Yes, this year I've been told to keep Dave's Annual Super-Awesome Holiday Feast down to a more, shall we say, reasonable level than in years' gone by.
So to help with that, I've started making tofu.
Yes, tofu.
Turns out it's very quick and easy to make! Very cheap too AND you get a big batch of okara leftover to make things like fake burgers, fake roasts, fake pork, fake roast chook... well, you get the idea.
And then there's all the neat things you can do with tofu! Marinate it, smoke it, grill it, stuff it, feed it to someone you don't like... See? There's so much you can do with just some plain soy beans and magnesium chloride!
In fact, I have decided that this years' feast will be meat free and all the meat dishes will be made with my own homemade tofu!
Bullshit.
But I have started making tofu. It will, however, of course, have practically NOTHING to do with any of the food this holiday season.
Many of you may be familiar with my previous menus, many of you may not. Just keep in mind that all but a few dishes on the menu are homemade. By me.
And the pots and pans are home cleaned. By me.
Yes, it's amazing what I go through, sigh...
Oh, if you want to learn how to make any of these, then just lemme know and hopefully one of these recipes will appear (like magic!) on my food blog.
And don't worry, there'll be a funny pic of dave at the end of all this, so please read. And keep in mind that this is meant to be spaced out over 3 weeks. And it's in no particular order. And no food is wasted.
And.
Here.
We.
GO!
holiday feast 2009
stout beer n brats w onions
homemade pizzas
peanut butter cheesecake w/ hot fudge sauce --I've been told if I don't make this each year then I'd better sleep with one eye open.
3 sushi platters
homemade chocolates
homemade tofu, marinated, smoked, grilled, etc.
roast chook w/ all the fixins
baked pumpkin
roasted pumpkin seeds --from the above pumpkin
toasted chilli n garlic almonds & peanuts
pork roast wrapped in banana leaves and slow roasted with polynesian
seasonings.
highland oat cakes
apples n bleu cheese
various homemade cheeses
1 xmas fruitcake
1 xmas pudding
pineapple & maple syrup glazed ham
candied sweet potatoes
fried worms
cinnamon raisin bread
many loaves of white and wholemeal bread
grilled basa fillets
many servings of my extra special chips (thick fries)
advokaat cheesecake
1 bottle of advokaat for above cheesecake
lots of homebrews; stout, lager, dark ale, regular ale, chilli beer, etc.
garden greens salads
marinated fish & onion & cucumber salad
4 kilos of sausage --if we have a pool party
onions for above sausage
1 apricot cobbler
mexican buffet with all the fixin's
champagne n strawberries
green beans n red capsicums w/ bacon & peanut sauce
panforte --awesomely great xmas cake
souvlaki chicken w/ tabouli & tzatziki
devonshire cream tea
pineapple sherbet
pineapple topping
pineapple tarts
pineapple coconut pie
banana jam
charlotte rouse
O'Leary's Irish Cream
brandy
cask of red wine
cask of white wine
shortbread
hot fudge sauce
waldorf salad
herbed, baked spuds
hummus
whipped cream stuffed crepes w/ dark chocolate sauce
*UPDATE!*
How could I forget my Polynesian Hibiscus Water?
*END UPDATE*
See? I've kept it simple this year! Harumph.
And now for a bit of foreshadowing...
I'm quite sure many questions leap to mind.
"Why is the ladder in the pool?"
"Does dave know about elektrikery and water?"
"Is there a happy ending? Cus I hate sad endings, but in dave's case I'll make an exception."
Why don't YOU come up with your own questions for the pictures and put it in the comments?
6 comments:
Cue the old stock film reel: "Here, Dave gives us a demonstration of how Not to use power tools!"
Cue The Six Million Dollar Man music: "Gentlemen, we can rebuild [insert whatever Dave's rebuilding here]. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first [insert whatever Dave's building here]. Better than it was before. Better, stronger, faster."
(And wow, that's quite the yummy list! I'm glad you didn't put "tofurkey" on it. I must ask, what the heck is chook?)
mmmmm the pool. its gonna snow this week.
i tried tofu at a mongolian place, i mixed it w/my veggies and pasta and its kinda like, shark skin. not that ive eaten it but thats all i could think of. bleh.
Dude, you're going awfully far to turn your gutters into a beer bong ...
fried worms?
sciencebloke: Yup, that'd be right mate. After I watch a few Red Green episodes I'm always inspired to dig out the power tools and duct tape! I'm also working on my own take of "Adventures With Bill". But seriously, the Y chromosome gives us the privilege, nay the RIGHT, to use power tools! Bwuuuhahahahahah!
dragonflying: *sniffle* Ok, you figured me out... I'll go in the corner and hide now.
A chook is aussie slang for chicken.
fizzypop: I'll trade you the snow for the pool, but only for a day! Re tofu: it pics up whatever flavour you cook it in so if you only added it to a dish then it'd be pretty flavourless. My marinated, smoked tofu is to die for! Tastes like teriyaki chicken!
lisa's island: I was pretty sure you'd figure out what I was doing! Good on ya mate.
exocoetidae: Did you know there's a Flying Fish brewery in New Jersey? Now you do. Fried worms: earthworms have the highest protein content of any critter, 72%. Delicacy in China. You can also buy powdered earthworms. When using them fresh though, make sure you remove the intestine but leave all the other goodies (worm gonads are great) before frying. Here's a link to my recipe for frying worms: http://dingodavedelightfullydaringdelicacies.blogspot.com/2009/10/fried-worms.html
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