Alien Abduction Act XV --Encountering The Alien Guards!

Butt befour we get to this particular chapter in my completely true Alien Abduction story, I think it's best if I actually put up a few pics (and maybe even a video!!!) of some Aussie critters.

Why, you ask? Cuz it's been a while since I have, that's why! Or didn't any of you notice? No? Perhaps that's because I haven't been as much of the prolific posting personality as I used to be?

Well, whatever the reason, I shall now just shut up and show you some pics of Little Corella Cockatoos!


Obviously that morning was pretty overcast. Hey, we do sometimes see clouds down here! Those little corellas were part of a slightly larger flock:


And that was about a tenth of the flock!

Some of you may know (or knot) that when you get a fairly sizable group of birds together that they like to talk amongst themselves. Well, parrots are no different!

Would you like to know what the sound of a flock of little correllas sounds like at 7:00 AM?

Would ya?

Woodja woodja woodja?

Of course you would. But first you have to make sure your computer sound volume is turned to maximum as you want to make sure the whole office building or subdivision can share in your joy at hearing these bird.

So, just, like, click play!


Soothing, isn't it?

*********************************************************************************

Now on with my true alien abduction story! With everything recreated by Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human!) with his awesomely perfect photographic memory! Yes, this is what REALLY happened! *wink*

In case you missed some earlier acts due to hanging out in the lobby chatting up the sheila or bloke behind the popcorn counter or perhaps toking up in the bathroom, here's a quickie recap!

Note: some of my astute readers may recognize the following paragraph verbatim from Act XII but I don't mind plagiarizing myself!

Yes, it's time for another installment in the completely, 100% true story of my alien abduction. Don't you remember? This was after I died after cutting myself shaving with a meat cleaver in the pool and was then brought back to an undead, brain-craving, zombie state from a lightning strike and then was transported up to the A.S.S. (Alien Space Ship) cus I struck the pyramid on top of my roof with my lightning-charged sledgehammer and was then transformed into an undead, brain-eating, hulking beast with a club roaming the cave-like corridors of the A.S.S. that had the rego number of C4P-PFP2012.

Whew! And just in case any of you need sausage lynx to the previous acts...


Prelude to Alien Abduction. Nothing to do with aliens though. Just me being stupid.

Alien Abduction Act I. Where it all begins. Plus some pretty hot pics of me and Wifey-Poo!

Act II. This is where I use a meat cleaver to shave with whilst in the pool!

Act III. Buried at sea. And sushi too!

Act IV. Lighting storm reanimates my corpse!

Act V. My zombie self begins to calm down.

Act VI. A sledge-hammer wielding zombie is great to have in the kitchen!

Act VII. Blasting off Earth and towards the A.S.S. !!!

Act VIII. Photographic evidence of the A.S.S. from a passing Chinese spy satellite.

Act IXa. Promotional material for the real Act IX.

Act IX. Alien ship identified!

Act X. My arrival aboard the A.S.S.

Act XI. Very tricky aliens!

Act XII. We finally meet the aliens!!!!!!!!!!!

Act XIII. Charging towards the control room!


Now for a very brief picture recap! After which you'll get to see (and read) Act XV!

And here are some of those great, full-sized NON-PHOTOSHOPPED pics!

This one is from the passing, cloaked, Chinese spy satellite.



And here's one the Russians took from the ISS!


This is the one where I distinctly remember seeing the rego number on the A.S.S.


And remember, the Chinese spy satellite got a pic of the TOP of the A.S.S. too, also.


You may remember that after I materialized inside the A.S.S the aliens then activated some sort of hologramaphic device that changed the corridors to caves. I distinctly remember charging through the caves and encountering this sign:


I quickly hung a left (me being rather left-leaning) and as I charged down the cavern the rock walls changed back into the actual, real corridors of the A.S.S. However, I was still my lightning-charged, zombie-ized, club-wielding, brain-eating undead self. Fortunately, my body had retained it's original, studly self!




Now begins Act XV of my TRUE Alien Abduction!


Whilst charging down the corridor onboard the A.S.S. in search of alien brains to eat as I was still in my zombie state, I passed through several doors that opened and closed automatically as I raced towards what I hoped was the control room of the A.S.S. so that I could eat some tasty alien brains and just hopefully find an escape pod to get back to Oz and perchance find a way to get back to what passes for normal for me.


*Isn't that an awesomely great sentence from Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human!) that I typed all by me oneses and Wifey-Poo (Most Wonderful Woman In The Entire World) tells me is actually grammatically correct?*

Just as I was beginning to think the A.S.S. with the rego number C4P-PFP2012 (remember kiddies, Gene Roddenberry proved that all space ships have rego #'s painted on the outside in English!) was totally deserted, I arrived at a pair of doors that hopefully led to the control and some tasty alien brains... and the door was GUARDED!

By aliens!

Imagine my surprise as my zombie self became the first Earthling to come face to face with REAL aliens!

Just

imagine

the

shocked

look

on

my

face!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.



Yeah, I'm quite sure I looked EXACTLY like that!

And what did I see in front of me?

Glad you asked mates!

And now we finally get to see what the alien guards who are guarding the door which may or may not be an entrance to the control room look like!

Are you ready?

Are you sure?















As you can tell, this is about to get... shall we say... Interesting?

Stay tuned for Act XVI as more silliness comes your way from the merry old land of Oz!

From Wifey-Poos Store of Useless Information

And before any of you get upset at that, I'm not the one who calls it that! She does. I tell her it's not useless! Nothing with Wifey-Poo is ever useless, trust me on that.

Now if she's reading this then I won't have to sleep on the couch tonight!

First though, how's abouts a birdy pic from the backyard? Kids, don't try this at home!


Just HOW do they do that?

Back to the information from Wifey-Poo.

We were watching a show on the telly the other night. The show was from the year 1981 and I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out by reading what Wifey-Poo said whilst we were watching it.

Wifey-Poo: Did you know the lady playing Trillion was married to Peter Davison and they had a daughter named Sophia Miles who was engaged to Tennant so she was not only the wife of The Doctor but also almost his Mother-In-Law?

Yours Truly: Ummmmm... Yes dear.

I made some more braided bread the other day. Some of you may have seen this on me twitter timeline, but it may to new to many of you:



Pretty cool looking, eh?

Australian Flora and Fauna Pictures

Plus a few other pictures. Why? Why not! It's my blog and I can put any pictures of anything on it. So there.

Firstly, how's abouts some closeup pics of roses? Everyone loves roses, right? These were taken right after a rain shower and I tells ya that you just gotta click on them to embiggen. It. Will. Be. Worth. It.

Download, use as wallpaper, tell your friends, no worries. Full size they are 1600 by 1200.

Firstly is a peach colored rose with dew drops.





Seriously, Puh-Leeze click to make it bigger. Pretty please?

Here's a red rose with dew drops. You can magickly make it a full size of 1600 by 1200 picksuls too! Feel free to purr-loin this photo too, no worries.





And just how about this bloke?

G'day mates! Didja know I gots bi-knock-you-lar vision?



Now, at this point I do feel the need to add a slight editorial comment/advice for me blog blokes and blokettes way up north. In Alaska, of course.

Didja all know that very soon you will be looking at this and feeling the minus 60 degree Fartenheight temperatures that inspired this photo?


Please click to make it slightly larger. And it's another freebie from Yours Truly --don't swoon ladies, I'm human!

It was made in Bryce with 6 different terrains. The terrains were all made in Terragen Basic and exported as 8-bit .sgi pngs, imported and played with in Bryce to make the mountains. Lots of atmospheric effects too. I'm pleased. It looks DAMNED COLD!

See, she agrees with me.

Don't even THINK of moving me to that climate!



I shall now go take a nap as that seems to be one of the myriad things I'm good at. Plus I like taking naps... Hello little nap, where shall I take you?




Perhaps I'll take one over here instead.




Nope, changed me mind. This is the bestest nap-taking spot!

Video of wild koala climbing tree

Shall we just cut to the chase and show you the vid? Of course. This bloke was around 70 to 80 feet up, handheld camera on full zoom.





Hey look! Mean ole Sarah Palin is poking her beady little head around Todd's butt to glare at the neighbors!




Just so you don't think I'm neglecting my new toys (ooooh baby!), I figure I'd better give you a picture of a work in progress in Bryce 7 Pro. I'm sure that all of smart readers will instantly be able to figure out what it is.




Now if you'll excuse me, I need to figure out what I'm going to make for dinner tonight...

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Step Right Up and ALL Your Questions Will Be Answered!

Yes indeedy all you little ladies! Just step right up to the Imaginarium of Doctor Dave and all your answers will be questioned!

or something like that

Can anyone guess what film we watched last night? Anyone? Just leave a comment. HINT: It really plumm-s the depp-ths...

Butt I do have two answers for you --don't swoon ladies, I'm human-- instead of only the one you may or may not have been expectorating.

Firstly: why my but was sore and bruised. It has to do with my back. And pressure points. Yes, I had a visit to my chiro a week before my birthday. Wee-Hoo!!!! Happy Birthday to me; here dave, go ahead and treat yourself to a sore ass!

Butt no, it really did help. She had to do some serious work on the pressure points of my right glute with her elbow in order to get the swelling and pain to go away. It worked! She really is amazing, dontcha know. Heck, I can even go in for stuffed sinuses and a few deftly applied thumbs to the top of my neck and all the sinus pressure is GONE.

Alice is cool. Ummmmm, that's Dr Lay actually.

Much better than modern drugs. Butt that's just me.

*********************************************************************

Next answer: My age.

It's sorta kinda like gettin' up there. *wink*

In fact, I am now 2.659009203 *10 ^ 53 planck time units old, and my back with its 4 compressed vertebrae, off-kilter pelvis, off-kilter shoulders, and twisted neck vertebrae feel EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of those planck time units.

I suspect that 3 (three) of my readers can figure out my age. The rest of you can go bugga off mates!

Ha-rumph.


**************************************************************************

It's been a while since I've put up some pictures of Australian wildlife. I shall fix that problem.

I think this lorikeet had it's neck lock. I can relate.

Dude, just give Alice a ring! She'll fix it!

It's quite common for Aussie ladies going au natural to ask me if I think their butt is too big. Here's proof.

Ooooh dave, does my butt look too big?

Wouldn't you just hate to wake up with this bloke staring at you?




The other day I noticed this critter. Not sure whether it's an ant pretending to be a spider or a spider pretending to be an ant. Either way, I wasn't gonna get any closer!

Judging by the eyes, I'm guessing spider.

There's a koala asleep here somewhere...




Oh, why look! Here it is:




This flying bloke picked just the COOLEST LOOKING plant to hang out on!




Just now many cats can YOU find in this picture?




As always just leave your guesses in the comments to anything I may or may not have mentioned, no worries mates.

One last thing... As I'm sure you have all already sent birthday presents/offerings to me (don't swoon ladies, I'm human) I have, most regrettably, yet to receive any of them. Therefore I've decided that all the birthday pressies I receive from you, my loyal readers, shall be put under the tree for Christmas.

Just remembered!

A conversation with Wifey-Poo!

Just a reminder, WP is Wifey-Poo, otherwise known as The Most Wonderful Woman In The Entire World, and YT is Yours Truly --don't swoon ladies, I'm human.

*YT walks into mission control (the 'puter room) carrying his best steel wok*

YT: Honey?

WP: Yes dear? *crap, what does that idiot want now?*

YT: I need to check my tags. Do you know where they are?

WP: ??????????? *????????????????*

YT: You know, my hunting tags.

WP: I'm totally clueless with this one. *can't he EVER let me work without some dumbass conversation?*

YT: I just need to make sure it's the right time of year for this.

WP: For what?

YT: Well, I need to season the wok!

WP: *SOB*


********************************************************************

And on a final note... If none of you ask where I got or why I use the fraze "don't swoon ladies, I'm human" then I'm just gonna... ummmm, errrrrr, KEEP USING IT!

So there.

Cute Cockatoos

T'was a Dark and Stormy Day?

Suddenly, a shot rang out!

A maid screamed!

A door slammed!

Snoopy smiled whilst perched atop his doghouse with his trusty typewriter.

Charles Schulz cringed.

His ghost snickered.

And since most of you have absolutely no idea what I'm writing about... I shall now show you.

When you look upwards at a sky that appears thusly:



and your first thought is "oh, so pretty" then you probably don't know this means to the non-city dwellin' folk, "Crap! Storm comin'!"

It wasn't long till the sun was blotted out by the rapidly approaching front...




This winter storm caused lots of flooding around Adelaide, various roofs were not-roofs, and a tornado hit one of the outlying communities.

We don't get tornadoes down here in South Oz. My feeling is that it was a water spout that not only made landfall but continued on for a long time. Just my opinion, of course.

************************************************************************

Anyone remember Highlander?


I am the one!
The only one!
I am the God of kingdom come!
Now gimme the prize!
Just gimme the prize!

And now, just...

Gimme the camera!



Do you remember when I was writing about yellow-tailed black cockatoos a few posts ago? I've got some pics of the Belair flock!

Yes indeedy, this'll prove that I've seen them!

I'm sure you can all tell that these aren't crows. Look at their wingtips and the head morphology. Yep, these are cockies alright. Trust me when I say (write) that they have a yellow tail and yellow wingtips.

Here's a much better picture of them.

This

pic

will

astound

you

with

it's

brilliance,

clarity,

and

whatever

other

crappy

adjective

I

care

to

use.



Are your seatbelts fastened?

Are your tray-tables in an upright, locked position?

Have you grabbed the flight attendants butt (male, female, doesn't matter)?

Check this pic out of a flock a yellow-tailed black cockatoos!




Ready?







Proof! Word, baby!

Have You Ever Been So Embarrassed...

...that you have had to go hide your head in shame?

Have you?

I have.

It was, fortunately, I long time ago. Not recently, of course.

I felt kinda like this:




I'm sure glad I don't do things like that anymore, WHEW!

