Friday, April 02, 2010

Alien Abduction Act X... Zombie dave Aboard The A.S.S.!

Butt before we get to that, I have some things I need to get off my chest --like this tattoo that says "I love you, man!".

Y'all 'member last post? Oh, c'mon, the one where I used lots of swear words and was all pissy.

Ah yes, you do remember. Good.

I have been hoping that someone, anyone, would comment about it. Butt no, not a single one of you did. Did any of you try to tell me to lighten up? No. Did any of you offer a shoulder to cry on? No. Did I lose/gain any readers? Nope, not a chance --well, I may have lost some.

Did anyone realize it was one big, bloody joke???????? Not just No, butt HELL NO!

Witch brings me to my next thingy-doo-dad that I was tagged with a while back (just trawl through the last 10 posts or so and you'll figure it out): Just Another Thing You Won't Learn About Me By Reading This Blog!

I'm a nice guy.

Really, I am.

No, seriously! I am!

When BIL (shall we just call him "Mike"?) got his Masters degree just who do you think had the video recorder set up on the tripod so that MIL (shall we just call her "mum"?) could see her youngest obtain serious accolades? Yup, Yours Truly (that's me, don't swoon ladies as I'm human) was not only doing the duties but he also took Mike to a celebratory lunch at a high-class pub afterwards.

Every week I do a mechanical once-over of mum's wheelchair.

Wifey-Poo gets massages whenever she needs them.

I give rides to strangers. Yes, I really do. There was one time when I was dropping off WP and mum at the doctors office when a very lost Nigerian gentlemen asked me for directions to a side street in the area. Once I made sure that WP and mum were fine I tried to direct him to the street in question. I could see that he was not going to be able to find his way so I gave him a lift to not only the street but to the house where he needed to go.

I also fetch items off of high shelves in the grocery store for little old ladies and gentlemen. In fact it has sorta become a habit that when I see someone elderly stopped in the aisle looking up that I do ask if they need anything from up high. 9 times out of 10 they do.

I took Mike grave-robbing so many times for the research of his PHD that I still respond to calls of, "Hey, Igor!"

The last time we moved house it took A LOT of trips in a rental truck. Guess who did the driving and moving without too much bitching? Yup, Yours Truly.

I've stayed up all night for a week keeping an eye on mum when she was going through a "bad patch".

I've rescued orphaned, baby mouses.

And if any of you ever decide to come down for a visit I can promise that you'll have a place to crash at, be fed gourmet meals (unless I'm cooking --I JOKE!), hang out in the pool, have loads of good home brew, and I'll even pick you up from the airport --or the beach if you came by boat.

So do ANY of you really think that I was really swearing and bitching like that in the last post?


Next topic...

Pretty birdy picture! I'm sure all my regular readers will immediately recognize this bloke...
long billed corella cockatoo
Those are some really, seriously, cool-looking claws!


As my regulars will also know, I like playing around with 3d programs. Been doing that for almost ten years now. I am, however, still trying to get good glacial ice with, ahhhhh, inexpensive (free) programs. But I do have sunset colours down quite well as the beach faces westward here and we are about a mile from it.

What do you think of this?
awesome cloudscape

Here's a contest for you:

Did dave, Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human), make this sunset in 3d? Or did he actually take this photograph? Or did he shamelessly steal the image from an online source?

The first correct answer in the comment section wins something. Don't know what but I'm sure the winner and I will come to some sort of arrangement.

And now what you've all been waiting for...

Alien Abduction Act X My arrival onboard the A.S.S.!!!!!!!

Just a quickie recap for you, the name of the alien craft is A.S.S. which, of course, stands for Alien Space Ship. Well, what else could it mean? Perverts. And remember that the rego of the A.S.S. is C4P-PFP2012 and in my zombie state at the time I had no idea what that meant.

C'mon, as any zombie I was just wanting to eat some brains!

In case you have joined me late, here's a quick pic recap!

into orbit

chinese spy satellite photo

Which, of course, brings us to my stealthy arrival in a corridor of the A.S.S. This was just before I materialized --please note the A.S.S. is parked above Oceania!
empty corridor

And then there's a bright flash!
big flash

And I slowly start to materialize...
me arrival_01
Hmmmmm, something appears to be slightly wrong with dave...

me arrival_02

Yes folks, my smashing of the pyramid atop my house with my lightning-charged sledgehammer whilst in my zombie state had caused the alien transporter beam to become totally discombobulated! It had somehow taken my awesome brainpower and shoved it into my muscles!

And just what type of aliens would I find aboard the A.S.S. rego'd as C4P-PFP2012? And would there be any brains at all for me to eat?

Those 2 questions (and probably lots more) just might be answered soon so STAY TUNED to this channel!


Frances said...


Real photo

Nice Birdie.

A Dave soaring with thunderbolts =cool.

Anonymous said...

Dave, you are a gentleman and a scholar. And hey, eventually I may take you up on your offer hehe.

Anonymous said...

Hey Dave, Just so you know, I am a regular reader, I just don't comment much...sorry.
I was having a super bad day the when I read your rantin' and raving post and I almost fell off my chair from laughing so hard- which made my day not so bad after all.
My guess is 3d.
Keep up the good work remember you are helping make someone's day a little brighter and less stressful.

la isla d'lisa said...

Aw, dude ... I laughed when I read that post. A LOT. And then I was all, "Now why haven't I thought of that?" Much better than the full-on expletives I've been known to drop over on my isle - so thanks! And I think you made the picture; and the big ole eye in the middle is a tad creepy ... was it intentional? It's like you were channeling Uncle Stevie's the Stand or something.

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

WP: Oh c'mon, you know I'm not that good with terragen yet. I could probably make it in terragen 2, but not in the basic one.

Frances: Yup, real photo. Taken right in the backyard and I did NOTHING to the picture in the computer except resize it. Didn't even crop it.

The long-billed corellas are pretty neat.

It's fun to soar through the sky w/ lightning. You should try it sometime!

Sciencebloke: Hey! You take that back! Harumph... scholar and gentleman indeed! And the offer stands.

Chester: I shall now make it my mission in life to keep you entertained when you are having a bad day, no worries. Glad you found it funny :)

la isla d'lisa: Gee, you and Chester have a sense of humor like mine... SCARY! I originally had all the swear words in, then I changed the swear words so folks would hopefully know I was joking. And then I deleted a bunch more vowels just cus I felt like it. Yeah, it worked, but I sure didn't plan it.

Hmmmmm, never noticed eyes in the shot... now I really wish I had made it! Alas, I'm not that good --yet.