Audience Participation Time!

This would of course mean that I'm feeling too bleedin' lazy to put up a real post and yet I pheal compelled to put something up else ya'll will think I fell of the face of the Earth (again).

That reminds me, I AM working on the rest of my 100% percent true Alien Abduction story so expect posts about that to appear sporadically and spasmodically throughout this coming century.

But for today YOU (yes YOU, not the other one but YOU) get to be creative!

YOU get to come up with either a caption, a short paragraph, or even a short story about a coupla pics that YOU are about to see. Obviously just use the comment function, no worries mates.

This first one can be tackled from many different angles. Is it an evil grin behind that mask or non at all? What is he planning? Who is he? What is he doing? And what exactly is that thing that is attached to his face?

Possibilities are endless mates! So put your tinfoil thinking caps, snort deeply from your powdery supply of scents of humor, and GIVE IT A GO MATES!





***********************************************************************

Now this second one is also an actual photo that I took. Although it was during a reconnaissance expedition of the third moon of Ceti Gamma Prime in the alien spaceship that I commandeered during my 100% TRUE Alien Abduction story and not here on Earth like the above photo was taken... Whoops! I've said too much, better take that blue pill now!

See how easy it is?

Here's the actual photo:


Oh wait, you'll definitely want to see it larger sized, and make sure you have a good squizz in all the shadowy areas for extra detailing and ideas for captions/comments/stories/etc.




Alrighty everyone! Go bang your funny bones on your collective door frames and let's see what YOU come up with!

A Little of This, A Little of That.

G'day mates! How are ya? Has this winter (or summer) been treating you nicely? Lemme know, eh?

I'm hoping that everyone is now happy again now that I'm posting regularly again --fingers, toes, eyes, legs, ankle, arms all crossed in the hope that I can keep it up!

Don't expect any rhyme nor reason from my posts, one day you may see me running around an alien spaceship, the next you may see an embarrassed koala! Why the flighty-ness? It's not that I don't have a short attention span, it's just that I get ummmmm, side-tracked (yeah, that's it!) more often than knot and then a few days go by as I try to finish up (start!) a post that was a great idea at the time and befour I know it; a month has gone by-BYE!

Well (and that's a deep subject), NO MORE! I'll post whatever darned thing comes to my mind and type whatever darned stuff spews itself through my fingertips, onto my keyboard, onto your screen, into your eyeballs, then the spewed stuff finally comes to rest in some back-corner, unused area of your memory.

I hope you don't mind.

And no, I had absolutely NO IDEA I was going to type what I have typed thus far, I just let the fingers spew forth whatever they phelt like spewing forth.

*screeeeeeeeech* Insert sound of brakes

Changing gears now.

Many of you may or may not be aware that I'm going to have to travel to the US for a coupla weeks near the end of May. The reason is quite obvious as it involves Arlington National Cemetary. I will unfortunately NOT be able to work in a visit to Alaska (seriously grumbling about that), in fact it'll be an East Coast only trip with the exception of an airport or two.

I do not plan on cutting my hair (still no gray and approaching 50!!!!). Haven't cut it since late 1998 so why ruin a good thing, eh? I am not planning on shaving my long goatee (ok, it has a couple of gray strands) which is rapidly becoming a cross betwixt a long Van Dyke type and a short Manchu type. I also have long sideburns.

And to make sure that I'm fairly noticable, I will be bringing and wearing my tie-dye shirt collection!

Ain't they purdy?



Oh, and I'll be wearing one of several pairs of crocs routinely and wearing a black, roo-skin, acubra-style Aussie hat.

And a camera around my neck at pretty much all times. Yes, I'll be the weird tourist from Oz! Anybody gotta problem wit dat?

I have been continuing to play with and learn Vue 10. Great program! Loves it, I does! Check this out mates:


Here it is much more bigger sized:


Pretty good eh? All from scratch from Yours Truly! Vue also renders much faster than Bryce, this only took 6 hours to renders and talk about realistic plants!

Next up, dave makes a lame joke.

I am about to make a joke that may be a major embarrassment to me. So much so that I may go hide my head in shame rather like this:


The joke is a visual one. It's from one of my own pictures too!

