Love blogging of the ultra hot chili beer tasting! *updated*

I am just about to crack the top of the brew now!

update 12 01 PM It's very well pressurized.


update 1204 pm cracked the top. Huge hiss. Smell of chilis instantly permeated the room!


update 1205 pm Carefully pouring. Very fizzy. No head though. STRONG smell of chili!


update 1206 pm the lager has a very reddish tinge to it.

update 1208 pm first taste! hair tingles. eyes water. tongue shrivels. warmth better than a shot of whiskey wpreads throughout my gut.


update 1210 pm *beeeeeeelllllchhhhhh* Holy crap that's strong stuff! Anyone wanna come down and visit to taste some of my homebrewed chili beers?

update 1212 pm 3 sips and my scalp has the serious chili sweats going on. Wifey-Poo says just a whiff of it hurts her sinuses.


update 1214 pm Just took a large swig of it. I *think* I may be getting used to it. Gotta remember this when it's hot weather. What a great way it'd be to cool off.


update 1217 pm Ok, finished with the first 10 ounce glass... only 20 more ounces to go! Ooooo, tummy just love sit, NOT! Wifey-Poo says that if I make myself sick then she ain't cleaning it up (this time).


update 1219 pm Mmmmmm, nice, warm, tingly feeling in my tummy now. Good brew!


update 1221 pm Did you know that birds do not have receptors that react to capsaicin the way mammals do? Just another way the chili plants spread their seeds; bird poop!


update 1224 pm Everytime I take a swig of the brew, my nose tingles. Gee, wonder why? And just why does it seem so warm in here today?

update 1226 pm For some reason my nose is running. Quick, enter it in a race!


update 1228 pm Why is there a lot of pressure in my ears and why do sounds seem muffled all of a suddn?


update 1230 pm *belch* Ahhh, a tsp of sour cream soothed the boiling cauldron that is my tummy.


update 1234 pm I am now 2/3 of the way through the 750 mil bottle of F*CK*NGLY H*T chili beer.

update 1235 pm Just poured the last third. bubbles are continously rising from the dark depths of the glass.


update 1238 pm Is it any surprise to you that afte Santa visited me down under that THIS happened?


update 1243 pm Why is my face feeling puffy? Was it something I drank?


update 1245 pm Holy CRAP! The last few dregs (them cloudy bits of honebrew) are disgustlingly HOOTTTT!



updat4 1246 pm It's a good thing my tonsils were removed when I was young, otherwise they'd be seared now! And I'm feeling oooooooh so warm and tingly inside!


update4 1248 pm *blech* Ahhhh, me feels much better now.



update 1250 pm One tiny amount left in the glass... it smells like haz-mat. Fortunately, it doesn't taste like haz-mat.


update 1255 pm Done AND done! I certainly don't envy my lower intestine tomorrow morning.

I certainly hope you've enjoyed reading this, I know I enjoyed (sorta) drinking it.


update 108 pm My god... It's full of stars...

Countdown... *updated*

24 minutes and counting till I crack open the last of my chili beers and consume it.

Update: 21 minutes to go. I SWEAR I've seen the chili jiggle and shack in that last bottle...

http://alaskandavedownunder.blogspot.com/2010/07/in-exactly-19-hours-from-right-now.html

Update @ 11:45 am 15 mins to go. Bottle feels good and pressurised. Chili is wriggling nicely. Should be very very potent. I'll keep you posted, no worries.

update @ 11:52 am The scoville heat unit of the chilli I used is around 100,000. It was fresh and I pierced it before adding to the homebrew bottle for it's secondary fermentation. That was 7 months ago.


udate @ 1157 am. No one else in the house seems to give a damn. BIL is facebooking, MIL is watching Richard Dean Anderson as MacGyver, the cat is asleep, and Wifey-Poo is writing. Just me and the chillis, I guess.

In exactly 19 hours from RIGHT NOW...

... local Adelaide time, I will be live tweeting and live blogging an event.

Remember this teaser from last post?

*****************************************************************

Next up: A teaser.

This coming Friday, July 30th, at noon local Adelaide time I will be live tweeting and live blogging an event. For those of you who have no idea about international time zones, I'll give you some handy times.

If you are in Alaska, the event will occur at 6:30 PM, Thursday July 29th.

If you are on the US East coast, the event time will be 10:30 PM, Thursday July 29th.

If you are in France, it'll be 4:30 AM, Friday July 30th.

If you are in Sydney, check in at noon-thirty on the 30th, no worries.

