This would of course mean that I'm feeling too bleedin' lazy to put up a real post and yet I pheal compelled to put something up else ya'll will think I fell of the face of the Earth (again).
That reminds me, I AM working on the rest of my 100% percent true Alien Abduction story so expect posts about that to appear sporadically and spasmodically throughout this coming century.
But for today YOU (yes YOU, not the other one but YOU) get to be creative!
YOU get to come up with either a caption, a short paragraph, or even a short story about a coupla pics that YOU are about to see. Obviously just use the comment function, no worries mates.
This first one can be tackled from many different angles. Is it an evil grin behind that mask or non at all? What is he planning? Who is he? What is he doing? And what exactly is that thing that is attached to his face?
Possibilities are endless mates! So put your tinfoil thinking caps, snort deeply from your powdery supply of scents of humor, and GIVE IT A GO MATES!
Now this second one is also an actual photo that I took. Although it was during a reconnaissance expedition of the third moon of Ceti Gamma Prime in the alien spaceship that I commandeered during my 100% TRUE Alien Abduction story and not here on Earth like the above photo was taken... Whoops! I've said too much, better take that blue pill now!
See how easy it is?
Here's the actual photo:
Oh wait, you'll definitely want to see it larger sized, and make sure you have a good squizz in all the shadowy areas for extra detailing and ideas for captions/comments/stories/etc.
Alrighty everyone! Go bang your funny bones on your collective door frames and let's see what YOU come up with!
G'day mates! How are ya? Has this winter (or summer) been treating you nicely? Lemme know, eh?
I'm hoping that everyone is now happy again now that I'm posting regularly again --fingers, toes, eyes, legs, ankle, arms all crossed in the hope that I can keep it up!
Don't expect any rhyme nor reason from my posts, one day you may see me running around an alien spaceship, the next you may see an embarrassed koala! Why the flighty-ness? It's not that I don't have a short attention span, it's just that I get ummmmm, side-tracked (yeah, that's it!) more often than knot and then a few days go by as I try to finish up (start!) a post that was a great idea at the time and befour I know it; a month has gone by-BYE!
Well (and that's a deep subject), NO MORE! I'll post whatever darned thing comes to my mind and type whatever darned stuff spews itself through my fingertips, onto my keyboard, onto your screen, into your eyeballs, then the spewed stuff finally comes to rest in some back-corner, unused area of your memory.
I hope you don't mind.
And no, I had absolutely NO IDEA I was going to type what I have typed thus far, I just let the fingers spew forth whatever they phelt like spewing forth.
*screeeeeeeeech* Insert sound of brakes
Changing gears now.
Many of you may or may not be aware that I'm going to have to travel to the US for a coupla weeks near the end of May. The reason is quite obvious as it involves Arlington National Cemetary. I will unfortunately NOT be able to work in a visit to Alaska (seriously grumbling about that), in fact it'll be an East Coast only trip with the exception of an airport or two.
I do not plan on cutting my hair (still no gray and approaching 50!!!!). Haven't cut it since late 1998 so why ruin a good thing, eh? I am not planning on shaving my long goatee (ok, it has a couple of gray strands) which is rapidly becoming a cross betwixt a long Van Dyke type and a short Manchu type. I also have long sideburns.
And to make sure that I'm fairly noticable, I will be bringing and wearing my tie-dye shirt collection!
Ain't they purdy?
Oh, and I'll be wearing one of several pairs of crocs routinely and wearing a black, roo-skin, acubra-style Aussie hat.
And a camera around my neck at pretty much all times. Yes, I'll be the weird tourist from Oz! Anybody gotta problem wit dat?
I have been continuing to play with and learn Vue 10. Great program! Loves it, I does! Check this out mates:
Here it is much more bigger sized:
Pretty good eh? All from scratch from Yours Truly! Vue also renders much faster than Bryce, this only took 6 hours to renders and talk about realistic plants!
Next up, dave makes a lame joke.
I am about to make a joke that may be a major embarrassment to me. So much so that I may go hide my head in shame rather like this:
The joke is a visual one. It's from one of my own pictures too!
You know how some people (not naming names mind you) tend to see phallic symbols everywhere? Yes, it's true some people do, not sure why.
Well, thinking along that "type" of line... What does this next picture remind you of?
