Saturday, December 27, 2008

Ho, Ho, Ho!

And a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!!

Hey, ain't this holiday season cool? I mean everyone is posting so much more than the last few years. I guess I'll follow suit...

Firstly, I need to let you know that I am no longer counting the tomatoes on the vines. Why, you ask? Well, cus the plants are in the direct sun and standing out there on the hot bricks while counting tomatoes seriously encroaches into my pool time... harumph! So we'll just go with the number harvested... 201. Yes, less than halfway through the season and we've plucked 201 juicy, sun-hot, ripe, delicious tomatoes off the plants.

I won't bore you with the details of how juicy and tasty they are cus I know you'd just get upset.

It's been rather chilly here lately. Why just an hour ago I looked at the shade temp and it was 93 F. The sun temp was 118 F. I gots to ask ya: Just WHERE did summer go?

Wifey-Poo and I persevered somehow and had our traditional walk along the beach on Christmas morning. Snowpants, parkas, and bunny boots were needed... but we managed. Pics will be showing up soon cus there were some crazy aussies setting up pavilions and barbecues on the beach at 8 am. Crazy bastards!

Here's a pic of a dog that doesn't mind chasing the seagulls through the frozen ocean water:
happy dog 01

I've got some pics of some Aussie birds for those of you who only visit for that, so here you are. Please note the bright blue sky.

For this first one, I had prefocused about 4 inches in front of the branches. I was hoping to catch her just before landing. Well, as you can see, the shutter was late (not my fault!!!!!). But just look at the focus on that left wing!
cockatoo in treetop

Quick! Make a wish!
Go on and try! I dare ya!

There's this odd growth out of the timber of the pool shade...
bird growth

cool cockatoo
Clear the runway! I gots me no brakes!

We will now switch gears --no clutching needed. So if you are here just to see the purdy burdies, then it's time for you to leave... But if you'd like to see some pool pictures, then please continue.

It has come to my attention that several blokes and blokettes Way Up North (thank you Johnny Horton) don't think I spend enough time in the pool. This is because they think I am pale, pasty, and alltogether way too ugly to be living in a sunny, year-round summer paradise.

These next few pics are just for those folks.

I took this shot while laying in the 85 F degree water. This is the view of one of the fences where the flowering vines flower year round.

This next one is the same view, but I'm in the shot. Please notice the beer is on my chest cus it was getting too warm in the dual armchair beer holders on the pool lounger.

I will let you make up your own caption for this one.

Here's lookin' at you, Ish!

Is that barbecue heated up yet? I'd really like to grill the steaks soon...

The hat helps keep the laminar water flow around my back from becoming turbulent:


Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Holiday Food Orgy Down Under Has Commenced!

I hope you all don't mind *burp* if I don't post daily bird pics for the next *burp* two weeks... I'm, ah, busy cooking *burp* for the clan and eating lots *belch*.

If you go back to my 2008 Holiday Feast list, you'll see what this is all about. Please note, some items have been removed and others added. Just cus.

It actually started yesterday, but that was just a bunch of baking to be eaten over the next few days. The orgy really started today at lunch. I made a massive sushi platter, a kilo of steamed mussels (soaked in chardonnay and some secret seasonings), fresh sun-hot juicy ripe tomatoes, and tempura battered crab meat. Oh, chocolate covered almonds, and nectarines for dessert. A bottle of chardonnay decanted from a cheap box rounded out the meal.

Tonight is a beef roast, mashed spuds, steamed broccoli and loads of gravy. Probably a fruitcake for dessert (no, I'm not being eaten). Tomorrow morning will start out with me making chocolate covered strawberries and decorated ginger bread to have with the champagne while we open all the loot. This will, of course, be after WP have had our annual Christmas morning stroll on the beach.

Almost forgot, we are up to 165 tomatoes harvested so far. I haven't counted what's on the vines, so let's go with last weeks count minus whatever I've taken off. That leaves 220, I think. But since the buggers keep producing them and it's still early in the season... you get the idea. *burp*

I've been a bit lazy with getting good parrot pictures, I'm sorry. I'll get some really awesomely great ones these next few days and post them. And I owe wallpapers to 2 of ya and a screensaver to 1 of ya... Heck, that'll give me something to do on Boxing Day while watching the start of the Sydney to Hobart yacht race. Oh, SV Meerkat; would you like a dvd of the start and background of the boats? Lemme know, eh?

