Alien Abduction Act XII --At last we meet them!

And just when you thought it was safe to go back into outer space! Bwuhahahhahahhahah!

Yes, it's time for another installment in the completely, 100% true story of my alien abduction. Don't you remember? This was after I died after cutting myself shaving with a meat cleaver in the pool and was then brought back to an undead, brain-craving, zombie state from a lightning strike and then was transported up to the A.S.S. (Alien Space Ship) cus I struck the pyramid on top of my roof with my lightning-charged sledgehammer and was then transformed into an undead, brain-eating, hulking beast with a club roaming the cave-like corridors of the A.S.S. that had the rego number of C4P-PFP2012.

Does that ring any bells?

Perhaps this handy list of links will refresh your mammaries --oops, memories!

Prelude

Act I

Act II

Act III

Act IV

Act V

Act VI

Act VII

Act VIII

Act IX -preview

Act IX

Act X

Act XI

Everyone caught up now? No? Seriously, if you haven't read those posts about this entirely true episode in my life then when you read Act XII you'll be even more confused than you are now.

So just, at least, go back and skim them posts, eh? I'll wait, no worries.

Aaaaaaannnnnd for those of you who didn't read those posts, how's abouts a quickie photo recap...



Here's me dead in the pool



Then I come back to life in my zombie, lightning-charged state:



Contacting the A.S.S.



Here I am blasting into orbit



A Chinese spy satellite caught this pic from afar



See, it really is the name of their ship!



I got a good look at the rego number:C4P-PFP2012!



And here I am on board the alien ship!

This was, of course, after they had activated some sort of holographic illusion thingy to make me think I was underground! For some reason they kept my body just as it normally is...



Ok! Is everyone "up to speed" with the story so far? I'm an undead, brain-eating, HUGE zombie on board the A.S.S. (rego # C4P-PFP2012) and I'm just about to step out of the holographic cave and into a holographic cave corridor in an attempt to somehow find my way back to South Oz, become NOT undead anymore, and hopefully eat a few alien brains along the way!

Whew! I need to give my fingers a rest... They are SSSSSSSSS-MOKIN'!

Alien Abduction Act XII

It was at this point I decided to leave the "cave" I was in and try to find either the control room or the engine room! And I felt sure I was to meet up with some aliens along the way and eat their brains!

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Grrrrrrr! Where's the alien brains? I's feelin' HUNGRY! Feed me Seymour, feed me!



I raced down the corridor, hair flying in all directions!




As I rounded a corner...



... I skidded to a screeching halt in front of this signpost!




To say I was shocked would certainly be the understatement of the millennium!

AAAAAAAAAIIIIIII-EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!



I quite obviously realised that one way led to the control room, and the other led to the engine room. But which? And why the code and the weird lettering?

As I pondered which way to go, I heard a faint whirring of motors. Like the ones that control a hidden camera!

I. Was. Being. Watched!

But by whom?

And why?

And when was I gonna get to eat the alien brains?

And just WHAT is controlling this whole illusion that makes me see things that aren't there?

And why the cave system? Do they think I'm a mushroom and want to keep me in the dark and feed me b*llsh*t all day?

Who.

Could.

It.

Be?

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Eeeeeeee, hee-hee-hee! I'll get you, my pretty. And your little bloggie too, also! Hee-hee-hee-heeeee!



Stay tuned folks, it just gets better and better!