I know, I'm a bad, evil, vile person and you don't need to tell me where I'm going cus I already know the way.
Ok, joke's over.
Those of you who know me in real life know that I have a knack for resting. And sleeping. Stay tuned for next time as I tell you ALL about my embarrassing history of sleeping and resting in what *some* people might think are inappropriate places!
Butt befour we get to this particular chapter in my completely true Alien Abduction story, I think it's best if I actually put up a few pics (and maybe even a video!!!) of some Aussie critters.
Why, you ask? Cuz it's been a while since I have, that's why! Or didn't any of you notice? No? Perhaps that's because I haven't been as much of the prolific posting personality as I used to be?
Well, whatever the reason, I shall now just shut up and show you some pics of Little Corella Cockatoos!
Obviously that morning was pretty overcast. Hey, we do sometimes see clouds down here! Those little corellas were part of a slightly larger flock:
And that was about a tenth of the flock!
Some of you may know (or knot) that when you get a fairly sizable group of birds together that they like to talk amongst themselves. Well, parrots are no different!
Would you like to know what the sound of a flock of little correllas sounds like at 7:00 AM?
Would ya?
Woodja woodja woodja?
Of course you would. But first you have to make sure your computer sound volume is turned to maximum as you want to make sure the whole office building or subdivision can share in your joy at hearing these bird.
Now on with my true alien abduction story! With everything recreated by Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human!) with his awesomely perfect photographic memory! Yes, this is what REALLY happened! *wink*
In case you missed some earlier acts due to hanging out in the lobby chatting up the sheila or bloke behind the popcorn counter or perhaps toking up in the bathroom, here's a quickie recap!
Note: some of my astute readers may recognize the following paragraph verbatim from Act XII but I don't mind plagiarizing myself!
Yes, it's time for another installment in the completely, 100% true story of my alien abduction. Don't you remember? This was after I died after cutting myself shaving with a meat cleaver in the pool and was then brought back to an undead, brain-craving, zombie state from a lightning strike and then was transported up to the A.S.S. (Alien Space Ship) cus I struck the pyramid on top of my roof with my lightning-charged sledgehammer and was then transformed into an undead, brain-eating, hulking beast with a club roaming the cave-like corridors of the A.S.S. that had the rego number of C4P-PFP2012.
Whew! And just in case any of you need sausage lynx to the previous acts...
Now for a very brief picture recap! After which you'll get to see (and read) Act XV!
And here are some of those great, full-sized NON-PHOTOSHOPPED pics!
This one is from the passing, cloaked, Chinese spy satellite.
And here's one the Russians took from the ISS!
This is the one where I distinctly remember seeing the rego number on the A.S.S.
And remember, the Chinese spy satellite got a pic of the TOP of the A.S.S. too, also.
You may remember that after I materialized inside the A.S.S the aliens then activated some sort of hologramaphic device that changed the corridors to caves. I distinctly remember charging through the caves and encountering this sign:
I quickly hung a left (me being rather left-leaning) and as I charged down the cavern the rock walls changed back into the actual, real corridors of the A.S.S. However, I was still my lightning-charged, zombie-ized, club-wielding, brain-eating undead self. Fortunately, my body had retained it's original, studly self!
Now begins Act XV of my TRUE Alien Abduction!
Whilst charging down the corridor onboard the A.S.S. in search of alien brains to eat as I was still in my zombie state, I passed through several doors that opened and closed automatically as I raced towards what I hoped was the control room of the A.S.S. so that I could eat some tasty alien brains and just hopefully find an escape pod to get back to Oz and perchance find a way to get back to what passes for normal for me.
*Isn't that an awesomely great sentence from Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human!) that I typed all by me oneses and Wifey-Poo (Most Wonderful Woman In The Entire World) tells me is actually grammatically correct?*
Just as I was beginning to think the A.S.S. with the rego number C4P-PFP2012 (remember kiddies, Gene Roddenberry proved that all space ships have rego #'s painted on the outside in English!) was totally deserted, I arrived at a pair of doors that hopefully led to the control and some tasty alien brains... and the door was GUARDED!
By aliens!
Imagine my surprise as my zombie self became the first Earthling to come face to face with REAL aliens!
