Showing posts with label sunrise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sunrise. Show all posts

Friday, April 02, 2010

Alien Abduction Act X... Zombie dave Aboard The A.S.S.!

Butt before we get to that, I have some things I need to get off my chest --like this tattoo that says "I love you, man!".

Y'all 'member last post? Oh, c'mon, the one where I used lots of swear words and was all pissy.

Ah yes, you do remember. Good.

I have been hoping that someone, anyone, would comment about it. Butt no, not a single one of you did. Did any of you try to tell me to lighten up? No. Did any of you offer a shoulder to cry on? No. Did I lose/gain any readers? Nope, not a chance --well, I may have lost some.

Did anyone realize it was one big, bloody joke???????? Not just No, butt HELL NO!

Witch brings me to my next thingy-doo-dad that I was tagged with a while back (just trawl through the last 10 posts or so and you'll figure it out): Just Another Thing You Won't Learn About Me By Reading This Blog!

I'm a nice guy.

Really, I am.

No, seriously! I am!

When BIL (shall we just call him "Mike"?) got his Masters degree just who do you think had the video recorder set up on the tripod so that MIL (shall we just call her "mum"?) could see her youngest obtain serious accolades? Yup, Yours Truly (that's me, don't swoon ladies as I'm human) was not only doing the duties but he also took Mike to a celebratory lunch at a high-class pub afterwards.

Every week I do a mechanical once-over of mum's wheelchair.

Wifey-Poo gets massages whenever she needs them.

I give rides to strangers. Yes, I really do. There was one time when I was dropping off WP and mum at the doctors office when a very lost Nigerian gentlemen asked me for directions to a side street in the area. Once I made sure that WP and mum were fine I tried to direct him to the street in question. I could see that he was not going to be able to find his way so I gave him a lift to not only the street but to the house where he needed to go.

I also fetch items off of high shelves in the grocery store for little old ladies and gentlemen. In fact it has sorta become a habit that when I see someone elderly stopped in the aisle looking up that I do ask if they need anything from up high. 9 times out of 10 they do.

I took Mike grave-robbing so many times for the research of his PHD that I still respond to calls of, "Hey, Igor!"

The last time we moved house it took A LOT of trips in a rental truck. Guess who did the driving and moving without too much bitching? Yup, Yours Truly.

I've stayed up all night for a week keeping an eye on mum when she was going through a "bad patch".

I've rescued orphaned, baby mouses.

And if any of you ever decide to come down for a visit I can promise that you'll have a place to crash at, be fed gourmet meals (unless I'm cooking --I JOKE!), hang out in the pool, have loads of good home brew, and I'll even pick you up from the airport --or the beach if you came by boat.


So do ANY of you really think that I was really swearing and bitching like that in the last post?

**************************************************************************

Next topic...

Pretty birdy picture! I'm sure all my regular readers will immediately recognize this bloke...
long billed corella cockatoo
Those are some really, seriously, cool-looking claws!




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As my regulars will also know, I like playing around with 3d programs. Been doing that for almost ten years now. I am, however, still trying to get good glacial ice with, ahhhhh, inexpensive (free) programs. But I do have sunset colours down quite well as the beach faces westward here and we are about a mile from it.

What do you think of this?
awesome cloudscape



Here's a contest for you:

Did dave, Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human), make this sunset in 3d? Or did he actually take this photograph? Or did he shamelessly steal the image from an online source?

The first correct answer in the comment section wins something. Don't know what but I'm sure the winner and I will come to some sort of arrangement.

And now what you've all been waiting for...


Alien Abduction Act X My arrival onboard the A.S.S.!!!!!!!

Just a quickie recap for you, the name of the alien craft is A.S.S. which, of course, stands for Alien Space Ship. Well, what else could it mean? Perverts. And remember that the rego of the A.S.S. is C4P-PFP2012 and in my zombie state at the time I had no idea what that meant.

C'mon, as any zombie I was just wanting to eat some brains!

In case you have joined me late, here's a quick pic recap!

into orbit

chinese spy satellite photo



Which, of course, brings us to my stealthy arrival in a corridor of the A.S.S. This was just before I materialized --please note the A.S.S. is parked above Oceania!
empty corridor

And then there's a bright flash!
big flash



And I slowly start to materialize...
me arrival_01
Hmmmmm, something appears to be slightly wrong with dave...



me arrival_02


Yes folks, my smashing of the pyramid atop my house with my lightning-charged sledgehammer whilst in my zombie state had caused the alien transporter beam to become totally discombobulated! It had somehow taken my awesome brainpower and shoved it into my muscles!

And just what type of aliens would I find aboard the A.S.S. rego'd as C4P-PFP2012? And would there be any brains at all for me to eat?

Those 2 questions (and probably lots more) just might be answered soon so STAY TUNED to this channel!

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

It's Been 50 Days Since I've...

...

BS (blogosphere): Ok dave, now that we've clicked on your smartassed titled post, will you at least tell us what it was you last did 50 days ago?

YT (yours truly): Gaahhhn, take a punt mate!

