Fine then, BE that way!

And see if I care!

Harumph

Obviously my lame-assed attempt at audience participation udderly phailed.

Well, I've now got a pic that will pretty much guarantee comments! Would you like to see it? Of course you would:



Mmmmmmm, that makes me hungry mates! In fact, I may even may roo burgers today.

And no, roo pies are NOT like cow pies! But if you are wondering what that "type" of roo pie looks like... think moose nuggets! However, Aussies aren't crass enough to varnish em and sell em to tourists like Alaskans do! But you can get small purses that at one point in time housed a male roo's testicles.

Yes ladies, you CAN literally carry around the privates of a male! I'll bet Alaska's Worst Governor Ever would like one to keep Toady's junk in.


Next picture up is a sneak peek at a 3d seen (whoopsie, "scene"; darned tiepoes!) I'm working on. Keep in mind that every single bit of this picture is FAKE. The rocky desert landscape is FAKE. The crashed ship is FAKE (but have a squizz at the cockpit wreckage, it's great!). The steam plume from the engines is FAKE. The ship circling around is FAKE. The crappy looking engine tail glow (still working on that!) is FAKE. The clouds are FAKE.



Everything in the photo is FAKE! Which is exactly like the persona of The Creature From Lake Lucille, FAKE!


Oh, wait a sec mates! You probably can't make out the ultra cool detailing from that little pic.

Here's a much more bigger and much more better one!



Thoughts? Ideas? Snarky remarks?

Isn't Someone Going Help That Poor Man?

"Hush Harriet, that's a sure way to get him killed!"

I'm sure that all my regular readers will know exactly what movie those two lines are from and what situation it pertains to, also.

But when I hear those lines I think of something, shall we say... Different!

Perhaps maybe something like this picture...







Whoops, looks like someone doesn't wear her wig at home!

And feel to click on the pic to bring it up fullsize!

A Public Service Announcement from Yours Truly!

Y'all knows that UV is bad fer ya, right? That'd be the UV radiation you get from sitting out in the sun too long, BTW. Now remember that you do want to get out in the sun regularly as you need your vitamin D, but over-exposure can be, well, bad.

Not only do ya run the risk of skin cancer, but it can make your skin look yonks (YONKS I tells ya!) older than what it really is.

Butt don't worry cuz if you're stupid enough you don't even knead to be over-exposed to the sun to get those wonderful skin problems! Tanning beds mate, tanning beds.

Hocked by hucksters to the most vain segment of society, these "beds" just bathe you in nasty UV radiation. And do you think ANYONE who uses them puts on sunblock, shirt, and a hat? What a silly question!

And there is now fotogaffic evidence of just what can happen to the skin of a "person" if she uses a tanning bed for a decade or two, consumes diet pills and Red Bull routinely and then shows up at a State Fair where anyone can see her!

Let's face it, no amount a makeup can hide THIS!





And if that "person" were to perhaps continue on this path to skin destruction, it certainly won't be long before a picture like this is taken of her:






Fortunately, I don't have any of those skin problems as a very recent photo of Yours Truly has surfaced like putrid gas rising through swamp waters...






Meanwhile, somewhere on the Fleurieu Peninsula, a marsupial contemplates life...

The Hatchening of Sarah Palin

Didja ever wonder where Sarah Palin came from? Was she hatched from an egg or born live? Or did she spring out of pixels, processors, and programs in a 'puter way back when?

Hmmmmmm. Well, no matter as I happen to have a picture of Sarah Palin hatching from an egg. So now you know: She hatched from an egg. Proof:



Please click to embiggen the picture, you'll be happy!

But how did this start? It first started with me playing around in Bryce 7 Pro. I was learning the terrain sculpting tools and came up with the main "egg" and also the "top" of the "egg" overturned to the side. The material used is actually a sea ice material with some coloration changes to make it look cracky.

