Something Wetted This Way Comes

D'OH!

Dang and darn!

Oh fudgesickle!

Don't you just hate, and I mean HATE, giving away the punchline to a great post in the title of the post? This means that none of you's'll be readin' past right HERE.





























But there is more. However, of course and unfortunately for you, I can't remember the really funny stuff I was thinking of for this post while I was making wort (wort is a beer brewing term, BTW) and also planting plants --outside. No, the wort wasn't being made outside, the plants were.

I blame wifey-poo. She, ah, distracted me. Yeah, that's it; distracted me.

So it's all her fault. Ahem. *ed. dave sleeps on couch tonight*

But that's ok for you. All you need to do is read this far, think of something funny, and then spew coffee/beer/tea/soda/wine/everclear all over your computer monitor.

See? Wasn't that funny?

**********BREAK!!!!!****************

YT: I'm gonna go make some bread crumbs for tonight's fishcakes.

WP: Great!

YT: Yup, I'm sure I'll make a crummy job of it! HAHHHAHAHAHAHHA!

WP: *is there something solid and heavy around?*

**********Break over*******************

This post has to do with sails. Specifically, the rigging of said sails. Does this mean that dave's going to go aloft in a gale to gybe the chute? Does it mean he's going to shimmy up the mast to the boom (in a typhoon ) to triple-reef the main?

No.

He's going to do it all the easy way: Sit down below in the cabin and push a button for the roller-furling to do it's job. Just like someone I am acquainted with.

Actually, this is rigging shade sails. For the pool dontcha know.

It all started with this pic.

Please notice that I have already rigged one of the shade sails. The one that did not require me to put the ladder in the pool.

And you may also notice just how careful I'm being:




Here I very deftly set the drill down and quickly struck a pose for the camera!




And now it's just a simple job of screwing in the hook.




Unfortunately for me, but fortunately for you, I had to stand on THIS step




This is what it looked like:




Ah, but wait my young grasshopping padowans! This next pic sums things up nicely!




Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnd, of course: the pictures

y
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Can I be serious?

Why, yes. Yes I can be serious. I'm not all fun and games, jokes, laughs, stupid caption on animal pics, and smoke and mirrors.

However even when I am being serious, I do have to quote a comedian. Just cus.

I've been following the US economy for quite some time now... I'd like to say I'm shocked at what has happened (Crikey!!! Lehmann and Merril Lynch GONE with AIG next; shortly after Freddie and Fanny were *gasp* SOCIALIZED?!!!???!) but, sadly, I'm not. The reasons why I'm not surprised are many and I'm not going there right now. But I do have to give a shout out to the US'ns reading this (and here's where the comedian quote comes in):

"I'm pullin' fer ya. Remember, we're all in this together."

BTW the first person who correctly names the actor who said that line regularly will win a screensaver.

**********************************************************************************

And now, back to our regularly scheduled blog of Aussie animal pics with funny captions!


Hmmmmm, any chance the bank will foreclose on this house?


Wake me when it's time to vote; wouldn't want to miss it again!

A (w)hole buncha stuff

I'm here! I'm hear! And there might be a few more visitors showing up
here as Ishmael has added me to his links. Does that mean that I'll
be going political? Not a chance! This here blog is a place for folks
to go and forget about their worries --Cheers, anyone?

This is going to be a very rambling, disjointed post; mainly cus that's
how my brain normally works when it does happen to work at all.

Oh, there might be a couple more visitors; family friend who was just
visiting us for two weeks, and The Old Fart (me poppa).

Our friend from Alaska (we'll call her Anna cus that's her name) was
down visiting. She's from Anchortown but has travelled all over AK for
her job.

When she left AK they were in the middle of a bit of a cold snap. Minus
15 F in Los Anchorage, minus 40 in Fairbanks; you get the idea: bloody
well COLD. She brought the cold temps with her!We were having beautiful
summer temps down here (like around 100 F in the shade), and the day she
arrived it dropped down to a right royal cold temp of 75 F in the shade.
Unfortunately, their was no rain with the freezing cold snap. But fear
not for us frost-bitten aussies; that only lasted a week and it's back
up to real summertime temps.

The pool actually had the temerity to cool down to 72 F! How, I ask HOW,
can anyone be expected to swim and frolic in such icy cold waters? It's
back up to 92 F water temp, but I tell ya: it was a rough week!

I had also gotten back on my mountain bike a few weeks before she arrived.
I think last post I alluded to a wee bit of a crash... Cracked rib, bruised
knee, sore shoulder. But really, nothing serious. Just enough to keep my
lazy ass off a bike for a bit. I'll be going out tomorrow morning for a
ride for the first time since; it'll be on the road bike so I'm sure I'll
have some great road rash to tell you about soon.