It's been a fairly mild day. Sunny, barely 90 F in the shade. Don't know what it was in the direct sun, guessing 110 F. It'll be about the same tomorrow for Christmas day so I'll make sure to bundle up for the walk on the beach.

I know I've kept you all waiting to find out what was in my shorts that were left out overnight by the pool after an evening of skinny dipping. Would any of you believe the critter in this picture was in my shorts? Oh, and by the way, do any of you blokes/blokettes (or sheilas if you prefer) up north know what it is?

Let these next pictures be a warning to all you impressionable youths. DON'T DRINK IN THE POOL LOUNGE!!! Cus bad things can happen...

It began as just an ordinary afternoon in the pool...
beer and pool 01
Ahhhhhh, what a nice day...

But all of a sudden, and without warning, a massive tsunami hit the pool!
beer and pool 02

beer and pool 04

beer and pool 03
Don't worry about me, save the BEER!

Fortunately for the beer, calm was soon restored:
beer and pool 05

Here's hoping y'all have a great holiday season!

Cheers from Oz,

Monday, December 22, 2008

Who's Been Tagged? Name This Bird.

One or two of you have been asking if you are "tagged" from my two "commenters tag" posts. Well, yes. Yes you are. I'm not holding anyone to this one though (like I could?) cus it involves a bit of work and everyone is busy with the holiday season.

However, I do want to make a list of the folks who were tagged. You know, just for the heckuva it.



SV Meerkat








No pressure, y'all.

Here's where you get to come up with a really cool, weird, or bizarre name for this bird. Oh, and there's four pics of it to give you lot's of angles.





So let's hear what you come up with!

BTW, I've lost a cat... His Lord and Mighty Highness, Lord and Master of All He Surveys, Prince Bagheera. Sadly, he's turned into a black, furry, throw rug that ends up in the oddest of places...
lazy lazy cat
Oi! What else is a bloke supposed to do when it's 96 F in the shade?

I, of course, spent the arvo in the pool... pictures coming soon!

But how's about a teaser for tomorrow? Hmmmmmm, dave goes outside at 6 am to feed da boids. dave then strips out of his robe and swims buffly in the pool. A half an hour later, dave exits pool and puts on shorts that have been sitting outside overnight from the previous night's skinny-dipping. What did dave find hanging out in the shorts (not a spider, btw)? Stay tuned!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Night AFTER Christmas in Whoville

This poem was written by WP two years ago, I take zero credit for it.

This is told with the absolute greatest respect for Dr. Suess, BTW.

But... just what would've happened HAD the Grinch won?

Here's the original post I put up two years ago today:

Some of you may (or may not) have surmised that I am a BIG fan of the Grinch --ok, if you weren't hanging out with me in Squarebanks during the holidays yonks ago then you wouldn't know this, so TOUGH!

Anyways, every time I've watched the original Grinch cartoon (circa 1963) I've always hoped that maybe, just once, the Grinch would WIN. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the holidays and I love getting folks presents that are quite unexpected... But really now! Can't the Grinch win just ONCE????

DISCLAIMER: when Dr Suess passed away, we held a wake for him in our favorite pub in Squarebanks; so there! I'm not a Grinch (shhh, don't tell my dad, he'll be so embarrassed!)

So, like... what would it be like if the Grinch were to actually win?

The following is best read using Boris Karloff's voice in your head:

Oh, wait a sec: if you want to link or re-post this, then you've really, really, really, got to make sure you tell folks where it came from:

This Is An Alaskan Dave Down Under Original Poem! Please accept no substitutes! Ok, I lie... my wife wrote it... (really!)

Now you can turn on your Boris Karloff voice in your head:

The Night after Christmas

Twas the night after Christmas and Whoville was rocking
With the kind of wild party that brings people flocking.
The noise and the booze, all the singing and dancing ...
The racket and rumpus, the shmoozing and prancing ...
Would drive to the point of starting a riot
Any poor fellow who just fancied quiet.
And you already know who was sane by an inch:
Poised on the brink was the poor old green Grinch.

