Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Hard Yakka

Me Old Fart says: "Everyone has to work." I do feel that before this goes any further at all, I should explain a term or two.

I have two (2) Old Farts... Hoo-boy, this one could get ugh-ah-lee

The ole ancient piece of cr*p (rose food) computer sitting unused on the desktop of The Most Wonderful Woman In The Entire World is always referred to as "The Old Fart". Ahh, the 'puter you morons. DON'T get me in trouble --if y'all put me in the doghouse then not only am I going to have to hang out in it, but I'm going to have to make it first. Hey! That could be cool! Jacuzzi, hot taps, cold beer fridge, dee-lucks mattress... Dang, this sounds pretty cool! Ok, off to the doghouse with me, wee-hoo.

The other term for Non-young Gaseous Disturbance is me pappy. Yes, I call my father "The Old Fart", and guess what? He likes it (but he doesn't eat his wheaties). His Harley has the license plate GREYPOWER --I think he's converted it to a trike now. When he still had his race car I was really hoping he'd name it OLD FART but that didn't happen.

As you may have guessed, the Old Fart and I get along quite well (especially since I never plug it in --whoops, wrong old fart).

He really has said, many many many many many times, "Dave, everyone has to work."

Sooo, without any further ado, here's a pic of me hard at work:

(This pic will not appear since every single time I try to upload a pic to blogger the connection time's out. In fact this in now the fourth time I've tried to upload the text version)

Dang, this hat STINKS (this caption would have made much more sense with the pic)

(This whole damn post would've made more sense with the pic).

On with a RECIPE!

This one (1) isn't food, sorry. I know y'all folks from the future who are perusing my wonderful archives would like to see another beautiful, stunning, aromatic Dave Creation (I won't mention anything about looking in the toilet), but I thought I'd do a pubic (oops) health service recipe instead.

Accchhh, it burnssss ussss

Anyone who has ever let themselves (yup, it's our own damn fault) get sunburned jump up on one leg right... about.... NOW! Whoa! Cool, the tide just turned!

In all seriousness (yeah, right, dave) there is a surefire cure for sunburn so that you don't peel, you don't hurt, and it's a nice tan colour (color). Would you like to know what it is? Awwww, you're so cute down there on your knees begging... rollover... play dead... fetch...

As much as I would like to take credit for this, I can't. The credit goes to The Most Wonderful Woman In The Entire World. Here it is:

Lightly rub in aloe vera juice. NOT aloe vera cream! The creamy concoctions are loaded with cr*p. Just the plain (plane) juice. You can get it at any health shop.

Next, rub in rosehip oil (straight outta the bottle) till your skin won't take anything up no more.

Lastly, rub on some sort of moisterizer (like Cetaphil or Sorbital) to "seal" the surface so the aloe vera and rosehip oil doesn't evaporate out.

Ahem... THAT'S IT!

I take Visa, M/C and PayPal; thank you very much.

Oh, remember: Folate daily!


Ummm, that's Folate, not Foliate

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