Attack of The Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Double-Headed Double-Tailed Parrot Goons!

Is anyone else familiar with the ground-breaking works from that famous scribe, Mr Watterson? No? Well then the post title will make absolutely no sense to you.

But it makes sense to me, so there.

Before I get to that, there's just one little thing I need to clear up with all my thousands of new readers. It concerns my back. Not my front (that works just fine thankyouverymuch), but my back.

Now, I could just link to the post from 20 months ago but I'm not going to. Why not? This way it'll make this post longer! Besides, it's my damned blog and I can do what I want with it!

Here's the post titled Oops, I did it again

*********************************************** (this is my nifty break betwixt sections, cool, eh?)

Oops, I did it again
No, I'm not a fan of modern music, nor of pop music. I did go through the ole top 40 phase when I was in my early early teens. Thankfully I grew out of it. However, it sure is a good title for this post.

If you're looking for something funny today from Yours Truly (that'd be me), then I can type to you right now to tell you this is not going to be one of my more funny ones cus I's isn't in no mood ta be a laughin'! Besides, it hurts too much to laugh...

How's abouts that for a bit of foreshadowing? Hey, if I do that 3 more times it'll be fourshadowing! Ha Ha! I crack me up. Ok, I take it back, this one might be a little bit funny as(s) the latest round of painkillers kick in... ahhhhh...

Before I tell you all what's going on, let me give you a tomato(e) update. For you newbies, we've got 3 wonderful tomato(e) plants growing in pots this season and we're hoping to get 80 to 100 pounds of fresh, organic tomatoes throughout this season.

Here's the current numbers:

Total weight of tomatoes harvested: 795 grams (1 and 3/4 pounds)
Total number of tomatoes harvested: 6
Number of tomatoes currently on vines: 67
Number of tomatoes currently ripening on vines:4

Growing right next to the tomatoes is a big hanging basket of basil. Tomatoes and basil make good companion plants: they each keep the other very healthy. When you grow basil, you can keep it bushing and producing leaves all season long: whenever one of them looks like it's going to try to flower, just snip that one off an inch or so below the flowering part (that way you'll have fresh leaves that evening, and the stem that's left has plenty of leaves). The snipped stem will then split off in two new stems and you'll soon end up with a huge bushy hanging basket of basil for 6 months. How's that for a gardening tip?

Next Topic:

Did you know that I used to be (am still kinda am) very phsically active and an athlete in 6 different sports? I did a lot of other sports, but only competed in 6 throughout the years. Oh, I count xc running and marathon running as one sport, btw.

A quick condensed recount of various athletic endeavours I have done over the last 40 years:

Got 2nd in a xc ski race a week after the leg cast came off

I've run a marathon (all on trails)

I've done an ultramarathon through mountains

Ridden over 200 miles on a road bike in 13 hours solo and unsupported

Done the same on a mountain bike but in 20 hours

Was a State Epee Fencing Champion and runner up in Foil and Sabre

Taught at a University PE Dept for 8 years

Did 20 snowboard runs at Skiland in one day; before it opened for the season so I hiked up the whole thing each run

Bowled 22 strikes in a row when I was 16

All of those things took an uncounted number of hours, days, weeks, months, and years practicing. You kinda get the idea: I was in damned good shape. And that's not to mention the freight tossing around either.

Now for the other side of the coin...

I've broken a leg

I've torn knee cartilege

Broken an arm

Broken a hand

Broken many fingers

Evulsion fractures on both ankles

Cracked ribs

Concussions

Too many bruises to count

Broken foot (twice)

Too many twisted ankles to count

Broken toes

Left face on pavement when I was five

A hunk of rebar decided to try and jam itself into my knee when I was 10

Hit by a car (twice)

Hit by a motorcycle

Pulled too many muscles to count


Now, all of those resulted in fairly superficial injuries which have all healed up nicely, no worries.

HOWEVER... I do have a wee bit of a problem with my back, and, quite frankly, I'm SHOCKED at what I was able to do athletically with a back like mine.