You know how some people (not naming names mind you) tend to see phallic symbols everywhere? Yes, it's true some people do, not sure why.

Well, thinking along that "type" of line... What does this next picture remind you of?


I know, I'm a bad, evil, vile person and you don't need to tell me where I'm going cus I already know the way.

Ok, joke's over.

Those of you who know me in real life know that I have a knack for resting. And sleeping. Stay tuned for next time as I tell you ALL about my embarrassing history of sleeping and resting in what *some* people might think are inappropriate places!

Something Seems Odd...

... about this picture.

Can you find the oddity and also the meaning of it?






And there is a perfectly logical explanation for the oddity too, also.

Fine! So there! Happy Early Birthday to ME!

Haaaaaaaa-RUMPH!

And no one even made mention of the song. So I've deleted it. So there.

*tttthhhbtbtbttbthtbttthhtbt*

*hmmph* gonna go take a nap or three.

It may come as a surprise to some of you, but I do age! No, please... don't swoon ladies, I'm human*

Fortunately, as I plan to live well into triple digits, I am not middle aged yet. But I will tell you that I share a birthday with a few famous people. Any guesses?

I shall now go hide in a tree.




I also know some of the pressie's I will be receiving! Ha!

2 of them involve new software. I've already downloaded the how-to's and what-it's of one of them and am currently studying it.

Another involves a DOWN UNDA margarita party in honor of ME --don't swoon ladies, I'm human*-- for which I've just bought the supplies! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!


I shall now go toss fleas in your general direction.







*For the last few years that I've been using that expression, not ONE of you have ever asked me about it. Does that mean I'm awesomely studly-like?

Love Thy Neighbor

And put up with him. And let him pester you during the day to fix his computer. And help him move in three MASSIVE (bloody-well heavy, mate) rainwater tanks. And let him borrow any tools he needs. And keep an eye on his place when they are out of town.

Why?

Is it because I am a nice (don't swoon ladies, I'm human) guy?

No.

Well, actually, I AM a nice guy (ok, you can swoon now).

Why do I like my neighbor Frank?

He's one of those "salt of the earth" blokes. A country bloke. Tells it like it is. Loudly. Very loudly. But that's not why I like him.

Why do I "love my neighbor"?

Cus of where he (and his family) go during the school holidays. See, his wife --Mary, very nice lady-- is a school teacher and they are all from rural Vic just across the border.

His son, Jess --plays a damned good piano for a 13 year old, helps him out on the property over in Vic when they all head back.

What sort of property is it, you may ask?

He has vines.

As in vineyards.

Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of vines.

I do believe the grapes he grows are all contracted out to a local winery over there.

He brings The Most Awesomely Tasting Grapes back over here this time of year! And he has a permit so there's no quarantine!

Just look at the haul he dropped off yesterday:



Yes, BIL has really fuzzy arms.

These are the most succulent, firm, flavourful, tender grapes I've ever had. Heck, I even make sure I don't wash the 'stash or beard after eating Frank's grapes so that I can suck the juice outta my facial hair at 3 am! Yes, they are that good.

Doesn't that paint a pretty picture? Yes, I thought so.

And for putting up with me babblings, how's abouts some pictures?


Oi mate! Are you eating that piece of bread?



Damn I hate going to the bistro right when the kids get outta school!



Don't turn around mate! That bipedal pervert with the camera is watching us again and we don't want to encourage him.



Hey look! They actually DO move:

Alien Abduction Act VIII --Photographic evidence!

Yes that's right folks. An outside, independent, third-party source has now verified my completely true Alien Abduction! See, so far the pitcures have been taken by Wifey-Poo. Except, of course, with the notable exception of the latest one where I'm blasting off into space with my sledge-hammer to smash the aliens to bits and eat their brains. That one I had to reconstruct from memory.

*ahem*

The two pictures that I'm putting up today comes to you directly (via me) from a secret Chinese spy satellite! And just how, I hear you ask, did I get my hands on these beauties? Well, as any of you who read the comments can tell, I have frequent contact with my evil Chinese overlords via the comments on this blog. And as a reward for my service they have sent through 2 pictures taken at the time of my true alien abduction.