Got some great bird pics and also some good koala shots to show you, but
that'll have to wait till I get a chance to sort them. In the meantime, how's
about a couple of emu pics? An emu is a large, flightless bird native to
the Antipodes (that's a fancy word for New Holland)!






As you can see, they are rather large.

Oh, I got some more injuries: a jammed wrist and a skinned knee. I was
showing Anna how to bowl and bat in the nets at the local playground. The
game is cricket and it's way too complex to tell you about. She did pretty
good with the bowling, and the batting wasn't too bad either. One time I
decided to really let one rip (which she said she didn't even see as it
zoomed past her ankle and into the stumps). My follow through wasn't quite
as good as Brett Lee's... In fact, it sucked! Hence the jammed wrist and
skinned knee as I went cart-wheeling down the concrete pitch.

Did the above paragraph confuse all you folks up north? Well, it was kinda
the idea :)

I got a new set of chess pieces while she was down here: a set of winged
fairy figurines. Now I have the dragons playing against the fairies! They
are on my own chess table that I made, so I guess I'll have to take pics
of it and write a post about how awesomely handy I am. Although I didn't
use duct tape, it still came out pretty darned good so tune in soon for
handyman's corner.

Let's all give Jill a cheer in her upcoming race: winter mtb through 350
miles of Alaskan wilderness. Jill: I'll think of you every time I jump in
the pool.

Gotta run, naps to take and laps to swim.

Overheard at the Possum House

For those of you (k)newbies, check out why I changed the name from the Clan House to the Possum House right here.

YT stands for yours truly (that's me, BTW), and BIL stands for brother-in-law:

YT coming in the side patio door, "Ahhh, no better way to waste a morning *edit* than *edit* with drills, screwdrivers, sledgehammer, and duct tape."

BIL "Oh, are you doing watch repair?"

BIL "Or perhaps practicing for brain surgery?"

...

BIL "So what are you working on this time?"

YT "Oh, just fixing the door jam and lock on the side gate."

BIL "Sounds like you've got the right tools, carry on."

*edit* my high school english teacher used to live right across the street... I'm hanging my grammatically challenged head in shame...

A Day In The Life --and then some

We'll be starting with a wee brief (oooohhhhh --wee briefs!!!!) conversation betwixt yours truly and wifey-poo.

YT: Hon, when do you want to go grocery shopping today?

WP: Oh, whenever you want to dear. But you'll definitely be driving cus my eyes are so fried from staring at the computer screen all morning that I can't even see the clocks on the wall in front of me, let alone you.

YT: *dave starts waving arms frantically*

WP: Now I see a blob waving his arms around.

YT: *dave starts dancing a jig*

WP: Now I see a blurry foggy bump trying to imitate someone who can dance.

YT: *dave turns around does something disgusting*

WP: Now I see a disgusting white blob mooning me.


Ahhhh, life at the Possum Lodge Down Under! Ain't it great? BTW: I REALLY did moon my wife!


Next Topic:

I haven't been in the pool for 3 days... waah! But I will be in it this afternoon. It's not cus the pool has been cold (32 C right now --that's 90 F for those of you who can't convert the temp in your head), but I've been giving my skin a bit of a rest as it's been decades since I've spent time in a chlorinated pool --I used to LIVE in the Dimond High swimming pool as a wee tyke.


Next Topic:

The barbecued kangaroo burgers last night were fabulous. In fact, I made enough of them so that we can have them for lunch today --slurp!


Next Topic:

I can sleep anywhere, anytime, for any length of time. It's a gift. I'm very good at sleeping. NOTE: This is sorta like a kind of literary (does that mean a learned person who litters?) doo-hickey called foreshadowing.

Yo! I am HANDY!

"Remember, if the women don't find you handsome, at least they'll find you handy."

Truer words were never spoken by a grey-haired, short, flannel-clad, slightly beer-bellied, and very funny Canuck.

Fortunately, I am not grey-haired, nor short, but I do wear flannel, and am non-beer-bellied, and I make my wife laugh, Alaskan-Aussie bloke.

Yes, I am handsome and handy --he says with a certain modest smugness. BTW grammar is knot won uf myy strongue pointses.

Remember when I made the pool cover out of tarps, bubble wrap and duct tape? Well, I have now fixed the roof.

No, I didn't use duct tape (but I was tempted). See, we had some rain; the first in a long time. And the roof was leaking in a couple of spots. So I actually found the stupid nails that were loose, replaced them with roofing Tek screws and sealed them with silicone goop.

The hard part was getting the nails out cus they were under the tubes for the solar heater that heats the pool. Did I mention we have a pool? As it was, it still didn't take any time at all, and was a good excuse to blow off an afternoon.