Beer will be involved. And maybe yoghurt. Probably a toilet.

The event should last no longer than 30 minutes. 45 max.

Any guesses?

*********************************************************************

Before I let you know what the Event is I need to tell you that we have a new neighbor. And she's young, nubile and very hot lookin'! So don't tell Wifey-Poo, ok?

The other day she gave me one of those over-the-shoulder-come-hither looks that I'm sure all you cranky old guys are used to getting from young girls. Or is it just me?

Fortunately, I had the camera with me at the time!

Here she is, me new girlyfriend!




Well, I guess Wifey-Poo doesn't have anything to be worried about after all.

Next up: What is The Event!

It involves beer, of course. Specifically, homebrew. More specifically, a homebrew that was made 7 and 1/2 months ago!

Remember this post from mid december 2009?

**************************************************************


Variety is the Spice of Life


Yes, it is. Why would you want to do the same boring, mundane thing every single day and then on the weekends do the same boring, mundane thing that you've done every weekend for the last 20 years?

Do something different! Change something! Spice up your life!

Heck, if I'd been content to drive the same truck every day, punch the same clock, receive a really good paycheck with awesome benefits, ride the bike on the same roads/trails as the previous 1231 weekends, teach the same stuff four times a week in the evenings; well, gosh.

I certainly wouldn't be in Australia if I wanted to do the same thing day in and day out.

And I certainly wouldn't have an outdoor pool. I hear they aren't too common up in Fairbanks for some reason.

And I certainly would still be working!

You owe it to yourself to TRY SOMETHING NEW!

Variety is the SPICE of life. And if you don't like spices in your life then you are probably only popular at a Star Trek Trivial Pursuit convention. Jus' sayin'.

Speaking of spices... I happened upon a couple of really nice chilli peppers the other day.

I have tentatively identified them as a sub-species of Capsicum annuum. I do believe they are the cayenne variety.

These puppies are 20 times hotter than a jalapeno and 10 times hotter than tabasco sauce. However, they are only 1/5th the hotness of the thai peppers I grow (got 9 really awesome thai chilli plants this year). But hey, they are still good.

Lookie here if'ns ya don't beeleave me:




To do what I planned to do with them (GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!), I first needed to snip the stems.

BTW, Mundial kitchen shears are da bomb! Hand crafted in Madrid, doncha know.


And I also needed to pierce them full of holes:






You'll notice I don't wear rubber gloves when handling chillis. It's cus I'm not a wuss. Besides, I've got so many callouses from, ah, um, er, other activities that I don't have to worry about and juice stinging.

But what am I planning on doing with these chillis? Weeeeeeelllllllllll, since you asked...

This is a 750 ml bottle ready for BEER! 750 mls is twice the size of wussie US beers, BTW. These are BIG chillis!

They barely even fit!




One with, one without.

Soon to be both "with".

And after a nice lager has been added to do it's secondary fermentation in the bottle




I'll let you know how they taste in about a week from now.

Hey, take a chance! Ya never know!

******************************************************************

Yes, I have ONE, count it twice, ONE of the chilli beers left. And that beer has been soaking up all the chili heat goodness for a long time now! In fact, just the other day I say the chili twitch and the bottle moved.

Tomorrow at noon I will be opening it and consuming it. And I will tell you all about it LIVE as it happens!

So tune in exactly 19 hours from RIGHT NOW to this blog and to my tweeter account! I'll be updating every few minutes so just click the refresh button to get the latest.

Hallucinations?

Sickness?

Giddiness?

Transcendental experiences?

Finding out if there's an afterlife?

Who knows what'll happen!

Just be here. Friday. July 30th. Noon. Adelaide, South Oz time.

Sarah Palin Plotting The Demise of Anonymous Bloggers!

And oh boy we had all better watch out! The Mean Girl Sarah Palin is definitely on a roll and has her groove back! I also have a candid picture of her plotting just how she'll get us and take over the world!

See, look!


If that's not an face hatching evil plots then I don't know what it is!

Just one glance in my direction of that mean girl glare of hers totally shocked me!





That evening I decided to channel my "inner" Sarah Palin and cook up some critters:




Mmmmmmm, soup stock in the making! I wonder if $arah Palin knows this recipe?




I then found peace and solitude with my chilli plants...




until I noticed one of her spies recording my every move!




Aiiiiiiiigh! Run away! Run VERY FAR AWAY!


*For you newbies here, I named one of the female galahs that hangs around in the backyard Sarah Palin. Not sure where I got the name from, but it sure did make for some interesting visitors to this blog in late 2008.*

Just How Stupid Am I?

