I do believe that some of you were expecting the next episode of my TOTALLY TRUE Alien Abduction story --the writing of which I had absolutely ZERO help from any ghostwriters-- but I really do knead a bit more time for the next few episodes.
Why? Well, see, I, ummmm, kinda, sorta like, DIDN'T have a camera on the alien spaceship! Thus far I've been uploading true, non-photoshopped and non-digitally enhanced pics cus Wifey-Poo (The Most Wonderful Woman In The Entire World) took them with the camera.
However, in order to bring my adventures aboard the Evil Alien Spaceship to life for my readers, I need pictures. That's cus all you young'uns are of the telly generation so words just won't cut it for ya. This means I'm trying (desperately before I forget) to recollect from the depths of my subconscious (scary place, you should hear about my dreams sometime) just what went on while I was an undead, brain-eating, lightning-charged sledgehammer wielding, zombie on board the alien spaceship.
Needless to say (much less write) this involves 3 different 3d programs, 2 rendering engines, and 2 imaging programs. I shall say that you will be blown away by the images of me running amok on the alien spaceship, smashing their heads in, and devouring their brains.
Those images, however, do take, of course, some time. So be patient. Or don't. Your choice.
Why is it taking so long? Cus my newborn hybrid cross betwixt Yours Truly and the Evil Alien Queen has just hatched! More about this will be at the end of today's post.
But in the meantime feel free to catchup with story!
Another reason is that some anonymous blogger who shall remain unnamed has tagged me. And I must say she --Oops! I mean, uh, iT-- must have some really long arms to tag me all the way down here. I am supposed to list 7 (seven) things about me that you couldn't learn from perusing my blog. AND I have to be honest!
I've never been what you might call "normal" so I'm not going to list the 7 things all at once. I'll be peppering them into posts whenever I feel like it or whenever I think I can get away with making shit up about me.
And I won't be passing this tag along. Cus I've never been a tagalong! Ha! Funny.
The First Thing About Me That You Won't Yet Have Learned From Reading This Blog: When I left Fairbanks to venture to the land of Oz, not one single person I knew in Squarebanks felt the need to give me a going away party. Nope, not one. No one from work, no one from UAF, no one from the fencing club. Nadda. Zip.
For some reason I seem to have a gift --no ladies, this is not the gift about me being able to lick my eyebrows--, and this gift takes the form of my being able to make a funny caption or humorous story from seeing ANY picture.
Really! I can. Take this one for example:
When I first saw the picture that I had tooken, I thought about a cat playing a flute. But then I realised he was first chomping holes in the reed in order to be able to play it. See? Easy stuff.
Another example is when I saw the header picture on some particular unnamed female's blog and you'll note I've gone to great pains to shield her identity by scribbling out the name of the blog:
What was my first thought upon seeing this picture you might ask?
Secret message from sacro-lumbar region to cervical vertebrae region: If the stupid brain tells the arms to load ANOTHER one of these boulders into the backpack then I'm going on strike! Are you with me?
Reply: Done and DONE!
Isn't it easy? Ok, here is one for you to try:
Give it a go mates! You'll never know what funny twaddle can spew forth from your brain if you never give it a chance. Just use the comments, no worries.
Another topic change...
Can you stand just one more "spot the damned koala" contest? Oh you can! Goody! In that case I'll post a picture down below and ANYONE who can tell me approximately where in the photograph the koala is will win a wallpaper of any of my pictures! Just make sure you tell me your screen size in pixels and what picture (or type of picture) you'd like when you send in your comment with the whereabouts of the koala.
Are you ready?
Newsflash!!!!!! The cat --Lord And Master Of All He Surveys, Protector Of The Weak, Lord Of The Rift, Defender Of The Faithful, CEO Of The Secret Cat Society, Godfather To The Godfather, Prince Bagheera-- really doesn't care too much about this contest:
Breaking news! I've found out that winter is still hanging around Squarebanks. Therefore I shall NOT be posting any pictures like this one about how bloody cold it is down in Oz:
And this brings me to my new hatchling...
Oops, I've just noticed that when I write long posts I don't get many comments so I'd better save the story about the spawn of the cross betwixt Yours Truly and the Evil Alien Leader till another post.