By nine in the morning even Max was vibrating
With the jackhammer jollity; it’s not overstating
That not even Max could endure so much ‘cheer,’
No matter how snockered one became on Who beer.
And by two in the P.M., oh, Maxie was worried,
For the Grinch looked so manic; the beast who’d been buried
Beneath fudge and tinsel, and the charm of a child
Had clawed back to the surface ... and my, he was wild!

All the popping and bopping, the preening and prancing,
The swinging and zinging, and -- oh, the break-dancing!
Were more than the Grinch could guess how to endure ...
And then, all at once, he envisioned a cure,
For there by the Christmas tree, flat on the floor,
Was one lonely present. A forgotten chainsaw.
And the Grinch had no sooner set eyes on that tool
Then he said to himself, “Grinchie, you’ll been such a fool,
To think you could bear all this ruckus and humbug,
This rumpus and dumpus, this scampus and scumbug,
This noise, noise, noise, noise, that these Whofolk call ‘fun,’
While the stores are all closed and you can’t buy a gun --
There isn’t a fowling piece (nor even a pheasant),
But one of these idiots forgot his best present!”
For under the Christmas tree, left on the floor,
Wrapped up in red ribbons lay a brand new chainsaw:

All shiny and sharpy, all toothy and jagged --
Just begging for gasoline! So, out the Grinch swaggered
With a light, empty gascan and a bag full of quarters,
To the gas station downtown, with a brain full of slaughters ...
There wouldn’t be any Who left to make noise!
They’d be peacefully absent, the Who girls and boys.
The Who-guys and ladies would be quiet as the snow --
And Cindy-Lou Who’d be the first one to go.

For the Grinch could envisage the headlines tomorrow,
When no Who in Whoville survived to feel sorrow --
Here was a task to which the Grinch felt quite equal
(And MGM’s already contracted the sequel):

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Merry Christmas from The Land of Oz!

Ho, ho, ho! Hee, hee, hee! Yep, it's that time of the year! The holiday feast is upon us. This means that starting in 2 days from now I'll be chained to the table post in the kitchen to prepare boatloads of goodies for all... Although "they" don't know that I know where the spare key is hidden so when "they" leave the house I can then go jump in the pool.

'Course, I'll bet some cranky bloke way up north will tattle on me...

Before I get to the Christmas Greetings part of this post, I thought I'd tell you that on the latest bushwalk we saw 7 koalas, 2 emus, 3 yellow-tailed black cockatoos, a pair of kookaburras, 2 bilbys, numerous galahs, magpies, rosella parrots, and we heard around a dozen Bunyips (horrid creature, look it up!).

Here's proof:
cute koala

cute koala 01

cute koala 02

I also have a tomato update for y'all. So far we've harvested 153 ripe, juicy, sun-hot, fresh-off-the-vine tomatoes. There's 232 still on the plants (and they keep producing more and MORE and MORE) so we figure we'll get around six to seven hundred tomatoes by the time the season is over. Not too bad for AUD$35 (USD$23).

It's finally getting warm and it might actually stay there for a while --FINALLY!!! It's 86 F in the shade, 118 F in the sun, but the pool is still a freezing cold 76 F. However, the pool should be in the high 80's this arvo. And that's a good thing cus I've got to scrub the pool walls later today. If that water was any colder I'd need a drysuit, or at least a 5 mm wetsuit! Sigh...

Went for a walk on the beach the other day. Yup, took lot's of pictures too. But I won't put any of those up since I don't want to antagonize anyone going through winter right now. And I especially won't put any pics of when I saw a group of 20-something year-old girls playing beach cricket. They had string bikinis on. I was going to take a picture but since WP had threatened to separate various body parts from my main body part if I did... Well, you get the idea.

To make it up to you blokes in the frozen north, I thought I'd show you some vids of how Aussies celebrate Christmas.

And here's a lesson in 'stralian:

And here's just a couple of commercials for two of my pals up north, Ish and KC:

Friday, December 19, 2008

A Tagging We Will Go...

And here's where I finish up the Commenter's Tag. This is the one where I answer a specific question about the blog of each of the last ten commenter's. Keep in mind, there's a good chance I'll be at times thoughtful, and at other times, way off topic, and there just might be some snarkiness thrown in for good measure.

But first, how about some pics from down under? What's that you say...? NO? Harumph, too bad cus you're gonna git em. If you don't like the pics you can just scroll past them.

Firstly, how about a pic of a couple of Pacific Black Ducks have a bath in the pool?
two pacific black ducks

This cockatoo has badazz landing skillz:
ackward landing

Naturally, the sheila is much more graceful:
better landing

I think they put this up for the tourists...

Here's what His High and Mighty Highness, Lord and Master of All He Surveys, Prince Bagheera has to say about the whole situation:
tired cat

And now for my answers to question about each of the last ten commenters!

1. What's your favorite post from #3's blog?

SV Meerkat has a great blog. Do I have a favourite post? Nope. Why not? Well, Jim and Heather are retired and living on a 49 foot sailboat in Baja and they have lots of posts about cruising the islands, drinking wine, eating fresh fish, and partying in La Paz. Hmmmmm, can't think a favourite post; they are all great!

2. Has #10 taken any pictures that moved you?

Cathy up in Kotzebue takes great pics. I love her dog pics and the mushing pics. As far as inspiring... One of her latest has inspired me: I need to learn to take great sunset pics.

3. Does #6 reply to comments on his or her blog?

Yes, Arvay does. Well, except when she's not busy kicking serious butt in post-graduate physics and engineering classes. In fact, many of her comment reply are better than her posts. This one is a good example. *snort, giggle*

4. Which part of blogland is #2 from?

Ole KC is actually in my hometown of Squarebanks, Alaska. Right smack dab in the middle of the Interior of nowhere! Well, I'm not sure if he's from there or not, but that's certainly where he is now.

5. If you could give one piece of advice to #7, what would it be?

This would be fozzywog in Ohio. Don't let your manfriend go!!! He sounds like a great bloke.

6. Have you ever tried something from #9's blog?

Yes, yes I have. However, we will never, ever, ever talk about skinny dipping in the Bering Sea in wintertime ever again. BTW, if you want great pics of life on the Aleutian Chain, go visit Alaska Steve's blog.

7. Has #1 blogged something that inspired you?

Marie has inspired me to make fermented fish. No, just don't ask... She has also inspired me not to take anything around South Oz for granted!

8. How often do you comment on #4's blog?

Often enough (and snarkily enough) that I think Fishmeal wants to come down here to beat the crap out of me. Or buy me a beer, hard to tell which.

9. Do you wait for #8 to post excitedly?

Waaaaaah! The one blog I don't have a chance to read enough... Ummmmm, hmmmm, that's some awfully weird syntax for this question. Shouldn't it be, "Do you wait excitedly for #8 to post?" Oh, what do I know. What I do know is that Paige seems to be a very nice lady and I need to read her blog more often.

10. How did #5's blog change your life?

I think that Suzer's blog has inspired me to get a bit more connected with folks around the world. As there is a great many cool people out there and it's nice to get to know a few of them.

Whoops, I just ended a post on a serious note! Definitely haven't had enough beer this morning...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Watching Me Swim Naked!

Ha! I knew that'd git ya to read this post. Now the big question is WHO is watching me swim naked?


From high above the Earth inside their orbiting stealth platform in geosynchronous orbit over South Oz, aliens have taken high quality photos of my pool! I swim in the pool frequently... orphanly (oftenly) --big shout out to Gilbert and Sullivan-- and in the mornings it can even be nakedly.

Will I show up in any of these photos? Hmmmmm, YOU be the judge:

da house

Yup, Aliens!

But enough about me, how are you? Oh, sorry to hear that, bummer about that barium enema you had to go through...

Shifting gears:

I've been tagged! Yes, the nice lady who runs The Ester Republic up in Ester, Alaska has tagged me. Since she did hers in two parts, I'm also going to do mine in two parts. After I finish the second part then I'll tag the ten folks who deserve it.

And Deirdre, you and your hubby have a standing invite to visit.

Ok, here's the deal: I list the last ten commenters on my blog, say a bit about each of their blogs, and then (in part two) I answer a question about each one. Piece o' pie! Easy as cake!

But I'm changing the rules a bit though. See when Deirdre (can I call you DeeDee?) listed mine she gave both my blogs urls. That means I get to pick from the previous ten on both my blogs! There's a bit of crossover, but the most recent 10 commenters betwixt both my blogs are here.

Oh wait, some birdie pictures for those of you who only come here for the birds (cus that's what kind of brain I've been told I have).

staring cockatoo front

staring cockatoo right

staring cockatoo left

Well trained bugga, eh?

I am also going to get in so much trouble with my synopsis of each blog...

Ok, here's the last ten commenters on my blog(s):

Marie up in Sweden. Marie is from South Oz, and went in pretty much the opposite direction as I did at about the same time! Perhaps she heard I was coming down here and decided to bug out while she had the chance? She's got really cool Swedish type stuff on her blog and she'll be quite happy to send you a can (tin) of the great Northern Swedish delicacy of surströmming.

Geneflow. This is KC up in Squarebanks, my hometown. He's a wildlife biologist and has forgotten more about antlered animals than I've ever known. He likes beer so he's gotta be doing something right. Anyone who makes his own snares while watching Red Green and drinking beer is a fair dinkum bloke! And he's good at identifying Aussie critters.

SV Meerkat. The catamaran Meerkat is a beautiful 49 foot vessel that calls the port town of La Paz in Baja her home. She loves sailing around the islands and her rigging makes great nesting places for birds. She does have to put up with the two winos who have been hanging out belowdecks for a few years. However, since they graciously scrub her bottom, clean the bird crap off the deck, and keep her in good trim she has told me she'll put up with those two for a while longer.

Ishmael Melville. Well, heck. Is there anything I can say about this guy that y'all don't already know? And yes, that includes all the drunken debauchery down at Tony's! Not only have I learned so much about Alaskan bloggers from Ish, but I also really really REALLY appreciate it that not only is he a good sport about my joking with him, but that he has not flown down here to beat the crap out of me --yet.

Suzer's Expat Adventures. She's been to more places on this here planet than I can count! And she decided that Adelaide, South Oz is the place to settle! Although we've never met, I'm sure we'd get along. Especially since there's a picture on her blog with her holding a 1.5 litre bottle of Jim Beam with a big ole smile on her face.

Silicon Valley to Tanana Valley. Arvay is my long lost food twin. She found my blog via my Peanut Butter Cheesecake with Hot Fudge Sauce recipe *drool*. She's recently moved to Squarebanks and is working on her PHD from good ole UAF. She's also much smarter than me (don't laugh!!!!). You should read about some of her skijoring adventures with her dogs... especially about the one when she was squatted down in the snow to go wee-wee and the dogs run around behind her and... well, just read it.

Fizzgig. Fozzywig. Fizzygiggle. Fozzlewozzlewigwam. Something like that. She hangs out somewhere in Ohio and blogs about the fact she's madly in love with her boytoy. Fortunately for him, he reciprocates :) I need to make more funny comments on her blog cus she just gives out so much great blog fodder! Oh, and congrats on losing the 52 lbs, good on ya mate. And she likes vodka, whiskey, rum, tequila, wine, etc. Sorry guys, she's taken.

Paige Jennifer. Well I do believe I have Ishmael to thank. See, Paige is a regular commenter of Ish's blog so it's no surprise she wandered down here. She's a writer --and a darned good one at that. I'm hiding in the corner now cus I haven't been around to her blog enough to know whether I can be snarky or not... *sniffle*

A Sense of Place. Alaska Steve hangs out in the thriving metropolis of Unalaska, Alaska. It's a "town" on the Aleutians... Bristol Bay... Year round hurricane force winds... Blowing snow... Uphill both ways! And he rides his motorcycle around the islands to take great pics! And I'm so jealous cus he gets King Crab fresh off the boats!

Tundra Tantrum. You want to know what life is like above the Arctic Circle in a very barren place? Where the folks are more friendly than anyone you've ever met? Cathy has not only some great tales from the frozen north, but some even better photos. Next summer I'm gonna go up there and steal her camera that I'm jealous of. BTW, Cathy; please take lots of dog mushing pics this season. Ta.

Stay tuned for part two.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

What Kind Of Bird...

Yup, here's another post where you get to hone your research skillz to razor sharpness. Heck, a few more of these and your researching and critter identifying skillz will be a sharp as my wit!

Before I get to the critter, I've just gotta tell you we are up to 106 tomatoes harvested so far. 202 still on the vines, and more appearing daily. Tonight's dinner will be bruschetta with fresh tomatoes and basil from the garden, a tossed salad with lots of tomato and basil, and mexican risolles with a fresh tomato salsa for topping.

I've also been tagged! However, she who tagged me still hasn't completed hers with all the rules, so I'll have to wait. Sigh...

Now, I *sure* you'll all recognize this bird due to the distinctive pose they strike. However, you need to find out just what KIND of cormorant it is.

cormorant 01

cormorant 02

cormorant 03

I'll even give you a hint: it's the kind that nests in trees.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Grossest Smell EVER!

Yes, I've left you hanging on the edge of your seats in antici..... PAtion of just what is so gross.

But before I get to that, how's about a parrot picture and two koala pictures so the squeemish folks can look at the pics and then scram?

Here's 3 long-billed corella cockatoos:
3 long billed corella cockatoos

Hey, don't laugh! You know what they say about a bloke with a big beak!

Next up is two shots of a koala. This bloke was really haming it up for the camera too. About twenty feet up, and actually awake! See, there's a particular trail in Belair that I know that every single time I've been on it for the last 4 years has had koalas. So if you are ever down here and want to see a wild koala, just look me up.
stretching koala

koala napping in the sun

And before I forget, here's this weeks great tomato count:

89 harvested + 219 on vines = 308 total tomatoes so far.

Anybody remember Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory? Well how about Charlie and The Chocolate Factory? Remember what happened to Violet Beauregarde? I'll let you know if I start to turn red, swell up, and get really juicy and flavourful, no worries.

Ok, all the squeemish people can leave now.

Oh, before you think that I'm a wuss, I've cleaned many fish, seen many old, smelly, picked-over salmon carcasses on the beach, and had the fun of cleaning out many bilges on boats. And clean craploads of stinky litter boxes. And I eat fermented cabbage and I've even tasted stinky fish heads. Oh, and muktuk is good.

This total gross smell occurred last year in late January. Now as some of you may be aware, that's the middle of our summer. It can get rather hot. It's not hot yet as today it's only 86 in the shade and 107 in the sun and 80 in the pool. But don't worry, I can handle these cold temps, no worries.

Anyways, last year by the end of January it was a bit hot. Now, if it's 100 F in the SHADE for a few days on end, what do you think the temp in the inside of a car will be? Warm, very very warm.

Well one day on the way back from Westfield Marion (2nd or 3rd largest shopping mall in the Southern Hemisphere, but don't worry, they're expanding!) after a particularly hot day, I noticed and odd odour from inside the car. Like something was rotting...

My first thought was that maybe we'd left a bag of trash from our latest outing at Belair in the car (pack out your own trash). I was right! But it didn't seem to acount for the rotten smell.

Nevertheless, I dutifully cleaned out the entire interior, vacuumed the carpets, and sprayed disinfectant all over the carpets.

A few hot days later the smell was worse.

Much worse.

Really ripe.

Perhaps it's something in the trunk...

WOOOO-WEEEEE! Yup, definitely from the trunk! Gack! I almost gagged when I opened it.

Ok, lemme have a look around... oil, coolant, folding chairs, folding table, tools, spare tire... Hmmmm, what's in this plastic bag shoved down in a corner...



I grabbed the offending bag, dumped it in the trash bin (never to be opened till after collection day!) and then proceeded to puke my guts out for five minutes at the base of one of the palm trees by the carport.

I still get nauseous just thinking about the stench...


Seriously, BAD!

I'd never smelled anything so disgusting in my entire life (keep in mind I used to work in fast food a few summers during my early college years).

I know, I know. You are on the edge of your seat wanting to know what the smell was. Right? RIGHT? I'll tell you. Just make sure you have a bucket handy...

About a month previous WP and I had been grocery shopping. One of the many things we bought was a chook (that's a chicken). It was raw and thawed. We had quite a few others bags of groceries all loaded up in the trunk. When we got home and started unpacking the bags we realized there was no chook.

I checked the trunk TWICE for the bird. Couldn't find it. We figured it was left at the checkout. Darn. Ok, someone got a free bird. We considered it a holiday charity gift to someone.

The bag with the raw chook had gotten wedged down in a recess in the trunk behind the right rear wheel. And there it sat...








For over a month...