Here is another Handyman's Secret Weapon:



Notice, please, the fact it 24 V, not a wussie 12 or 14. Variable torque, variable speed, came with a boatload of drill bit, sockets, screw heads, etc. Also came with a SPARE battery and a rapid charger so you're never out of juice. Keyless chuck of course, and an LED light that shines on the drill head for when it's dark. The 8 mm socket was perfect for the roofing Tek screws, very handy. For those of you in the US, GMC stands for Global Machine Company and they make very good stuff (my leaf blower/vac is GMC too).

Oh, yeah, it also looks really really cool --sorta like you'd expect it to shoot a laser beam type cool!

I was going to put a scalloped potato recipe here, but I've uploaded it to my new(ish) cooking blog instead. So be sure to check out

Dingo Dave's Delightfully Daring Delicacies

Oh, I'll get the real story of what happened in the canoe up soon.

Wee-Hooie!!!!

It works!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My thermally insulated pool cover made with tarps, bubble wrap and Duct Tape (The Handyman's Secret Weapon) really works!!!!!!!!!!!

The shade temp right now at 1:30 pm (1330 for some of y'all) is 23 C (73.5 F) and the water temp in The Pool is 27 C (80.6 F) and bound to get warmer! Ya wanna know why? Well, cus this pool is Solar Heated! Ha! I'll explain how it works next post.

The above is best read with Harold's voice echoing through your head...

Now then:

Dingo Dave's Delightfully Daring, Delicious Delicacies is coming soon to a computer near you (and me).  Stay tuned for all relevant info, and some (lots of) non-relevant info.

I've been very busy this week preparing for our First Annual Halloween Pool Party. Y'all are invited; snags, bangers, chops, and chooks will abound. Just BYOB, eh?

Gotta run, gots a pool to vacuum :)

more soon,

dave

Update:

The pool temp is now 28 C (82.4 F) so it should be very very nice for tomorrow. Gotta run, loads of cleaning and cooking to do...

The Midnight Prowler

No, this isn't a story of my Cat (The Fanged Terror, His Royal Highness, Prince Bagheera, Blackness Personified, Lord And Master Of All He Surveys, otherwise known as Dipshit). This is the story of what you hear on your roof and on your upper deck in the wee hours of the morning...

The story starts with Dave (that's me) being woken...

Oh, wait: WP stands for "Wifey-Poo", otherwise known as "The Most Wonderful Woman In The Entire World"; just so ya know.


4:30 am

WP "There's something on the roof."

WP "Psst, wake up. There's someone on the roof."

WP then kicks and elbows YT (yours truly, that's me).

YT "huuuhhhh, wwwhhaaa... yessssh dear... whatever you'd like..."


4:31 am

WP "I've been listening to something on the roof and the deck for a while!"

YT "... huuunnnhhhh..."

WP "Something's on the ROOF!"

YT "Ummmm, I'm not hearing anything..."

WP "Wait, you'll hear it... It sounds like feet scampering around on the deck, SHHHH!"

YT "Yes dear..."


4:40 am

YT "I'm not hearing anything... The wind is blowing and it's probably just a branch on the gutters."

WP "I KNOW what a branch sounds like! This was the sound of feet pattering about on the roof and thumping on the deck!"

--Sudden sound of CLAWS scrambling up and along the roof... pitter-patter of feet above our heads--


4:40:30 am

YT "Honey, there's something on the roof."

WP "I KNOW!"

YT "I'm sure it's just a possum."

WP "But it could be a prowler."


4:41 am

--THUMP onto the upper deck, sound of feet scampering across the deck two feet from us--

YT "Yup, that's a four-footed critter, 10 to 20 pounds. Either a possum or a cat."

WP "Are you sure?"

YT "Do I sound that dainty when I'm on the roof cleaning the gutters?"

WP "No."

YT "So, it's not a prowler, right?"

WP "Riiiiggghhhtttt..."


4:42 am

--CLAWS scramble up the drainpipe right outside our heads, and a shadow flits outside of a window along the upper roof slates--

YT "See, just a possum, I just saw it."

WP "whimper..."

YT "Cute little bugger too."

WP "ummmmm..."


4:42:30 am

--claws and feet skimper along the roof over our heads--

YT "It's just a possum, go back to sleep."

WP "..."

YT "Look, there he is! Right outside the other window on the roof-beam."


4:43 am

--YT peels back sheets from over WPs head--

YT "See, it's just a possum. I see the arched back, the possum nose, and the foofy (oh good god, I actually SAID that word!!!!) tail."

WP "Awwww, he's cute. Look, honey! A cute ring-tail possum on our rooftop."

YT "Snore."


So, the moral to this story is... Ahhh, there isn't one.

Anyways, the new name of the clan house is "The Possum Lodge" With all due respects to Red Green, of course.