Monday, June 14, 2010

Alien Abduction Act XII --At last we meet them!

And just when you thought it was safe to go back into outer space! Bwuhahahhahahhahah!

Yes, it's time for another installment in the completely, 100% true story of my alien abduction. Don't you remember? This was after I died after cutting myself shaving with a meat cleaver in the pool and was then brought back to an undead, brain-craving, zombie state from a lightning strike and then was transported up to the A.S.S. (Alien Space Ship) cus I struck the pyramid on top of my roof with my lightning-charged sledgehammer and was then transformed into an undead, brain-eating, hulking beast with a club roaming the cave-like corridors of the A.S.S. that had the rego number of C4P-PFP2012.

Does that ring any bells?

Perhaps this handy list of links will refresh your mammaries --oops, memories!

Prelude

Act I

Act II

Act III

Act IV

Act V

Act VI

Act VII

Act VIII

Act IX -preview

Act IX

Act X

Act XI

Everyone caught up now? No? Seriously, if you haven't read those posts about this entirely true episode in my life then when you read Act XII you'll be even more confused than you are now.

So just, at least, go back and skim them posts, eh? I'll wait, no worries.

Aaaaaaannnnnd for those of you who didn't read those posts, how's abouts a quickie photo recap...



Here's me dead in the pool
FaceDownInTheWater-Bleeding-to-Death


Then I come back to life in my zombie, lightning-charged state:
zombie dave 01


Contacting the A.S.S.
smashing


Here I am blasting into orbit
into orbit


A Chinese spy satellite caught this pic from afar
chinese spy satellite photo


See, it really is the name of their ship!
approaching


I got a good look at the rego number:C4P-PFP2012!
close approach


And here I am on board the alien ship!
alienized
This was, of course, after they had activated some sort of holographic illusion thingy to make me think I was underground! For some reason they kept my body just as it normally is...



Ok! Is everyone "up to speed" with the story so far? I'm an undead, brain-eating, HUGE zombie on board the A.S.S. (rego # C4P-PFP2012) and I'm just about to step out of the holographic cave and into a holographic cave corridor in an attempt to somehow find my way back to South Oz, become NOT undead anymore, and hopefully eat a few alien brains along the way!

Whew! I need to give my fingers a rest... They are SSSSSSSSS-MOKIN'!

Alien Abduction Act XII

It was at this point I decided to leave the "cave" I was in and try to find either the control room or the engine room! And I felt sure I was to meet up with some aliens along the way and eat their brains!

I

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c
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leaving cave
Grrrrrrr! Where's the alien brains? I's feelin' HUNGRY! Feed me Seymour, feed me!



I raced down the corridor, hair flying in all directions!
me running



As I rounded a corner...
rounding corner


... I skidded to a screeching halt in front of this signpost!
signpost



To say I was shocked would certainly be the understatement of the millennium!
surprised
AAAAAAAAAIIIIIII-EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!



I quite obviously realised that one way led to the control room, and the other led to the engine room. But which? And why the code and the weird lettering?

As I pondered which way to go, I heard a faint whirring of motors. Like the ones that control a hidden camera!

I. Was. Being. Watched!

But by whom?

And why?

And when was I gonna get to eat the alien brains?

And just WHAT is controlling this whole illusion that makes me see things that aren't there?

And why the cave system? Do they think I'm a mushroom and want to keep me in the dark and feed me b*llsh*t all day?

Who.

Could.

It.

Be?

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evil sarah palin
Eeeeeeee, hee-hee-hee! I'll get you, my pretty. And your little bloggie too, also! Hee-hee-hee-heeeee!



Stay tuned folks, it just gets better and better!

8 comments:

scienceguy288 said...

Too bad for you Socceroos. 4-0 to Germany. Hope you can rebound in the rest of the group.

Karl said...

Since when did the little plastic messed-up-hair troll dolls start using steroids? And why are you one of them? ew.

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

ScienceBloke: Yeah, they really stunk up the joint. I don't see the Aussies getting out of the pools.

Karl: Obviously, you haven't been keeping up with the true story of my alien abduction, have you? Just start with the prelude and go from there and all will be explained.

Karl said...

Oh, please - I knew you'd been abducted before you left here... Obsessing with green shag carpet in your living room, running everywhere at all hours, taking vegetables to your room for 'research', drinking from aluminum containers to get a stockpile of sheet metal, mumbling about weird lights in the Great Hall...

The hammer thing is new, though...

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

Karl: And you forgot to mention just how exactly you know that I sleep in the nude!

Karl said...

Wanna read that again, Dave? I never mentioned nude... But now that YOU mention it - ew - now I need mind bleach...

Fizzgig said...

someones gotta ask, is that the penis, or a penis cover?

inquiring minds...

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

Karl: Lather, rinse, repeat! Here's what I mean: http://alaskandavedownunder.blogspot.com/2009/02/veni-vidi-lavi.html

Fizzgig: It's actually a shield! But if you're good with DAZ you can get anything to fit (and lock to) anything. I did do a lot of parameter work on the shield to get it to look right. Purposefully left off anything to hold it up, cus if the 3d bimbos get to have "clothes" (and I use that term loosely) that would not stay on in RL, then I certainly can too!
Do you like the Sarah Palin glasses on the dragon?