Oh ho! Yes, I heard that collective laugh from way up north all the way down here! Gots good hearing, dontcha know.

So, like, just how stupid am I? Am I stupid enough to ask you (and all the lurkers) for advice? Well, DUH! Of course, silly. Butt the importance of the title of this post with relations to my stupidity is WHAT I will ask you about.

If you have your speakers on, then you'll've probably guessed it may have something to do with a certain fermented beverage that I'm kinda fond of.

Do any of you remember my posts back in December of '09? No Karl, that's 2009. Specifically, the posts relating to my chilli beers.

Here, let me refresh your mammaries...

Just how the heck did I make this toxic brew?

It can be rather tasty.

And just what does it do to you?

And of course I had to invite a kindly old elf of my acquaintance to partake in some before his big night.

Fortunately, he was able to recover in time to make his yearly rounds.

I'm sure by now not only are you wondering why the h*ll I'm bringing this subject up but that you've torn your speakers into little, itty-bitty pieces and buried them alive --Quick! What movie was that line from?

The movie line I'm referring to is the "...should be torn into little, itty-bitty pieces and buried alive..." Wouldn't want to confuse you anymore than I already have. *wink*

So, why am I bringing this up? I'll tell you. Actually, I'll type it and you can read it.

I was doing some housecleaning today *gasp* and I found a full bottle tucked into a corner of the brew room.

It.

Had.

A.

BIG.

Chilli.

In.

It.

That's right! My last bottle of chilli beer. Bottled 6 months ago. With a six inch chilli pepper in it. Bubbling and fermenting away ALL. SUMMER. LONG. Keep in mind it can rather warm down here; in case you didn't know.




My question to you, dear gentle readers, is this: Should I drink it? And if I do drink it should I live-tweet the drinking or should I live-blog the drinking?

Your opinion really does matter to me so please feel free to use the comments to give me your answers, ta.

BTW Wifey-Poo thinks I should use it for stripping paint. I disagree as it'd probably dissolve whatever is under the paint too, also.

Santa Recovers! Christmas Saved! Vows Never Again To Visit Australia!

It all started innocently enough --at least enough for me. I decided to try my hand at making Chilli Beer.

The beer turned out pretty darned good, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, I found out just a little too late that it has hallucinagenic properties.

Why was it too late, you ask? Well, I had already invited a mate of mine from up north to join me in unwinding before his yearly big night on December 24th. He had lot's of fun, that's for sure!

However with a little help from Yours Truly (that'd be me. Don't swoon ladies, I'm human) I was able to help Santa Claus overcome the morning after effects of my very potent Chilli Beer.

Doesn't he look happy?




He has since told me that he is never, EVER going to visit Australia again. And he made quite sure to mention that includes the night of December 24th! He also made mention of giving lumpy coal to any Alaskan who visits me, but I think that was in jest.

But what Santa didn't realise is there is a tertiary effect of drinking 4 cases of Dingo Dave's Extra Special Chilli Beer all in one afternoon...

Around 36 hours after imbibing large quantities of the above brew, said imbiber has a tendency (ok, 100% chance of) to develop the runs. Specifically, burning, aching, gut-wrenching, squirting-every-5-minutes, stinky type of runs.

Now since I knew Santa's delivery route ahead of time (being as old Alaskan trucker has it's advantages, dontcha know *wink*) I must admit that I started the Jolly Old Elf on the chilli beers at juuuuust the right time.

The right time so that the "burning runs from HELL" would hit when he was directly above a specific compound overlooking the shores of the vibrant Lake Lucille in Wasilla, Alaska on his yearly Christmas Eve rounds.

Guess what pressie he left for the ex-guv:

Chilli Pepper Hallucinations

Yes, that good ole chemical capsaicin can have some rather odd effects upon critters of the mammalian persuasion who consume them. And of course you know that avian types don't have a problem with capsaicin so if you think you are a birdbrain then you should be able to eat all the chillis you want without feeling the heat!

Ahem.

And I'm sure you all are aware that chilli plants are self-pollinators. Can you imagine if people were self-pollinators?

Just think, all those hours a teenage guy spends in the bathroom could have more consequences than a musky odor and a red face! Not that I'm speaking from experience, mind you. It's, uh, just something I heard.

Quick dave, change the topic!

Oh, right. Hallucinations from consuming too much capsaicin laced homebrew.

One can see koalas wearing funny things whilst out bushwhacking --I mean bush walking.




