Homemade Kangaroo, Venison, Caribou, or Moose Sausages

This sausage was made with roo meat, but any game meat from the title should be very tasty with this. I decided to make it cus we got some venison sausage the other day and the flavour reminded me of reindeer sausage from back in Alaska.

Naturally, I just had to come up with my own seasonings!

Note: This will be appearing on my food blog soon complete with pictures of the process.

I do have to brag a bit though, not only am I two for two for picking stage winners so far in this years' TDF, but I am also an expert koala spotter.

I even have proof! Not only did I spot 10 of them out bushwalking last week, but some were quite distant.

This fella is actually quite a ways away:



Here's how far away:



Does this help you find the bugga?




Then a very pretty lady roo came bounding through the scrub and stopped right next to us.




She didn't stay for long, and I actually got a picture of her bounding away:




Annnnnnnnd that brings us to our recipe today: Dave's Caseless Roo Sausage!

One of the nice things about roo (and most game meat) is that it's very lean. This means that it won't shrink on the barby nor will it drip fat down and flame up and burn itself. Very kind of it, dontcha think?

Here's what you need:

2 tsp ground black pepper
1 tbsp crushed garlic
1 tsp mustard powder
2 tbsp salt
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp grated ginger
1/2 cup port wine
1 tbsp dried onion flakes
2 tsp powdered sage
2 tsp cumin powder
1 tsp crushed fennel seeds
1 kilo (2.2 pounds) roo mince (ground roo or any other ground game meat)
1/2 cup of bread crumbs
1 food smoker
1 grill


What you do:

Chuck it all into a large bowl --except the smoker and the grill-- and mix it all together. Just squeeze it through your fingers with your hands for a couple of minutes and it'll all be combined nicely.

Form the mix into sausages. Patties or links, your choice.

Put them in the smoker for 30 to 40 mins. Try to keep the heat low and the smoke heavy.

Let them sit on a plate and cool and "age" for a few hours after smoking.

Crank on the grill and cook em!

Very tasty!

My TDF stage winner for tonight's stage 3 is... The Manx Missle.

Total Incoherence

My normal mental state every July is the title of this post. Yes, yes, I realise some of you think I'm like this year-round, but I gotta tell ya it's hard work to be like this without actually being like this.

Fortunately for me (sadly for WP (Wifey-Poo)) I don't have to work at it during July.

Oh, did y'all notice I'm tweeting now? Just look to the left side of your screen, no worries. Speaking of the left side of the screen, I'm shocked that some of you actually voted for "It sucks and I'm too lazy and stupid to hit the stop button" in my latest poll.

Does this mean that almost half of my readers feel that they are lazy and stupid? Or was is just a poorly worded query. Either way, I don't care! Ha! So there!

Oh, here's some pics showing just how scatter-brained I am...





Yeah, my fotoframing sucks big ones.

But why am I so scattered-brained (more than usual) in July? It's cus some idiot Frenchies schedule a bike race in the middle of the night Aussie time. And some idiotic aussie telly station broadcasts every stage live.

Here's my routine for 4 weeks (I'll start at noon, local time):


Noon o'clock arvo: plan dinner (hopefully it'll be edible, but I don't care)

Noon-thirty: take nap --don't set alarm and hope to wake around 4 pm. For some reason I never sleep past 2pm.

2 pm to 4 pm: stare glazedly out no particular window.

4 pm to 4:15 pm: attempt to blog... fail miserably.

4:30 pm: remove face from keyboard after falling asleep for the fourth time.

4:45 pm: try to hide bleary, bloodshot eyes from WP --fail miserably

5 to 6 pm make dinner --who cares what it is? I sure don't

6 to 6:05 pm: eat dinner

6:05 to 7:00 pm: check the series of tubes for cycling news.

7 to 10:30 pm: Take nap, but be sure to set alarm.

10:30 to 10:50 pm: Hammer the snooze button into submission.

10:50 to 11:00 pm: Hook up 100% caffeine IV.

11:00 pm to 4:00 am: Watch SBS 2 without pause... bladder explodes.

4:00 am to 7:00 am: Track down all the cycling news. And the political news.

7:00 am to 7:05 am: Sneak into bed with WP and pretend to have just woken up --fail miserably.

7:05 am to 8:00 am: Huge doses of caffeine.

8:00 am to noon: Pretend to attempt to get work done. Fail miserably.

8:00 am to noon: wipe drool off keyboard every few minutes.

8:00 am to noon: jerk self awake every 5 minutes and type furiously for no reason.

8:00 am to noon: pretend to need the bathroom regularly... fall asleep on toilet.



And totally Off Topic: I have a roo pic for you! Next time, maybe...

My Turds Did Not Solidify!

And we all know just how painful THAT is!