Here's the lowdown on my back:

My left pelvis is 12 mm lower than my right

My spine curves off to the left after it leaves my pelvis

Shortly after my spine leaves the pelvis it consists of 4 compressed vertebrae in a row

My spine then starts to curve to the right, resulting in my right shoulder being lower than the left (but I'm getting better with that)

When my spine becomes my neck, it encounters 2 neck vertebrae in a row that are TWISTED wrongly by about 10 degrees


So what happens when I do something stupid with my back? Say, like lift something heavy the wrong way... Well it's been so long since I've done that I can't say! See, lifting properly is such a second nature to me that I don't even have to think about it. The last time I had to move the Clan Household I did like 13 runs in a freight truck over 10 days or so and didn't have a single problem with my back! In fact, a lot of my strength returned then.

So what did I do yesterday morning that has me whinging and whining about my back? Here's what I did:

I had just fed the local parrots (up to 18 in the morning and 10 in the evening!!!) and I was filling a watering container for starting the mornings' watering of juicy tomato(e) plants, grape vines, and other goodies. I leaned slightly over to turn on the outside water spigot. While I was leaned over I coughed to clear some mucus from my lungs... INSTANT shooting pain down both sides of my lumbar regions where the comressed vertebrae are! OUCH!

Oh the embarrasment! I had to tell my wife (she'd have seen me hobbling around anyways) what happened. Personally I'm kinda glad it didn't happen by lifting wrong. But leaned over and coughing?????????? Go back and read through all that athletic stuff I did! I'm supposed to be tougher than that, gah!

Fortunately, I have everything I need to treat it and I know exactly what to do for it when it's like this. Also, my chiro has my back nice and loose so things click back into place easily... Lots of ice, liquid muscle relaxants, lots of anti-inflammatories, lots of muscle relaxants, laying in the proper positions, more liquid muscle relaxants, move around so things don't tighten up, lots more ice, even more liquid muscle relaxants etc etc etc

I'm sure you all realiz(s)e there are some things you CAN'T do when your back is like this, there are some things you CAN do but hurt like hell, and one or two things you HAVE to do no matter how excrutiatingly painful they are...

Can you think of something you HAVE to do but is so painful you'd rather die??? Can you? Let me give you a hint: as soon as my back is better I'm installing a bidet so next time I hurt my back I won't be afraid to go number 2.


*******************************************************

Go ahead, click on the two links up there. It's darned good entertainment and only one or two swear words.

Since you've read this far, here's AN ACTUAL PHOTO of The Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Double-Headed Double-Tailed Parrot Goon (I should get an award for this pic!)



R

U



R
E
A
D
Y
?
?


Which way to Kodiak?



Fortunately, I have a protector to protect me from the Mutant Bird --thus eliminating the need for a garden hose at midnight.

Hey! WAKE UP!





Yawn... Hmmm, sounds like one of my servants is here to feed me.




No, I need you to take care of The Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Double-Headed Double-Tailed Parrot Goon!

Oh, I'll CERTAINLY get right to it.




Meanwhile, Sarah Palin grins gleefully as she plots to sue the cat:





BTW, did I tell you my back hurts? I did? Well I'll tell you again: My Back Hurts!

Oh, the latest batch of homemade feta came out of the brine this morning --best batch yet! Half a pound went back in the brine, half a pound went on the smoker at noon (we're already done with that --AWESOME), and the last pound is for eating the next day or two (if it lasts that long).

And the herbed pull-apart cobb is baking in the oven to have with my extra special chicken soup. The soup is made with beer; hence the extra-specialness of it.

o.u.c.h.

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Wee-hoo! what F*CKING FUN!

How did it happen? I was sitting on the toilet early this morning; doing nothing untoward, BTW.

That's it! Pop, snapple, crack!

Painful.

And stinky this time too.

Do I need to tell you just how painful wiping was? No, I didn't think I needed to tell you, so I shall'nt.

20 ibuprofens so far... lots of ice... lots of magic spray... much cursing from YT... and not even much sympathy from WP! Waaaah, wah, whine, sniffle...