BS: We don't speak Aussie slang, *sshole.

YT: Go on and give it a go!

BS: In english, perhaps?

YT: Take a guess, mate!

BS: Hmmmmm, perhaps that's the best translation we'll get...

BS: 50 days since you've picked your nose?

YT: Nope!

BS: 50 days since you've scratched your privates in public?

YT: Nope!

BS: 50 days since your wife was embarrassed to be seen with you in a public place?

YT: Nope! *grin*

BS: 50 days since you've gotten your lazy ass out from in front of the computer?

YT: Nope! I spend time in the pool, too!

BS: We give up...


Before I let you in on my little 50 day secret, I feel the need to post some cool parrot pictures. Especially since I've just subjected some of my more sensitive readers to my odd scents of humour.

Notice how everyone is watching the bloke flying:
cockatoos at sunrise



As cool as the lories are, whady'all think of that pigeon in the upper left?
lotsa lories



flash lorikeet
Flash! Aaaaa-ah
Saviour of the universe
Flash!
He'll save everyone of us
Flash!
He's a miracle
Flash!
King of the impossible



Whoopsie, sorry about that. Just a bit of nostalgia kicking in.

It has now been 50 whole days

s
i
n
c
e

I

h
a
v
e
.
.
.

Washed my shorts!

*TWWWEEEEEETTT*

Time out for a cool bird pic!

fixed

*TWWWEEEEEETTT*

Ok, time in.


No seriously! It's true! I haven't washed my shorts for 50 days. Just ask my wife! Well, maybe you'd better not...

You gotta remember, I don't wear underwear. Here's a photo to prove it, see?
no underwear



Well, actually that's not true. I wear underwear beneath my cycling shorts when I'm riding. Yes, I can hear all you roadies and mounties screaming that you can't wear underwear under your cycling shorts. Ha! 40 years later and no blisters, boils or saddle sores.

I also don't shave my legs. Here's proof:
between hairy legs



And why don't I shave my legs? Cus I'm not vain! Read this for proof.

Anyways, back to me not washing my shorts --yes, I'm back on topic!

I jump in the pool 3 or 4 times a day, for a swim (or breakfast or lunch or dinner) between 30 minutes to 2 hours at a time. I keep 4 or 5 pairs of shorts outside on the bench and a couple of towels. That way when I get out of the pool not only do I not have to remember a towel, but I also don't have to remember dry shorts!

See!!?? Ain't I smart?

The way I figure it, the shorts being in the pool for a long time (wrapped around my butt, of course) while soaking in chlorine cleans them suckers pretty darned good. Then, after drying in the direct sun for a while, they are ready to be used for the next time I get out of the pool!

Neat, huh?

Just thought I'd let you all know that it's starting to cool off. In fact, WP is wrapped in a blanket as she types away next to me. And I've even put clothes on! (shorts and tank top, no underwear though)

Today's official high was 33 C (91.4 F) and I saw 92.5 F here. In the direct sun it was a very cool 117 F. As usual, the damned weather pixie on my sidebar is her usual lying self as she says it never got over 85 F. Twit.

But don't worry, I had my hour of pool excersize at 7 am while watching the parrots, no worries!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Sarah Palin Hot Tree Sex!

*Since the football game ran late, we join the following show in progress*

...The intrepid papparazzi photographer from Chatanika slowly creeps through the outhouse graveyard in search of the extremely elusive Sarah Palin.

His search is rewarded as he spots Sarah (SP) and Tawd (TP) in a tree!

tawdnsarah01

SP: Taaawwwwwd! Git over here an' give mama sum luvin'!

TP: Ahhh, yore Tawdy's gunna git lucky!



tawdnsarah02
*smack, slurp, drool*



tawdnsarah03

TP: YEE-HA! Yore Tawd's gittin' ready!



tawdnsarah04

TP: Yore Tawd's gunna ride you like muh Ski-Doo!



tawdnsarah05

SP: Doncha know I'm ALWAYS on TOP!



tawdnsarah06

SP: Hey! That wuz quicker'n last time!

TP: I gots a race to git to!

SP: Alright dear, you go win sum more gold for mama!

TP: Yee-ha!

SP: While yore out racin', Ah'm headin' on down to the carwash. Gotta go look me up some, uhhhh, figures with Brad.



And on a totally unrelated note, the morning gang of cockies sure do enjoy their sunrises:
cockatoo watching sunrise
The railing on the upper deck seems custom designed for these buggers.

several cockatoos watching sunrise
There are six cockatoos in that pic. Can you find them all?

BTW, for those of you knot from the interior, just google "chatanika" and "outhouse". Good times up there!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Busy, busy, busy

I think the title says it all. Busy! And tired! But I'm not above putting up some pics to keep y'all happy while I get my shit together for a couple of long posts:

This is a typical sunrise down here

I know this sunset doesn't have anything in it for reference, but trust me when I say this looked really cool.

I personally like this shot of the cockatoo. It may not be much, but since it's my blog I'll post whatever I want.