Saturday, January 16, 2010

Prelude To An Alien Abduction! *UPDATED*

Has anyone noticed I haven't posted for a while? And I haven't made snarky comments on blogs I peruse?

Why?

Because I was recently abducted by aliens! That's why! Heck if you'd read the title of the blog post you'd have known that little fact. Unlike most fabricated stories of alien abduction, mine is different.

How different, you ask?

Well, it started off when I died --this was before the abduction. And I HAVE PROOF! In picture form! And no, I didn't photoshop none of the pics!

Oops, getting ahead of myself again. You'll just have to wait as the entire story unfolds over several posts. I'll just bet that the Weekly World News will pay seriously big $$$$$$ for this story!

It all started in November with this picture:
what is dave doing


And I asked you all to try to figure out just what the heck was going on. Obviously, your imagination is not anywhere near mine as none of the guesses were anywhere close to being on target.

The whole story involves Yours Truly (that'd be me, don't swoon ladies I'm human), my hat, a mirror, a sledgehammer, two pool floatation devices, a meat cleaver, a shampoo bottle, two rolls of duct tape, flowers, and my own homebrewed beer. Lots of beer.

Stay tuned for the next part of dave's alien abduction coming soon to a blog near YOU!

*******************************

Next topic: A conversation with Wifey-Poo.

The scene: WP is in the kitchen making a cuppa, YT walks in...

YT: Hi honey. *much kissing and smooching betwixt WP and YT*

WP: Hello dear.

YT reaches for a big ole kitchen knife.

WP: Ummmmmmm...

YT reaches for the big ole kitchen knife sharpener.

WP: Ummmm, was it something I said?

YT: I thought I'd spice things up!

WP: Huh??!!!?!??

YT: Oh you know, a dull knife is just so boring.

WP: That's bad, really bad. *that's bad, really bad*



********************************

Next topic; whereupon I rescue a cute, fuzzy critter that fell into the pool!

This morning as I was watering the tomato plants I noticed something floundering around in the pool. The poor thing looked half-drowned and had managed to somehow crawl upon the floating board we keep in the pool for serving drinks. It looked so tired and I knew right away there was no way the poor thing could fly away. I certainly didn't want to be responsible for the drowning of a cute, fuzzy critter so I rescued it and carefully returned it to it's natural habitat.

But not before I took pictures to share my good deed with my loyal readers --that'd be you, BTW.

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big spider 01


big spider 02


big spider 03



************UPDATE!!!!!***************

I'm posting this picture because some unnamed person in Squarebanks wanted to know what the FRONT of those type of spiders looks like... So blame her, not me.


WARNING! Very scary picture below... the stuff of nightmares.
















You've been duly warned...







spider closeup

12 comments:

Cathy said...

Adiii...that's just nasty!

dragonfly said...

You have some large and scary spiders down there *shudder* How big is that thing?

Need a close-up of his front (?) end next time. He's very creepy but cool looking, kinda prehistoric-y. And I looked at this before bed, thanks for the upcoming nightmare!

Waiting on next installment...

Titanium said...

You were sorely missed! Those aliens are freakin' scary...

So glad you're back... or are you? Dave, is that youuuuuu???

OH goddddd!! AHHHHHHHHHH!

dragonfly said...

Oh THAT guy- he looks different from the back. Still scary, though!

scienceguy288 said...

Welcome back! You get no respect! Those firemen saving cats in trees have it easy. You have to save spiders!

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

Cathy: Yeah they may be nasty, but they eat mossies, roaches, and anything else they can find.

Dragonflying: How big is it? Large enough to spread across the palm of my hand.
Your nightmares are nothing compared to mine...

Titanium: Who are you and what have you done with Agent 22?

Dragon-still-flying: Ok, you got me. They are both the same species of huntsman but the front pic is the shot of a dead one from a few months ago. Everytime I tried to get a supermacro closeup of the live huntsman spider on the board s/he ran and hid. Wusses, they is. Wusses I tells ya!

Sciencebloke: I've saved baby lizards, adult blue-tongue lizards, a puppy, butterflies, numerous bees, native wasps, but this is the first and LAST huntsman spider I rescue from the pool!!!!!!!!!!! Well, no... I'd do it again in a heartbeat. And let me tell ya, me ole heart was really beating!

Fizzgig said...

ummmmm...your posting these things, is screwing up my perfect image and dream to win the lottery and buy an uncharted australian island and live there in peace and harmony with my cats.

those spiders would eat my little fluffernutters!

In my world, those dont exist. so....quit scaring me!

jojo roxx said...

OMG those are some scary looking spidars!!

girl du jour said...

Not scary. What's scary is Scarah Palin trying to overthrow Roe V. Wade:

http://www.facebook.com/search/?ref=search&q=sarah%20palin&init=quick#/notes/sarah-palin/marching-for-a-beautiful-life/259917918434

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

Fizzygig: There aren't that bad, really! Hmmmm, your own tropical island... NICE.

Jojo: The first time you see a huntsman it's gives you quite a shot of adrenaline. Especially is you are driving at the time and the damn thing comes out from behind the drivers side visor!

girl du jour: She herself isn't scary, it's the people who believe what she says that scares me.

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