Sheesh, I thought for sure that I had done everything right for their formation and solidifikation. Just the right germs, the proper time, and an appropriate temperature for the type I wanted to form and firm.

Sigh...

Well, poop. I guess I'll go ahead and press them overnight anyways. Who knows? Perhaps they will be better in the morrow. Hopefully they'll firm up upon aging.

Maybe I'll even smoke them. Surely I might be able to wring out a good flavour from them if I apply myself properly.

Dang, this round won't even weigh a pound. Well sheeyit.

*UPDATE* I've just noticed that when I had been typing the letter "c", the keyboard regurgitated a "t" instead. Needless to say, this may have caused some confusion for some of my more sensitive readers. I've now gone back in and replaced all the c's for a t. I *may* have missed one or two though.

Here's a tool tockie pit for putting up with my trap.



*ANOTHER UPDATE* I've found out why my curds didn't firm up: water I diluted the rennet in wasn't cooled enough. D'oh!

What the heck has dave been smoking?

This'll be a quickie post today cus WP and I are going to go hide in the woods for the day. Don't worry, we'll be bundling up quite well as it's only going to get to 68F today in the shade. BRRRRRRR!

But what have I been smoking lately? Did you know it's legal down here? Now you do.

I was going to post all the info and pics here but blogger is very slow so I'll just link to it:

I've been smoking this.

And this too, also.

... they're taking me with them, Doolittle...

So, like, what movie am I referencing and what the hell does the title of this post mean? I'll give you a hint: Very Famous Director.

Here's the rest of the shoot:











I'm assuming (and guess what that makes both of us!) you've all had a chance to research koalas. Everyone should now know about the two claws on "one" toe of the hind feet. And also how many digits on the front paws are opposable. Of course you all probably know about the fingerprints too, also.

What? Did I confuse you? Then go visit Ma Google and find out! Sheesh, like I've got time to do your research for you? Well, if you pay me...

To The Unobservant and Incurious Visitors; UPDATED

I REALLY had expected to be posting about this the very next day after the previous post went up. I (obviously quite mistakenly) thought that most of my loyal readers would notice something odd about one of the pictures. This is also why I didn't post anything for a while as I thought that, just perhaps, with a little more time someone would notice.

But noooooooooo. Apparently the tendency of a certain governor of a certain US State way up north to be rather unobservant and incurious seems to somehow rubbed off onto all my loyal readers.

Oh heck, let's go off topic here and show some old pics of SP's armpits during the campaign, shall we? Yes, we shall --for the benefit of my new readers who haven't bothered to look through my archives.

So, pics of Sarah Palin. Her armpits, specifically.

H
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I now fully expect the governors office of The State of Alaska to waste valuable time and money issuing a press release with a tone best summed up by this picture:




Back to the original topic!

Which picture am I blabbering on about for last post? It would be this one specifically:




Here, let me help some unobservant and incurious folk out by drawing their attention to a specific part of the picture:




I'd been trying for yonks to get a good pic of a wild koala showing the TWO CLAWS ON ONE TOE. Yonks! I'd been trying for YONKS! I finally get the shot, and no one notices...

Sigh...

Unless, of course, you all already know why so you saw no reason to point it out! Right? Hey, trying to give y'all the benefit of the doubt, doncha know. You betcha!

Update number one: *wink* *nudge*

Update number two: The absolute BEST movie stunt evah is in a movie titled Project A, Part One. Why, firstly it's a very cool stunt. And the main character actually did it himself, no wires, no kirby-gear, no way to rehearse the stunt, and there was only ONE chance to get the shot. Any guesses as to what I'm talking about?

I Am In Serious Need of HELP!

... although most of you figured that out a loooooooong time ago.

Am I right? Or am I right? Right? Right!

Quick, what movie was the above line from?

The help I need is figuring out some of this newfangled modern slang that even folks only 10 years younger than me are using. No, not down here in Oz. Heck, aussies have been using the same slang for yonks now so they aren't gonna change.

No, I'm talking about y'all in the USofA.

What the heck is Beer Pong? And how come I never heard of it in college? We could seriously party at good ole UAF (stands for U Are F*cked) and I never heard of it. So what is it? What are the rules?

Does anyone still play quarters?

Why play a drinking game anyways? Do you really need an excuse?

What is the deal with the spelling of the word "the" becoming "teh" in certain instances? How is it pronounced? What does it mean? When is it ok to use it?

...

AND YOU KIDS STAY OFF MY LAWN AND OUTTA MY POOL! *grumble, grumble*


Seriously though: what is beer pong and what's with "teh"?

Please help, pretty please?

As a bribe, I'll offer up some cool pics of aussie wildlife! Cus I'm nice.

I'll start with a dog. Not any ole dog, but the biggest dog I've ever seen --and I've seen some huge ones. Saw this bloke when WP and I were down at the Saturday Willunga Market picking up some freshly made venison sausage. I'm sure someone out there knows what kind he is (I know cus I asked the keepers of this beast).