Would you like to see them?

Of course you would. But you'll have to wait while I mention a Truthful Third Thing About Me That You Can't Learn From Reading This Blog. Yes Ti, I'm gonna milk this tag for all it is worth.

*throat clearing sound*

#3 I know what was the favorite beer of George Washington. Yes, that George Washington. Oh c'mon, you know! General George Washington? First President of the US? Ring any bells with anyone?

Not only that, but I also know the origins of this type of beer and also exactly how it got its name.

I also have George Washington's personal recipe for making "small beer". That means the cheap crap.

I also know the law passed in Massatoochits in 1637 prescribing just how much malt is needed for each quality of brew.

And I did NOT use Ma Google nor the Great Wikipedia. In fact, I didn't use the ole Series of Tubes at all!

Those of you know me, this surely comes as no surprise.

And here's the cool part. I'll tell you. But only if you pay me! Or help spread my fame to the far corners and nether regions of the Blogosphere. So, all my regulars can each send me USD$100 OR promote the heck out of this blog and I'll share the above info.

***********************************************************

Next topic: I'm still infected. 3 weeks and 3 completely different infections. Needless to say, I'm pretty well wiped out --too many schnitzengrubens fed to me from Madelaine Kahn.

And from now on I PROMISE to keep my fly zipped! *ahem*

***********************************************************

Watched The Myth last night. Awesomely good movie. Jackie Chan at his finest! No, not a comedy. I'm not going to write anything about it till at least ONE of you goes and rents it, watches it, and tells me what you think.

Forbidden Kingdom with Jet Li was damned good too.

**********************************************************

And now...

What you've all been waiting for...

*drum roll please*

The secret Chinese spy satellite photos of me being blasted into to space towards the waiting alien space ship!

This first one CLEARLY shows me rocketing upwards from Adelaide, South Australia, Australia, Southern Hemisphere, Planet Earth towards the waiting alien space ship! Please notice Indonesia towards the left of the picture...




Before the evil alien space ship could recloak, it passed under the Chinese spy satellite... Apparantly these aliens paint a picture of their leader on the top of the control dome for their ship. I, however, did not, of course, see the top of the ship so at this point I have NO idea what to expect on board with the exception of their being some wonderful, juicy, tasty brains for me to eat --remember, I was still an undead, brain-eating zombie at this point.





Coming up soon: we learn just who is in control of the alien ship! And zombie dave is chased through the ship!

Wee-hoo!

Is this fun or what?

I feel like dying...

Don't bother calling the ambulance, just go straight for the undertaker.

Ugh.

Double ugh.

Butt I have knot let my loyal reeders down. No sirree! I've been working on the alien spaceship in between naps and delusionally, hallucinatory fits of semi-consciousnessitude.

And the A.S.S. (alien space ship) is looking great! Yes, even in my undead zombie state I still recalled what the ship that abducted me looked like before I ate all their brains.

If you are either knew two this blog ore are really confused, then just start here for the backstory:

Prelude
Act I
Act II
First Intermission
Act III
Act IV
Act V
Second Intermission
Act VI
Act VII

I'm still putting on the finishing touches of the ship but I felt like posting SOMETHING! Especially since know won has guessed which critter left the "sine" nor what the critter was eating. No, I'm not going to repost the pictures of the seed-laced critter crap, just look through the last few posts to find out what the are.

The critter: An emu! This should have been obvious since I've already posted pics of emu crap and identified it for you (hint, it's all about the bouquet, not the flavour).

It was eating: Rose-hips and brambleberries! Again, this would have been obvious if any of you were following my tweets about Wifey-Poo and I going out brambling and rose-hipping.

Really now, doesn't this just scream emu crap with organically processed rose-hips and brambles?





Moving on to more pleasant birdies...

I have a semi-decent picture of an Australian Superb Fairy Wren. These little buggas are small, flighty, and fast. The trick to getting a good picture is to find an area where you hope one of them may come along and then wait quietly. The waiting part can take a wee while but just think of it as kinda like communing with nature...




Quick! Is it a male or a female?