Just
imagine
the
shocked
look
on
my
face!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yeah, I'm quite sure I looked EXACTLY like that!
And what did I see in front of me?
Glad you asked mates!
And now we finally get to see what the alien guards who are guarding the door which may or may not be an entrance to the control room look like!
Are you ready?
Are you sure?
As you can tell, this is about to get... shall we say... Interesting?
Stay tuned for Act XVI as more silliness comes your way from the merry old land of Oz!
Yes folks, another year has gone by. Flew by! Shot by! ZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMED by!
I blinked, I missed it. Darn.
Yes, it is my birthday today, Sunday August 28th 2011.
I wasn't expecting anything this morning as our plans for overnighting somewhere (anywhere EXCEPT the house!) were shot to shit 2 weeks ago. Spent the last 2 weeks helping BIL with his PHD thesis AND helping him grade biology lab reports for 1st year uni students.
Is there anything his daveness can't do? Full disclosure: his daveness is what one of my twitter girlfriends calls me :-} She also wants a clone of me. Or at least someone to cook for her!
Don't swoon ladies, I'm human!
Anyways, wifey-poo and I are gonna get away, it'll be a late birthday pressie for me.
And even with that I did get some pressies this morning! I did have to make my own cake, but I'm pretty good at that.
BIL picked out a great card. It is the BEST BIRTHDAY CARD EVER!
Hey, off topic but can anyone guess whereabouts in South Oz this picture was tooked?
Now by now I'm sure that perhaps just one or two of you are about to inquire as to my current age. Well, you don't need to ask cuz I'm gonna tell ya!
I am now 2.6914 x 10^52 Planck time units old.
And I feel every single one of them at times!
For those of you who have a hard time converting Planck time units into the arcane "year" measurement, I have this to say:
Adelaide, South Oz (via dave's fake news service): The race director of Adelaide's Tour Down Under has just made a startling announcement. There is a very real possibility that the 2010 Tour Down Under in January could be canceled due to weather.
"As many of you are aware, Adelaide has not had our usual, summery, oven-style heat this November and December," stated Mike Tartarsauce, race director for the TDU. "Seriously, visitors and riders from around the world come down here to challenge themselves in the heat in January. If we can't provide the proper furnance-like temperatures then why would any of them show up?"
"We need at least 3 weeks of 40 C and above to pump some heat into the region and hope for 45's during the race, otherwise we may just have to cancel," continued Tartarsauce. "I even tried talking to a local tribal elder about the possibility of human sacrifice to appease their weather gods. Unfortunately he walked away muttering something about 'crazy white fella'."
The reaction from teams and riders has been swift upon hearing the news.
Lance Armstrong "I live to suffer. I suffer better than anyone. It's how I won 7 TDF's, by suffering better than all the other riders. This will be my 3rd TDU and if I can't suffer in blast furnace heat for a week then I'm not sure what I'll do. Maybe just stay in the hotel and flog myself."
Anna Hanson "Tee-Hee, and I was so looking forward to seeing Vienna with Lancey-poo."
Andre Greipel "Ya, da heet. I love eet! Da pansy-boys wilt in da heet as I stomp all ohvar dem. Vat? No heet? How vill I beet da pansy Manxman?"
Stewy O'Grady's "It's been rough mate. I had to wear leggings, jacket, and booties this morning. And that was just to light the fire! No way am I going out riding in that cold weather."
Robbie McEwen "Bloody hell, this is worse than a Belgium spring."
Tom Boonan "Good! I fucking wasn't planning on being down there fucking anyways. Besides, the fuckers down there would actually arrest me if I wrapped my fucking ferrari around a fucking street sign."
Mark Cavendish "Where is that place again? Doesn't matter to me as long as I get to kick some big German's ass."
Alby "As you know mate, I've been in every TDU. I'm proud of it but seriously thinking of not giving it a go this time around. Too bloody cold mate!"
Jose Luis Arrieta "Si a mà ya mi equipo no puede pasar el rato en la playa y recoger todos los rubios, bronceados, chicas bikini australiano, entonces no vamos!"
UPDATE
It appears that the local weather gods MAY have taken pity after hearing the crying and whinging from Mr. Tartarsauce as Dec 31th is forecast to reach 43 C in the shade. The South Oz cycling community has breathed a huge sigh of relief!