Hmmmm, Santa sure don't look jolly in all the fur with a hat on in a 'stralian summer.

Too much capsaicin laced homebrew can also cause the imbibber to strike even stupider poses than usual. Bonus points will be awarded if you can figure out what's in the bottle floating near dave's crotch. And extra bonus points awarded if you can guess how much his cool, spiffy, new, white crocs cost.

Just

scroll

d
o
w
n

for

a

picture

of

a

bottle

floating

near

dave's

crotch.

That'sa Spicyea Beera!

Remember the post from a few days ago? The one where I was bottling beer and put a huge cayenne pepper in two of the bottles? Oh, you do remember! G'donya mates!

The brew was actually bottled a week ago, and this morning the bottles were clear! That means the secondary fermentation is done --warm weather speeds it along, dontcha know.

Naturally I just had to open one of them --I'll give the other one a few more days to "age" properly.

I sat down a few feet from Wifey-Poo. With an empty mug in one hand, and a 750 ml bottle of lager with a six inch cayenne pepper (poked full of holes) in the bottle.

I cracked the bottle.

Before I could even begin to pour the "beer" into the mug, WP stated she could smell the chilli already. Being the gentleman that I am, I offered her a quaff. She, being the lady she is, politely declined. I believe her exact words were, "Not a bloody chance in Hell!"

The first sip was pretty spicy. Couldn't smell the beer at all. Couldn't taste the beer at all. The spiciness seemed to creep all around my mouth and throat.

YT: Mmmmmm, this is good. I think I'll have another sip. Anyone want to join me?

WP: I know you and spicy food and if the sweat on your brow after one small sip is any indication of the potency of that firewater, then I shall pass.

YT: How about you Mike?

BIL: GET. A.WAY. FROM. ME. WITH. THAT. FILTH.

YT: Cool, more for me.

So I finished the first mug, no worries. As you read this I'm currently halfway through my second mug. Good stuff! I think all homebrewers should try this! Much much much spicier than that wussy stuff with a tiny chilli in it, that's for sure.

I'll make dinner simple tonight (snags and bacon rolls w/ onions, shrooms, and chillis) so my taste buds don't have to worry about getting back to life for a day or two.

Audience Participation Time!

Why is dave shoving this down his shorts?





The comment line is now open!

Oh, do you think it may have something to do with this?





Hey lookie! Even the locals think I'm loco!

Bonus question: Which one is the female?

Variety is the Spice of Life

Yes, it is. Why would you want to do the same boring, mundane thing every single day and then on the weekends do the same boring, mundane thing that you've done every weekend for the last 20 years?

Do something different! Change something! Spice up your life!

Heck, if I'd been content to drive the same truck every day, punch the same clock, receive a really good paycheck with awesome benefits, ride the bike on the same roads/trails as the previous 1231 weekends, teach the same stuff four times a week in the evenings; well, gosh.

I certainly wouldn't be in Australia if I wanted to do the same thing day in and day out.

And I certainly wouldn't have an outdoor pool. I hear they aren't too common up in Fairbanks for some reason.

And I certainly would still be working!

You owe it to yourself to TRY SOMETHING NEW!

Variety is the SPICE of life. And if you don't like spices in your life then you are probably only popular at a Star Trek Trivial Pursuit convention. Jus' sayin'.

Speaking of spices... I happened upon a couple of really nice chilli peppers the other day.

I have tentatively identified them as a sub-species of Capsicum annuum. I do believe they are the cayenne variety.

These puppies are 20 times hotter than a jalapeno and 10 times hotter than tabasco sauce. However, they are only 1/5th the hotness of the thai peppers I grow (got 9 really awesome thai chilli plants this year). But hey, they are still good.

Lookie here if'ns ya don't beeleave me:




To do what I planned to do with them (GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!), I first needed to snip the stems.

BTW, Mundial kitchen shears are da bomb! Hand crafted in Madrid, doncha know.


And I also needed to pierce them full of holes:






You'll notice I don't wear rubber gloves when handling chillis. It's cus I'm not a wuss. Besides, I've got so many callouses from, ah, um, er, other activities that I don't have to worry about and juice stinging.

But what am I planning on doing with these chillis? Weeeeeeelllllllllll, since you asked...

This is a 750 ml bottle ready for BEER! 750 mls is twice the size of wussie US beers, BTW. These are BIG chillis!

They barely even fit!




One with, one without.

Soon to be both "with".

And after a nice lager has been added to do it's secondary fermentation in the bottle




I'll let you know how they taste in about a week from now.

Hey, take a chance! Ya never know!