After that I went over to DAZ and made a cool looking Ice Dragon whilst applying various add-ons, textures, bump maps, etc to get what I wanted. I also went WAAAAY overboard on the bump mapping of the skin, horns, teeth, etc as I knew the dragon would be used in a long shot in Bryce and that Bryce has a tendency to "soften" the DAZ textures. I had to forgo the glasses as she didn't start wearing them till she was all grown up. Some would argue that she still hasn't grown up.

Here is a close up of the dragon in DAZ. Compare it to the dragon in the finished picture and you'll see why I had the bump mapping in DAZ turned up to "bloody-well high, mate!" as I knew it would soften with distance in Bryce. As always, please click to embiggen.





How's abouts them blueish sparkley things around her body, wings, egg interior and egg top? They were easy. Each one is actually a squashed sphere with a texture applied. No lights were needed and it makes for a very cool effect.

I'm going to show you a screen capture of the Bryce workspace showing the meshes for everything. You'll note that there is a squashed sphere on each wing, one large squashed sphere in the middle of the egg, and a smaller one of the egg top that's been tossed aside. Click to embiggen, of course.



The blobs on the far left and the far right are the other two eggs in the picture. I did those as object instead of terrains. Since they aren't hatched there was no reason to sculpt them, right? You may have also noticed the two yellow lights in the middle. The lower one lights up the egg interior along with the dragon body, and the other lights up the head from below. The light falloff is logarithmic so it's not "fakey" bright and the top one has a very low intensity as I only wanted it on her head. The size of the light mesh has NOTHING to do with the light itself, it just makes it easier to find in the jumble of meshes.

We'll now move to a left side view. You'll see just how far back the unhatched eggs are and you may also make note of the 2 light positions to illuminate the egg interior and the dragon properly. Make the picture larger with a click.



Notice the top red line that is just below the dragon? That's a layer of thin clouds. Go look at the very first picture and you'll notice some thin clouds just above the fog. Now you know what the red line is. It's a flat plane with a thin cloudscape applied to it. Oh, the low fog is an atmospheric effect so there's no mesh to see for it.

The top view is interesting as you'll see two things. The unhatched eggs aren't in the shot cus they are soooooooo far back. I made them huge and placed them waaaay back for two reasons. One is that the haze atmospherics will be more visible and the other is so the "eggy" textures look right. Small sized ones placed just behind the main egg DO NOT give the illusion of depth. Trust me, I tried.

The other thing to notice is that the terrain texture appears flat from above since you are viewing the terrain as a mesh. Valuable little tidbit to keep in mind, that is. Don't forget to click the pic.





I'm going to give you a cool shot of the back of the Ice Dragon rendered in DAZ. Why? Because I think the tiger strips look sooooooo cool! I think it looks neat at full size. Do I need to tell you how to bring the pitcher up to full size? No, didn't think so.





The last bit of nuts n blots for you: I made the scene on my old, decrepit P4 with 2 gigs of ram and a crappy video card. It was rendered on a modern quad core with 4 gigs built in ram, 4 gigs external ram, and a 1 gig video card. It still took 7 hours to render! Why? The sea ice texture used for the eggs is very complex (so's the blue sparkley stuff) and we cranked the rendering options sky high. However, if I had it set for total, top-of-the-line rendering it would have taken DAYS on the quad core. Just another example of software ALWAYS being light-years ahead of hardware. Well, at least affordable hardware.

Bye for now, time to go make some planets.

Fire Dragon Fight

So, like, you know, here's the thingy I've been working on.

3d thingy. Get your minds out of the gutter you perverts! 'Sides, you're blocking my view from the sewer.

The 3 critters were all done in DAZ and everything else done in Bryce 7 Pro.

Whatcha think?




Oh wait, here's a larger version, 1680 by 1050.





Getting Bristol to wrap around momma's tail took a while. There are over 65 individual segments to bend, twist, and wrap.

I think this captures the spirit of Lake Lucille quite well. Momma Sarah showing young Bristol just how to properly bully someone. What do you think?

Oh, here's another one you can click on to embiggen too.





Not including the time it took to learn Bryce and to figure out how lights work in Daz, the whole thing took a total of about 30 hours spread over a few days. 12 of that was rendering time!

**************************

Looks like spring may have actually arrived in South Oz! My peas now have 3 pods, many many more on the way, and I need to put more wiring up for the snow peas to climb. Just planted seeds for tomatillas and red capsicums (red bell peppers). Just about time to hit the garden centre at Bunnings and get tomato seedlings. My chillis are doing fine as they are perennial if you have the right variety, climate, and gardening skillz.

Strawberries, cucumbers, and basil are all on the list for planting this year. No need for rosemary as there is a monster rosemary bush in the yard. Also wild onions, chives, oregano, and plenty of sow thistle and dandelion leaves.

And a pool. Did I mention the pool? Maybe this will remind you:

Video of wild koala climbing tree

Shall we just cut to the chase and show you the vid? Of course. This bloke was around 70 to 80 feet up, handheld camera on full zoom.





Hey look! Mean ole Sarah Palin is poking her beady little head around Todd's butt to glare at the neighbors!




Just so you don't think I'm neglecting my new toys (ooooh baby!), I figure I'd better give you a picture of a work in progress in Bryce 7 Pro. I'm sure that all of smart readers will instantly be able to figure out what it is.




Now if you'll excuse me, I need to figure out what I'm going to make for dinner tonight...

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Meet the new arrival to the household!

Yes, you read that right! There is a new arrival in the house. Her momma was born here too! Yup, that's us; critters fornicating and birthing right in the house.

And the best part is I don't have to feed it.

Nor walk it.

Nor listen to it yowl at 5 am demanding fish and then going out.

It's quiet.

Keeps the mossies out too.


Isn't it juuuuuust soooooo cute?

Unlike this ugly bugga...






And here's Sarah Palin glaring at Tawd!

Hey! Looks at MY boobs, not hers!

Sarah Palin Plotting The Demise of Anonymous Bloggers!

And oh boy we had all better watch out! The Mean Girl Sarah Palin is definitely on a roll and has her groove back! I also have a candid picture of her plotting just how she'll get us and take over the world!

See, look!


If that's not an face hatching evil plots then I don't know what it is!

Just one glance in my direction of that mean girl glare of hers totally shocked me!





That evening I decided to channel my "inner" Sarah Palin and cook up some critters:




Mmmmmmm, soup stock in the making! I wonder if $arah Palin knows this recipe?




I then found peace and solitude with my chilli plants...




until I noticed one of her spies recording my every move!




Aiiiiiiiigh! Run away! Run VERY FAR AWAY!


*For you newbies here, I named one of the female galahs that hangs around in the backyard Sarah Palin. Not sure where I got the name from, but it sure did make for some interesting visitors to this blog in late 2008.*

Nesting Rainbow Lorikeets

Wifey-Poo and I were hiding in the woods yesterday. Yes, I know, I still need to explain where the saying of "gone to hide in woods" comes from regarding WP and YT. But knot today.

Did you know that rainbow lorikeets (and pretty much all other parrots down here) nest in the hollows of various gum trees? Now you know! You're welcome.

Here's what a typical lorikeet lair can look like:


You see those clawmarks around the knothole? Perhaps you are thinking those are made by the parrots... You'd be wrong! Those are, of course, the claw marks of baby bunyips from when they were raiding the nest! It's true, I swear!

And for those of you perverts who think the knothole and it's surrounds look like something you'd see on THOSE sites. I have one word for you: PERVERT! And, uh, so like, when you gonna visit?

Back to the lorikeets. Here's one of them poking it's head out. I couldn't tell whether it was a bloke or a sheila from this distance.









Sooooooo cute!

