Santa Recovers! Christmas Saved! Vows Never Again To Visit Australia!

It all started innocently enough --at least enough for me. I decided to try my hand at making Chilli Beer.

The beer turned out pretty darned good, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, I found out just a little too late that it has hallucinagenic properties.

Why was it too late, you ask? Well, I had already invited a mate of mine from up north to join me in unwinding before his yearly big night on December 24th. He had lot's of fun, that's for sure!

However with a little help from Yours Truly (that'd be me. Don't swoon ladies, I'm human) I was able to help Santa Claus overcome the morning after effects of my very potent Chilli Beer.

Doesn't he look happy?




He has since told me that he is never, EVER going to visit Australia again. And he made quite sure to mention that includes the night of December 24th! He also made mention of giving lumpy coal to any Alaskan who visits me, but I think that was in jest.

But what Santa didn't realise is there is a tertiary effect of drinking 4 cases of Dingo Dave's Extra Special Chilli Beer all in one afternoon...

Around 36 hours after imbibing large quantities of the above brew, said imbiber has a tendency (ok, 100% chance of) to develop the runs. Specifically, burning, aching, gut-wrenching, squirting-every-5-minutes, stinky type of runs.

Now since I knew Santa's delivery route ahead of time (being as old Alaskan trucker has it's advantages, dontcha know *wink*) I must admit that I started the Jolly Old Elf on the chilli beers at juuuuust the right time.

The right time so that the "burning runs from HELL" would hit when he was directly above a specific compound overlooking the shores of the vibrant Lake Lucille in Wasilla, Alaska on his yearly Christmas Eve rounds.

Guess what pressie he left for the ex-guv: