Saturday, January 28, 2012

Alien Abduction Act XV --Encountering The Alien Guards!

Butt befour we get to this particular chapter in my completely true Alien Abduction story, I think it's best if I actually put up a few pics (and maybe even a video!!!) of some Aussie critters.

Why, you ask? Cuz it's been a while since I have, that's why! Or didn't any of you notice? No? Perhaps that's because I haven't been as much of the prolific posting personality as I used to be?

Well, whatever the reason, I shall now just shut up and show you some pics of Little Corella Cockatoos!

Obviously that morning was pretty overcast. Hey, we do sometimes see clouds down here! Those little corellas were part of a slightly larger flock:

And that was about a tenth of the flock!

Some of you may know (or knot) that when you get a fairly sizable group of birds together that they like to talk amongst themselves. Well, parrots are no different!

Would you like to know what the sound of a flock of little correllas sounds like at 7:00 AM?

Would ya?

Woodja woodja woodja?

Of course you would. But first you have to make sure your computer sound volume is turned to maximum as you want to make sure the whole office building or subdivision can share in your joy at hearing these bird.

So, just, like, click play!

Soothing, isn't it?


Now on with my true alien abduction story! With everything recreated by Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human!) with his awesomely perfect photographic memory! Yes, this is what REALLY happened! *wink*

In case you missed some earlier acts due to hanging out in the lobby chatting up the sheila or bloke behind the popcorn counter or perhaps toking up in the bathroom, here's a quickie recap!

Note: some of my astute readers may recognize the following paragraph verbatim from Act XII but I don't mind plagiarizing myself!

Yes, it's time for another installment in the completely, 100% true story of my alien abduction. Don't you remember? This was after I died after cutting myself shaving with a meat cleaver in the pool and was then brought back to an undead, brain-craving, zombie state from a lightning strike and then was transported up to the A.S.S. (Alien Space Ship) cus I struck the pyramid on top of my roof with my lightning-charged sledgehammer and was then transformed into an undead, brain-eating, hulking beast with a club roaming the cave-like corridors of the A.S.S. that had the rego number of C4P-PFP2012.

Whew! And just in case any of you need sausage lynx to the previous acts...

Prelude to Alien Abduction. Nothing to do with aliens though. Just me being stupid.

Alien Abduction Act I. Where it all begins. Plus some pretty hot pics of me and Wifey-Poo!

Act II. This is where I use a meat cleaver to shave with whilst in the pool!

Act III. Buried at sea. And sushi too!

Act IV. Lighting storm reanimates my corpse!

Act V. My zombie self begins to calm down.

Act VI. A sledge-hammer wielding zombie is great to have in the kitchen!

Act VII. Blasting off Earth and towards the A.S.S. !!!

Act VIII. Photographic evidence of the A.S.S. from a passing Chinese spy satellite.

Act IXa. Promotional material for the real Act IX.

Act IX. Alien ship identified!

Act X. My arrival aboard the A.S.S.

Act XI. Very tricky aliens!

Act XII. We finally meet the aliens!!!!!!!!!!!

Act XIII. Charging towards the control room!

Now for a very brief picture recap! After which you'll get to see (and read) Act XV!

And here are some of those great, full-sized NON-PHOTOSHOPPED pics!

This one is from the passing, cloaked, Chinese spy satellite.

into orbit

And here's one the Russians took from the ISS!
chinese spy satellite photo

This is the one where I distinctly remember seeing the rego number on the A.S.S.
close approach

And remember, the Chinese spy satellite got a pic of the TOP of the A.S.S. too, also.

You may remember that after I materialized inside the A.S.S the aliens then activated some sort of hologramaphic device that changed the corridors to caves. I distinctly remember charging through the caves and encountering this sign:

I quickly hung a left (me being rather left-leaning) and as I charged down the cavern the rock walls changed back into the actual, real corridors of the A.S.S. However, I was still my lightning-charged, zombie-ized, club-wielding, brain-eating undead self. Fortunately, my body had retained it's original, studly self!

Now begins Act XV of my TRUE Alien Abduction!

Whilst charging down the corridor onboard the A.S.S. in search of alien brains to eat as I was still in my zombie state, I passed through several doors that opened and closed automatically as I raced towards what I hoped was the control room of the A.S.S. so that I could eat some tasty alien brains and just hopefully find an escape pod to get back to Oz and perchance find a way to get back to what passes for normal for me.

*Isn't that an awesomely great sentence from Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human!) that I typed all by me oneses and Wifey-Poo (Most Wonderful Woman In The Entire World) tells me is actually grammatically correct?*

Just as I was beginning to think the A.S.S. with the rego number C4P-PFP2012 (remember kiddies, Gene Roddenberry proved that all space ships have rego #'s painted on the outside in English!) was totally deserted, I arrived at a pair of doors that hopefully led to the control and some tasty alien brains... and the door was GUARDED!

By aliens!

Imagine my surprise as my zombie self became the first Earthling to come face to face with REAL aliens!









Yeah, I'm quite sure I looked EXACTLY like that!

And what did I see in front of me?

Glad you asked mates!

And now we finally get to see what the alien guards who are guarding the door which may or may not be an entrance to the control room look like!

Are you ready?

Are you sure?


As you can tell, this is about to get... shall we say... Interesting?

Stay tuned for Act XVI as more silliness comes your way from the merry old land of Oz!

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