Just How Stupid Am I?

Oh ho! Yes, I heard that collective laugh from way up north all the way down here! Gots good hearing, dontcha know.

So, like, just how stupid am I? Am I stupid enough to ask you (and all the lurkers) for advice? Well, DUH! Of course, silly. Butt the importance of the title of this post with relations to my stupidity is WHAT I will ask you about.

If you have your speakers on, then you'll've probably guessed it may have something to do with a certain fermented beverage that I'm kinda fond of.

Do any of you remember my posts back in December of '09? No Karl, that's 2009. Specifically, the posts relating to my chilli beers.

Here, let me refresh your mammaries...

Just how the heck did I make this toxic brew?

It can be rather tasty.

And just what does it do to you?

And of course I had to invite a kindly old elf of my acquaintance to partake in some before his big night.

Fortunately, he was able to recover in time to make his yearly rounds.

I'm sure by now not only are you wondering why the h*ll I'm bringing this subject up but that you've torn your speakers into little, itty-bitty pieces and buried them alive --Quick! What movie was that line from?

The movie line I'm referring to is the "...should be torn into little, itty-bitty pieces and buried alive..." Wouldn't want to confuse you anymore than I already have. *wink*

So, why am I bringing this up? I'll tell you. Actually, I'll type it and you can read it.

I was doing some housecleaning today *gasp* and I found a full bottle tucked into a corner of the brew room.

It.

Had.

A.

BIG.

Chilli.

In.

It.

That's right! My last bottle of chilli beer. Bottled 6 months ago. With a six inch chilli pepper in it. Bubbling and fermenting away ALL. SUMMER. LONG. Keep in mind it can rather warm down here; in case you didn't know.




My question to you, dear gentle readers, is this: Should I drink it? And if I do drink it should I live-tweet the drinking or should I live-blog the drinking?

Your opinion really does matter to me so please feel free to use the comments to give me your answers, ta.

BTW Wifey-Poo thinks I should use it for stripping paint. I disagree as it'd probably dissolve whatever is under the paint too, also.

Santa Recovers! Christmas Saved! Vows Never Again To Visit Australia!

It all started innocently enough --at least enough for me. I decided to try my hand at making Chilli Beer.

The beer turned out pretty darned good, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, I found out just a little too late that it has hallucinagenic properties.

Why was it too late, you ask? Well, I had already invited a mate of mine from up north to join me in unwinding before his yearly big night on December 24th. He had lot's of fun, that's for sure!

However with a little help from Yours Truly (that'd be me. Don't swoon ladies, I'm human) I was able to help Santa Claus overcome the morning after effects of my very potent Chilli Beer.

Doesn't he look happy?




He has since told me that he is never, EVER going to visit Australia again. And he made quite sure to mention that includes the night of December 24th! He also made mention of giving lumpy coal to any Alaskan who visits me, but I think that was in jest.

But what Santa didn't realise is there is a tertiary effect of drinking 4 cases of Dingo Dave's Extra Special Chilli Beer all in one afternoon...

Around 36 hours after imbibing large quantities of the above brew, said imbiber has a tendency (ok, 100% chance of) to develop the runs. Specifically, burning, aching, gut-wrenching, squirting-every-5-minutes, stinky type of runs.

Now since I knew Santa's delivery route ahead of time (being as old Alaskan trucker has it's advantages, dontcha know *wink*) I must admit that I started the Jolly Old Elf on the chilli beers at juuuuust the right time.

The right time so that the "burning runs from HELL" would hit when he was directly above a specific compound overlooking the shores of the vibrant Lake Lucille in Wasilla, Alaska on his yearly Christmas Eve rounds.

Guess what pressie he left for the ex-guv: