Saturday, June 19, 2010

How to be funny...


Ha, ha! No, I joke. Although I have been told that I'm funny looking, this post is not about how to look like me --d*mn*d good thing too!

No, this post is about how to be a world famous, independently wealthy, adored by millions of young bikini-clad bimbos, humour righter! Just like Yours Truly --don't swoon ladies, I'm human.

There's several ways you can make your blog funnier:

1) Don't make lists! Cus I hate them!

Try making up a fictional story from your childhood! Now, all of mine are completely true, of course.

Lie. Except when you aren't.

Poke fun at yourself. After all, everyone loves to laugh AT you instead of WITH you.

Intenshunully missspel werdz! Phonetics kan be phun!

Throuw grammer zpellin an punchooashun write outta da winder

Don't swear goddammit. Cussing isn't funy you dumm shit.

take and post pitchers of youselv doin stupid or funny things --this one is a favourite of mine!

Use sillie captions on pictures. Especially critter pitchers since we all luv to anthropomorphosise critters --Ummmmm, that does mean to be amorous with critters, doesn't it?

Make up knew werds! See whose smart enuff to figure em owt.

Don't use puns! Cuz they ain't punny 'cept to the punster. Besides, you'd faile as I iz way much beter at it then you.

2day you git some eggzampels of phuny pitcher capshuningness!

passed out cat
Ohhhh, ai shouldn't haz had da third pitcher uf catnip margaritas...

keeping an eye out
Arrrrr! Look lively ya bilge rats! And keep a weather eye out for the never-empty bag of sunflower seeds, arrrrrrr mateys!

don't look down
Oh Cr*p! Momma always warned me not to look down!

busy bee
In a victory for evolution, certain subspecies of Australian Honey Bees have developed an immunity to the deadly, paralyzing, toxic sting of the dangerous, lethal and venomous Australian Tree Anemone.


Frances said...

Picture #1: I think there's is a sip or two left in the pitcha ... move legs ... move... pleeeese
Picture #2: All together, girls ... that includes you, Harvey.
Picture #3:Lalalala ...lalalalala, Drinkies Time.
Picture #4: Will you stop fidgeting ... or the parade will start without you.

Fizzgig said...

i loooove the bee photo bzzzzzzzzzz!

Michele said...

What is the flower that the bee is on? It's lovely.

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

Frances: Those are great!

Fizzgig: buzzz, buzzzzzz.

Michele: That's a tiny blossom of a gum (Eucalyptus) tree. They are very small and they make "gum nuts". The gum nuts have the smell of an old, rancid tomcat with kidney probs. Some North Americans think of skunk smell; not the blossoms, but the gum nuts when they fall. And the rainbow lorikeets love the nectar from the blossoms too.

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

Michele: And I still think that in extreme closeup they look like anenomies!

Jim and Heather on Meerkat said...

1) Cool flowers.
2) I like your cat.
3) You are insane.
4) Did I mention that you are insane?
5) Guess what my word verification was?
6) Nope, guess again.
7) Nope.
8) "jokerk"
9) Fitting huh?
10) You are still insane.
11) ;)

Anonymous said...