Monday, September 25, 2006

Waffling around

Apologies all 'round folks (all ZERO of you). I'm very very sorry about the previous post... See, I've promised that this will not turn into a Rant and Rave blog and especially not a politcal one. We've got enough bad crap happening in Real Life that I feel these online thingy-bob doo-hickeys should be a little more fun than that.

But hey, that's just my (very) humble opinion and I hope I'm welcome to it.

Sooooo... Think happy thoughts everyone and you'll fly just like me --with a little magic fairy dust. What was it called... Angel Dust or something like that? LDS? PCB? DDT? Mary Jane (Watson)? Damn these memory lapses!

By the way: did anyone else catch on to the name of Spiderman's girlfriend? I noticed it when the comic first came out. Whoopsie, showing my age --of Aquarius... Did you know that I've seen Three Dog Night live in concert? I've also seen Arlo Guthrie live in concert! Let me tell you, the fumes from walking around those "concerts" would make a hardcore Talkeetna Bluegrasser gag (those of you in the Mat-Su Valley KNOW exactly what I'm talking about).

Fortunately, I was able to avoid most of that during my formative years as I was also a sportsdude. Unless it was a team sport where all the jocks were. Then I usually ended up inside a locker... NOTE this is a foreshadowing of stories from my wasted youth yet to come. So you'll just have to stay tuned, eh?

Nowadays, I toss logs over six foot fences, split redgum with only an axe (GRRR!!! WOOF!!!), leap tall buildings in a single bound, and ride faster than a speeding bullet. I have Power Tools (and I can use them). Of course, if I forget my cape then all bets are off as the ole crappy back and weak, spindly arms start to play a slightly more prominent role.

Just one thing to say to the school-yard bullies: You're still working and I'm not! THHBBTT!!

Food Stuff:

You may have guessed that I like to eat and I like to cook. Fortunately, I am very good at both. My waistline refuses to testify on the grounds that it WILL incremenate me.

I was planning on starting to tell you all about the utter coolness of sourdough breads and sourdough starters. However, I don't have nearly enough time to do that right now, so you are just going to have to settle for one of my favorites (favourites). This is also a favourite (favorite) of every single person I've made it for --and that's a lot. I was going to type in "without further ado" but I think I used it last time. Damn, where's that thesaurus? Oh, right, it's extinct...

No more fanfare, here you are:

Special Beer Batter Waff-lees

You may notice something here as time goes on (ummm, besides the ticking of the clock), and that something is the fact that you'll see quite a few beer battered goodies from yours truly (or at least from me).

Remember, the founding fathers of the US of A were home brewers (we'll just go along with modern revisionist history about ignoring them pretty much all being slave owning folk too, eh) and I believe it was one of those dudes (I can't remember which, my memory is hazy from that long ago) who said in reply to a tax on beer "But sirrah, it is liquid bread!"

Alrighty, enough waffling already: here's what you need for some really great waffles:

One waffle iron --well, DUH! However, I am soooo glad that I brought my waffle iron down here from Alaska as I have yet to see a single waffle iron of ANY kind for sale here in the land down under... SHEEESH, the belgian immigrants must be furious.

Alrighty, no dramas, here we go...

What you need:

2 1/4 cups (533 mls) flour --note, not self-rising!
3 (45 mls) tablespoons sugar --I use raw sugar for everything (well, almost, snicker snicker)
1/2 tsp (1/2 teaspoon) salt (NON-iodised sea salt --see a previous rant of mine somewhere)
6 tbsp (6 tablespoons or 90 mls) melted butter (not clarified... ah, perhaps I should clarify that term...)
2 eggs (chicken eggs, not platypus eggs) lightly beaten --don't forget to crack them outta their shells before beating them suckers
1 tsp (5 mls) vanilla essence --imitation or real, don't matter except for the price
1 tbsp (15 mls or 1 tablespoon) orange juice --if you don't have an orange tree out front (snicker, I gots a lemon tree out front too), then try to
use the freshest you can obtain (orange, not tree)
1 can of brewskie --a light pilsner works best, but hey, to each his/her own

Here's what you do:

Mix flour, sugar, and salt. Ummmm, I'd suggest using a large bowl to mix it in...

Melt the butter and let it cool --How to melt butter: microwave for 20 seconds (1/3 minutes), then stir, then nuke another 1/3 of a minute (20 seconds)... repeat till it's all melted (the butter you fool).

Chuck everything (including melted, cooled butter) into the bowl with the flour, sugar, and salt. Beat the heck out of it with a wooden spoon until the batter is smooth.

Let the batter sit a room temp* for at least an hour (overnight works too).

Give the batter a quick stir before using it in your waffle iron. If I have to tell you how to use and clean your waffle iron then I think you are on the wrong blog.

*room temp... Damn how I LOVE that term!!! The room temp here when the a/c is off is around 100 F (38 C). In the mornings room temp in the back can be 5 C (41 F).

So, like, try it, you'll like it!

'till next time,


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