Besides I've got heaps more readers now and all you newbies need to know about ME! Why? Cus. That's why. "Because" worked when I was 5, and it stills works now so I'm stickin' with it. Why am I stickin' with it? Cus. That's why.
I just got a great writeup in someone else's blog so now I'm guaranteed of fame and fortune. Wait, I already have both of those. But it's still a cool writeup from a cool lady (and I use that term rather loosely --I JOKE, please don't kill me!). Heck anyone who can give birth to a puppy has to be cool --and she stayed out of jail too.
It haz all so cum two miy uhtenshun that sum peepul theenc eye m phunnie. Ore at leeste phunnie-loocin'.
If you are one of those folk (and was able to decipher the above garbage) then I'm really going to show you just how funny looking I can be! Today even. Right now. Yes, yes the pics today ARE worksafe but I recommend you do not slurp soda or coffee while looking at the pics. AND make sure you've got something work-related on your taskbar that you can quickly click on for when you hear your bosses footsteps approaching your cubicle.
There, I've given you ample warning.
Firstly, I'm gonna give a big ole wave to all my readers! Please be aware though, I don't like to wear underware. You've been warned.
And just in case you need any further proof about my lack of underwear:
BTW, the temp in the direct sun is 113.9 F right now and I'm now going to move the sensor into the shade, back in two ticks!
T
i
c
k
T
o
c
k
.
.
.
B
e
e
p
B
e
e
p
.
.
.
*you're sorry, the number we were trying to reach is currently unavailable in this galaxy, please try again in 57,234,765 Planck time units*
Hey! I'm back. Did you miss me? Well, the temp in the shade is BLOODY-WELL FREEZING!!! 79 F! *grumble* Now where the heck did I put those bunny boots...?
And there's ice on the pool. Well, no there isn't... But it sure feels like there is when I jump in!
And just look! You can actually see the icycles hanging off my goosebumps in this next pic:
I gots to tell ya, lunch is me favourite meal of the day:
Be careful though, beer and swimming do not mix!
Oh, I just noticed that Alaska-womom seems to be begging me for a pic of meself. Why? Well if you read her writeup you'll notice she uses a teeny-tiny thumbnail pic of me. Why? Hmmmmmmm, perhaps she wants a pic and is too embarrassed to ask? Heck, maybe her hubby wants a pic and is waaaaaay too embarased to ask?
But never fear gentle readers, I know why these type of requests happen. And (for once) I'm going to tell the truth! Shocking, ain't it?
Truth starts here
There was a period of around 5 years in which I was told I looked like a few famous people. Not just any ole famous person mind you --Gack, just imagine if someone said you look like Nixon! Fortunately, I was never mistaken for Nixon.
No, for about 5 years hardly a month went by when I was not told by some random housewife at the grocery store that I look just like Mel Gibson. Back in his Lethal Weapon days, mind you. I'm NOT making this up!
Even WP can confirm this since it happened a couple of times when she was with me at the grocery store.
There was one time when I was delivering a parcel to an office and the receptionist did a double take. She then said I look just like David Lee Roth. NO JOKE!
One time a trick-or-treater said, "Dude, you look just like George from George of the Jungle." And I wasn't even wearing my leopard-skin g-string.
Ok, ok. you can get up from rolling around on the floor laughing. HARUMPH! But it's TRUE! And I can prove it.
How many of you have Big enough, Brass enough, Hanging-Down-To-The-Knee Cajones to actually post your CURRENT passport photo? Or CURRENT drivers license photo? C'mon, these are the two photos that show all your flaws and foibles to the whole world!
So, here is my very latest and CURRENT passport photo! This is what Uncle Sam thinks I look like RIGHT NOW!
Oops. Uh, heh heh. Wrong photo. But I can tell you that I'm the bloke in the blue snow pants and me mate in the red jacket is now a brain surgeon. Hope that helps you feel calm the next time you have to go see a doctor.
Back to my passport photo. Oh, you'll notice I'm still in the "truth" section so I'm not pulling your leg. Well, I *could* be pulling your leg, but I'd still be telling the truth.
Here it is.
M
y
c
u
r
r
e
n
t
U
S
p
a
s
s
p
o
r
t
p
h
o
t
o
.
.
.
.
.
.
I now challenge all my loyal readers to post either their passport photo or drivers license photo to their blog! Oh, and be sure to let me know when you do so that I can go look and have a good laugh.
Ta for now!
11 comments:
LMAO! Really. too funny. I would have asked for a pic but then you would have known I was up to something--anyway--that was a kick in the shorts or something like that.
I am often confused with David Lee Roth and Richard Nixon also. Go figure.
No way am I posting my drivers licence pic! I think they train those ladies at DMV to get the worst possible pic they can so when you look like shit you stil look like yourself--
Love the pics, as always. Well, not really the passport one, but definitely the lunch one!
Alaska-womom-blond-trickster: Thou dost giveth me credit whereupon credit should not be forthcoming! For if thou had but asked for yonder facsimile or caricature of mine features, then not only would I have been forthcoming but I wouldst devined no nefarious intentions from thee.
SV Meerkat: What? You really don't like my passport pic? *sob* *sniffle*
Wellith,I knoweth now. Therefore, the very next time I desire to participate in some activities of a fair haired and beguiling nature I will but petition you for thy cooperation.
So, reading between the lines: you moved to Oz to get the Mel's-baby-brother discount?
Of course, since reading the very first line I have Toby Keith's 'I Wanna Talk About ME' on streaming audio in my head. Thanks ever so much for that:
I wanna talk about me.
Wanna talk about I.
Wanna talk about number one.
Oh my me my.
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see.
I like talking about you you you you, usually.
But occasionally I wanna talk about meeeeee (me,me,me,me).
I wanna talk about me (me,me)!
Alaska-womom-goldenlocked-siren: Aye, For I can not better think of any yon' lass in th' frozen north to join in foulplotting forthwith. Perchance the notoriety of yonder deeds shall make upon us th' gift of a "cease & desist" from some unmentionable scoundrel!
la isla d'lisa: Nice try, but since I've never even heard of the singer or the tune I won't have it stuck in my head --although there is plenty of room up there.
I'm gonna make the lunch one my new screen saver.
Love love love the lunch table in the pool!
I don't wear underwear either -- unless my dress is short.
girldujour: I just realised I haven't added you to the blogroll, gotta fix that! Hmmmm, no undies... so are you going to post a picture of you in wet clothing with no undies like I have? I dare ya!
Can't see any resemblance to Mel Gibson. But definitely see the David Lee Roth resemblance in your passport photo - are you jewish?
Post a Comment