1st Dec, 2008 by The AAA (Authentic Amateur Antipodean) News Service a subsidiary of the Weekly World News
South Australian plantologists awoke this morning to a scene of utter horror. During the night alien UFO's beheaded an entire population at a local arboretum. Some witnesses described the aliens as "two-headed Elvis clones." This reporter is skeptical of those accounts as we all know the alien Elvis clones have 3 heads.
The following photos show the gruesomeness of the killing spree. Please ask your small children to leave the room. These pictures were taken before a forensic team arrived and were photographed as they were found.
The severed heads were eventually found on what appears to be some type of sacrificial table.
"Well, we are obviously dealing with some sort of demonic creature capable of cold-blooded acts of malice." According to Bill McAllister.
Speaking anonymously and off the record, Bill McAllister said, "Gosh, I didn't even know that Sarah knew there was anything south of the equator. Is that where all the dinosaurs went after the flood?"
Local detective Tom Baker has some astute observations, "If you'll notice that the severed heads were not only brought up to their sacrificial table, which of course indicates great claw strength, you'll also note the interesting pattern of gouges in the heads; presumably from some kind of gigantic beak."
AAA has just found a local amateur (very amateur) photographer who happened to get a few fuzzy pictures of the aliens. He prefers to remain anonymous as he claims to have been abducted by feathered aliens many times and subjected to various sexual experiments.
The local crackpot continued blabbering on about an alien invasion while cleaning his pool, but here's the blurry photos he claims to have taken during the latest alien incursion.
This news of alien invaders has all the locals in complete pandemonium:
When pressed for an interview or comment, the Australian Prime Minister appeared to be channeling a witch hunter from the arctic regions as he replied, "Hee, hee! Off with his head!"