Monday, April 07, 2008


Well, well, WELL! The title of this post should bring a (w)hole bunchaya scurrying 'round ta 'ere. If knot, then perhaps those of us here can go out and throw some meat on the barbie.

Ahhhhh... Isn't aussie (ozzie) slang the rippa?

Many (probably most) of you are hear (here) this arvo cus I've got pics of my chess table on this wee little post. For those of you who aren't here for that: bugger off! No, just kidding.

My chess table... why did I make it? Well, I was kinda bored for a week. It took that long cus of all the drying time, the table itself can be made in a day but it'll look really crappy. I hadn't really played much chess over the last decade or so. In fact, the best game I'd had to this point was in the basement of a pub in Fairbanks, Alaska. The pub was called The Dog House and ran by a lady (Gerry) who used to own The Blue Marlin (before the unliscensed propane stove caught fire). Ummmm, I'm sure I've lost y'all by now but those of you old time Squarebanksans will remember the pizza, the bluegrass, and the *ambiance* of that place...

Anyways, the basement had a dart board, a chess set, checkers, and a loo. I was the one who usually pumped out and fixed the loo when it was really cold (like minus 45), so Gerry gave me lots of beer. In fact, she even left one arvo to run some errands and let me behind the register, grill, and (most importantly) the tap. Ahem... that was a fun day.

Where was I? Ah, right chess.

I've recently started playing chess online. Yes, my glasses suddenly sprouted tape on the nose bridge, my pants became short, a pocket protector appeared in pocket of my new shirt,  I grew an overbite, and I suddenly started stammering and babbling incoherently (more so than usual) whenever a sheila looked at me.

No, I joke.

No, REALLY! I'm kidding!

Aw shit, ya'll ain't buying one ounce o' this crap!

Time to be serious --a first for me!

The octagonal "squares" on the board are 5.7 cm by 5.7 cm by 5.7 cm by 5.7 cm. Why? Well if'n any of you paid attention during shop class and geometry class (the two were mutually exclusive except for myself) then you'll know about the dimensions.

Anyways, before I get to the pics, I should give you a link to the site I'm playing chess online. See, there it was; hope you didn't miss it! If anyone wants to join and have a game (you can challenge other players), then feel free to challenge me. It's free! Wee! My username is davedownunder    They didn't have enough space for the alaskan part, but oh well. Ah, Jess, wanna see whatcha got?

Anna, wanna play? It's free!

My chess table was made from scratch, every piece of wood was a junk piece of cheap pine. The only thing I had to buy was a can of satin varnish, a can of gloss clear coat, two cans of different coloured wood stain, and 2 cans of powdered wood filler. The rest was on hand. Oh, the table saw was on hand too :)

Here are the pics (I've made you wait this long so what's a bit more, eh?)

Oh, if'n anyone is interested in the tekneekal detales of making this, jus lemme know, eh? The last thing I'll say about MY chess table is that when the top is unscrewed, a couple of 200 lb blokes can stand on the bottom shelf with no worries!

Here is a shot of the Faerie back row

and to counter that, we have the dragon back row

Now, I ask you thusly: which set looks cooler and badassed?

Let's have a few shots of a match in progress, shall we?

Here's an overhead. As you can see, I also play backgammon.

This is my normal view (at least for me) cus I like playing the dragons.

Here's a side-on view. The two cases at the base of the pic contain dominoes (I'm a dork).

And just cus all my 3d programs that I use have orthagonal views...

Shall we now meet all the pieces? Well, yes. Since I'm writing this (after getting up many times to stretch my back out) we shall.

Da dragon side

And the faerie side.

One dragon castle guarding his horde.

One faerie castle guarding her magic mushroom.

One dragon knight with a sword in his hands, NOT his willy.

The upturned leaves of the lily pad lets the faerie knight glide gracefully over other pieces.

Dragon bishops like to hang out in graveyards.

Faerie bishops are from their Order of The Rose.

The dragon queen. Doesn't she look pissed!

Here's another shot of her. Yup, still pissed.

The faerie queen has nice, ummmm, seashells...

The dragon king does not look happy. Maybe it's cus he has to put up with who's next to him?

The faerie king makes a peace offering.

Notice the beatific, glazed, hypnotized looks on the faerie pawns faces.

In marked contrast to the dragon pawns who don't like to take orders.

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