In fact, I thought it was so cute that I went looking in some other tree cracks (shut up!) to see what kind of critters were in some of the larger cracks. It was all well and good until I stuck my head in one that had a juvenile bunyip in it! It grabbed my beard and tried to pull me in!



Fortunately my good friend Tom Bombadil was nearby and rescued me from the critters vile clutches!



Really! It's true! Would I lie to you? Well, only if I was paid what some former gov of Alaska who aborted her term partway through was paid... Like $12,000,000 in 8 short months! In that case I'd be more than happy to lie to you!

I feel like dying...

Don't bother calling the ambulance, just go straight for the undertaker.

Ugh.

Double ugh.

Butt I have knot let my loyal reeders down. No sirree! I've been working on the alien spaceship in between naps and delusionally, hallucinatory fits of semi-consciousnessitude.

And the A.S.S. (alien space ship) is looking great! Yes, even in my undead zombie state I still recalled what the ship that abducted me looked like before I ate all their brains.

If you are either knew two this blog ore are really confused, then just start here for the backstory:

Prelude
Act I
Act II
First Intermission
Act III
Act IV
Act V
Second Intermission
Act VI
Act VII

I'm still putting on the finishing touches of the ship but I felt like posting SOMETHING! Especially since know won has guessed which critter left the "sine" nor what the critter was eating. No, I'm not going to repost the pictures of the seed-laced critter crap, just look through the last few posts to find out what the are.

The critter: An emu! This should have been obvious since I've already posted pics of emu crap and identified it for you (hint, it's all about the bouquet, not the flavour).

It was eating: Rose-hips and brambleberries! Again, this would have been obvious if any of you were following my tweets about Wifey-Poo and I going out brambling and rose-hipping.

Really now, doesn't this just scream emu crap with organically processed rose-hips and brambles?





Moving on to more pleasant birdies...

I have a semi-decent picture of an Australian Superb Fairy Wren. These little buggas are small, flighty, and fast. The trick to getting a good picture is to find an area where you hope one of them may come along and then wait quietly. The waiting part can take a wee while but just think of it as kinda like communing with nature...




Quick! Is it a male or a female?

Did you know that the average mass of an adult fairy wren is 9 grams? Yep, pretty light. For those of you still living in the dark ages of measurement (metric is base TEN! Like the number of digits on your hands! Very handy!) and have no idea just how "heavy" 9 grams is, here's what you due.

Go to the kitchen. Put a bit of tap water into a glass. Go to the drawer with your wife's measuring spoons and grab a 1 teaspoon spoon. It'll probably be marked with something like "1 tsp". Now, cup one of your palms (upwards!) and carefully measure and pour 2 tsp of the tap water into your palm. Did you notice the HUGE mass of water in your hand? Well, a fairy wren is less than that by around 11%.

Oh, if you are in Fairbanks and live near the airport or along Chena Pump Road or Rosie Creek road then you only want 1 tsp of water as the water out there is so hard and so full of iron the all the faucets point northwards --at least that's what I've heard.

*********************************************************************

How do I feel today? I feel like I've been shot at and missed, but shit at and hit. Yes, I feel like shit.

Massive sinus, throat and ear infection on left side. And there's a lot of puffiness under my left eye so it looks like I've been in a punchup. I've been od-ing on echinacia, rosehip, vitamin C, and colloidal silver. I'm surprised I haven't turned blue with orange highlights...

And when I haven't been working my fingers to the bone while working on my A.S.S. --alien space ship-- for all of you, I have been doing this:




Almost forgot! I was tagged last post! So hear is the Second Thing About Me That You Won't Find Out About By Reading This Blog...

Ready?

And this is the TRUTH!

Ahem...

I know which direction the toilets in Australia flush in relation to those in the US! And I dare any of you sciencey types in the US to come up with the REAL answer! Bwuuu-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa!

And lastly, I have some pictures of a particular female that likes to hang around the backyard. Yes, Sarah Palin is back down unda!