There And Back Again. Chapter Ten. Still In The Darkness

Yes, we've got one more day in the Wet Cave. Actually, we were in it for only an hour in real time, but it's going to be a day in blogging time.

The chambers in Wet Cave are really huge. Very high ceilings and massive stalactites. Add to that the tree ferns in the entranceway and it's very impressive.

I've picked 31 of my best photos from the cave, so as before you get them in slideshow format and also a link to the flickr page for the clickable thumbnails.

There has been quite a few rainbow lorikeets hanging around lately. Since I haven't put up too many purdy burdie pictures due to the caving posts, I figured y'all might wanna see a few of the birds.

Just a few, mind you. Well, at least enough to set siege to the KoKon Bunker.



















As you can tell, they can get quite enthusiastic during brekky.

I, however, am not feeling too enthusiastic this morning. Last night I "did" my back. Nothing new as I've had to be very careful with it over the years. It's actually been 16 months since I've done it this bad. The pisser of it this time is that I did absolutely NOTHING to account for it.

Last night we had a nice Mexican meal (there are no good Mexican restaurants in Adelaide so to do it right I've got to make it myself), watched a couple of episodes of Torchwood on dvd (I was comfortably ensconced in the bean bag), got up, scritched the beast (didn't even need stitches afterwards), and started to walk to the back to shut down mission control for the night.

As I went through the kitchen I noticed my back was starting to ache in an oh-so-familiar-way. By the time I got to the back room I was in agony.

Shit. Gonna be a fun week.

But that won't stop me from posting all about the Naracoorte Cave trip, no sirree! Besides, I seemed to have picked up some new readers lately and I'm sure they'll want to see all my scribbling on maps (we took a different route home, unlike Bilbo) and hear about the nice country towns, and villages, and shacksinthemiddleofnowhere. Besides, I'm sure you want to see the pictures of the giant 30 foot lobster.

So stay tuned, eh?

Meanwhile, we get to finish out Wet Cave. This slideshow has 31 of my pics from the cave where I tried to give you an idea of the scale of this sucka. No one in OhighO should feel claustrophobic, and no one in Massatoochits should get seasick.

As usual, here's a link to the clickable thumbnail page, courtesy of flickr.

And here's the slideshow. Remember, just click on the little box on the lower right of the slideshow to play it full screen. It's worth it!





Next post we take lunch at Bool Lagoon. But first I need to refresh my icepack, get some liniment on my back, use the magic spray, score some codeine, and get some liquid muscle relaxants.

I'm Still Here!!!!

Oi! G'Day, mates!

Why have I not updated for two weeks? Well, my wireless adapter died so I didn't have access to the house's wireless broadband. In this area dialups are disgustingly slow so it's pretty much impossible to blog.

After I called telstra to get a new adapter, they didn't even send out the new one for 10 days! I've been back up for 2 days now (catching up on work, gack) and I've got loads of stuff to post (including a really cool tag). Let's not forget the fact my back gave out 8 days ago... sigh...

In the meantime (till monday (holiday down unda) or tuesday), please enjoy this pic of a galah making a bombing run at the feeder.

Galahs and Rainbow Lorikeets

Well... I guess I really (k)need to thank Cathy for not only not getting mad at me, but even giving me my own post on her blog! What a gal! For those of you visiting my site from a region NOT wintery, she has some great dog mushing and snowmachining shots up. So go take a squizz!

Note: Squizz is aussie slang for 'taking a look at'. See, nothing wrong with using 'squizz' now, is there?

Some of you visit my wee little corner of this particular universe in search of pretty bird pics. Well, I'm, happy to say today, "Here ya go, mate!"


Pardon me, but is this ledge taken?



Oi, mate! Take the damn shot cus my wings are killing me from holding this damn pose for ya!


Some of you visit to read my sometimes funny stories of me... well, not today! Cus I can't sit in the chair long enough to type. It's my back... here, read this and you'll understand. This ain't to say that I've ran out of stories (HA!), or ran out of humo(u)r (HA!); it's just that it might be a day or two before I can sit still for a spell.

