I Am In Serious Need Of HELP!

Yes, I finally do admit it. I need help. I'm sure that all my regular readers will have figured this out yonks ago, but I thought it is time to make it official!

HELP!!!!!

Normally (HA!) when I put up pics of critters for you to identify I already know what the critter is. Cuz I'm all smart like that.

But not this time. And I don't have time to wade through tomes of information to identify these critters. Why? Cus I'm in the middle of turning into a big, tanned prune (a highly chlorinated one at that) and I don't want to interrupt the process.

So I'm asking for YOUR help!

3 of these flying critters showed up in the backyard yesterday and I haven't seen them since.



Now, obviously they are some kind of pigeon or dove. And, of course, they appear to be of a domestic variety.

The problem is they aren't listed in any of my Aussie bird books (yes, they list imports too) as to the exact variety. So I was really hoping that some of my readers might get together and shine so light on the subject!

Kinda like this:

Just imagine some angels singing.

And if y'all can identify the exact type I will be forever grateful! And I promise to stop mooning the camera!

Hmmmmm, better get the mooning out of my system now...

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If you've made it this far then you obviously are!

The thievesssss. The dirty, little Thievesss. They stole it from us, my Preciousssss.

*please take notice, anything NOT in italics needs to be read in Smeagol's voice. You'll figure out the italics on your own, I'm sure*



Nasssssty little creature stole it from us, they did. Yesssss, my precious, they did... But how? How can we find the nasty thief who stole it from us?

My


Prrrrrrecious...

Look! It's gone!




Who could it be, precious? Who could it BEEEEE?

I know, my precious. Let's askes the nasty crittersssssss...




No, no. Not THAT one, my precious.

Ohhhh, my precious. This one looks guilty, doesn't itsssss.

No, so sorry to disappoint my good fellow, but I was asleep the whole time you see.

Oh, perhaps. We shall see. Oh yes, we shall ssssseeeeee!


No, not these two tricksessss. We hatess their eyeses, we do!




Aaaaaagh! Get its AWAY!!!! Gets its AWAAAAAAY!




Aiiigh! The sunlight burnses us, it does my precious! Could not have been that one!

I say, my good fellow. Would you be so kind as to fetch us a crumpet?

Oh my precious... we must finds the filthy little thief! Yes, we must!

I say, my good man. I've been out here all afternoon and couldn't possibly have stolen anything.


Oh no, my precious. Not this one. This one couldn't possibly have stolen it!




But what about this one, my precious?

*snore*



This one lookssesss guilty, my love.

Nope, not me.



Coulds its be this one, my precious?

Yo Adrian!



Ahhhh, see my precious? We've founds its! Yes, the thief!

If I had done it then I wouldn't have left evidence.



But who? Who could it be, precious??? Aiiiiigggghhhh!

No, not this one silly...

*pppphhhhbbtbtt*



Oh my precious, we are close, yes we are!




Ah! The Thief! The nasty, little THIEF!





*Editors note*

In order to keep my drumstick-like calves attached to the rest of my body --as opposed to being inside a panther's belly, I decided to give the cat a nice meal of fish that evening.

Morning View Between My Naked Hairy Legs

Well, actually, ummmmmm, gosh... this was the view between my naked hairy legs at 7 am while I was in the pool lounger. Just thought I'd be a bit more specific than what a blog title can be.

HOWEVER! Here's a pic of a sulfur-crested cockatoo for all you bird junkies:




I moved around to the other side of the tree to try and get a better pic, however the bastard (Aussie term of endearment, BTW) had this to say:




Y'all can make up your own captions as you see fit. In fact, how's abouts a contest?! Put your best caption in the comment section and you just might win a new car! One that is electric! runs on AAA batteries, 10 inches long, and has no steering. Or a screensaver or wallpapers!

Switching gears --I'm sure you heard the grinding...

This is a picture of the pool temp gauge that measured the water temp in the shady, deep end... it was actually warm in the shallow end... from the other day when it was *rather* warm outside.




Now, today the pool is NOTICABLE COLDER as it's only 101.8 F in the shade and 132 F in the sun. But don't worry, I'll be fine as I'm sure it'll warm back up soon. This means the water is around 88 F or so. Better get the 5mm wetsuit out.

This brings me to the title of this post: Just what the heck DOES the view betwixt dave's naked, hairy legs look like at 7 am?

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Well, apparantly I got some sheila's attention:

Goin' my way, stud?

Notice the burgundy colouring around the iris. That tells you she's a she, and not a bloke pretending to be a she.

Who's Been Tagged? Name This Bird.

One or two of you have been asking if you are "tagged" from my two "commenters tag" posts. Well, yes. Yes you are. I'm not holding anyone to this one though (like I could?) cus it involves a bit of work and everyone is busy with the holiday season.

