Me? I'm good, no worries. Getting nice and tanned even though it's been a blood-well cold winter here in South Oz!
I tell's ya, if'n I ever find that b*tch named La Nina she'd better watch out! I mean seriously here it is Christmas Eve and it's only 97 degrees Fartenheights in the shade! Phht! If it doesn't warm up soon then I may go loopy! Loopier than usual that is of course.
And the pool! Crikey mates, it's never been this cold even in winter! The other day I jumped in, big mistake mates! As my frigid frozen body was starting to rise to the surface face first, Wifey-Poo snapped a photo of the event!
Wouldja like to see the foto? Of course you would. I shall therefore indulge you...
Cold I tells ya mates, COLD!
*insert scene change here as dave's brain blows it's last remaining fuse*
Someone has finally accepted my standing invitation to visit! That young bloke from North Pole. Lives in a place called Santa Claus House. Nice digs too. Mrs Claus makes a mean cuppa, lemme tell ya.
Anyways, back when I was in Alaska I told Santa that he's more than welcome to come visit anytime. Perchance just before Christmas to give him a chance to unwind before the big night.
Well, he took me up on the offer this year.
I tell ya, it's a good thing I've been making extra homebrew for these holidays cus that guy sure can put them away.
See what I mean:
We were having a jolly ole time. Trading stories about the north and what not. When that guy gets a few into him ALL the dirt comes out about Rudolph, the other reindeer and all the elves.
I started to get a little bit concerned after a few hours as he showed no sign of letting up on the imbibing.
I was getting worried since it was only 2 pm and he'd gone through a case in only 2 hours.
Let the damn elves deliver the pressies to the brats this year!
How many chillis did you put in this beer?
By now I was getting very concerned for Santa's wellbeing. Perhaps the strain of his job finally got to him?
Remember to tell your kids that if Santa doesn't visit this year that it's NOT because they've been bad. It's because Santa has been bad!