*****insert sound of gears grinding as they shift*******

Did you know that there is a species of Aussie cockatoo that is black? With a yellow tail. They are called, quite unimaginatively of course, yellow-tailed black cockatoos.

The first time I saw one --it was a pair of them-- was early in the morning while I was on the bicycle. I'd gone through Cherry Gardens and past the golf course just before Ironbank. I was on my way out to Lenswood via Deviation Road and was going to loop back via the Onkaparinga road, south to Nangkita and heading back via Kangarilla to head back towards the 'burbs of Sturt. Long day.

Anyways, I saw a pair of yellow-tailed black cockies just past the golf course. The sun was barely up and they alighted in a tree right next to the road. They were beauties! Never have seen them that close since.

There's a flock of them that hangs out in the southern Adelaide Hills that Wifey-Poo and I see every once in a while. I do have several picks of black specks that are them, but no sense putting them up.

I do however have a decent pic of a single one.

Would you like to see it?

Of course you would!





Next random topic: Shrooms! I love me some mushrooms!

Here's one that I twisted out of my shroom farm the other day:



Big sucker! It weighed 150 grams. That's 5.33 ounces, or one-third of a pound. It tasted soooooooo good!

Next up: A teaser.

This coming Friday, July 30th, at noon local Adelaide time I will be live tweeting and live blogging an event. For those of you who have no idea about international time zones, I'll give you some handy times.

If you are in Alaska, the event will occur at 6:30 PM, Thursday July 29th.

If you are on the US East coast, the event time will be 10:30 PM, Thursday July 29th.

If you are in France, it'll be 4:30 AM, Friday July 30th.

If you are in Sydney, check in at noon-thirty on the 30th, no worries.

Beer will be involved. And maybe yoghurt. Probably a toilet.

The event should last no longer than 30 minutes. 45 max.

Any guesses?

More Australian Lorikeet Pictures

Plus some other stuff and quite a bit of rambling from Yours Truly --That'd be me; don't swoon ladies, I'm human! BTW, does not ANYONE want to know where the saying, "don't swoon ladies, I'm human" came from? Anyone?

Well, let's git on whit some birdie pics!



Some folks think lories have evil eyes...




This next pic it NOT a photo of the birdie in flight. It is a photograph of the lorikeet that is hanging onto the chain. Just look at the body angle compared to the feet! It seems to be so "off" that if this was attempted to be sold to a major pic library they'd say it was a piss-poor photoshop job!




Let's change some gears! {insert sound of gears grinding here}

What kind of food does Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human) really like? I mean REALLY REALLY REALLY like?

Why, that'd be sushi, of course!




Contest forthcoming!

Like, right now.

What critter is in this picture and where is it?




I have an announcement to make.

I shall make said announcement now.

*clears throat*

Once Le Tour has finished and Yours Truly has caught up on sleep, I shall be live tweeting and live blogging an event. What sort of event might this be, I hear you ask from afar.

I ain't tellin' yet, but suffice to say it shall, of course, involve beer.

Anyone wanna guess as to the nature of the event?

I Am Still Here...

... and you are not! HAHAHHAHAHAHAH

I joke, of course.

I think I'll survive July this year, especially since Cadel's got a broken elbow. The Pyrenees are looming... Caffeine is my bestest friend right now.

Got some pics and some kapshuns for you, hope you enjoy them.

Have I mentioned how much I really really really like sushi? If not, then I have now.

Those are my mushrooms, BTW. All the other veggies are local.


I think everyone ought to have these:




This was taken at the beach a week or so ago.



I make the world's bestest homemade chips. Or pomme frites, or steak fries, or french fries.

No, I DO NOT make freedom fries!


My BIL is a very good modeller. He has several articles published about kit conversions, scratch builds, casting his own parts, airbrushing, etc. He also works parttime up at the Flinders Uni paleo lab painting and airbrushes fossil castings. He's pretty darned good. Here's a pic of piece of a cockpit for some model that HE HAND PAINTED!

Yeah, I'm impressed too.


Hey, you'd be looking pissed off too if you had this branch stuck somewhere!


Naturally, a predicament like that tends to attract a crowd and everyone offers their advice for extrication.




I have a new toy!!!!! Guess what it is!




Why, of course it is a...




You just plug it into a USB port, press the switch on the back, hold it in your hand and it massages away all the aches from typing and mousing all day!




It's also very good if your neck it tight or stiff. Have you ever had a little knot in your upper back around the scapula? Works for that too!

In
fact
it
has
a
whole
plethora
of
uses!

A
veritable
cornucopia
if
you
please!

There's one particular use I just LOVE to use it for!

J
u
s
t

s
c
r
o
l
l

d
o
w
n

a

b
i
t.

D
o
n
'
t

w
o
r
r
y
,

i
t
'
s

w
o
r
k

s
a
f
e!


You can tell it works cus of the stain on the shorts!