Did you know that the average mass of an adult fairy wren is 9 grams? Yep, pretty light. For those of you still living in the dark ages of measurement (metric is base TEN! Like the number of digits on your hands! Very handy!) and have no idea just how "heavy" 9 grams is, here's what you due.

Go to the kitchen. Put a bit of tap water into a glass. Go to the drawer with your wife's measuring spoons and grab a 1 teaspoon spoon. It'll probably be marked with something like "1 tsp". Now, cup one of your palms (upwards!) and carefully measure and pour 2 tsp of the tap water into your palm. Did you notice the HUGE mass of water in your hand? Well, a fairy wren is less than that by around 11%.

Oh, if you are in Fairbanks and live near the airport or along Chena Pump Road or Rosie Creek road then you only want 1 tsp of water as the water out there is so hard and so full of iron the all the faucets point northwards --at least that's what I've heard.

*********************************************************************

How do I feel today? I feel like I've been shot at and missed, but shit at and hit. Yes, I feel like shit.

Massive sinus, throat and ear infection on left side. And there's a lot of puffiness under my left eye so it looks like I've been in a punchup. I've been od-ing on echinacia, rosehip, vitamin C, and colloidal silver. I'm surprised I haven't turned blue with orange highlights...

And when I haven't been working my fingers to the bone while working on my A.S.S. --alien space ship-- for all of you, I have been doing this:




Almost forgot! I was tagged last post! So hear is the Second Thing About Me That You Won't Find Out About By Reading This Blog...

Ready?

And this is the TRUTH!

Ahem...

I know which direction the toilets in Australia flush in relation to those in the US! And I dare any of you sciencey types in the US to come up with the REAL answer! Bwuuu-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa!

And lastly, I have some pictures of a particular female that likes to hang around the backyard. Yes, Sarah Palin is back down unda!

I have two (count em) pictures of her! Stark naked Sarah Palin! In the first one she flaunts her feminine wares by exposing her Hairy Sarah Palin Armpit! And in the second one Sarah Palin Wanks My Woody!

Oooooo..... This should make for some interesting searches tonight...

Firstly, Sarah Palin showing her hairy armpits!




And here's Sarah Palin Wanking My Woody!

Oh baby, what sharp claws you have!

Me Masta Plan! MwuuHAHAHAAAAA!

Yes, that's right. You *did* read the title correctly. Yes, I know it may come a surprising shock to my regulars, I DO sometimes make plans.

And the neato part of my plans is that they always work! So there.

My usual plan is made at bedtime each night. I always plan to wake up sometime within the next 20 hours. Works like a charm and hasn't failed me yet.

Unless you count that time I slept for 666 years straight, but otherwise; no worries! I won't regale you with the details as my psychiatrist says I shouldn't discuss it with normal folk.


Here's my plan for today, Friday, 4th of December, 6009:

Wake up. Check, already done.

Disentangle panther, and his fangs and claws, from leg and chuck his furry butt outside. Check.

Take a nap. Check.

Plan dinner. Check --grilled blue grenadier.

Now for the unchecked ones...

Make two loaves of bread. One regular, one whey.

Make beer. Load the primary fermenter with a batch of stout.

Check the feta for the brining. Adjust brine if needed.

Check the aging of the wensleydale. Brush salt flakes off if needed.

Vacuum pool bottom. This is best done from WITHIN the pool, trust me.

Practice violin. Try not to make too many screechy sounds.

Photoshop a bunch of pics to post on my blog and claim they are real.

Take a nap.

Make more beer. Load the SECOND (yay me!!!) primary fermenter with lager.

Cook dinner.

Eat dinner.

Wrestle the panther till he's exhausted and ready to come in for the night.

Watch one of them newfangled 4-dimension movies. *think about it, you'll figure it out*

*up until now, everything has been done while wearing my new, really cool pair of white crocs*

Read a book about particle physics.

Take an 8 hour nap, plan to wake up sometime tomorrow.


I think I can pretty much keep up with that plan today. What do you think?

And totally offtopic, I made some sausage sushi the other day. It was delicious.

New And Improved! Now With Even MORE Full Frontal Nudity!

I have just realised something. No, not THAT! Sheesh, y'all are disgusting!