Some of you have visited from the chess gaming site I'm a member of wanting pics of my chess table that I made from scratch and the dragon and faerie pieces I have. Well, you'll have to wait just a tad bit longer (I'm REALLY gonna try to get the chess post up this arvo, no promises though).

Now I have to go rest... time for my mid-morning nap :)

Dazed and Confused

Gee, I wonder just how many times that's been used as a blog post title? Probably waaaaaay too many to count! Note: I'm too lazy to go to google and search on the phrase; if'n any of you would like to then please be my guest. Maybe this'll be up at the top? HA! Doubt it.

Why am I "dazed and confused"? Ummmmmm, it's just a little thing called painkillers so pay it no mind.

Tried using the stationary bike the other day (didn't want to hit the road with my back being like it is) and only lasted 12 mins before calling it a day. HR didn't even hit 120 and I was never breathing hard but my back was sure letting me know. The next day it was calling me several unrepeatable names --well, since my blog is rated R I suppose I could repeat them, but I'm not going to.


NEXT TOPIC

On a personal note, I finally got an email through (I hope) to the old fart (my dad). So perhaps you might see some snide, sarcastic comments popping up irregularly from a grizzled old geezer up in the frozen north. Hmmmmmm, perhaps I should've waited until AFTER the xmas check from him arrives before typing that...


NEXT TOPIC

Number 2 and number 3 on the 7 weird things about yours truly.

#2  I am doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to commerate my 100th post! How many bloggers can say that, eh?

#3 Have you ever been driving down a single lane country road and come up on a car going around or under the speed limit? Of course you have. Now, let's say it's a twisty, turny road that's hard to pass on and the two people in the slower car are obviously sight-seeing and just toodling along without a care in the world. Wouldn't that get you upset? Now, imagine your surprise when the slower car pulls over and lets you pass and gives you a friendly wave!!! Yup, that driver of the slower car would be me! Weird, huh?


NEXT TOPIC

My tomato(e) plants are doing quite well (slurp!!!). Here's the latest numbers:

Total weight of tomatoes harvested (and eaten): 1.430 kg (3.15 pounds)
Total number of tomatoes harvested: 13
Number of tomatoes currently on vines: 72
Number of tomatoes currently ripening on vines: 7

YUM!!!!!!


NEXT TOPIC

Couldn't let you go without giving you a birdie pic. Ummmm, this is what I get for using the auto-focus... Notice how nice and crispy clear the tree in the background is?

Oops, I did it again

No, I'm not a fan of modern music, nor of pop music. I did go through the ole top 40 phase when I was in my early early teens. Thankfully I grew out of it. However, it sure is a good title for this post.

If you're looking for something funny today from Yours Truly (that'd be me), then I can type to you right now to tell you this is not going to be one of my more funny ones cus I's isn't in no mood ta be a laughin'! Besides, it hurts too much to laugh...

How's abouts that for a bit of foreshadowing? Hey, if I do that 3 more times it'll be fourshadowing! Ha Ha! I crack me up. Ok, I take it back, this one might be a little bit funny as(s) the latest round of painkillers kick in... ahhhhh...

Before I tell you all what's going on, let me give you a tomato(e) update. For you newbies, we've got 3 wonderful tomato(e) plants growing in pots this season and we're hoping to get 80 to 100 pounds of fresh, organic tomatoes throughout this season.

Here's the current numbers:

Total weight of tomatoes harvested: 795 grams (1 and 3/4 pounds)
Total number of tomatoes harvested: 6
Number of tomatoes currently on vines: 67
Number of tomatoes currently ripening on vines:4

Growing right next to the tomatoes is a big hanging basket of basil. Tomatoes and basil make good companion plants: they each keep the other very healthy. When you grow basil, you can keep it bushing and producing leaves all season long: whenever one of them looks like it's going to try to flower, just snip that one off an inch or so below the flowering part (that way you'll have fresh leaves that evening, and the stem that's left has plenty of leaves). The snipped stem will then split off in two new stems and you'll soon end up with a huge bushy hanging basket of basil for 6 months. How's that for a gardening tip?

