Saturday, September 30, 2006

Confessions of a Blathering Idiot

Confessions of a Blathering Idiot

I really hope that I invent one of the devices I talked about earlier on Sept 23rd that way when I come up with some really cool stuff to post I won't forget it. All the stories and tidbits that fly like greased lightning through my skull (no brain to stop em, so they get in, see the light from the far ear, and are GONE), can be put down on paper --eeck, showing my age, I mean Wordpad (TM)-- for y'all to peruse at your leisure.

Oh boy (girl); this post could be disjointed. Disjointed: you know, when you are carving a leg of lamb or pig and you need to get through the joint. As completely opposed to someone who didn't respect Spiderman's girlfriend (get it??? No, I'll spell it out for you: Dis meaning disrespected; Joint meaning rolled up cannibis (otherwise known as Mary Jane); Peter Parker's girlfriend is Mary Jane ---NOW do you get it???)...

In case anyone is interested, I've had a lot of edjukashun. I remember one of my 3rd year uni fizzics classes quite fondly... My lab partner wrote on the top of a paper I'd turned in "This paper belongs to Dave Downes, Master of the Obvious; Alias Dave "Read the fucking manual" Downes". I turned it in anyway, can't remember if I got bonus points or not but I thought it was pretty cool. I got the nickname from a lab TA who, after a few weeks of me, said, "Dave, just read the fucking manual", very cool, eh?

I guess I learnt the lesson as I'm the one who always reads the manuals on the new electronic gadgets we perloin --let's see... insert 2 C batteries and turn the knob on the bottom to "high".

Whoopsie, that may be more than you wanted to know, so just pretend you didn't read it and I didn't type it.

Oh, for those of you "up over" it is springtime here in Oz. That means it's 70-85 F during the days and the grass is green. My garlic bulbs are already sprouting (yes, I planted them late), the thyme is fine, the oregano is doing great, rosemary bushes are flowering (so is the thyme), sage is plentiful, the potato vine is flowering, the grape vines are going gangbusters (gotta harvest some grape leaves in about two weeks to make Dolmades throughout the summer), this year's basil is thriving --no thanks to the loopers, the coriander (cilantro) seeds are poking up, just saw the first of the roses opening this morning while I was watering everything... Sigh, life is GOOD! The apple tree is in full bloom, so is the orange tree. The lemon tree has had lemons year-round, very cool. The freezer is packed with last years apricots. Ummm, did I mention that life is GOOD?

Looper (caterpillar) control. There's a bio-insecticide that I use. It's powder you mix with water. It's a bacteria that kills the caterpillars when ingested and doesn't do anything to the beneficial bugs. I highly recommend it.

Snails... Ok, I'm bad; I use snail pellets. The coffee ground (caffeine makes the snail hearts explode) procedure doesn't seem to work, and I don't have poultry (chooks and ducks eat all the snails).

I'm going to have shrooms again this year, and THIS time they won't end up as snail food.

I do have a lot of wood to chop this afternoon, most of it will be easy (for me), but I've got a couple of log-sized branches to get through. No chain saw for me, just a good sharp axe and a blue ox (does any of you mtv generation even know what I'm talking about????). Have you ever tried to chop through gum logs? That stuff is DENSE! I mean, even denser than me! Hey, I can chop and split pine in my sleep, one handed, blind-folded, bare-footed. But gum... Oof-da, tough stuff. Fortunately, one well-seasoned log of gum tossed on the fire will heat the whole back of the house all night. So I guess it's worth it, eh?

FOOD finally, dave

Dinner tonight is going to be potato cakes (with lots of stuff added), with crab and shrimp (prawn) sauce on the side. Another side will be fresh, steamed asparagus with homemade hollandaise sauce. Dessert will be fresh homemade chocolate-mint ice cream. Did I mention the three kinds of mint plants I have growing??? No? Well one of them is chocolate mint --very very good. Total time: 30 mins for four adult sized servings. Well, not true, I will be making the ice cream ahead of time.

Shrimp is called Prawns down here. So for those of you who remember the Paul Hogan commercial about enticing USins to visit Oz by saying "We'll throw some shrimp on the barby for ya"... Well, IT'S CRAP! It really should be Prawns...


This one may be an acquired taste, but you get it anyways:

Another food processor recipe! Actually, this is a spread type thingy so I'm not sure if it counts.

If you don't like salty fishy stuff, then don't bother reading any further. No wait, come baaaaacckkkk... Doesn't anybody love me anymore???

We'll call this one anchovy butter, y'all ok with that?


A few tablespoons of butter
A few anchovies (if you don't know about 'em, then you probably don't like 'em)
Some canned tuna --around an oz (no, not Oz as in folks from Australia, lower case oz is short for ounce) (NOT canned tuna fish!!! Tuna is already a fish, duh. Like, do you say "canned salmon fish", or "canned mackerel fish"??? No, I thought not!!!)


Chuck it all in a food processor and process til it's a creamy butter.

Use it as you would any butter, duh.

Variation #1: Add some roasted garlic!

Variation #2: Add some minced onion!

Variation #3: Add some whips and chains --whooops! How'd that SLIP in there?

Variation #4: Add some ginger powder or fresh ginger!

the list goes on...

Have a great weekend everyone, seize ya later!


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