Thursday, March 12, 2009

When Life Gives You Lemons... Ferment Them Suckers!

I mean, come on folks! Doesn't a nice batch of lemon beer sound tasty? Oh, wait a sec... I guess I should tell you how I got on this ole here lemony kick.


It all started when I was a wee little tyke. No, not really. It all started when I was a wee lil blogga bloke from Oz. No, wait... that's not right either. It all started when the lemon tree out back was dropping so many lemons that neighbors used to come over and ask for lemons.

Yes! That's right y'all out in bloggerland: I give away free lemons to anyone who wants them! Naturally I'd expect lady karma to chime in...


Oops, sounds like lady karma just chimed!

I've just got the extremely coveted and much revered Blogger Lemonade Award! Wee-Hoo! Where's my check? Where's my chick?

Apparantly this ultra-prestigious award is bestowed upon bloggers who show --and I quote-- "great attitude or gratitude", end quote. Now everyone who knows me is darned sure that I have quite the attitude and I's ain't denyin' it!

Oh yeah, I'm supposed to put up a little lemonade stand too. Here ya go:

Ok, time to be serious...

I can't thank the selfless folks who give their time, their money, themselves (and sometimes their lives) to help people or critters in need. If there was some way to show gratitude towards all the people who've helped with the bushfires down here in Oz, or the fuel 'n food crisis in rural Alaska, or to the volunteers who save stranded whales, or to the folks building houses for those who've lost their house...

This list can go on and on...

Too many causes, not enough time...

It takes me all the fingers on both hands (and some toes) to count the charities I give to. I don't deduct any of it either cus I feel this is a good way to help by using some spare money that would just otherwise be spent on frivolous crap.

Of course this blog was nominated not only for it's really cool title posts but also for the fact that I project a wonderful attitude. Ok, ok... maybe I don't project it all the time.

I've been told by many people over the years (bloody-long DECADES) that I always seem to "land on my feet". What does that mean? Hey, shit happens to me just as much as it does to anyone. Trust me on this! I've had some serious shit happen to me.

But for some reason things seem to work out alright for me. Is it my attitude towards life? Or do I have a guardian angel looking out for me? I don't care which! Either one works for me!

I've got a great saying that I use (and tell people) that seems to work wonders. I'll be nice and share it with you. Whenever something bad (but trivial) happens, just think, "If that's the worst thing that happens today, then it will be a good day."

If someone cuts you off in traffic do you get mad and yell and scream at them? Do you then go home and tell the family how some jerk cut in front of you on the highway? Well next time it happens, just think this:

If that's the worst thing that happens today, then it will be a good day.

Oh no! There's a line at the checkout at the grocery store! Damn! Oh, wait...

If that's the worst thing that happens today, then it will be a good day.

Shit! That bastard won't let me get past him on the escalator! ***&%#$%$@*!!!!! Oh, wait...

If that's the worst thing that happens today, then it will be a good day.

See? It works!

Next topic: Fermented Lemons.

This isn't a lemon beer recipe (that's just way too tedious), but instead it's a quick way to ferment them thar lemons that life just tossed at you.

Slice up four or five lemons. Toss them in a big ole 20 litre (5 gallon) pot. Chuck in 2 or 3 pounds of sugar. Add some hot water to bring it up to almost full. Stir it well to dissolve the sugar. Sprinkle 2 or 3 tbsp of yeast. Put a lid on it. Any room that hangs out around 70 F should be fine for keeping it in.

2 days later, bottle it! Ummmmmm, use a ladle, strainer, and a funnel. You should get around 50 bottles of fermented lemons.

Next step: drink it! Go on, I dare ya.

Next topic: Can you count?

I mean really now. NO ONE wanted to count the birds in this pic? There are SEVEN (7) rainbow lorikeets in the picture. Can you find them all?
how many lorikeets

I almost forgot... I'm supposed to award the Lemonade Blogger Award to 5 (or is it 10) other bloggers. That'll have to wait till next time since I need to work on dinner.

And don't forget: coming soon... Naked Pink Ladies From Oz!

and one weird cat


Loveanewidea said...

very nice on the award - and have a great attitude. Now, this lemon stuff something you can really drink?

Anonymous said...

I remember accidentally learning what hard lemonade meant at a young age.