Monday, February 08, 2010

Alien Abduction Act V The Taming of The Shrewd!

I know, I know. I can hear you all starting to snore! Don't worry, I'll be getting up to the alien spaceship soon and then eating alien brains --remember, I'm still an undead, lightning-zapped, crazed, sledgehammer-wielding zombie at this point in the story.

I swear it's true. *wink*

Wifey-Poo had decided that I may be of some help around the house now that I was a zombie and didn't have much of a will of my own. She first, however, had to calm me down a bit...

***********breaker, breaker!!!!**************

3 of you are trying to find the koala from last post (probably only cuz I'm giving away ten dollars) and so far you are all way off. So here's a hint: Try looking for THIS bloke!
hidden koala



I'm also going to let you know that at the end of this post I have an actual picture of Sarah Palin flaunting her wares to distract everyone around so they won't notice her crapping on others! Don't scroll down and cheat!

***********back to the story****************

At first wifey-poo was a little nervous about getting me calmed down as all I was doing was standing out in the backyard yelling and waving my trusty sledgehammer around. And the residual lightning that had animated my drowned corpse was still coursing through both me and the sledgehammer.

See what I mean:
more zombie dave02b

more zombie dave01a



Not exactly a sight WP wanted to wake up to each morning...
more zombie dave03a



Fortunately it was only my shirt being ripped to shreds...
more zombie dave04a



Eventually I calmed down when Wifey-Poo assured me that since there are so many birds around I'll have no problem finding plenty of brains to feed upon --this explains why I'm a birdbrain now, eh?

So here I am all mellowed out and ready to help around the house!
more zombie dave05a



Coming up next: Zombie dave helps around the house! With a sledge-hammer.

**************************************************************************

We're still in our hot summer months down here. Today wasn't too bad, 101 F in the shade and 127 F in the sun. Pool water was at 86 F so after watching the 'Aints win the Super Bowl I relaxed in the pool.

But you don't get a picture of that. Mainly cuz I wasn't doing anything silly or stupid in the pool so I figured y'all wouldn't be interested. BTW, how's winter going for everyone up in that other hemisphere?

Getting a lot of tomatoes. Last count was 1,134 harvested! Here's a pic of bunch of nice, juicy, creamy, hot-off-the-vine, yellow tomatoes.
yellow tomatoes
Next year we're putting in 2 or 3 yellow 'mata plants!

upsidedown cockatoo
Oi mate! If you take this picture I'm gonna fly over there, claw your eyes out and shove that camera somewhere BAD!

Hmmmmm, guess that explains why I can't see today and am walking funny...

And now... the picture you've all really been waiting for: An actual photograph taken by Yours Truly (don't swoon ladies, I'm human) of Sarah Palin flaunting herself shamelessly in front of her admirers in the hopes that none of them notice her crapping on anyone she doesn't like!

Ready?

Of

course

you

are.

galah wingspread

I guess that little sparrow down below on the bricks didn't kiss her ass enough!

6 comments:

scienceguy288 said...

Nice censor with the lightning! No wardrobe malfunction here!

chester said...

Hi Dave

Email sent.
Thanks

RunninL8 said...

Good Lawd, you are wacky!!!!! that broad DOES look like a parrot!
As soon as your page finishes loading I shall peruse this alien malarky!
And SURE! If you have some good back excersises, do send! I think I've tried them all but you never know! Ya know what I've been into latley?! Spinning PoI!!!!

Titanium said...

Can't you take Parrot-Palin away on an alien space ship? Pretty please?

(Polly wanna Palin, anybody?)

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

sciencebloke: And I was thinking someone would comment on my lightning boogers... darn.

Chester: Got the email. Nope. Keep trying mate, no worries. Lemme know your monitor size so I can get those wallpapers to you.

RunninL8: Good Lawd, you are wacky!!!!! You expect me to believe that you are just now realising that? Yeah, right.
Spinning Poi, as in the Maori Spinning Poi?
I've got the scans for you, I'll drop you a line momentarily, no worries.

Titanium: I think that is the wish of every rational, thinking person.

Titanium said...

More so than ever, as of this week... dear god.

Sorry I've been slackin' on my reading; this week has been grim. I'm back, though.