Next Topic:

Did you know that I used to be (am still kinda am) very phsically active and an athlete in 6 different sports? I did a lot of other sports, but only competed in 6 throughout the years. Oh, I count xc running and marathon running as one sport, btw.

A quick condensed recount of various athletic endeavours I have done over the last 40 years:

Got 2nd in a xc ski race a week after the leg cast came off

I've run a marathon (all on trails)

I've done an ultramarathon through mountains

Ridden over 200 miles on a road bike in 13 hours solo and unsupported

Done the same on a mountain bike but in 20 hours

Was a State Epee Fencing Champion and runner up in Foil and Sabre

Taught at a University PE Dept for 8 years

Did 20 snowboard runs at Skiland in one day; before it opened for the season so I hiked up the whole thing each run

Bowled 22 strikes in a row when I was 16

All of those things took an uncounted number of hours, days, weeks, months, and years practicing. You kinda get the idea: I was in damned good shape. And that's not to mention the freight tossing around either.

Now for the other side of the coin...

I've broken a leg

I've torn knee cartilege

Broken an arm

Broken a hand

Broken many fingers

Evulsion fractures on both ankles

Cracked ribs

Concussions

Too many bruises to count

Broken foot (twice)

Too many twisted ankles to count

Broken toes

Left face on pavement when I was five

A hunk of rebar decided to try and jam itself into my knee when I was 10

Hit by a car (twice)

Hit by a motorcycle

Pulled too many muscles to count


Now, all of those resulted in fairly superficial injuries which have all healed up nicely, no worries.

HOWEVER... I do have a wee bit of a problem with my back, and, quite frankly, I'm SHOCKED at what I was able to do athletically with a back like mine.

Here's the lowdown on my back:

My left pelvis is 12 mm lower than my right

My spine curves off to the left after it leaves my pelvis

Shortly after my spine leaves the pelvis it consists of 4 compressed vertebrae in a row

My spine then starts to curve to the right, resulting in my right shoulder being lower than the left (but I'm getting better with that)

When my spine becomes my neck, it encounters 2 neck vertebrae in a row that are TWISTED wrongly by about 10 degrees


So what happens when I do something stupid with my back? Say, like lift something heavy the wrong way... Well it's been so long since I've done that I can't say! See, lifting properly is such a second nature to me that I don't even have to think about it. The last time I had to move the Clan Household I did like 13 runs in a freight truck over 10 days or so and didn't have a single problem with my back! In fact, a lot of my strength returned then.

So what did I do yesterday morning that has me whinging and whining about my back? Here's what I did:

I had just fed the local parrots (up to 18 in the morning and 10 in the evening!!!) and I was filling a watering container for starting the mornings' watering of juicy tomato(e) plants, grape vines, and other goodies. I leaned slightly over to turn on the outside water spigot. While I was leaned over I coughed to clear some mucus from my lungs... INSTANT shooting pain down both sides of my lumbar regions where the comressed vertebrae are! OUCH!

Oh the embarrasment! I had to tell my wife (she'd have seen me hobbling around anyways) what happened. Personally I'm kinda glad it didn't happen by lifting wrong. But leaned over and coughing?????????? Go back and read through all that athletic stuff I did! I'm supposed to be tougher than that, gah!

Fortunately, I have everything I need to treat it and I know exactly what to do for it when it's like this. Also, my chiro has my back nice and loose so things click back into place easily... Lots of ice, liquid muscle relaxants, lots of anti-inflammatories, lots of muscle relaxants, laying in the proper positions, more liquid muscle relaxants, move around so things don't tighten up, lots more ice, even more liquid muscle relaxants etc etc etc

I'm sure you all realiz(s)e there are some things you CAN'T do when your back is like this, there are some things you CAN do but hurt like hell, and one or two things you HAVE to do no matter how excrutiatingly painful they are...

Can you think of something you HAVE to do but is so painful you'd rather die??? Can you? Let me give you a hint: as soon as my back is better I'm installing a bidet so next time I hurt my back I won't be afraid to go number 2.