However, I do want to make a list of the folks who were tagged. You know, just for the heckuva it.

Marie

KC

SV Meerkat

Ishmael

Suzer

Arvay

Fizzgig

Paige

Steve

Cathy

No pressure, y'all.


Here's where you get to come up with a really cool, weird, or bizarre name for this bird. Oh, and there's four pics of it to give you lot's of angles.












So let's hear what you come up with!


BTW, I've lost a cat... His Lord and Mighty Highness, Lord and Master of All He Surveys, Prince Bagheera. Sadly, he's turned into a black, furry, throw rug that ends up in the oddest of places...

Oi! What else is a bloke supposed to do when it's 96 F in the shade?

I, of course, spent the arvo in the pool... pictures coming soon!

But how's about a teaser for tomorrow? Hmmmmmm, dave goes outside at 6 am to feed da boids. dave then strips out of his robe and swims buffly in the pool. A half an hour later, dave exits pool and puts on shorts that have been sitting outside overnight from the previous night's skinny-dipping. What did dave find hanging out in the shorts (not a spider, btw)? Stay tuned!

It's a Cruel World...

Yes, this may come as a surprise to many of you, but life isn't all "wine 'n' roses", "champagne 'n' strawberries", "bread 'n' circuses", "grits 'n' hush puppies"... well, you get the idea.

Once in a while, things go wrong.

Yesterday was one of those days.

It all started out with a bleedin' freezin' mornin' at 530 am. The dang birds were tramping on the roof, screaming like mad, and letting me know that in no uncertain terms that'd better get my lazy ass outside (in the chill antarctic air) and give them their sunflower seeds.

Ok, ok. I found my robe, staggered down the stairs, kicked (tripped over) the cat, fed the little furball, and stumbled outside to meet the day (with all due regards to Johnny Cash's song Sunday Morning Sideways).

Hmmmm, didn't smell fried chicken... but them cockatoos look tasty...

Anyways, I put out some seeds for the little dears, and then I noticed that it was COLD! I mean, like REALLY COLD!

Well, there was only one thing to do and that was to warm up. Fortunately, the pool had held it's heat overnight night (the ice hadn't had time to form) so I tossed down the robe and skinny-dipped.

At 5:30 am

The water was warmed than the air

The exotic, wild, parrots (greedy bastards) were flitting around eating

The sun was rising

Did I mention I was naked in the pool?

See? SEE??!?!?! The sorta things I have to go through! I mean really, when the water is warmer than the air! Sheesh.


Later on that day...

It got even worse! Can you believe it? I mean really, after being forced to skinny-dip in the pool cus that air was colder than the water while watching the parrots f*cking around in the yard, could it get ANY worse?

Well, yes. Of course it could.

See, I had to go to Bunnings Warehouse to get a new hand-held pressure sprayer for the tomato(e) and basil plants (damned caterpillars). Oh, what's Bunnings Warehouse? Imagine a cross between True Value Hardware, Home Depot, and the largest plant and garden centre you can think of, all tucked into a building larger than a Sam's Club.

Yeah, nice place.

Anyways, the isle where the sprayers and hoses were was blocked off cus they were forklifting around pallets of goodies on the isle for 15 mins.

GAWD! The horrors of it all! I was forced, FORCED I TELL'S YA, to have to wander around the garden centre, power tool areas, pool accessory area, power tools, cafe (had a coffee), outdoor BBQ section, timber, power tools, I even had to go outside and get a sausage on a bun from the grill, and finally perused the power tool area. Eventually, they opened up the isle so I could get my pressure sprayer. Most horrid 15 mins of my life! Guys, don't let this happen to you!

But I do feel that I should put up a nice parrot picture for you. After all, isn't that what you come here for? It certainly couldn't be Sarah Palin satire, now could it?



Please note that I kept the camera from getting wet as I was in the pool.

Now, if'n y'all don' mind, I's gonna go take a nap *wink*.

90 in the shade

and it's not even lunchtime yet :)

Ahhhhhhhhh, I do believe that spring might actually be here! Time to put the winter parka away, pack up the bunny boots, and muzzle the mittens.

Yes, spring is here!

Hmmmm, the laundry is only taking 30 mins to dry on the line, nice. The grape vines are sprouting (NICE!!!!), the palm trees are happy, and the pool is clean!

Ahhhhh, spring... 7 months of warm weather!

Now I'll do what every good aussie bloke does in this weather: reach for a tinny! Tinny means beer, BTW.


But oh no! Where'd the beer go?


Now, if'n y'all will 'scuse me, a pool calls to be dived into...

Update: It's now become very cold... it's down to 89.2 F in the shade and only 111.6 in the direct sun. I'm not sure how I'll survive but I think it may be time to break out the showshoes, crampons, and ice axe. Maybe even the ice auger to get through the thick ice on the pool... Sigh...