He was also the friendliest, most well behaved, one and a half year old dog I've met.


I'm now very good at koala spotting. My neck doesn't like staring upwards for an hour straight while hiking and my toes, feet, and ankles really want me to watch where I'm walking.



This one is tired out from sleeping all day.

Don't laugh, it's comfy.



And what would a post be without some birdie pics?






Don't see the emus around too much, but these are wild ones.

Oh, dahhhhhling! I just left the salon and don't I look gorgeous? The fluffed, brushed, blond feathers along with the wonderful eye shadow make me look a treat!

I've Upgraded My Tool

Yes, it's true. I had to get a new tool. My old tool was getting droopy and floppy, and it just, well, couldn't get the job done anymore. Besides, I used it for things it just wasn't designed for...

Now don'tch'all goes thinkin' that I'm vain --well, actually, I am but that's not the point-- cuz this was Wifey-Poo's (WP) idea. In fact, she just couldn't walk past the long, gleaming, stainless-steel shaft as we were at "one of those" shops.

Hey, she insisted!

Not only is this new tool stainless steel, but it also has these nifty rubber grips on it so you can handle it deftly. And it's HUGE! This puppy is 471 mm long! Now I realise that one or two of you in the USA have a hard time figuring things out with base ten (like the number of digits on your hands), so I'll go ahead and convert that into a unit you may be familiar with...

My new tool is one-quarter of a fathom long! Yessiree! HUGE! LONG! And studly! Ha!

Obviously, WP insisted we try it as soon as we got home. I can safely say that she absolutely LOVES it! I won't go into details here, but I gotta tell ya that this baby will do ANYTHING. It's even large and stiff enough to open beer bottles!

How many guys can say that they can open beer bottle with their tool and please their woman afterwards? And I ain't talkin' wussy twist-off ones either! Ahem. I'll just gloat some more now!

There is one slight drawback though... I've got to do a bit of clothing alteration. I mean, if this baby flopped out in public I'd be mobbed!

Hey, do you guys wanna see it? Huh? How about it? *wink* *nudge*

I realise that the following pictures may not be work safe, but that sorta depends upon where you work. And if you are blogging from work --which we all know NONE of you would dare do!

Here we go!

CLOSEUP PICS OF DAVE'S AWESOME NEW TOOL!

H
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C
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T
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P
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Get ready...

Just look at how big and shiny this baby is! Guaranteed to satisfy anyone!

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And just look at the size compared to a whisk and a beer!

That's a 750 ml bottle, not a wussy half-size US beer bottle!


Let's zoom in for a closeup!



And it opens bottles!!!!!




This baby is soooo strong and solid I think I could lift a turkey with it. Although why you'd want to put a turkey on the grill is beyond me... And there's no way this'd fit in a normal grill apron pouch, hence some alterations are needed.

And if anyone is wondering about the beer I was opening, here it is:




PS I've just read the portion of this post BEFORE the pictures and I think that perhaps, just maybe, some of my more perverted readers MAY have gotten the wrong impression of what I was writing about. If you are one of them, then GOOD ON YA MATE!

Whatcha Y'all Think?

About the new theme song here at me ole blog? Didcha notice I put up a nice little control bar so youse can mute it? Not that anyone would want to with a great song like this!

Now, I know for a fact this was around at least as early as 1880 --has something to do with slingshotting around a massive gravity well, don't ask-- but if anyone knows of it before then I'd be happy to hear about it.

BTW, does anyone know the song or who did this particular cover of it? Yes, I do know who so don't think you're a big ole smartypants if you do know!

Coming soon to a stupid blog near you: Dave gets a new tool (cus his old one was droopy), Dave gets very rich (hey, I really know a bloke named Rich), and Dave smokes some very weird stuff!

So stay tuned!

Meantime, I've got 2 loaves of bread in the oven, burgers to make (and cook since no one here likes raw burgers), spuds to peel (and cook as my extra special chips; again since no one here likes raw spuds), and bacon to fry --what would a burger be without bacon?

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men...

... can most certainly go awry! But gosh, what lucky plans they were to be bestly laid.

I was planning on putting up the post about how the faeries and leprechans kidnapped me, took me hostage in the woods, I escaped, took the leprechan leader with me as a hostage, and forced them to give me all of their gold.

But I don't have time.

Why? Cus I need to make some whipped cream stuffed crepes for dessert, AND I haven't even started to make the bbq sauce for the faerie wings.

Needless to say, I'm a little busy. Add to that the guarding of the golden faerie hoard that I have to do... Well, I hope you understand that I'm busy.

Anyways, here's a few really cruddy pics of aussie wildlife for y'all to peruse while I go make crepes and fend off some really pissed off little flitty critters!