Monday, December 01, 2008

Alien Aerial Armada Attempts Atomic Airborne Assault Against Adelaide Arboretum

1st Dec, 2008 by The AAA (Authentic Amateur Antipodean) News Service a subsidiary of the Weekly World News

South Australian plantologists awoke this morning to a scene of utter horror. During the night alien UFO's beheaded an entire population at a local arboretum. Some witnesses described the aliens as "two-headed Elvis clones." This reporter is skeptical of those accounts as we all know the alien Elvis clones have 3 heads.

The following photos show the gruesomeness of the killing spree. Please ask your small children to leave the room. These pictures were taken before a forensic team arrived and were photographed as they were found.



The severed heads were eventually found on what appears to be some type of sacrificial table.


"Well, we are obviously dealing with some sort of demonic creature capable of cold-blooded acts of malice." According to Bill McAllister.

Speaking anonymously and off the record, Bill McAllister said, "Gosh, I didn't even know that Sarah knew there was anything south of the equator. Is that where all the dinosaurs went after the flood?"

Local detective Tom Baker has some astute observations, "If you'll notice that the severed heads were not only brought up to their sacrificial table, which of course indicates great claw strength, you'll also note the interesting pattern of gouges in the heads; presumably from some kind of gigantic beak."


AAA has just found a local amateur (very amateur) photographer who happened to get a few fuzzy pictures of the aliens. He prefers to remain anonymous as he claims to have been abducted by feathered aliens many times and subjected to various sexual experiments.

The local crackpot continued blabbering on about an alien invasion while cleaning his pool, but here's the blurry photos he claims to have taken during the latest alien incursion.

blurry cockatoo01
blurry cockatoo02
blurry cockatoo

This news of alien invaders has all the locals in complete pandemonium:
parrot fight01

parrot fight03

dark knight

When pressed for an interview or comment, the Australian Prime Minister appeared to be channeling a witch hunter from the arctic regions as he replied, "Hee, hee! Off with his head!"
alien leader


Fizzgig said...

what the heck is that thing?

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

It's the severed head of one of my sunflower plants. The bastard cockatoos shredded them all! All 8 were snipped off 10 to 12 inches from the base, the tops were then snipped off, and the bastards made off with all the heads. This head they fly up to the feeder with it and shredded it there. You can see the big scallop marks around the edges from their beaks.

Impressive buggas, eh?

Karen Travels said...


Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

Karen: If I make one person smile or laugh then I consider this day well spent :)

Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
That's why a bear can rest at ease
With just the bare necessities of life

Jim and Heather on Meerkat said...

Well duh. You feed them every day so they think that your backyard is now THEIR backyard.

Every day you post is a day well spent. I don't think there has ever been a post you have done that hasn't made me both laugh and smile. And I enjoy the bantering back and forth too! :)

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

SV Meetkat: Well, it really IS their backyard. They are just gracious enough to share it with us hairless chimps.

Marie said...

Ha, ha! Obviously the quality of that crap seed you were feeding them was noted and they took matters into their own hands. Or claws.

Lift you game, Dave. These are discerning Aussie birds.

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

Yeah, yeah. I need to get better quality seeds for the noisy buggas.