A Hint, Critters, and Sarah Palin

Hmmmm, let's play Sesame Street again! One of these things just doesn't belong (y'all remember the song, of course you do!). Now let's me think... ooo, could take a while... Ahhh! Right! Any mention of Sarah Palin just doesn't belong on this blog. Whew, glad I got that out of way.

What's the hint about? Scroll down to the previous post about a song title. Remember, whoever can give me the name of the band and the song title will get a custom screensaver of my parrot pics, or wallpapers of them.

So, ummmmm, what's the hint? I have several:

1) One of the few successful bands with TWO lead singers.

2) Think 1960's

3) The first line of the song is (with no accent or inflection) "I was sitting in my basement..."

C'mon all you old hippies! You've only got 9 more days.

And now on with the Aussie critter pics!

This first one I thought of calling A Cacophony Of Color. I then I thought of A Galah Looking Up The Lorikeet's Skirts. So which is it?


Just tossing this next one up cus I think it's looks so cool.


Is it ALIVE?


Why yes, yes it is alive --barely!


Massive hangover:

Ooooohhhhh, I've GOT to remember not to mix beer and wine, EVER!

Free Parrot Wallpaper

Yes, you can have one of my "exquisite" aussie parrot pics as wallpaper! Hmmmmmmm, now which one should I choose... Ah, yes! Do y'all 'member when I was up on the balcony taking pics of the cockatoos? And there was one that flew right up to me and hovered for a moment? And the shutter on the camera clicked at just the right time? Yeah, that's the one! How's that sound for wallpaper? So here's ya are:

Please note that in order to get it for wallpaper size, just click on the pic. It'll EXPLODE up to 1024 by 768 pixels. Should be good enough for most folks. Go ahead and save it, no worries. Set it as your wallpaper, no worries. Share it around with your friends, no worries --weeeeelllllll, at least be kind and point them here, ta!

And since you are expecting pics of my new girlfriend, here's one of her showing her perfect pink breast while naked and adorned in chains as seen through a peep show window:


As always, his high and royal highness signals his approval by doing absolutely nothing (thereby decreasing his entropy and doing his part to keep the universe from collapsing):

Beat The Heat

Hey! It worked! KEWL!!!! Two (2) days ago I titled a post ADELAIDE HEAT WAVE, and I've had over 100 visitors the last 2 (two) days. Guess there's a trick to getting folks to look at your blog: and that is having a catchy, topical title to each post!  Hey, I can be taught...

Since I've titled this Beat The Heat, then I guess I should get to the pics of moi "beating the heat", otherwise you might sue me for false advertising.

I found out that the picnic table, umbrella, and chairs FLOAT! This means I don't have to wait till the sun swings round to eat in the pool! Notice the chair I'm sitting on...



It was 108 in the shade, and 130 in the sun...





nice of lots shade in the pool now...



The pair of galahs that's been hanging out recently showed up this morning. They had their brekkie with the lorries:




There's 2 or 3 pairs of lorries (rainbow lorikeet) that hang out in one of the gum trees (eucalypt) in the backyard even when they aren't having brekkie or afternoon tea:



I was going to be posting the finish of the canoe story today. It is, however, getting late and hot and I still have to get dinner ready for the clan so y'alls gunna hafta weight till later, cheers!


Update: I forgot to mention that I updated my blogroll with all the Alaskan and cookin' blogs I've found lately. I've also deleted the ones that haven't been updated for a wee bit (and I PROMISE never to be slack in my posting ever ever again!).

If I accidently deleted your blog (or I haven't added you as a new one), then just drop me a nice (or nasty) comment telling me how much you'd love me to blogroll you (or just how little you think of me as a person). Either way, no worries mate!

Adelaide Heat Wave

Now, isn't that tricky of me? Calling a blog post something that could easily be typed in a google search? What a great way to get more hits!

This is now the tenth day (breaks Perth's record!) and it's forecast to continue for at least the next 6 days... That'll be over two weeks with the daily high over 35 C. I know that doesn't sound too hot, but remember that is SHADE temp. I'm going to go look out the window now where my digital temp thingy is sitting on the table next to the pool in the sun. Hang on, be right back.

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I'm back (can you tell?). Temps not too bad, 121 F but it is overcast. That's around 50 C. A lot better than the 140 F I saw a couple of days ago. Still though, I'll be having dinner in the pool again tonight :)

We won't break the all time aussie record held by Marble Bay though... 160 days straight of temps like this! This was back early 1900's and I doubt anyone was living there except for the guy who checked the thermometer.

The good news is that the laundry doesn't take very long to dry out on the line.