I have two (count em) pictures of her! Stark naked Sarah Palin! In the first one she flaunts her feminine wares by exposing her Hairy Sarah Palin Armpit! And in the second one Sarah Palin Wanks My Woody!

Oooooo..... This should make for some interesting searches tonight...

Firstly, Sarah Palin showing her hairy armpits!




And here's Sarah Palin Wanking My Woody!

Oh baby, what sharp claws you have!

Alien Abduction Act V The Taming of The Shrewd!

I know, I know. I can hear you all starting to snore! Don't worry, I'll be getting up to the alien spaceship soon and then eating alien brains --remember, I'm still an undead, lightning-zapped, crazed, sledgehammer-wielding zombie at this point in the story.

I swear it's true. *wink*

Wifey-Poo had decided that I may be of some help around the house now that I was a zombie and didn't have much of a will of my own. She first, however, had to calm me down a bit...

***********breaker, breaker!!!!**************

3 of you are trying to find the koala from last post (probably only cuz I'm giving away ten dollars) and so far you are all way off. So here's a hint: Try looking for THIS bloke!




I'm also going to let you know that at the end of this post I have an actual picture of Sarah Palin flaunting her wares to distract everyone around so they won't notice her crapping on others! Don't scroll down and cheat!

***********back to the story****************

At first wifey-poo was a little nervous about getting me calmed down as all I was doing was standing out in the backyard yelling and waving my trusty sledgehammer around. And the residual lightning that had animated my drowned corpse was still coursing through both me and the sledgehammer.

See what I mean:






Not exactly a sight WP wanted to wake up to each morning...




Fortunately it was only my shirt being ripped to shreds...




Eventually I calmed down when Wifey-Poo assured me that since there are so many birds around I'll have no problem finding plenty of brains to feed upon --this explains why I'm a birdbrain now, eh?

So here I am all mellowed out and ready to help around the house!




Coming up next: Zombie dave helps around the house! With a sledge-hammer.

**************************************************************************

We're still in our hot summer months down here. Today wasn't too bad, 101 F in the shade and 127 F in the sun. Pool water was at 86 F so after watching the 'Aints win the Super Bowl I relaxed in the pool.

But you don't get a picture of that. Mainly cuz I wasn't doing anything silly or stupid in the pool so I figured y'all wouldn't be interested. BTW, how's winter going for everyone up in that other hemisphere?

Getting a lot of tomatoes. Last count was 1,134 harvested! Here's a pic of bunch of nice, juicy, creamy, hot-off-the-vine, yellow tomatoes.

Next year we're putting in 2 or 3 yellow 'mata plants!


Oi mate! If you take this picture I'm gonna fly over there, claw your eyes out and shove that camera somewhere BAD!

Hmmmmm, guess that explains why I can't see today and am walking funny...

And now... the picture you've all really been waiting for: An actual photograph taken by Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human) of Sarah Palin flaunting herself shamelessly in front of her admirers in the hopes that none of them notice her crapping on anyone she doesn't like!

Ready?

Of

course

you

are.



I guess that little sparrow down below on the bricks didn't kiss her ass enough!

More Pretty Sarah Palin Pics

I figure since it's been a while since I've put up any cool Aussie bird pics that some of you may knot know what I see each morning when I get up to go have a quick dip in the pool.

Doesn't the facial expression of the galahs just sorta, kinda, MAYBE remind you of some particular Wasilla resident and ex-guv of Alaska?

First, here she is trying to hide from the media:

Ummmm, $arah, you aren't hiding very well.



And then she fixes her beady little eyes upon a certain youth of her dotter's --that's right, two t's!-- (quick, in what movie did Lee Marvin utter that line?) acquaintance:

Grrrrrrr!



Just a reminder, I've named one of the galahs that sometimes come by the backyard Sarah Palin.

And another reminder, not only is galah the type of parrot but it is also Aussie slang for a nong, meaning twit or idiot.