Saturday, October 11, 2008

Sarah Palin Overnighted In My Pool!

Oh the HORRORS!! You just can't imagine the heebie-jeebies I got this morning when I found out that Sarah Palin had spent the night in my pool! AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! Quick, where's the disinfectant? Gotta get extra chlorine in the filters! Better drain it to make sure!

Ok, calm down...




Of course I had to go inside and grab the camera; some things just have to be documented! Here we go: Sarah Palin swimming around in my pool!
Sarah Palin in my pool
Hmmmmmm, good thing the undead don't need to breathe, eh?

Maybe she was chasing this:
drowned bug

I tell ya, it's a darned good thing I skim the pool before having a swim in the mornin', you betcha!

She then transformed into one of her more familiar guises that I see down here in the backyard. She did, however, at least have the decency(!) to be embarrassed about the whole episode:
embarrased Sarah Palin
Hmmmmm, some quote about crocodile tears comes to mind...

Or maybe there was a reporter nearby?

New topic!

It's bloody well COLD down here today! This morning when I got up to feed the birds (lousy buggers, waking me up at 5:00 am on a Saturday) and to let the panther out for his dawn patrol, I noticed that it was COLD!

How cold was it, dave?

How does 19 degrees sound? Yep, COLD is how it sounds! Even now in the middle of the day it's only up to 29 in the shade. The pool is hanging out at an arctic-like 24. Even the direct sun has only warmed the pool patio (where the frozen tomato(e) plants are) up to 48.


How are folks even supposed to live in these conditions?

It's a good thing them weather prognisticator blokettes are sayin' it's gonna warm up this arvo to 33 in the shade. That way the ice will melt off'n that thar pool!

And look at this! One of the poor sunflowers froze and shriveled up while opening:
half opened sunflower
Poor thing.

Oh, wait a sec. Hang about...
Ha, ha, SILLY me! Had the darned thermostatomometers set for celsius! Oops.

Here, this'll help y'all out: F=((9/5)*C)+32


Ishmael said...

one, what the HELL are those icky things?

two, no your Newtonion equation to help us understand you're freezing does NOT help. But thanks for trying.

Here's a tip: Don't make your drunken blog readers do math.

P.S. No more pictures of ugly bugs! And why the hell aren't the 1,000 birds in your back yard eating them?

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

Fishmeal: One, they're called insects. I think one of them is called a "spider".

Two, it's called al-gee-bra. Or did you skip ahead to the "gee, BRA!" part?

Tipping, what makes you think I was sober when I wrote it? What makes you think I'm sober now?

D, the birds do eat the bugs. But not at night which is why the spiders come out then.

19 C is 66 F
29 C equates to 84 F
24 C is the same as 75 F
33 C corresponds to 91 F

And yesterdays temp in the sun hit 45 C, which you would call "gawd awful f*cking blast-furnance hot"; I even took off my flannel shirt.

Anonymous said...

Sarah Palin is an ugly bugger, huh?

Did you see her booed like crazy at the hockey game. It was so loud that they had to crank up the music full blast just do kinda drown it out.

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

sigh-ense-bloke: Yeah, I saw that! Brought a smile to my face. Why aren't her kids in school?