So, now you know what I consider to be the grossest thing ever: the smell of a rotting chook in a sealed plastic bag after sitting in the trunk of a car for over a month in 100 F temps.

I hope I didn't spoil your appetite.

Now if you don't mind I need to go work on dinner. We are having chicken...

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Total Grossness

Yes, it's time to make everyone sick. Last year I found out about the most total, complete, 100% grossest thing EVER!





But before I get to that, I'll give the folks who just might be faint of heart a chance to see some cool parrot pics. These pics have absolutely nothing to do with utter and complete grossocityness. Well, one of two might have a caption from YT.

I just love the framing on this shot. She (can you tell she's a sheila?) is sooooo cute! Taken from the pool lounger (with dual beer holders) at 7 am.
framed galah

brave sparrow
I think the sparrow's name in Ishmael.

because I can
I eat like this because I can!

nice claws
Are you from Kodiak, little one?

And now on to the gross stuff.

Hmmmmmmm, what could it be?

Perhaps the time YT closed the door on his toenail? Blood went everywhere. Eventually the toenail grew back. YT even had WP take a picture during the process whereupon the blood encrusted toenail separated from the base...

Nope, that's not even close.

Was it the time when YT dissected the Huntsman's (Huntsbabe's) egg sac?

Well, it could be gross, but since I didn't eat the spider caviar it doesn't rank.

Could it be the time YT was swimming naked in the pool and suddenly got the runs?

Ahhhhh, getting there... but no, not as gross as what's coming.

Perhaps it was the time that hunk of re-bar got itself jammed into little YT's left knee?

Hmmmmm, painful but not gross.

How about the time when YT ran around a corner and ended up with his face in the nether regions of a moose?

Well, now we are getting somewhere. However, that ain't it.

But it does have to do with smell. In fact, it has all to do with smell.

It's been almost a year now since the totally grossest smell ever... I still get the dry heaves when I think about it.

I'm sorry, but I really can't finish this post... my stomach is protesting! The smell! AAAAIIIIGGGGHHHH!

I swear I'll tell ya about it tomorrow, honest.


Saturday, December 06, 2008

Flippin' Da Boid

Oopsie! I just noticed that in the last post (that'd be the one about the sharks eating the swimmers) I plain forgot to post some Australian parrot pictures.

Well, I'll fix that today. But before I get to that, here's...



So far 63 ripe, juicy, sun-heated tomatoes have been consumed and 217 are still on the vines. Hmmm, any guesses as to what tonight's dinner will be based upon? If you guessed tomato and roo, then you'd be right.

On wit' da boidy pics!

I purposely over-exposed this shot so it'd look like a beak and eyes peering out of the white background. Unfortunately there are still some feathers showing... grumble.
overexposed cockatoo

With this next one I was *sure* the cockatoo would jump down to the top of the feeder. So I pre-focused and got all the settings right and then waited and waited and waited for the cockatoo to jump from the top of the brick wall. As soon as s/he jumped I tripped the shutter. Too bad s/he didn't go to where I thought s/he would...
missed picture

But I did get one good pic this morning:
one galah two little corellas

Just ignore the two blurry blokes up top and have a look at the babe landing on the rail:
cool cockatoos

Everyone write your own caption for this last shot:
wingspread cockatoo

A bonus Conversation With Wifey-Poo!

Some background: I've got an infected hair follicle on the outside of my lower lip, right hand side. It hurts almost as bad as when a wasp stung the inside of my lower lip when I was a wee tyke (don't ask... PLEASE don't ask).

Remember, YT is myself (yours truly) and WP is Wifey-Poo, otherwise known as the most wonderful woman in the entire world.

WP was working at her computer as YT was staring out the window watching the birds. YT then turns and heads to the kitchen...

YT: Dang my lip hurts!

WP: Mmmmm, yes dear. *whatever*

YT: Makes me want to take up show jumping.

WP: Mmmmm, yes dear. *whatever*

YT: Oh, so you go that one, eh?

WP: Hmmm, what's that you said dear?

YT: I said my lip hurts.

WP: It's infected, of course it'll hurt. *oh crap, what did I miss?*

YT: So then I said I should take up show jumping.

WP: You've lost me on this one. *how can I find a nice way to ignore him?*

YT: The Royal LIPizzaner Stallions?

WP then continues typing and doesn't say a word.