I've realized that when I post funny things or funny pictures or stupid stories about me (don't swoon ladies, I'm human) I get a helluva lot more comments than when I post boring stuff.

Hmmmmm, this explains the popularity of silly reality shows as opposed to hard-hitting, factual news stuff.

Verdict: It's all about ENTERTAINMENT!

I've also noticed that not too many of you get my quickie, obscure puns and references to obscure stuff. But don't worry, I'll keep putting them in --an example is the "don't swoon" throwaway I use. Until someone. who is not an Aussie, can explain it then I'm gonna keep using it!

So there.

Harumph.

I started this here blog with the intent that each post would have a humourous story about my youth in Alaska, plus something to do with food.

Since then, I've hived off a food blog and the rest of the blog has taken several turns. Some of them drastic, some not. But I did give meself whiplash on one of the turns.

I guess it all comes back to keeping y'all (give yourselves a hand, just don't forget to shave your palm afterwards) entertained.

Apparantly, lately, asking for kapshuns for a photo just doesn't keep you entertained. Perhaps it's cus you have to jump start the ole unused brain cells? Or maybe you're too busy shaving your palms perhaps?

Either way, I'm disappointed. This pic




was an open invitation to you. Open season on dave! Perhaps he was being abducted by weird alien parrots. Maybe his private parts got caught in the pool filter. Or that this was his expression when he found out just how much a sunburned wang-doodle hurts.

Sheesh. And there I was thinking it was just too easy.

I've got similar pics of myself with the same expression, dontcha know.

Here's one of them:




*BREAKER BREAKER*

Been trying to get a pic where the double opposable thumbs of a koala are showing. Got one!




*BACK TO THE RAMBLINGS*

... and that's how I got stinking rich!

Which brings me back to photos.

Specifically ones of me showing full frontal nudity.

Ahem.




Please note that I was very careful to keep my wang-doodle from getting sunburned.






And I just can't resist putting this photo up ONE MORE TIME! Why? Well cuz it's the bestest ever official guvmint photo EVER!

Toot, Toot... TWEET!

Yes, yes. I know. Some of you sew-fis-tee-kay-ted readers are, quite obviously, expecting a treatise about a particular song from a particular film that Dick Van Dyke was in. And I'm sure you just assume I made a typo and that the last word of this post title should be *sweet* and not *tweet*.

However, I do feel you'll be disappointed as I'm not writing this post to cater to my sew-fis-tee-kay-ted readers. I am instead, of course, aiming this post to the more mundane type of reader.

This means that 99% of you won't get the joke, nor will you think it's phunny cuz it's not sew-fis-tee-kay-ted.

This has to do with my Twitter account --yes, I've heard all the jokes. Heck, I made up most of them!

For this particular waste of time, I blame AKM. She's the one who tweeted about the #altSarahPalinBookTitles and I just happened to see a few of the titles. I realised that I could come up with some good titles since many of you think/know that I am funny(looking).

So it's truly NOT MY FAULT that I didn't have time to make Planet Kokon for some particular unnamed individual.

Let me stress ONCE MORE: It. Is. Not. My. Fault! It is someone elses fault --ALWAYS!

Would you like to see how I wasted my time? Of course you would! I shall now give you my tweets from a couple of days ago.

AKdavedownunder "I'll Never Stop Makin' Things Up! *Wink*"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
10:55 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "My Cold, Black Heart Just Caused Hell to
Freeze Over" #altSarahPalinBookTitles
10:57 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "My Book to Nowhere"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:02 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Everything I Need to Know I Learned in
Junior High School" #altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:04 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "How Not to Become Vice President"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:07 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Here's Where I Blame The Pajama-Clad
Bloggers for Everything That's Wrong in My Life" #altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:09 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Gotta Go, Putin's Head Just Reared *wink*"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:10 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Tawd! Fetch Me Muh Shotgun! I's Huntin'
Libruls" #altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:12 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "I Can See Dollar Signs From Here"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:13 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "How To Fleece The Sheeple"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:15 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "My Little un-Read Book"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:17 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "I Told Lynn Vincent Not To Use Big Words"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:19 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Naughty Monkey Pumps Can Make You
Famous Like Me" #altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:20 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "How To Properly Wear CFM Boots While
Pretending To Govern" #altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:21 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Does This Book Make Me Look Slutty?"
subtitle: I Sure Hope So! #altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:24 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "ths bk is vry guud. pls by it, thx"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:28 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Momma Grisly Bear"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:30 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Infamy, Infamy! They've All Got It In Fo' Me!"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:32 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Waiter, I'd Like Some Cheese With My
Whine" #altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:36 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "In What Respect, Rupert?"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:41 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "True Stories of Alien Abduction"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:42 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "How To Stay One Step Ahead of The IRS"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:43 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Brainwashing For Dummies"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:45 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "How to Quit Anything in Three Easy Steps"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:50 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Stupidity On The Iditarod Trail"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles with apologies to Dana Stabenow
11:55 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "I'm Baaaaaack!" #altSarahPalinBookTitles
11:58 AM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Sarah's Adventures in Kindergarten"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
12:03 PM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Little Red Lying Hood"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles
12:07 PM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Grim Fairy Tales" #altSarahPalinBookTitles
12:07 PM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Two Mules for Sister Sarah"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles Ok, I did around 30 an hour ago, I SWEAR this is
the last one.
2:01 PM Nov 18th from web


AKdavedownunder "Stuck in The Immoral Mudflats"
#altSarahPalinBookTitles I lied, just like an ex-gov who aborted her term
as guv of AK.
2:03 PM Nov 18th from web



I shall now not type anything for the next five minutes in order to give you time to clean up the coffee/tea/beer/wine/whiskey/everclear that has been spewed upon you keyboard and/or monitor.

tick



tock


Ok, 5 minutes is up!

I'm now going to ask all my sew-fis-tee-kay-ted and non-sew-fis-tee-kay-ted readers to come up with a caption for this next picture. The picture is of me. I shall not tell you what I was doing --at least not yet. Put on yer tinfoil thinkin' caps and give it a go, mates!





Seriously, if you can't come up with a good caption for that face then your mundane, boring, cubicle job has totally crushed and buried your thought processes! Dig yourself out! You can do it! Be free!!!!

Sorry, getting a little carried away. Note to self: try to cut back to only 3 pots of coffee in the morning.

BONUS

A conversation with WP! Remember, WP is Wifey-Poo also known as the most wonderful woman in the entire world (I hope she reads this). YT is Yours Truly --that'd be me, don't swoon ladies, I'm human.

*this took place this morning around 7 am in the back garden*

WP: Dear, last night you said you were going on a bike ride this morning.

YT: Yeah, but it looks like rain.

WP: And perhaps you've just cleaned the drivetrain and don't want it to get mucky?

YT: Uhhhh... Yeah! That's right! Don't wanna get the clean chain and gears dirty.

WP: I see.

...

WP: Any other reason why you aren't riding?

YT: Well, actually, yes.

WP: Do tell.

YT: I didn't want to get wet in the rain.

WP: Ah. Of course not dear. But it looks like the rain is approaching now.

YT: Oh crap!

*YT looks around frantically*

YT: Honey?

WP: Yes dear?

YT: Could you go inside and get me a dry towel? I'd better get out of the pool and dry off before the rain gets here. Don't wanna get wet, ya know?

*at this point WP walks away muttering something under her breath that our hero can't hear*

Today's To-Do List

And make sure you keep an eye on my tweets as I'll be tweeting each time a task is finished.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeere's the List:

Clean and sterilise all cheese-making stuff
Clean and sterilise all beer-making stuff
Make beer
Start cheese-making (this is an all day thing whereupon I do other stuff-multitask!)
Take nap
Get bread dough started
Check the cheese curds
Build a planet
Plan dinner
Take nap
Finish the bread
Continue with the cheese-making (should be in hoops by now)
Check wort temperature
Clean pool
Take nap
Post to recipe blog
Start dinner (tonight will be tempura fish, squid, crab. With homemade chips (fries))
Eat dinner
Check cheese, make sure weights are balanced for pressing
Fall asleep (with cat on lap)in front of whatever movie everyone wants to watch.
Go to bed --try not to kill the cat when he tries to wake me up at 2 am.

BTW I'm already done with the first two items.