A couple of years ago I decided to go on a road bike ride on the hottest day of the summer at the hottest time of day. I know, you are all asking "Why?"

Can I cop out and use Ming's answer of "Why not?"

No, I actually had a reason. See, I used to winter mt bike in the interior of Alaska. Coldest temp I'd ridden at was -58 F (-46 C) with a windchill of -92 F (-70 C). I figured if I went for a ride at +46 C then it would be kinda neat. You know, -46 and +46?

Anyways, I've since found out the +46 C was the shade temp and the temp on the road with no shade or shelter was that +140 F (+60 C).

So NOW I can say (boast) that I've ridden a bicycle for over an hour in a windchill of -92 F AND ridden a bicycle for over an hour with a road temp of +140 F! That's a temp dif of 232 degrees F.

Do I get some sort of prize for this? Or did the Alaska rides freeze my brains and then the Oz rides melted them and they all leaked out?

Do you want to hear about how much fun I had on the road ride when the road temp was 140 F? Well sure you do otherwise you wouldn't have read this far.

All I did was ride from Seacombe Gardens, up South Road hill, around the Happy Valley reservior, back down the hill, and back home. Short ride, I can do it with my eyes closed in less than 40 mins without even breathing hard.

This time it took 1 hour and 15 mins...

I took 3 large water bottles with me, ended up wishing I had 5! As soon as the road tilted upwards it I was breathing fire. Everyone remembers the Balrog scene in LOTR, right? Remember when he was belching fire out? Yeah, that was me going up the hill...

Here's the kicker, the South Road hill is only 4% and it's less than 2 km long! It hurt... I had finished the first water bottle before even getting to the top.

(quick aside: the sun is back out and it's 137.8 F on the white table next to the pool)

On the far side of the reservior there a very short but very steep hill climb, my second bottle was empty before I even got to it. I think this time I was not only breathing fire but actually inside the furnace itself.

The last water bottle I finished up with still 30 mins ahead of me to get home at what was for me a snails pace; I could barely keep up 30 kmh on the flats. When I finally got around the reservior and was done with any hills at all I told myself that it's all downhill from here! Isn't that supposed to the fun part? No traffic (all the smart folk were inside), 3 wide, smooth lanes with nice sweeping curves that are loads of fun! Wee-hoo!

Not this time... not this time...

I had to ride my brakes! Very embarrasing! I wanted to get home as quick as possible, but having 140 degree air shoved into my mouth at 80 kmh didn't sound fun. Besides, when I got going any faster than 60 kmh (38 mph) the hot hot hot air would find it's way around my wrap around sunnies (that's oz for sunglasses) and dry my eyes out so that I couldn't see. Not fun.

When I finally got home, the most wonderful woman in the world (my wife) took one look at me and promptly sat me in front of the a/c and brought me as much luke warm water as I wanted. Apparantly my skin was pale (it was tanned, but not just right then), waxen, my cheeks were sunken and my eye socket were hollow.

The next day I was out for a 2 hour ride, in the early morning before the sun was up! See, I can learn!

All this typing has got me severely heat stressed, so I'm off to the pool, ta.

More heat stuff...

I hope no one minds lots of pics today. I really don't have the energy or brain power to right (write) something humourous. I know I need to finish my Concerning Cilled Canoes and Croutons story, but right now it ain't gonna happen.  As soon as I finish this post I will spend the afternoon in the nice cool pool... it's 90 F in the water, which in infinitely cooler than the air.

First pic is the digital temperate gauge thingy I was telling you about yesterday. Ignore the time as I never bother about the time so it was never set, and ignore the humidity cus I've never calibrated that feature. However... the temp works perfect, it's spot on with other temp readings so I know it's working.

This shot was taken at 3:30 pm yesterday. The sensor was sitting on the white table out by the pool, I didn't cheat and set it on the bricks that had been baking all day.



That's pretty warm... Oh, if you are wondering about the stuff on the table, I was pruning the tomato(e) plants. I stopped counting the tomatoes after we hit 100 tomatoes :)



What does a black cat do when it's this hot out? Well, he flops down on the hot bricks and cooks himself...

I think Bagheera runs on solar power...


What does a cockatoo do? She opens her wings slightly to the breeze to cool off:





There's been a long-billed corella parrot hanging out on the fringes of the cockatoo flock for a while. I've seen him/her a few times now in the last couple of weeks. Things got ugly last week...

The Interloper:



The Guard:



The Showdown:




The Faceoff:




The Attack:




That's all for today folks. Please remember to send cool, cold, frigid weather our way! Thanks for that!  Oh for all you fairbanksans: can someone please get some pics of the ice carvings before they melt? Thanks in advance :)

UPDATE! I almost forgot... what does dave do in this heat? Where does he eat his dinner?