Friday, September 19, 2008

Sarah Palin's Bodyguard Attacks Photographer

I'd heard a rumour that Sarah Palin was really really pissed at Tina Fey! Now, this could come to blows as Sarah Palin was known to rat out her own teammates in High School, so I, being an intrepid paparazzi photo-journalist, just had to stalk her to get some pics of a Sarah Palin vs Tina Fey catfight!

Ha! How's that for a lead-in? Heck, I didn't have to go to 5 colleges to get MY photo journalism degree! Well, does ten years at one university count?


I carefully stalked my prey... And then I found Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd Palin, in a conference. Could they be discussing State Business perhaps?

I slithered closer...

Then I overheard:

SP: That damn bitch Tina Fey!

TP: What's wrong honey? Would you like another foot massage?

SP: Damnit! She does a better "Sarah Palin" than I do!

TP: Yes, dear. Whatever you say.

SP: I HATE Tina Fey!

TP: I've just finished cleaning and oiling your hunting rifles.

SP: Oh, that's thoughtful dear. *pats TP on head*

SP: Aha! I know! I'll do an impression of Tina Fey "doing" Sarah Palin!

TP: Oh that's a another great idea of yours.

SP: Yes, I know. *smug grin* Now run along and play with your emails and the document shredder.

TP: Yes dear. Why did I marry her? Oh, right, I knocked her up... damn.


By this time I was in the perfect position to take a picture of a NAKED SARAH PALIN as she practices her air guitar for her Tina Fey impression. Please note her husband is a dutiful two paces behind her.
sarah palin as tina fey
Look at me! I can play air guitar better than Tina Fey!

All of a sudden, her GODLESS COMMIE RUSSIAN BODYGUARD that she befriended last episode rose up and demanded my camera!
upset cockatoo
Give me the camera and I'll only cripple you!

Then he charged me! Fortunately for me his pockets were filled with oil money which slowed down his charge and allowed me to escape.
charging cockatoo

I was lucky to escape with my camera and my life! Whew! The things I do for my fans...


Jim and Heather on Meerkat said...

Ha ha ha!! You quack me up.
The very 1st time I saw Sarah Palin (oh, gee about a week and a half ago when in San Diego for 1 day - never heard of her until then) I thought "TINA FEY". I think I'd rather have Tina on the VP list...
Another reason to stay in Mexico...
Great, wonderful pics!

Anonymous said...

yer a smark ya are, jus sayen..


CabinDweller said...

Excellent pictures as usual, AK Dave. You're setting some kind of record with your Palin headlines ... how long can you go on?

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

Heather: I'd known of Sarah Palin when she was mayor of Wazuula (Wasilla)... I was scared then! I'd never heard of Tina Fey until some bloggers started to say she should do an impersonation of Sarah Palin. Stay in Mexico!!!

Sky: I'd rather be called a smart*ass than a dumb*ss :)

Cabindweller: Just wait till the screensavers, postcards, greeting cards, mugs, and mousepads come out! Ha!

Jim and Heather on Meerkat said...

Oh you poor thing. Never heard of Tina Fey? You have been deprived. Saturday Night Live - she was not only very funny on the show, but she is/was an excellent writer - of the show and other things. I think your life would have been better had it been the other way around...