Thursday, August 26, 2010

Step Right Up and ALL Your Questions Will Be Answered!

Yes indeedy all you little ladies! Just step right up to the Imaginarium of Doctor Dave and all your answers will be questioned!

or something like that

Can anyone guess what film we watched last night? Anyone? Just leave a comment. HINT: It really plumm-s the depp-ths...


Butt I do have two answers for you --don't swoon ladies, I'm human-- instead of only the one you may or may not have been expectorating.

Firstly: why my but was sore and bruised. It has to do with my back. And pressure points. Yes, I had a visit to my chiro a week before my birthday. Wee-Hoo!!!! Happy Birthday to me; here dave, go ahead and treat yourself to a sore ass!

Butt no, it really did help. She had to do some serious work on the pressure points of my right glute with her elbow in order to get the swelling and pain to go away. It worked! She really is amazing, dontcha know. Heck, I can even go in for stuffed sinuses and a few deftly applied thumbs to the top of my neck and all the sinus pressure is GONE.

Alice is cool. Ummmmm, that's Dr Lay actually.

Much better than modern drugs. Butt that's just me.

*********************************************************************

Next answer: My age.

It's sorta kinda like gettin' up there. *wink*

In fact, I am now 2.659009203 *10 ^ 53 planck time units old, and my back with its 4 compressed vertebrae, off-kilter pelvis, off-kilter shoulders, and twisted neck vertebrae feel EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of those planck time units.

I suspect that 3 (three) of my readers can figure out my age. The rest of you can go bugga off mates!

Ha-rumph.


**************************************************************************

It's been a while since I've put up some pictures of Australian wildlife. I shall fix that problem.

I think this lorikeet had it's neck lock. I can relate.
sore necked lorikeet
Dude, just give Alice a ring! She'll fix it!

It's quite common for Aussie ladies going au natural to ask me if I think their butt is too big. Here's proof.
does my butt look fat
Ooooh dave, does my butt look too big?

Wouldn't you just hate to wake up with this bloke staring at you?
huntsman spider



The other day I noticed this critter. Not sure whether it's an ant pretending to be a spider or a spider pretending to be an ant. Either way, I wasn't gonna get any closer!
weird spider
Judging by the eyes, I'm guessing spider.

There's a koala asleep here somewhere...
find the koala



Oh, why look! Here it is:
sleeping koala



This flying bloke picked just the COOLEST LOOKING plant to hang out on!
one cool butterfly



Just now many cats can YOU find in this picture?
artsy fartsy



As always just leave your guesses in the comments to anything I may or may not have mentioned, no worries mates.

One last thing... As I'm sure you have all already sent birthday presents/offerings to me (don't swoon ladies, I'm human) I have, most regrettably, yet to receive any of them. Therefore I've decided that all the birthday pressies I receive from you, my loyal readers, shall be put under the tree for Christmas.

Just remembered!

A conversation with Wifey-Poo!

Just a reminder, WP is Wifey-Poo, otherwise known as The Most Wonderful Woman In The Entire World, and YT is Yours Truly --don't swoon ladies, I'm human.

*YT walks into mission control (the 'puter room) carrying his best steel wok*

YT: Honey?

WP: Yes dear? *crap, what does that idiot want now?*

YT: I need to check my tags. Do you know where they are?

WP: ??????????? *????????????????*

YT: You know, my hunting tags.

WP: I'm totally clueless with this one. *can't he EVER let me work without some dumbass conversation?*

YT: I just need to make sure it's the right time of year for this.

WP: For what?

YT: Well, I need to season the wok!

WP: *SOB*


********************************************************************

And on a final note... If none of you ask where I got or why I use the fraze "don't swoon ladies, I'm human" then I'm just gonna... ummmm, errrrrr, KEEP USING IT!

So there.

10 comments:

Riago7 said...

Happy Birthday, Dave! Is it today, or August 28th?

Hope your poor abused body feels better soon. Love the critter pics! Okay,so where does the phrase "don't swoon ladies, I'm human" come from?

Also in your archives, I saw the beautifully unique chess board you made. The Angels and Dragons are simply Awesome!

Enjoy your day!
Linda

Riago7 said...

Oops, those are Fairies with the Dragons, not Angels! Delightful for sure...

Linda

sciencedude288 said...

Alrighty:

Movie: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus?

Age: I think you are off by a power of 10 on your birthday, otherwise, you are nearing Methuselah. At any rate, happy birthday you old grump. Are you yelling at kids to get off your lawn yet?

Wildlife: Ah, I have been missing this! That spidey is quite frightening, much worse than our tarantula.

YT: So why do you use, "don't swoon ladies, I'm human."

TwoYaks said...

Wow, you're over 400? I think you've got a problem with your exponents there. :)

I bet Sir Mixalot was talking about Kangaroos when he wrote "Baby Got Back." What else could he be writing about?

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

To all: I figured I'd better put some critter pics up since that's how most folks find the blog.

And I'm very glad some of you have finally asked about the phrase "don't swoon ladies, I'm human" cus now I get to blog about it!


Linda: It is Saturday the 28th and I've already bought all the tequila needed.
Glad you like the archives! I occasionally glance through them to find out if I've already written something I just thought about.
I had a lot of fun making the chess table and I'm very pleased with how it turned out. Picking out the dragons, faeries, and monks (not pictured) was interesting as they aren't "Chess Set Pieces". Went to a shop that sells figurines of different types and spread them out on the counter figuring out the best ones for each piece. The shop gave me a huge discount and they were also impressed with the chess table when I told them about it. Nice way to blow off a week in the garage, that's for sure.

ScienceBloke(z(2^8)+z(2^5))/z: Correct movie.
I blame sobriety for my lack of calculashunal skillz. And you damned kids stay outta my pool!
Fortunately, the huntsman was dead.

Twoyaks: I blame sobriety for my lack of calculashunal skillz. Although I do sometimes feel as old and decrepit as half a millenia.
Who is Sir Mixalot? Your local bartender?

TwoYaks said...

No, my bartenders would be Matt, Dick or Pam. ;) Look up Sir Mix-a-lot some time. He wrote that song about liking big butts, what, 20 years ago? Something like that.

la isla d'lisa said...

he likes. big. butts.
and-he-cannot-lie.
those-other-fellas-can-deny ... Sir Mixalot.

if I say "hate! hate! vomit!" am i off the hook for the whole swoonage issue? i draw comparison to archie bunker.

la isla d'lisa said...

Oh! And HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY!!

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

la isla d'lisa: And how does one such as yourself know about Mister Ted Bullpit????????

How was your day?

Your answer should be...

flying fish said...

Hey Dave, what's your address so I can send you some of the blueberry jam? Oh and what should I mark it on the customs card so it can get through?