galahs were not looking at me but they were instead looking past me into the bushes behind me!

I was thinking of shouting a warning to this bloke as he sped past me. See, I know for a fact that this path dead-ends and it's in the heart of bunyip country!

I hadn't seen the cyclist for well over 30 minutes when I decided to go investigate. I didn't have to go too far to find the bunyip lair!

Yikes! A lair of the dreaded Australian bunyip!!!!!

I found the bike, a torn jersey, mangled helmet and blood and gore nearby. No pictures of that as I was too busy puking my guts out! Just then, I heard a sound from the lair and turned towards it, camera ready!

And

I

saw

an

actual

bunyip!

I quickly jumped on the bike and high tailed it outta there! I think the only reason why I made it out alive is that the bunyip was quite obviously still digesting the cyclist!

True story! *ahem*

Even truer than my ongoing alien abduction saga, you betcha. *wink*