Saturday, October 25, 2008

It's a Cruel World...

Yes, this may come as a surprise to many of you, but life isn't all "wine 'n' roses", "champagne 'n' strawberries", "bread 'n' circuses", "grits 'n' hush puppies"... well, you get the idea.

Once in a while, things go wrong.

Yesterday was one of those days.

It all started out with a bleedin' freezin' mornin' at 530 am. The dang birds were tramping on the roof, screaming like mad, and letting me know that in no uncertain terms that'd better get my lazy ass outside (in the chill antarctic air) and give them their sunflower seeds.

Ok, ok. I found my robe, staggered down the stairs, kicked (tripped over) the cat, fed the little furball, and stumbled outside to meet the day (with all due regards to Johnny Cash's song Sunday Morning Sideways).

Hmmmm, didn't smell fried chicken... but them cockatoos look tasty...

Anyways, I put out some seeds for the little dears, and then I noticed that it was COLD! I mean, like REALLY COLD!

Well, there was only one thing to do and that was to warm up. Fortunately, the pool had held it's heat overnight night (the ice hadn't had time to form) so I tossed down the robe and skinny-dipped.

At 5:30 am

The water was warmed than the air

The exotic, wild, parrots (greedy bastards) were flitting around eating

The sun was rising

Did I mention I was naked in the pool?

See? SEE??!?!?! The sorta things I have to go through! I mean really, when the water is warmer than the air! Sheesh.

Later on that day...

It got even worse! Can you believe it? I mean really, after being forced to skinny-dip in the pool cus that air was colder than the water while watching the parrots f*cking around in the yard, could it get ANY worse?

Well, yes. Of course it could.

See, I had to go to Bunnings Warehouse to get a new hand-held pressure sprayer for the tomato(e) and basil plants (damned caterpillars). Oh, what's Bunnings Warehouse? Imagine a cross between True Value Hardware, Home Depot, and the largest plant and garden centre you can think of, all tucked into a building larger than a Sam's Club.

Yeah, nice place.

Anyways, the isle where the sprayers and hoses were was blocked off cus they were forklifting around pallets of goodies on the isle for 15 mins.

GAWD! The horrors of it all! I was forced, FORCED I TELL'S YA, to have to wander around the garden centre, power tool areas, pool accessory area, power tools, cafe (had a coffee), outdoor BBQ section, timber, power tools, I even had to go outside and get a sausage on a bun from the grill, and finally perused the power tool area. Eventually, they opened up the isle so I could get my pressure sprayer. Most horrid 15 mins of my life! Guys, don't let this happen to you!

But I do feel that I should put up a nice parrot picture for you. After all, isn't that what you come here for? It certainly couldn't be Sarah Palin satire, now could it?

two rainbow lorikeets eating
Please note that I kept the camera from getting wet as I was in the pool.

Now, if'n y'all don' mind, I's gonna go take a nap *wink*.
sleeping koala


Ishmael said...

Thanks so much for keeping the photos to the wildlife!

Jim and Heather on Meerkat said...

Sounds like life around here sometimes... except the nice store. But we don't need to much garden stuff, being that we live on a boat.

Anonymous said...

A nice nap would seem appropriate after that day.