Tuesday, September 01, 2009

The Crusty Old Fart & The Young Babe With Big Ta-Ta's

Yes, it's finally time for me to reveal my age to y'all. And, of course, to post some rather risque pics of a naked babe with big, full, soft, bouncing, delectable ta-ta's.

However, you'll have to wait for the pics cus I've got me some ramblin' to do first. And then I'll tell you my age --and probably ramble a bit more.

First up: Absolutely NO ONE even tried to guess the movie that contained this classic line;



They've all got it in fo' me!

I'm guessing it's cus by the time you read this post you were sure someone else would have already guessed it. *Ahem*

Yes, as you already know, it's from fairly recent movie (it's a talkie, therefore recent) from 1963. Carry On Cleo is the title, and the line was spoken by Kenneth Williams playing the part of Julius Caesar.

Yep, I'm *sure* y'all (k)new that!

Here, this next one is easy: In what Fairy Tale did Superman (Christopher Reeve, rest his soul) appear and what part did he play? --and no accessing Google OR IMDB cus that's cheating!





You have until I decide to post my next post at this here posting place; where I post.

Getting on with just how old I am... I've decided that I'm not going to post my age in years, or days, or any other system familiar to you. Now, Relatively speaking, I'm pretty darned young, but some Uncertainty arrives when I start using planks. Ok, I've probably just now confused everyone with the exception of two or three of my readers... Too bad.

Relatively speaking, I am 12 and 1/2 days old relative to the galactic centre of The Milky Way (that's the galaxy we live in, BTW) --as measured from the point of view of a light particle! Yup, still got me bottle! Good thing they still fill it with Everclear...

How did I arrive at this number? Well, quite simply I've traveled a bit over 200 billion miles through this particular galaxy. Actually it's 200,579,031,140 miles but who's counting. To calculate that I first found out how many miles I've traveled on the earth's surface relative to the center of the earth. Of course, I had to account for the multiple decades I spent at high latitudes and the oblong shape of this planet; but no worries it was fairly simple. I then figured out how many miles the Earth itself has traversed around Sol during my lifetime --accounting for the eccentricity of the orbit-- and added those together. I then calculated how far our Solar System has traveled through the Milky Way --not forgetting that our Solar System bobs up and down-- The total was 200,579,031,140 miles IN RELATION TO the galactic centre of The Milky Way.

And then it was a simple thing to find out how long it would take a photon to travel that distance. The answer is, of course, 12 days 11 hours 33 minutes and 1.877472 seconds, which I then rounded up to 12 and 1/2 days in light particle age!

Relatively speaking, you should be able to backwards calculate my age in Earth years, no worries. Go for it! Give it a go, mates.

Now, light age is in no Uncertain terms the end-all be-all of age calculation. Nope, it can get even more confusing! As we go to other end of the spectrum we have to make many assumptions, approximations, and just plain ole best guesses! Yes, you've guessed the next part: What's my Quantum age?

In order to calculate your Quantum age you need to calculate the Planck Time to a fairly certain degree of accuracy which is, of course, impossible. If you try you just end up with a big pile of tangled string --but that keeps the cat happy so he doesn't chew on my leg all night.

Here's the formula for calculating planck time --please note: for those of you who grew up coding on a single line this formula will make perfect sense. For the rest of you, just take a nap for a bit.


See? Isn't that simple? By using that formula one (Zoom, zoom! Off to Monte Carlo!) can easily calculate how long planck time is and then just simply convert one's age in years into planck time. (Un)Certainly!

As you can plainly figure out, this is my age in planck time:

748,079,800,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 planck time units old! Dang, just looking at that number makes my back hurt.

By now you are waiting rather impatiently for the naked pics of the babe with the big ta-ta's. I will now make you wait no longer! Cus I am nice.

Keep in mind these pics may not be work safe, but that sorta depends upon where you work, of course.



















honey bee 01

honey bee 02

honey bee 03

honey bee 04
Yeah baby, shake that booty!


Anonymous said...

Didn't he do Sleeping Beauty? That was a bit before my time, but well most of cinematic history is.

Ishmael said...

Freaky on all counts dude. Just remember: age is relative.

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

Sciencebloke: Yes, he certainly did "do" Sleeping Beauty, after all he was the Prince! LOL! The nice thing about Fairy Tale Theatre is that they were made for adults --still hilarious and with great jokes.

Ishmael: You should see the stack of various books that are my bedtime readings... That would freak you out.

Alaska-womom said...